Lately, I’ve been thinking about the image I portray on social media. Leaving Facebook out of the equation (since I rarely use it), I’m mainly focusing on Twitter and my blog.
Last week, I stepped away from Twitter for a short while. I didn’t even plan on it, but gradually felt less inclined to tweet any thoughts or even open the app when I had a chance. I felt a need to step away for a while.
I know when Twitter starts to become a negative force in my life. It’s when I start using the website for validation and acceptance, when I look at all the conversations buzzing around me and feel overwhelmed. It’s when I start feeling left out and annoyed by all these conversations. It’s when the screen in front of me is more important than the person sitting next to me.
I don’t want to be a slave to my phone. I love my phone and I think it’s a ridiculously good source of information and help and guidance and community when I need it. But I can also find those things in the people standing in front of me. I can have actual conversations with real, live people! And when I stop putting effort into them, my addiction is out of control. Candy Crush is not more important than listening to a story a coworker is saying. Jumping into a Twitter conversation is not more important than my mom talking to me about her day. Finding that perfect filter for an Instagram photo is not more important than watching my nephew play t-ball.
I want to be present in my life. I want to show up. And when my nose is constantly buried in my iPhone screen, I’m not doing that. I’m present in another area, but not always present where it matters.
I have gotten completely off-topic from my first sentence, though. The point of this post isn’t about using technology too much. It’s about what image I portray.
I don’t want to be someone who only uses social media to complain about anything and everything – my job, my family, my coworkers, public transportation, my neighbors, my roommate, on and on and on. I don’t want someone who seems to jump on the attack whenever someone poses a (usually) harmless question or comment. And on that same note, I also don’t want to only tweet when I have something positive to say. I think it’s important to be real and honest – sometimes, you do need to complain and it helps because you get feedback and support. There’s a fine line between complaining all the time and being sunshine and roses all the time.
So what image do I want to portray? I believe it is an image I’ve kept packed away and out of site because I’ve been trying too hard to emulate others. I want to portray an image of love, an image of Christ. I want my words to reflect Him and yes, even my tweets. I want people to see my Twitter stream and know there is something different. Not because I tweet incessantly about praying and Jesus and going to church… but because of my approach to Twitter. There are women I follow whom I deeply admire because of the way they send out this message of love and they have this light and joy to their lives that doesn’t come from having everything together – but because they know they are fiercely loved by God and want to show it off to the world.
I think there’s a fine line between tweeting every complaint you have and being positive all the time. I don’t want to tweet only when I’m happy, only when good things are happening. I want to be honest and open and vulnerable but leave out the snarkiness and whining. I don’t want to hide who I am, but neither do I want to be known as a complainer.
The same goes for my blog. What image am I portraying here? Is it a message of love, of vulnerability? Do I show Jesus through my words? Ultimately, this blog is for His glory, and if I’m not using it in the right way, if I’m not showing people about Jesus through my words (again, not exactly by having every post of mine filled with words like JESUS and MERCY and GRACE, but simply by the way I write)… what is the point to this?
That’s not to say I am drastically changing the way I blog or I’m closing up shop. These are just things I’ve been mulling over for the past week. My goal with this blog has never been to become popular or land a fantastic writing gig, but to simply share my story. Write the words I want to write. To be honest and vulnerable and real with how I am feeling. I have a hard time talking about my feelings to people, but writing about them is the easiest thing for me. I never want to lose that. I just want to be certain I am doing this for the right reasons.
Stepping away from social media for a bit and clearing out the noise brings me such clarity. It helps me to see what truly matters and what I am seeking. It calms me. It brings me back to my center. And I realize what is really important in my life.
This is a great topic to discuss. I go through my negatively obsessive times for social media, and it sucks! It’s like constantly being in a fog for me, and I lose sight of the world around me. Taking a break is a good idea with that happens. Thanks for writing this!
