Two months ago, something unspeakable happened. My mom, two-and-a-half months into marathon training, was hit by a car at 6 a.m. during a morning run. She was running on the sidewalk, crossing a parking lot. The people who hit her got out to see if she was OK. She said she was and walked the half-mile home. (I’m not going to even attempt to mention how angry I am with the people who hit her, knowing she was bleeding and had a head wound, letting her walk away from this. They didn’t attempt to make her stay or give her any of their information. OK. I mentioned it. These people are jerks.)
I don’t even think I realized the impact of how badly my mom had been hurt. I mean, sure, there was blood everywhere and I was scared out of my mind. All I kept thinking was that she was coherent and walking. Her injuries weren’t that severe. She wasn’t dead.
I remember the night she was hit. We had been at the hospital for 5 hours and after a scary dizzy spell on our way into the apartment, Mom was home and feeling OK. I went out to get us dinner (comfort food = Chick-Fil-A). I put on a worship CD, put it on full blast, and sang my heart out on my way to and from the restaurant. When I got home, I sat in the car and just cried. Cried with sadness at what my mom has been through, cried with gratefulness that she was alive, cried with thankfulness at how awful this night could be, my first night living without my mother.
My mom couldn’t do much when she came home, or even that first month for that matter. She was dealing with a laceration around her eyebrow, needing 17 stitches. Major, deep cuts and scraps on both palms, elbows, and knees required constant application of antibiotic ointment and non-adhesive bandages. A sprained thumb with a lifeless fingernail (the fingernail is toast, but she’s still waiting on it to grow back.) And a fractured elbow. The elbow is what caused us the most trouble. She had to wear it in a sling for 6 weeks and see an orthopedic for follow-up x-rays. Luckily, it healed just fine but was just more of a pain than anything. (She still can’t stretch out her arm fully and causes her pain to twist the arm around at the wrist. She may never have full mobility of it.)
The first week was the most difficult. My mom needed my help with a lot of things, from washing her hair to opening a soda bottle, and was also dealing with a lot mentally. She was feeling stupid for leaving the scene of the accident, something which I fault the driver for. (Hello! How do you leave a woman with blood running down her face and let her walk home? I would think she wasn’t right in the head!) Lawyers for car accidents investigate the cause of the accident and will defend their client’s rights. She was feeling major sadness for not being able to run and thinking her marathon in January was going to be a no-go. She was feeling fear, having just been through a traumatic experience. She went back to work the Tuesday after her accident, even though she probably should have taken a few more days off. She’s a woman who thrives on being busy and sitting home, alone with her thoughts, was not good.
I had to do a lot in the past two months. All the driving, all the cleaning, all the cooking, all the laundry…all the things my mom was doing. I had no idea she did so much for me, while I’m satisfied sitting around. Sure, I can blame working and schoolwork and my internship as reasons why I sit around, but that’s not enough. I need to take a more active role in the housework.
In just the past two weeks, my mom has really gotten a lot of her life back. She was able to take the sling off and do more with her left arm. It still hurts to use it too much but is a lot more mobile than before. She’s driving again, which makes me very happy. (She still doesn’t understand that we don’t have a brake on the passenger’s side of the car. And gasping every time a car drives by me is a little distracting.) She’s back to doing work around the house, which makes me more certain that I can’t let her do everything again. Just this weekend, I told her that I was “glad to have my cleaning-at-midnight-mom back.”
The biggest change is that she’s running again. She had to take 6 weeks off running, which throws off her training completely. (Sunday, she was scheduled to run 16 miles.) Two weeks ago, she was given the green light to resume running. While she had been walking for a few weeks prior, even walking in two 5K’s, it was running that she wanted to do. Running fuels her passion. Two weeks ago, we headed to a park to do some running. I made it half a mile before stopping. My mom made it 3. Three miles. I couldn’t even believe it! She was feeling really down about not being able to run and having a few people tell her how crazy she was for trying to run a marathon, and this run really helped her find her mojo. She wants to add 1 mile a week, which means she’ll be up to 13 miles by January. It’s not the 20 that she needs to be at, but I told her that it’s not the only marathon she’ll ever run. And the fact that she’s still getting out there and running and training for this marathon speaks volumes to me. She’s amazing. She’s a fighter. She’s my mom.
