Today is Lila’s birthday! She turns two today, so now I have two little toddler kittehs on my hands. 🙂 I’m not making the mistake of trying to bake a special “cat cake” this time around. Yesterday, I picked up a can of wet food to give the girls for breakfast today and some mini vanilla cupcakes for tonight, so we’re all set on the birthday celebration! Yay! I know I’m crazy about these birthday celebrations, but birthdays are so special to me!
Currently, Florida is in Phase 1 of reopening. We have reopened beaches, public pools, and state parks. Restaurants and retailers are also open at 25% capacity. Non-essential medical services have resumed. Bars, gyms, and salons are still closed. All schools are online for the remainder of the school year, visits to retirement facilities are prohibited, and travel is still highly discouraged.
I’ve been keeping a list of the reported cases in Florida (because I’m just that obsessed) and we’re still in the 500-1,000 range for daily reported cases. I can only imagine that’s going to increase with these reopenings, but we’ll see. Right now in my county, people can get tested for free, even if they’re not showing symptoms, which is a very good thing! We need this option to get an accurate look at how these reopenings are affecting cases. My plan is to stay away from restaurants, retail stores, pools, and my gym for the foreseeable future. Through May and probably also through June.
Salons and spas can reopen in Phase 2 and at 75% capacity (which sounds crazy high to me!), and that’s where I become less sure of what to do. My body is craving a massage and my hair is craving fresh color and trim, but none of these are essential needs. Of course they’re not! But if my hair salon opens up and my massage spa does as well, then I have some big choices to make. It’s really a wait-and-see game since we just started Phase 1. I know my salon is planning a soft opening when they do open up. (I’m not exactly sure what that entails just yet.) Thankfully, these aren’t decisions I have to make any time soon. Even if my salon/spa can open back up in May, I’ll probably wait until at least June to even think about scheduling an appointment. Or maybe later, depending on how this pandemic is looking with all these reopenings.
I’ve been saying this to people a lot, but I really think I’m going to need a gradual return to normal life when all of this is over. I’m still pretty anxious when I’m away from home. Last weekend, I went to a friend’s surprise birthday celebration (socially distanced, in a backyard, etc.), and I was out of my apartment for about two-and-a-half hours and I was wiped by the time I came home. I mean, part of it probably had to do with being outside (Florida, why must you be so damn hot in early May?), but I’m also not used to being social for that long anymore. I was strugglin’. My body has become very used to being at home and my mental health, too. I feel less stressed out, and I just love not having any plans and not feeling guilty for not having any plans. Don’t get me wrong—I miss meeting friends for dinner, spending time with my mom, and just strolling through TJ Maxx and Homegoods for nothing in particular. But it’s also really nice to be a full-on hermit right now, and my body’s going to need to slowly get back to its normal social pace.
I’m going to see my mom for Mother’s Day. I’ve thought long and hard about this decision, and it feels like the right choice. I need to see my mom. I’ve never gone this long without seeing her, and it feels unnatural. I also can’t imagine not visiting her on Mother’s Day. (And it’s a really hard day for her, too, ever since Grandma died.) We won’t be going to a restaurant or anything—we’ll order in and keep things as safe as possible. We’ve both been super careful over these past two months, neither of us is high-risk, and we’ve both been healthy throughout this pandemic. Could either of us be asymptomatic? Yup! We definitely could. But I truly believe we are both fine and we will be fine. Maybe you have strong opinions about this decision, but unless you also have been totally, completely alone since March, I don’t know if I’m interested in hearing them. If you’ve spent this pandemic with a partner or roommate or children, it’s hard to express how difficult it is to spend all day, every day without human contact or connection (unless it’s through video chats or social media, which is not the same). Humans are not designed for this level of seclusion, and it’s been hard on my mental health. I need to see my mom on Mother’s Day—and not through a screen.
My sleep has been a bit wacky for the past week, and I’m not really sure why. I’m taking 5mg of melatonin every night and meditating, but I’ve been having trouble falling asleep and then also waking up with panic in the middle of the night. And then Wednesday night, the girls decided to be all sorts of crazy. They were running all around the apartment and Lila kept jumping on me and gnawing on my fingers. It was the weirdest thing because they’re usually pretty calm and low-key at night. Sometimes I hear them playing, but it’s never enough to fully wake me up. There was also cat puke in my bathroom, ugh. Maybe they polished off my six-pack of White Claws and had themselves a night of debauchery?! 😉 Who knows? I hope I can start sleeping well again. I miss when sleep came easy for me!