I can be very negative sometimes on Twitter and I know how other people’s negativity affects me so I don’t want to have that same affect on other people! Positivity breeds positivity, right? 🙂
Whenever I feel myself getting addicted to anything (the internet is so easy to get addicted to!) I always step away. I will say I’ve never found twitter to be negative. But definitely our generation should be aware of HOW OFTEN they are on these social media sites vs. how much they are interacting in the real world.
I do find Twitter to be negative sometimes, but I went through a major overhaul of who I follow over the weekend and deleted a bunch of people who seemed to be highly negative on Twitter. Hopefully that will help!
I know I tend to use the Internet as a crutch and as a result, I don’t put myself out there as much as I should (with real people! Standing in front of me!) so I try to be aware when I’m doing that and step away and interact with what’s in front of me.
I love this few lines from Ashley Riordan’s blog: “On a final note, please don’t define yourself by all of the things you hate. It doesn’t make you interesting that you dislike things that other people love. Your cynicism does not make you clever. Snark has its limits. It is not inauthentic to edit yourself. Criticize, fine, but also create. Really try. Be earnest. Embarrass yourself. Feel weird. Write about it.”
the post: http://www.ashleyriordan.com/blog/the-best-blogging-advice-i-have-ever-read/
I read that post and loved those sentences! So true and so right. It’s fine to be opinionated, but I think some people want to be defined by that and that’s just not me. I have my opinions but if you have a different one? Fine. Okay. That’s life.
I definitely tend to step away from the blog/social media of all sorts when I’m out of it/frustrated or feeling remotely negative. Sometimes I even draft what I would say in a word doc, but don’t put it out there. It helps! I’m with you; I don’t want to appear negative and since there is a lot that I choose not to talk about in social media world, sometimes I’m just unusually quiet (and I’m learning to be ok with that).
No matter what you write and how you write it I’ll be here! xo
It’s so hard to try to figure out what you want to be open about and what should just be left quiet. There’s a lot in my life I don’t talk about but then there’s a lot I DO and I just want to be aware of when I’m feeling negative and when Twitter/the Internet is affecting me in a negative way and to step away. It really clears my head when I do so, and it’s something I find myself doing more and more when I need quiet and peace and to be alone to figure things out.
Heart you, friend. Thanks for all the support!
Loved this for a few reasons! First, I definitely have loved not having Twitter and Facebook on my phone. It’s been challenging in some cases where I’ve been really bored (and then I resort to reading Yelp reviews which is just weird…). But for the most part, I love not feeling compelled to share EVERYTHING. I think after Lent, I probably won’t put them back.
As for images, it’s also something I’ve been thinking about. Twitter can definitely be negative, and I realized a couple of weeks ago. One thing in my “image” is that I feel like I give off the impression that I’m constantly offended by stuff, when really I’m just being silly and sarcastic. I realize that the written word is wholly different than when you say something out loud, and I need to be more cognizant of how I write things because I’ve unintentionally offended several people in the last 6 months. You’ve met me so you know I’m not an inherently bitchy person! And yet… Anyway, this is all to say I totally feel you.
Sometimes, it can be so hard for sarcasm/joking to come across as such online. I always try to put a little winky at the end, if I’m joking but I think there’s this movement that nobody should be offended about anything and if they are, well, they’re just super sensitive so TOO BAD FOR THEM. And guess what? I *am* sensitive. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m not going to apologize for that. I think it’s important to be aware of how words may come across to others. I’m really trying to be careful about it and realize I am talking to a person. It feels different, because I’m typing on a screen but that is a real person with real feelings and people forget that. I understand some people are very opinionated and passionate about certain subjects, but sometimes it can be overkill, you know?
That said, I don’t have to like everyone. Not everyone has to like me. If people want to be super crazy opinionated, okay then. That’s their prerogative. It just means I’ll probably unfollow them more often than not.
Anyway! I have met you in person and can attest you are a sweetheart so no worries, my friend. 🙂 I’m hoping we can have a chance for more time together this year, because I enjoyed our afternoon in July together a lot!
