Happy Friday! It’s been a while since I did a Friday Questions post, so let’s answer some more of the questions Nicole posed on her Real Talk Radio podcast:

1) When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I spent a lot of my childhood thinking that I wanted to be a vet. I am an animal lover to my core, and I always figured that was the perfect career for me. (My first science class in college quickly abused me of that notion, though. I struggled through basic anatomy!) I also remember telling people I wanted to be an author. (One time, a family friend said, “You want to be Arthur?” as if they thought my goal in life was to be a cartoon aardvark, but I digress.)

2) When you’re getting to know someone new, what’s your favorite thing to ask them?

I know it’s a lame question to ask, but I love to ask what people do for a living. I know, I know. We are all so much more than our jobs, but it’s also what we spend most of our time doing during a typical week and I always find the answer enlightening. And some people have really cool jobs! People always want to know more when I tell them I’m a copywriter, and I’m happy to explain what I do.

I also like to ask people about the last great book they read, but it’s demoralizing to ask this on dating apps. Nobody reads! Argh. But maybe it should be my go-to question to ask to separate the men from the boys. 😉

3) What’s something you know now that you wish you would have known three years ago?

Man, probably that both of my grandparents would be gone. Hopefully, it would have pushed me to spend more time with them, ask more about their lives, and soak up their wisdom. And this is coming from someone who was super close with her grandparents! I guess it’s normal to live with those types of regrets, of just always wanting more time with the people you love. Have you heard of that company called StoryWorth that sends weekly emails to your loved ones with prompts so they can tell the story of their life and your family? I really wanted to do something like that with Pops; it was something I was thinking about purchasing for 2019, but now I can’t. It’s miserable having regrets, it really is.

4) What’s one non-negotiable thing that you have to do every day?

Reading. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes at the end of the day, I always make time for reading.

5) If I could hand you an all-expense trip for two, where would you go and who would you bring?

Oh, this is so easy because I’ve been dreaming and scheming about doing something like this for a long time now, and I just want to make it happen! I would take my mom on a two-week trip to Italy. We’d spend some of our time exploring the cities and the rest of it sailing through the Mediterranean on a cruise. I really need to get my butt into gear and start saving for this because I’d love to have this memory with my mom more than anything.

What’s your non-negotiable? Where would you go on an all-expense trip for two and who would you bring?

It’s time for the next installment of “Friday Questions,” where I work my way through the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast. There were some great questions in this round!

1) When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

Recently, when I started walking 10,000 steps daily. I’ve had to slow down on this goal because of the sacrum pain I’m experiencing whenever I attempt a 10k steps day, but I’m hoping some chiropractic adjustments to my lower spine will allow me to get back to my walking once again. I love it so much, and it is so good for my mental health.

2) If you could take a semester-long course in any subject, what would it be?

How to Write a Romance Novel? Haha, that would be super helpful as I go about finally finishing this damn romance I’ve been writing for years and years. I struggle a lot with plotting out a romance novel because there’s a specific way it needs to be done, and taking a course about writing romance would be great!

3) What is the biggest challenge or obstacle you’ve dealt with in the past year?

Losing Dutch. It’s been eight months now, and sometimes, I still think I’ll come home to him waiting for me at the door. Or laying on my bed when I come out of the shower. It’s been so hard to lose him because he was my best buddy for so many years, and he became even more important to me over these last few years as it was just me and him, living together. I relive the day we put him down often, and the emotions and grief and sadness feel unbearable sometimes. But I’ve been getting through it, moving forward, even taking steps to welcome some new pets into my life. And I have my mom’s dog, Chip, who has helped immensely with the healing process.

4) What’s one thing you can do today that you weren’t capable of a year ago?

I’m more confident in the decisions I make at work. I feel very capable in my role and I know what I’m doing, and I’m able to lead meetings and handle crises that come up with a skillfulness I didn’t have just a year ago. As someone who has never felt very confident in a work setting, I really love the assertiveness I’ve gained in my role.

5) What’s something you hope to be able to do a year from now that you’re not yet capable of or very good at?

I’d love to be able to open up to people more easily. I am very closed off to my feelings IRL, even though it seems I can word vomit like the best when it comes to my blog and online persona. But IRL, I find it very hard to open up and talk about the stuff that is bothering me. I mean, damn, even some of my best friends don’t know everything I’ve gone through with my dad, and that’s because it’s just hard for me to be vulnerable when I’m face-to-face with a person. It’s easier to wear my sarcasm shield and keep people at arm’s length.

What semester-long course would you take?