I decided not to set any goals for May because I didn’t exactly kill it with my April goals. I think this is just a time to put my goals to the side. I mean, I’m living through a global pandemic. I think I’ve earned the right not to set goals! I want to try to keep up with my workouts and I’d like to devote some time to working on my novel (outside of my weekly Zoom writing date with my friend, M.), but honestly, that’s about it. And that’s enough for me.
So that’s where I am this week. My mental health ebbs and flows, and I feel like I’m on a downward trend right now. But that’s okay. It’s normal. I’m reaching out to my people, giving myself tons of grace, and letting myself feel all my feels. And that’s all I can ask for myself.
Tell me how you’re doing! Has your state/province started any reopening processes?
Happy Birthday Lila! Enjoy your vet food and cupcakes! And you 100% should be celebrated on your birthday and the other 364 days of the year because you are purrfect!
It’s interesting to hear what each state is doing. Do you know anyone who has tried to go to a restaurant? I wonder what that experience is like! I also wonder if with so many of us saying “I am going to wait longer” that the restaurants are still kind of empty at 25%?! Who knows!
I would totally be having the same salon dilemma. I really want to get my nails done but that is so not important. And like… really potentially unsafe. Polish at home it is, for now.
I am glad you get to see your mom this weekend! I know a few people going to see their moms (same city/area) and they were all VERY excited and I was excited for them! It will be such a treat.
I agree it will take a while to ease back in to being social and around people. We get used to what we are used to! And it’s been nice (to an extent) not to have plans and obligations. This is horrible, but I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I hate being too busy.
Our reopening plan was posted this week and we are in phase 2 of 5. So non-essential retail and stores are open for curb-site pickup and delivery. And state parks and golfing and pet grooming is open. In phase 3, manufacturing, offices, retail, and salons can open, but only gatherings of 10 or fewer are allowed so I am wondering how that works for manufacturing… and offices… and retail. Restaurants and bars reopen in phase 4. And travel and child care and schools. And they have measures to meet to move in to each phase. Everything reopens in phase 5 when we have a vaccine or cases are eliminated.
I think it’s a good idea to see your mom this weekend. We have seen Phil’s mom twice – she came over to our house and we spent most of the time in the backyard. There was no hugging or holding Paul, though, and we just kind of kept our distance. But she lives alone, too, which is so lonely. She has our cat which helps but it’s not the same. I felt pretty comfortable seeing her since I barely leave the house, Phil only goes out for groceries and to work where he sits in his own office – not an open floor environment. But now that Paul is back in daycare, I am nervous about seeing Joan again. She wants to see Paul around her birthday later this month and it just makes me nervous. What is Paul gets to close to her? She’s over 70 so we just need to be really careful.
Totally makes sense to give yourself a break from goals right now. I say you opt out of anything that isn’t bringing you comfort and joy and making life better right now. We are living in weird/difficult conditions so self care and focusing on things that bring you good feelings is important.
We are still on a pretty full shut down. You can do curb-side pick up at retail stores but I wonder how successful that is? I can’t imagine going to a restaurant until we have vaccine honestly. I wouldn’t want to sit there with a mask on and be served by someone with a mask on. So we will stick to take out for now until things feel safer. Our case counts are still on the uptick, too. We have expanded testing so case counts have risen but at least we are getting an idea of who has COVID.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILA! I hope the cupcakes are a hit (if your cats are anything like mine, the wet food will be a winner haha).
Hope you have a good visit with your mom <3
I’m with you on the needing a gradual return to normal life thing. We’re also starting to reopen here although our situation is…very different. We have had 120 total cases…118 recovered and no deaths. There are a lot of things that have led to this, so it’s not comparing apples to apples. And there’s also a lot of awareness that this was just the first wave. That said, while I have, in many ways, adjusted to things the way they are now and I’m not in a rush to go out and try to resume life as it was before, I am looking forward to seeing some of the restrictions loosened (and I’m praying it won’t result in things moving backwards).
I totally understand your need to see your Mom. I hope you had a really nice time together.
The sleep stuff SUCKS. I’m sorry. Hopefully it is, like, a moon cycle thing and it will end soon.
Happy birthday, Lila! I think it’s wise to not set any goals… it feels like with everything up in limbo still (even if things start to reopen, we should give ourselves and not put extra pressure on the situation.)