Great post! I think about this A LOT – online image. I agree with you that we shouldn’t only show positive or negative… but a mix of both. Yet, so many times, I am guilty of only the positive (I was just reading a great post about comparing yourself to people’s online “highlight reel”). Because I see all the negative and it gives me a bad impression of people. And usually the negative in my life involves other people, and is inappropriate to share. Anyway, off track.
It’s great that you stepped back and took the time to think about all this. I think that is really a big part of the issue – we are all too wrapped up in how we want to portray ourself inline that we forget about irl!
There is such a fine line between being real to people and then just being negative all the time. I don’t want to only show the pretty and the positive, but the broken and the messy. The true life of me, but there’s a lot I can’t share because it involves other people and it’s not my place to bring it up. I think short breaks from the Internet/social media are so good for clearing my head and recognizing why I feel so negative and how to change that. And realizing I don’t need to share every detail about my life.
Great post! I have stepped further and further away from Twitter and social media over the last year. Partly because I have a busy new job but also because I decided that the person IN FRONT OF ME is more important. I now leave my phone in my purse and don’t check it ever when I’m out for dinner/coffee/lunch/whatever with people. It may mean I’m slower at responding to texts or tweets but those can wait, the person I’m with in the moment is much more important and this small step has made a huge difference for how much I use social media overall. I would say I mostly scroll through it now when I’m waiting in line-ups!
I’m finding myself less and less inclined to use social media lately, and sometimes even my phone! And then I feel guilty if I have texts or Twitter messages to respond to and I’m trying to tell myself it’s OKAY to not be 100% connected all the time and it’s silly to get worked up over it.
I totally understand what you mean. I’ve been going back and forth with this for twitter and my blog for a long long time. I even took some time off, a few months actually, because my personal free time was so limited I wanted to be present in life happening around me. I wish I could have been part of the social world more, but it was a decision I had to make. In the new year, things changed and now I am able to engage on these platforms more often and I love it a lot, but there are times I am absent on twitter for days, because so much else is going on. Because of my absence from Twitter, and blogging especially, I wasn’t sure who I wanted to be on those sites anymore. Who was I really? Often times, on Twitter, I tended to tweet like the tweets I read from others. If I read a lot of sarcastic jokes, I’d start tweeting that way – if I read happiness I’d tweet happiness – complaints = complaints- and so on. I am still figuring it out, but I realizing I don’t need to stick to one way of tweeting because that’s not me. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I’m all business, sometimes I just like to make a joke and have fun. It’s who I am, and if someone is not interested then the great thing about twitter is no one is making them follow.
When you are just yourself, Stephany, your friends and followers will see this and they will see that you are more comfortable and true to yourself. That in itself will be impressive to all of us. Best of luck 🙂
Thanks for the comment, Katie! It’s really hard to figure out your own voice and what you want to say and not follow along with the crowd. I want to be me and sometimes I am sappy, sometimes I am whiny, sometimes I am joyful, sometimes I am sarcastic, sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am sad. These are all facets of me and I want to showcase them – but I want to remember how negativity affects ME and I don’t want to do the same to other people. I want to portray an image of me – which, in essence, is an image of Christ but sometimes, it’s very, very hard when life drags you down. But I know I need time away when Twitter and social media itself begins to define my worth/value as a person.
Great post! I love the idea of stepping back to evaluate your whole image, instead of focusing on the little snippets from right now. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, in the internet, in social media, and keeping a handle on the larger picture can offset that. I’m excited to see your voice develop more!
It’s funny, but when you do take a step back, you start to realize you think in 140 characters. At least I do. It’s hard to break the habit of not immediately tweeting every thought and feeling I have, but I do want to be aware of how I’m portraying myself and to make sure I’m just being me – not a version of me I’m holding onto because I think it’ll get me more followers. (Ugh, it hurts to even write that! So crazy what we do for validation!)
For awhile I was forced away from Twitter. For some reason it was making my computer run REALLY slow so I just couldn’t use it.
I agree with you that there’s a fine line between being completely negative on it and being completely positive. But as I’m currently on a job hunt I’m always trying to be more aware of what I tweet. Sometimes that isn’t always easy, because I’m a tweet before I think sort of person. But I am trying.