Hey, hey! Happy Friday! I am having my first slow weekend in WEEKS and I couldn’t be happier about it. I need a weekend like this because, for the past few days, my anxiety has felt a little unmanageable. Sunday will be a busy day with a Starbucks writing date and celebrating my brother’s birthday, but Friday and Saturday should be low-key and plan-free. Yay!

Today’s post is a continuation of the Friday Questions series, in which I answer questions Nicole poses to her guests on her Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!

1) If you could master any one skill, what would you choose?

I would love to learn how to be a better conversationalist. I am always so in awe of people who can have long and interesting discussions with just about anyone they meet because I sometimes struggle with keeping a conversation going even with close friends! I know it’s the “introvert way” to say we cherish deep conversations and hate small talk, and while that’s true for me, I also would love to be great at small talk. It would just be nice to be able to have a normal conversation with someone, without losing my words or having long, awkward silences.

2) How do you spend the first hour of your day?

Usually, it entails going for a 30-minute walk around my apartment complex so I can get my steps in and then getting ready for my work day. I’ll take a shower, decide if I want to blow dry my hair or not, do my makeup, and then pack my lunch and prepare my coffee. (Okay, so this is more like the first hour-and-a-half of my day, ha.) I’m very slow in the morning as I’m getting ready, as I’d rather wake up a little earlier and take my time getting ready than sleep in and have to rush around.

3) When you look back on the past five years, what do you feel most proud of?

I’m proud of building a happy, fulfilling single life. I am ridiculously proud of that. I have an active social life and a group of friends whom I’ve traveled with and who have carried me through some really tough times. I have a strong relationship with my mom and brother, and my mom remains my best friend to this day. I am financially secure and able to live on my own. I have a job that I enjoy and plenty of hobbies to keep me busy. My life may not include a partner at this moment, and it may not have the children I thought I’d have at this age, but that’s okay. It may never include a partner or children, and that’s okay, too. I’ve built a happy life as a single person, and that’s something nobody can take away from me.

4) What is one of your biggest fears or insecurities?

Since fears and insecurities are two separate things, I have a different answer for both.

My biggest fear is losing a close family member, like my mom or my brother. If I’m woken up in the middle of the night, my first thought is always that I’m having a premonition that someone has died. Which then leads me to a panic attack, which is always fun. The best thing I know to do to handle this fear is to just take deep breaths and remind myself if something tragic were to happen, I would be okay and I will get through it.

My biggest insecurity is my weight. I really, really wish I was someone who had high self-esteem and a positive body image, but I don’t because I live in a fat-phobic society that tells me daily that my body is not ideal. I’m really working on cultivating a better self-image, and not by being on a crazy diet to lose a bunch of weight. I just want to be happy with myself as I am today and not wrinkle my nose at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, you know?

5) What do you want to be known and remembered for?

I want to be known and remembered as someone who people trusted with their biggest thoughts and feelings. I want people to feel that they can come to me to be a nonjudgmental listening ear and to give good advice when they need it. I just want to be there for people and to know I served them in the best way I knew how.

What’s a skill you’d love to master?

It’s been quite some time since my last Friday Questions post – five months, in fact! So I am overdue in going through some of the terrific questions that Nicole asks her guests on her Real Talk Radio podcast. Below are five more questions, some of which required a lot of thought in coming up with an answer. Enjoy!

1) What’s a habit you’d like to break? What’s a habit you’d like to build?

I’d love to break my habit of needing chocolate after lunch and dinner. It’s not a craving, but an ingrained habit that I have found so hard to give up. My body just… like… expects it, or something. I’d like to save chocolate as something special a few times a week, not something I eat multiple times a day.

As for a habit I want to build, I’d like to work on implementing a skincare regimen on a regular basis. I have all of the products I need: cleanser, toner, moisturizer. Even a Clarisonic! But I struggle to get on a regular habit of morning and nighttime face washing. I use a makeup wipe every night to take off my makeup, but that’s about the extent of my face washing. Every now and then, I’ll get on a kick where I do the morning and nighttime skincare routine for a few days in a row, and then I fall off the wagon. It’s just… a lot of work? And sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s helping much. (I swear I feel like I break out more when I’m regularly using my Clarisonic than when I’m not.)

2) When you look ahead to the next couple of months, what do you feel most excited about?

Getting a kitten! My goal is to adopt one in either September or October, once my living room is finally all put together. (Hoping to shop some Labor Day sales for my new couch.) I’ve been having a lot of bouts of loneliness lately, the kind of loneliness that comes with being completely alone in an apartment for hours on end. I never felt that way when I had Dutch around because he was my little buddy who kept me company. So, I know it’s time for me to adopt a cat and have a little four-legged friend with me again. I cannot wait to enter the world of being a cat lady! Bring it on.

