Hey, hey! It’s Friday and I have a fairly busy weekend ahead of me – a massage after work, girl’s night out tonight, a vet appointment for Eloise tomorrow morning, a writing date, game night with the fam, and my least-favorite holiday on Sunday. Whew! Will I be able to take a nap at all this weekend? Stay tuned!

I’m wrapping up this week with Friday Questions, which I got from the Real Talk Radio podcast. I love these questions! They really make me think.

1) What’s one fact or idea that you’ve learned recently that’s changed the way you think about yourself or the world in general?

I’ve been thinking a lot about climate change recently, mostly because our current presidential administration doesn’t seem to think it’s a thing. (All of the eye rolls.) The facts don’t lie, and if we don’t make major changes, things are going to be pretty scary in the future. So, I’m trying to do my part in whatever small ways I can and that mainly comes down to the trash I produce. I don’t think I’ll ever live a no-waste lifestyle but I am trying to be mindful of the small ways I can limit my waste. Like no longer using paper towels, or plastic baggies, or single-use wipes. I recycle as much as I can and work really hard to produce only one bag of trash a week. (I’d love to get this down to once a month but baby steps!) These are small steps, but it feels good to be making them.

2) Talk about a time when you really pushed your limits and impressed yourself.

This may seem like a small example, but it happened on Tuesday night when I attended a silent reading event hosted by a local literary organization in my city. I went with a friend, thankfully, because I do not think I could have had the courage to go alone. Leading up to the event, I was a wreck. I woke up with so much anxiety roiling through my body.

I am 100% sure I would have just driven right by the center and gone home if my friend wasn’t with me. But she was, so we found parking and nervously walked around the building to the front. Just opening the door to the center felt like an insurmountable task. I really wanted my friend to be the one to open the door, but since I was the one who invited her to come along with me, I knew I had to be the brave one. It was so scary! But I’m so glad I did it and pushed myself beyond what is comfortable for me. It was such a fun night and stuff like this helps me remember that I can do stuff that feels scary!

3) What’s one decision in your past that had you chosen differently, would have led you down a totally different path in life?

If I had decided to move forward with getting my degree in education. Instead, I decided to change majors when I was nearly finished with the program, and I am so glad I did. My life would be completely different if I was a teacher. (Though I’m not sure I’d still be one today.) I’d have different friends, different responsibilities, a different home. It’s weird to think about, honestly. I am so happy where I am today and what my career looks like right now, so I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had graduated with an education degree and become a teacher.

4) What’s one belief or opinion that you’ve done a complete 180 on?

Oh man, I used to be the staunchest pro-life supporter. Like, I was the person who would snidely respond to pro-choice supporters with, “If a woman doesn’t want to get pregnant, she should keep her legs closed.” Yeah. Look, I’m not proud of that and it hurts for me to even write that, but that’s my truth. (And, also, that’s what happens when you spend the first 18 years of your life in an evangelical church.) Thankfully, my opinion has changed dramatically after doing a lot of research and listening to women’s stories. Now, I’m staunchly pro-choice and I believe women should have control over their own bodies. I don’t believe you should be forced into celibacy if you don’t want to have babies. Sex is about a whole lot more than making babies.

But honestly, it’s amazing what happens when you break out of your bubble and just start listening. Once you start to pay attention and hear what women are saying, it can completely transform your worldview.

5) What’s one place in your city that you really recommend people to check out if they travel there?

Oh, I’d totally recommend Datz! It’s this funky little restaurant with the best food. You’ll probably want to skip lunch beforehand because you want to come to Datz starving and ready to eat a lot of good food. (Also, please throw out your diet for the night. You don’t want to think about calories here.) And, afterward, even though you’ll be totally stuffed from dinner, pop into Dough next door for a sweet treat!

What’s a place you often recommend for your city?

Hey, hey! It’s Friday and I am soooo looking forward to a really calm, relaxed weekend. It’s been a very busy April and I need this little break in the busyness.

Today, I’m continuing the Friday Questions series with a few more questions I pulled from the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast.

1) What’s working really well in your life right now, something that feels easy, vibrant, and flowing?

I don’t know if this is going to sound like a silly answer, but being a cat mom. I love being a cat mom. I love these girls of mine so, so much. They are the sweetest, silliest, snuggliest, most fun girls and they make me so happy. I love coming home to them every day because I usually find them sleeping on the couch, and they will get up and greet me. I love how Eloise sleeps next to me at night, and how Lila wakes me up multiple times by batting at my face. Everything about taking care of them makes me feel so good.

