I have gone back and forth on whether or not I want to detail my weight loss journey again. On the one hand, I know it is so helpful for me to talk about how I’m doing, where I’m struggling and succeeding. But on the other? I feel like a broken record, continuously recommitting to a healthy lifestyle only to falter a few weeks in. But I decided I’m just going to jump in and start back with weekly recaps of my weight loss journey. Knowing I have to show up every week with a post and update helps keep me motivated and on track.
I have no real plan for how I’m going to talk about my journey. I want this to be more of a stream of consciousness, what I think I need to get out of my system so I can focus on beginning a new week with a plan.
Today, though, I want to talk about why I’m doing this. I don’t want to think about my other failed attempts at losing weight but I want to focus on now, on December 2012, and why I want to lose weight.
I’m doing this because I want to look at my body and feel strong. And skinny. Yes, I’ll just say it. I want to be thin and not in a scary-anorexic way but in a fit way. In the way I was back in the summer of 2007 when I had collarbones and tiny shoulders and my thighs didn’t rub together. Where I could run two miles, NBD, and looked in the mirror and be proud of my reflection. I look in the mirror now and grimace at how far away 2012 Stephany is from 2007 Stephany. I want to feel strong when I look in the mirror. I want to recognize my accomplishments and that comes from adhering to a healthy lifestyle and committing to a regular exercise routine.
I’m doing this because it’s been a goal of mine for so long. I have been trying to lose weight and failure after failure grates on me. I’m slowly learning not to base my self-worth on my pants size but it’s hard. It’s one of my biggest regrets of 2012 – that I let myself go in the weight department and am at a point where I now need to lose 50 pounds. When I first started trying to lose weight, I only had 30-35 pounds to lose. And now I’m at 50. I don’t want that number to crawl up to 60 or 70 or 75. I want to commit to the process now and I want 2013 to be a transformation year for me.
I’m doing this for my long-term health. While I don’t have any complications as of yet, I know if I continue on this unhealthy path, it’s only going to cause problems in the long run. Do you know I was terrified of being told I had diabetes when I got blood work done in September? That’s not a normal reaction for a 24-year-old girl to have! I shouldn’t be worried that I’ll wind up with weight-related health problems while getting blood work! Thankfully, my blood work came back normal.
I’m doing this for vanity’s sake. Because I don’t want to worry every time someone looks at me and then my stomach, that they’ll ask if I’m pregnant. Because I want to wear all my “skinny” clothes that have been sitting in the top of my closet for years now. Because I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and feel good about my reflection. Because I’m tired of feeling fat and all the horrible emotions that feeling dredges up.
I’m doing this because I have been inspired by the weight loss journeys of others. People who have found a way to lose weight and keep it off successfully. Who have completely transformed their worlds and the way they view healthy living. I want to be like my mom and Jessica and Amber and Kelsie. They have inspired me. They have motivated me. They have shown me it can be done.
And I will get it done.
Starting Weight: 166.6 lbs
We’ll be here cheering you on the whole way. YOU CAN DO IT! 🙂
Good luck! I’ll join you in January! I just don’t think I have it in me to make any real changes in December.
I will be waiting! I knew I had to just start now since I don’t have too many parties/get-togethers to worry about and I am ready. If I can lose a few pounds in December, it will all have been worth it!
I totally believe in you. You can do this!
I KNOW you can totally do this. It might seem like a scary number now, but you’re gonna feel so ridiculously accomplished when you get to your goal- and I KNOW you will. The best part is you’ve got your mom as inspiration for you every day. You know that she was able to make this crazy change & keep it up. Why don’t you guys ever train together? Opposite schedules? Anyway. I’ve been feeling kind of sad about my lack of exercising since coming home from Europe. I want to make time for it next semester amid the crazy because I haven’t been feeling like my fit-self anymore. It’s not a good feeling. I will try and motivate you as we both try and get back into a healthier routine! It’s so important in the winter too. Okay this comment is getting rambly But you totally got this. 😀
My issue isn’t really with exercise because I get in about 4 days a week. I would like to get up to 6 days/60 minutes but with my ankle injury, I just started back with different exercises (before I could only use the stationary bike). Whenever I go for a run, I do go with her but I really don’t like running with other people so we kinda do our own thing. Plus, she’s wayyy faster than me!
Our problem (both my mom and me) is food. We both have raging sweet tooths!
You can do it! I think writing about your journey will probably even help. Good luck!
I’m totally confident in you! You’ve got this! 🙂
I also wanted to share that weight is only part of the problem with type 2 diabetes. You actually have your activity level lending itself to your advantage, because you still workout even though you’re overweight. Plus the genetic component is often unmentioned. If there aren’t any type 2s in your family, then your risk for it goes way down. Even though it’s way more common in 20somethings now, it still isn’t THAT common, so I don’t think you need to worry about it.
Yay! I have to say I have much respect for you to put everything out here for us to read about. Falling off the wagon happens occasionally and even though it’s in our nature to project a perfect image, I find it refreshing when people are honest about what’s really going on in any situation. I will be cheering you on! I know you can do it and stick to the healthy changes 🙂
Well, thank you! I always worry people are rolling their eyes at me as they see ANOTHER weigh-in post about how I’ve screwed up. Which some people may be doing, but it’s nice to have the support and motivation to keep at it since I know I’ll have to come here and tell people how I did!
You can do this, Steph! I will be your cheerleader! *yells, kicks leg, doubles over in pain, maintains spirit fingers*
You have it in you! You just need to make realistic goals because it’s so easy to get disappointed in yourself if you slip a little. I think you have written before about some of your target foods, so you are already on the right track with identifying where the issues are and trying to focus on them. We are rooting for you! Good luck!
It’s a journey, not a destination, right? Reading through this post, I can see how far you’ve come already.
You can do it! I need to recommit too.. This fall has worn me out and I’ve gained about 5 pounds since my marathon and I’m about 10-12 pounds heavier than my “happy weight”. It’s been really hard for me this fall with SO MANY food-centred events through work. I have started tracking through my fitness pal though just to be more aware and I’m going to get serious about weight loss and possibly trying weight watchers once our campaign is over!
You know I highly recommend Weight Watchers! It’s such a good program for recognizing behaviors and portion control and all that jazz. Being around food-centered events would be very tough for me so luckily you still have exercise to combat it!
Thank you so much for including me as someone who has inspired you! It means the world to me.
You can totally do this!!! Let me know if I can support you in any way…happy to share my story and what worked for me 🙂 Like Amber mentioned, it’s an ongoing struggle. I’ve fallen off a bit too and am trying to get back on track.
You are so welcome! Your journey really inspired me. 🙂
I may be hitting you up with an email sometime in the future! I would love to hear what worked for you to lose the weight and keep it off. Thanks for the support!
Good luck lady! You are going about this for all the right reasons. Just be patient with yourself. You have all the tools you need to accomplish your goal, and I know you can do it!