All you can do is try! When I was job hunting, I was very aware that what I tweet can be seen by anyone. And you don’t want your feed to be filled with complaints and negativity – who would want to hire a negative person? There’s also a lot I don’t tweet about – my family, anything involving my job, etc. Some things are just meant to be left unsaid. It always makes me a little wary when people complain, complain, complain about their jobs on Twitter. Anyone can see that! Eek.
I am definitely guilty of overusing my phone. I have gotten better and I can say I rarely have my phone out when I am with Phil as I try to be present, and I have been better about putting it away when I am with family so I can soak up the time with them.
Lately I have definitely had way more of a negative attitude on twitter. I know I am probably bordering on being this vortex of negativity so it might be time for me to take a step away and write my thoughts/frustrations down instead of blasting them out to the world…
It’s really hard, when you’re going through a difficult time to not be negative on Twitter. And face it: you are dealing with a LOT. I do NOT expect you to be sunshine and butterflies and I really do not think of you as a negative person at all!
When I’m going through a rough time and the only things I can think to tweet are negative stuff, that’s when I step away and just take a breather. I need that because I know when I turn inward and direct my thoughts to my journal and to God, I get more clarity than if I were to spew Twitter and my blog with all my negativity. That’s why I took a month off social media in August and why I continually step away for a while when I find myself feeling down because I know sometimes I tweet just for the validation.
It’s hard, though! I want to be a positive force on Twitter, but I also want to be real and that means showing the messy sides of me. There’s a fine line, definitely.
For me, it’s always just been a given in my mind that when I’m writing there is a direct link to my relationship with God in the words, their structure, their development. I honestly don’t know if people see that in my writing, and it may be less present in certain posts (such as my Links & Drinks) than others (such as my BookThoughts or random ponderings of life). It is probably especially present in my journal, though, which no one sees. I am, of course, blatantly honest there. About most things. Sometimes I find it hard, still, to write about something even though I know I’m the only one seeing it. Anyway, I think this was part of the reason why I was so torn down a few weeks ago about my blog and why I took that random break, because I wasn’t writing about the things I actually wanted to be writing about. What I did was try to reevaluate my intention behind the things I was posting, and once I clarified why I wanted to post a certain entry, I felt better about what I was putting on my blog. Maybe you just need to reevaluate your blog and decide what you want out of it these days. Blogs, like our writing, like ourselves, evolve and develop and change over time. Maybe you just need to rethink your intentions and find out what you really want to be writing about.
I feel like I have gotten away from letting my words reflect my faith in the past few months. And that mostly has to do with the fact that I have grown apart for God over the past few months and haven’t been as diligent in my faith walk as I need to be.
I feel like I like the pace my blog is going, I like how it’s growing with me as I grow, but I don’t want to get too caught up in all of this. I don’t want to use it – and social media, especially – for validation.
In any event, I do love taking breaks from Twitter and sometimes blogging to clear out the noise and just figure out WHY I’m in a funk and how to get out of it.
Ah, we are so on the same page with this one! After disconnecting from social media while on vacation, I had many of the same feelings you described in this post. Sometimes social media can be so overwhelming. It’s good to take a step back and be in the moment….although I always find myself back on social media before I know it 🙂
Social media is a strange thing – I love and hate it simultaneously.
I am glad I am not alone with the feeling of getting overwhelmed on Twitter sometimes… I feel nobody responds to my tweets, there are conversations buzzing around me that I am not part of and I feel like quitting altogether.
On other days, Twitter and friendly conversations are what makes my day. I crave the connections that I’ve forged through Twitter and my blog and I feel left out if I stay away for too long. A break is nice though, because you can refocus and you know people will still be there when you get back.
best post I’ve ever read on blogging, hands down. I’m not a blogger, just a browser of blogs, and lately/sometimes/often find myself getting slightly appalled at the self-involved attitude that comes through in many–nay, most– blogs. love yr blog, by the way and pls keep writing those letter posts even if you get derisive comments. their problem, not yrs.