2) If you were given an unlimited amount of money to fix any problem in the world, what would you choose?

Homelessness and poverty. Reading Evicted by Matthew Desmond last year was really powerful for me, and I encourage everyone to read that book to really understand what it means to live in poverty and how the system consistently works against poor people, especially poor people of color. We should all have a safe place to live and a warm bed to sleep in. We should all have food on our table and to be able to care for our children. If I could funnel all of the money in the world to setting up organizations and systems that could help solve the crisis of homelessness and poverty, could you imagine how that would change our world? Man.

3) What’s one of the best gifts you’ve ever received?

When I was a freshman in college, I came home for the summer to find out my mom had gotten me a new bed. I was completely surprised because while I had complained about my bed to her (I was sleeping on a twin bed that I had had since I was tiny), I didn’t know she was looking into getting me something new. We were struggling financially then, so I didn’t expect to get a new bed unless I paid for it myself. The bed was a hand-me-down from a family member, and it was the sweetest surprise! I remember opening the door to my bedroom and my mouth dropping open in shock to see this beautiful full-size bed in place of my tiny twin. It was the best gift (especially considering my mom was still sleeping on a crummy daybed at that point, and she had every right to keep this new bed for herself). My mom’s the best, what can I say?

4) What’s one habit that you’ve been successful at adopting over the past few years that you’re proud of?

A recent habit I’ve acquired is taking vitamins, which doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but I’m always proud of doing something consistently. I’m vitamin D and iron deficient, so those are vitamins I need to be taking on a regular basis and I’m happy to report that I do now.

The problem with taking vitamins for me is that I can’t take them first thing in the morning. Taking vitamins on an empty stomach makes me nauseated. So, I needed to take them after breakfast, which I usually eat at work and that means I needed to bring my pills with me to work… and then remember to take them home on the weekends. Y’all, this is apparently way too complicated for me. Then, Lisa suggested taking them at night. Genius! What a simple hack. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.

Now, I take my vitamins with my dinner and rarely miss a day! I also keep my vitamins in one of those day-of-the-week pill containers that sits on my kitchen island so it’s always in my eyesight.

5) If you could have a hot fling with one fictional character, who would it be?

Oh goodness. Give me Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls. But I’d prefer the sweet Jess from A Year in the Life, not the angsty one from the series.

Who would YOU have a hot fling with?

Happy Friday! I have a busy but fun weekend ahead of me and hope to take advantage of the gorgeous weather we’ve been having in Florida. A friend invited a bunch of us over to her new house for a pool day and I’ll be doing game night with the fam on Saturday night. I can’t wait!

I have some more questions to answer from the “Community Questions” portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast. It’s been so much fun answering these! Let’s get into it:

1) What’s one change you made in your life that was really tough for you at the time but totally worth it in the end?

It was really hard to leave my previous job, even though I was supremely unhappy there. But it was comfortable and easy and I loved my coworkers, and it was really hard to leave that. I don’t even think I told my boss I was leaving. I just told her I needed to talk to her and then started crying, and she guessed it. Ha. Super professional of me.

The first few weeks months of my new job were terrifying. My social anxiety was at its peak since I was in an entirely different environment. I went from a 10-person company to a 50-person company! It was so scary to even go into the break room. And I was doing completely different work, from marketing to copywriting, so I always felt on edge.

Ultimately, though, it was the best decision I could have made because I’m five-and-a-half years into my current job and I still love it just as much as I did when I started. I don’t suffer from Sunday Scaries as I did at my old job, and I get to do work that is more suited to my skills and personality.

2) What helps you to stick with a long-term project or goal you’re working on?

I can’t focus on the long-term aspect of the goal, I have to break it into week-by-week stages. I think about what I need to do this week to get me closer to my overall goal. For my novel, it’s writing and editing one chapter a week. For my goal of working out 150 times this year, I plan out the three days I want to work out during the week (and consider if there are one or two other days I can add in to build a buffer). Breaking down a big goal into the tiniest chunks gives me the forward progress I need.

3) What’s something that a lot of people seem to do that you don’t do on purpose?

