You know how when you watch The Biggest Loser, the second week is always the bad week? They gain, maintain, or lose only a pound or two. It’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Contestants know this week is notorious for bad numbers on the scale.
The second week when I start making the intention to be healthier is always the bad one for me. My first week, I am full of momentum and motivation to stick to my plan and I feel great and in control. Then the second week hits and suddenly, I have pitched myself off the healthy wagon and am rolling, rolling, rolling down a mountain of unhealthy and bad decisions.
I want to be an all-around healthier person. I don’t want my focus to be on calorie counting or numbers on the scale. I want to embrace intuitive eating and discover what unhealthy habits I need to kick to become the fit, strong girl I know I can be. It’s not so much about being skinny and hating who I am because I’m overweight. It’s about becoming stronger, becoming healthier, and loving who I am because I make good choices – not because of external factors.
I want to stop being ashamed of my body.
It’s easy to look at the long road I have ahead of me and get so overwhelmed that not even starting feels easier. I know I have the desire and the power to lose all this weight, but I also know all my problems don’t begin and end with being overweight. I think, as I go through this journey, I will begin to be proud of the accomplishments I rack up and the changes I see and feel in my body and my mind but I also know that being overweight does not mean there is anything wrong with me. (And this is where The Biggest Loser fails a LOT.) Does it mean I’m lazy and unambitious? Not in the least! I’ve fallen into this habit of I’ll do this when I lose weight and waiting on that for when I’m thinner and feel better about myself. And by putting things off and being ashamed of what I look like, not celebrating who I am, I am missing out on the brilliant pieces of life.
Do I want to lose weight? Yes. Because I am unhealthy. But I also know I could be unhealthy if I was skinny and fit into those size two jeans with no issue. It’s not about sizes. It’s about overall health and wellness. It’s not about fad diets or writing down every single morsel of food I eat. It’s about understanding nutrition, using foods as fuel, and eliminating the junk that is weighing me down (pun?).
And it’s about focusing on the positives. Like the fact I drank more water than soda this week. And I worked out five days. I ate healthy breakfasts and lunches. Baby steps. I know there’s this crazy idea that the clock strikes midnight, a new year is upon us and suddenly, we are changed people and none of our past behaviors will stay with us in the new year. Load. Of. Baloney. I’m not giving up on my resolutions. I am not giving up on those 50 lbs I want to lose, that 5K I want to train for, or the fact that I want to completely give up soda. Sure, I hit a speed bump this week but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Every week, every day, every hour is a new chance to get back up and try again.
I’m going to keep trying. The other option is to quit and my dreams are worth way more than that.
Starting Weight: 166.6 lbs
Current Weight: 164.8 lbs (down 1.0 lbs this week!)
Weight Lost Total: 1.8 lbs
Nice work on putting up another loss! You are right – this journey is about more than losing the weight. And there is most certainly nothing wrong with you or anything like that! Keep up the good work and celebrate the successes along the way! That is awesome you drank more water than soda!!
Thanks for all the support, Lisa! There is so much more to this journey than losing weight. It’s the whole “lifestyle” spiel I’ve heard time and time again. It can’t be a diet. It has to be actual changes I make for the benefit of healthiness, not the benefit of skinniness.
Oh, I’m so sorry Steph! That backside is the worst – it’s so hard to get back on track. I’ve been good with the soda amazingly but I’m still struggling with chocolates. They aren’t even that satisfying to me, I’d much rather have real food. But they’re there, and if they aren’t I’m just thinking about how nice a piece if chocolate would be. And then I have no cut off switch so one chocolate turns into handfuls…
Just think of every day as a new day. You want to do the very best you can, but if something happens you have the power to pick yourself up and move in instead of dwelling. One day at a time!
I haven’t had a soda since Saturday night! 5 days strong so far. I really think I’m going to master it this time around. I think I needed all those past failures to remind me how much I want this. And, honestly, that’s all I’m focusing on. Consistent exercising and not drinking soda. I’m probably eating too much junk, but baby steps. Don’t get too hard on yourself for eating too much chocolate (is that even a thing?!), just focus on all the good work you HAVE done already this year! Giving up soda is a HUGE accomplishment!
Hey, a number down is a number down. It all adds up in the end! Just stick with it and you’ll hit your goals in no time!
Oh, believe me, I am THRILLED about losing a pound! I totally thought I would gain so seeing that loss was really great. 🙂
That’s great! I’m down 2.4 pounds since I started on Jan 1st so I’ll take that as a win. I’ve been working out and have cut back on my food big time and added a ton of healthy stuff when I do eat so I’m hoping that I can keep it up (of course chocolate cravings are killing me!!!)
Congrats on YOUR weight loss! 2.4 lbs down is definitely a win!