What a journey and an amazing woman! She's going to totally rock the marathon in January and she's got a great daughter to support her.
I just LOVE how much you adore your mom. it makes me want to go give my own mum a hug. 🙂 I am so glad she's doing better!
I must admit, though, I found it funny that she seems to think that there is a brake on the passengers side of the car…I'm going to start driving soon, so I suppose I'll be getting the "backseat driver" [as my family and I call it], whenever I take my Mum somewhere. Haha. 😉
Blessings,
~Laura
Your mum is incredible!! I have so much admiration for her strength and determination and that's nothing short of amazing that she did 3 miles then and there. I still can't even hit two!!
I can't understand why anyone would let her go, especially after the highly publicized death of Natasha Richardson, after what was thought to be a slight bump on the head.
I'm sorry for what happened to your mom, but I'm glad that she seems to be working towards recovery.
Oh my goodness Stephany, what an ordeal! I'm so glad that she's able to take those small steps towards fully living her life again and is on the mend! <3
So glad to hear she's doing better – she IS a fighter!
I'm glad she's doing so much better! Kudos to her for getting back out there and running. Just amazing!
My mom and I were in a car accident the day before my wedding and it was totally the other peoples' fault. I was so angry with them for SO long because the person driving should not have been allowed on the road. I remember thinking every day how mad I was at them and it chewed me up inside.
It does get better. I will never totally be over that accident but I know I'm thankful that my mom and I weren't more hurt. And I'm so thankful your mom came out of things okay too!
A lot of progress! This post makes me happy, Stephany!
Aw, I love this post! Your mom is so lucky to have you and vice versa. 🙂 I admire for your mom getting back to running even though some people would have been scared to run again especially after an accident like this. I can't believe the people who hit her didn't offer to help or call 911 and have her stay there. I know I would always stay especially because this happened to me before. I wrote a post about it last year when it happened & it's password-protected because not everyone knows about it so email me for the password if you want to read it.
You and your mom both are an inspiration to me! 🙂
that is so scary! I am glad that is ok…that is soo hard to deal with…remember that what goes around comes around and the car that hit her will be served justice that they deserve!
So glad that your mom is doing so much better and getting back into running. She sounds amazing!
Steph,
I read what you have written about your Mom and she doesn't sound like the person I knew 20+ years ago.She has such strength and passion and I am so sorry for her accident. I am so thankful that you two have such a wonderful relationship. Cherish this special bond and tell her hello for me, take care and God Bless You Both!
I'm so glad to hear your mom is doing better. And she's back to running!
Wow. I cannot believe this whole thing. Especially the part about the driver leaving. But you are right not to focus on that.
Your mom is amazing for recovering so quickly. And… this may not be helpful, but I had to take about 6 weeks off before I started marathon training. I trained in 3 months. It's possible! I don't think she should give up yet!
She's incredible–and such a fighter. I'm glad she's healing, and that you two have each other to push through the hard times. That's priceless, and I'm excited to see where she goes from this.
Steph,
This post amazes me! I adore your writing and how much emotion it evokes. It is so real. This has obviously been a traumatic experience, but you are right about how it could have been so much worse. The relationship that you have with your Mom is so Beautiful! I hope to one day share this with my Daughter. Thank you for continuing to share your journey.
-Shannon Sunn
This is so scary. SO SCARY. What kind of morons let a bleeding woman walk away from A CAR ACCIDENT? She was obviously injured… were they just scared? Were they THAT SELFISH? This makes me so angry. I'm so glad she's all right…