I don’t watch a lot of TV. I watch an episode (or two, if it’s a sitcom like Friends) a few times a week, which is why it takes me forever to watch one season of a show. It took me nearly five years to watch the entire Gilmore Girls series, an entire month to watch thirteen episodes of Grace & Frankie.

It’s really funny, though, because a few years ago when I had cable, my DVR was full of shows to watch. I had at least a few shows recording every day. And now that I don’t have cable and only rely on Netflix, I find myself less inclined to turn on the TV.

4) What advice would you give yourself five years ago?

I would have told myself that I needed to stand up for myself in my relationship. He was the first guy I ever loved and I thought we were meant to be, but he also wasn’t very kind to me. He moved the relationship much faster than I was comfortable with, but I figured *I* was the problem. I was new at this relationship thing, so maybe it was me that needed to change. I was also terrified of losing him if I spoke up. Oh, darling little Steph. I want to give her the biggest hug and tell her she’s deserving of so much more. And that, “more,” may not look like another relationship but of standing on my own two feet and being my full independent self.

5) How do you typically spend your evenings?

Typically, I come home, play with my cats for a little while, take a bubble bath, make dinner, watch something on Netflix while eating dinner, and then do my nighttime routine while listening to a podcast. (My nighttime routine involves washing the dishes, tidying my apartment, cleaning out the litter boxes, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and preparing my lunch for the next day.) It’s a simple evening routine, and I love it. 🙂

Tell me: what’s something a lot of people do that you don’t do on purpose?

Was this week super long for anyone else? Whew. I am just happy we made it to Friday, but it was a rough week for me. My mental health hasn’t been the greatest lately and Valentine’s Day is always a tough holiday for me (even though I wish it wasn’t), so I’m just happy I made it through and now I can focus on the weekend. It will be a good weekend, I hope, with the right amount of downtime and social time. I think part of my mental health struggles has been spending a little too much time alone, so I think this weekend should rejuvenate me.

Today, I’m continuing my Friday Questions series with five more questions from the Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!

1) Tell us some of the best advice that you’ve ever received.

“What is meant for me is already mine.” I saw this quote on an Instagram post a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. It reminds me that I won’t miss the things that are meant for me. I can’t pass them by. The soulmate I ache for, the book I want to publish, the travels I want to do… they will all be mine if they are meant to be mine. For someone who has an anxiety disorder and loves to worry about every little thing, this quote gives me so much peace. We are all on the path we are meant to be on, even when it looks vastly different than what we thought it would look like.

2) If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, what show would it be?

This one’s easy – FRIENDS! I have been rewatching the show recently (I never watched it straight through) and each episode makes me laugh and takes me out of my life for a bit. It’s a comfort watch, a show I turn to when I need to just forget everything for a while.

3) Of everything you’ve spent money on in the past few months, what’s the one purchase that’s made you the happiest?

This one is hard because I find it enormously difficult to buy things. A little bit of guilt or fear always accompanies my spending. I would like to say that the purchase that has made me the happiest is my flight to Ireland but I was actually really apprehensive to buy the tickets and I’m still very nervous about it. They’re good nerves but I wouldn’t exactly say I’m happy, at least not yet. Maybe when the trip starts to feel more real and we have more things booked. (And my credit card doesn’t look as scary as it does now, heh.)

But I think the purchase(s) that made me happiest (and yes, cheating a bit here) were my Secret Santa gifts. I ended up drawing the name of my girl, B, same as last year, so I had to really get creative with my gifts and find stuff that was different than my usual picks for her but that she would still love. And every time I found something for her, I felt so happy thinking about her reaction.

4) What’s something that only those in your close inner circle know about you?

I am pretty transparent on my blog and on social media, especially about my struggles, so I wasn’t sure exactly how to answer this question. I don’t keep too much to myself, but there are also a lot of things in my life that I’m not comfortable talking about online. For example, while I’m happy to talk about my dating life in broad terms, I don’t get into the nitty-gritty of it. I won’t talk about the dates I’m going on or the people I’m meeting because that feels a little too personal. I will vent about problems at work or issues with my family to my friends, but I keep both of those off my blog because it’s not the right place for it. So, while I try to be as transparent as possible online, I am not here to tell anyone else’s stories or air any dirty laundry.

5) What’s something you’re not doing or haven’t done yet because you’re afraid?