3) What’s something you do to inspire or encourage yourself when you’re feeling defeated?

It helps to step away from whatever is making me feel defeated. Is it my dating life? Delete the apps. Is it my writing? Work on something else. Is it social media? Take a break. Is it work? Find things outside of work to bring me joy and fulfillment.

I also think actually talking about it and speaking truth to my feelings of defeat helps to lessen its impact. When I’m feeling defeated because my anxiety feels unmanageable, I’ll get on Instagram Stories to say so, and the responses I get always make me feel better. Like I’m not the only person feeling overwhelmed by my own thoughts. Sometimes, talking about my lack of dating prospects or diet struggles with my friends helps me to see that I’m getting too in my head about things and that I am a lovely person whether or not I’m dating or losing weight.

4) What’s something you really love about yourself?

I love how funny I am! I’m the girl who is always making my friends laugh and keeping things light-hearted with jokes and sarcastic comments. I feel like my humor doesn’t really come across in my writing, but basically, all I do with my friends is tell jokes and make them laugh.

5) What’s a time when you quit something and it was absolutely the right decision?

When I decided to change my major from elementary education to communications. I was nearly done with my education degree (just had to do a semester of student teaching), but after failing a student teaching internship, I realized that teaching was not where I was meant to be and I changed my major. It was a hard decision at the time because it meant another 2-3 years of schooling, but it was the right move for me. I was able to graduate with a major that was much more aligned with my skill set and now I have a job that I really love. I don’t think I would have ever been happy as a teacher.

Tell me something you really love about yourself!

Happy Friday, friends. What a week, eh? It felt like an insanely long one for me. Work kept me busy and so did my evenings, with two after-work workouts and dinner with a friend. I’m very happy for Friday and hoping it’s that perfect mix of alone time and people time. (Last weekend involved a bit too much alone time. Womp.)

Today, I’m continuing my Friday Questions series using the community questions from the Real Talk Radio podcast. These are so fun to answer because the questions are so unique!

1) When you’re feeling stuck in a rut, how do you get yourself out of it?

I think it’s always helpful to try something new when I’m in a rut. Feeling bored with my food? Switch up the lunch or breakfast I bring to work every day. Feeling bored with my workload? Keep an ear out for new accounts and ask to be put on any new and interesting accounts. Feeling bored with my workouts? Try a different workout class or switch up the days I work out. For me, when I’m in a rut, it means I’m bored and everything I’m doing feels rote and unoriginal. But shaking up my routine in a small way really helps me to feel more excited about what I’m doing.

2) What does your life look like when you are practicing self-care and self-kindness?

Listen, I understand that “self-care” is now a buzzword that everyone hates, but sue me. I love it. Self-care is my jam and I realize it’s not always about bubble baths and sleeping in. For me, when I’m practicing my truest form of self-care, it means saying yes to plans but not too many plans (1-2 a week is all I need). It means regular exercise, cooking my meals instead of picking up fast food, and drinking more water than soda. It means having space in my schedule to read and blog. And yes, it means bubble baths and naps and having enough me-time.

3) When you think back over your life so far, what are you most proud of?

Ending my relationship with my father. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make and I spent years wondering if I made the right decision, but now I can say I did. I had to. He was a negative force in my life and while I’m sad about the way his life has turned out, I’m proud of standing up for myself and demanding more. I was only 22 when I made this decision, which is so damn young and I’m proud of that girl who made that tough choice because she knew she deserved better.

4) What’s one thing in your life that’s no longer serving you, and you need to let go of?

Oh, wow. What a question! Sometimes, I think it’s the novel I’m writing. Not that I don’t want to write fiction – I do – but I wonder if it’s just time to move on from the story I’ve been trying to write for two years. I have this internal resistance to it and I’m not sure why. Is it because it’s not the story I’m supposed to be writing? Or is this just part of the writing process and I need to get my butt in my chair and write. I don’t know. All I do know is that my writing partner might murder me if I tell her I’m scrapping this story idea for now.

5) What’s your favorite thing to give as a gift to someone else?

I love giving surprise gifts to friend – like emailing them a $10 Starbucks gift card when I know they’re having a rough day or week. Or sending them a little gift in the mail. Just something to let them know I’m thinking about them and love them. For birthdays, I tend to opt for gift cards, which I know some people feel is the “easy” way out and maybe it is, but damn if I don’t love to receive a gift card myself. It’s so nice to have a little “spending money” at one of my favorite stores, and I know my friends appreciate that, too.

What are you most proud of in your life?