There is this cool literary group in my city that I’ve been dying to join, but my fear has prevented me from doing anything about it. My fear is two-fold: the fear of not being good enough and the fear of joining a new social group. They also run a silent reading event once a month and I desperately wanted to attend it this month. For weeks, I had saved the date in my calendar but when the day arrived, I chickened out. I’d love to join this group and get more involved in the literary scene in my city but damn if my fear hasn’t stopped me from doing anything more than glancing at their website and Facebook page every few weeks and wishing I had the guts to join.

What TV show would you pick as the only one you could watch for the rest of your life?

Happy Friday, my friends! I am so damn happy to see the weekend in my sights. There are a lot of changes happening at work, as they are reorganizing our seating arrangements. Luckily, I won’t have to move but there will be a lot of different faces seated around me, so that will be fun! (Currently, the writers are split into two different sections and they’re going to move us so we’re all seated together.) Today’s going to be a little crazy at work, though. Eeks!

I have another round of questions that I “stole” from Real Talk Radio. Nicole, the host, poses a set of questions to each guest, and the questions change from season to season. Here we go!

1) What’s one thing that’s on your mind for 2019?

I am really focused on my priority goal for 2019, which is to finally write my novel. I think I have let fear stand in my way of writing, and the knowledge that even if I do finish my novel, the odds of getting it traditionally published – and it being successful, even if so! – are very slim. When I was younger, I always just trusted that becoming an author was what I was meant to do because nothing else made sense. My mind was consumed with stories to tell, and I knew that was the reason I was put on this earth. And then I learned just how difficult publishing is to break into (and I’m saying this as a white woman, so my privilege is mind-boggling) and I just didn’t feel like I had “it.” That special something. That unique quality that would make it. Fear has been my constant companion on my writing journey and I’ve let my dream of writing a novel slip past me as the years go by. But becoming a published novelist only happens by trying. By doing the very unsexy work of sitting down and writing, even when it’s hard and even when my fears overwhelm me. I’m hoping to write a monthly update post to a) keep me accountable and b) demystify the writing process, so stay tuned for those!

2) What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

A little-known fact about me is that I am not a breakfast person. I do not salivate about brunch or enjoy most breakfast foods. If I could skip breakfast every morning without dying from hunger, I would. Alas, I cannot. And so I dutifully eat a carton of Greek yogurt and a protein bar every morning. Along with more than a few cups of coffee. My favorite thing to eat for breakfast, however, is a Starbucks latte with a sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich. The calories in that sandwich are so insane, but damn if it isn’t worth every single one of them.

3) What would you say is the biggest challenge or obstacle that you are facing right now, either personally or professionally?

I consider dating to be one of my biggest challenges. I was talking to a friend about it this weekend, about how I just want to get past the awkward first dates and will-he-ghost-me-or-won’t-he worries to the actual relationship part. The lazy mornings together and actually chilling while watching Netflix and inside jokes and having a person. I want that, but it requires a lot of work to get there, and I haven’t been willing to do that work. And I think it’s okay to not want to do the work. I’m in a season now where I do feel like doing the work. Messaging with guys on Tinder doesn’t feel like a chore; I’m excited about going on dates and meeting new people. But I know I will soon be thrust into a season where I hate everything about dating in the digital age and want to be alone forever. I go through those valleys more often than the “normal” person. It can be exhausting. And I won’t even get into the other issues that come up for me when it comes to dating someone. Suffice it to say, dating takes a lot out of me and it messes with my emotions, and most days, I don’t know if it’s worth it.

4) Which regular habit or behavior has most contributed to your happiness in recent years?

Listening to podcasts. I would venture to guess I spend 3+ hours every day listening to podcasts between my commute, working, and having it on while I’m doing things around my apartment. Podcasts have been instrumental in my life, helping me to feel less alone even on the days when I spend the majority of the time by myself. They educate me, inspire me, and make me laugh. I don’t really know what I would do without podcasts!

5) What’s one daily habit that you would love to develop or add to your life this year?

Drinking water every day. I hate that I even have this as a goal because I’m 31 – drinking water should be an ingrained part of my life. And yet, it is not and there’s nothing to it but to do it, you know? I can beat myself up for being so bad about drinking water or I can just admit this is a flaw and work towards bettering myself. I like the latter option personally. I have a tracking chart hanging up on my fridge where I can color in the day if I drank the requisite amount of water that day. So far, not every day is filled in but most of them are, and I’m proud of myself for that.

What’s a regular habit or behavior that has most contributed to YOUR happiness in recent years?