Last week was crazy. CRAZY! I really don’t want to have to live through another week like that ever again. It was just too insane.
Anyway, here’s some of the “fun” that happened this week.
I missed you guys!
Taking a break from blogging was exactly what I needed for this week but I missed it more than I thought I would. I missed writing my blog posts, publishing them, and checking my phone a million times a day to see if anyone had commented. I missed reading blogs and commenting. So I’m super stoked to be back and hopefully, I won’t have another week as crazy as this one was.
Also, I changed my layout this weekend and for some reason, Disqus has not been working for me. I cannot get any comments to show up. I’ve probably run through their installation system 10 times to get comments to show up to no avail. I sent a service request so we’ll see what happens. Right now, I’m back to the old Blogger commenting system. (But no word verification! See? I’m nice!) I’m just really confused and annoyed by all of this.
My “dad” wrote back.
I got a message on my phone on Friday, while I was over at my brother’s. The good thing is, I read the e-mail out loud while my brother and my mom listened. So I’m really glad I didn’t have to read that e-mail alone. Because it was an awful e-mail. Once again, he took no responsibility and laid it all back on my shoulders. He told me to stop using him as a “crutch” for why I cannot have a good relationship with a guy, tried to take credit for raising me (the way my brother and I turned out had to do 75% of US and 25% of my mom. 0% of him. We turned out the way we are IN SPITE of him), and didn’t once say “I love you” or “I’m sorry.” Oh, and he also talked about the great relationship he had with my mom. (Go ahead, laugh. I did!)
I have plans to write him back and the e-mail I write back to him will not be anywhere near as nice. I tried to leave the door open for him to have a relationship with me and he firmly shut the door in my face. I’m giddy with excitement of everything I’m going to write to him. No sugarcoating and no sweetness is going into this letter. It’s going to be blunt, mean, and scathing. I just want to give myself a few days to calm down from the e-mail so I know exactly what I want to say.
And after that e-mail, it will be over. I’m done. I’m fed up with him and his lack of responsibility. And I’m just tired of it all.
A project, a paper, and a monster test.
This week was, by far, one of the busiest I’ve ever experienced. And I know it doesn’t seem like a lot. I know I’ve had more due in one week but none of this caliber. The project took hours to complete, using InDesign, a program I’ve never had any experience with until a few weeks ago. So my designs feel like kindergarten scribble compared to some of my other classmates. And I got the extreme pleasure of having my newspaper frontpage critiqued by my professor and classmates. Luckily, the critique wasn’t as bad as I expected and I do get to fix my mistakes and resubmit the project.
The paper, with which I did 4 live interviews and 2 e-mail interviews for, was probably one of the worst I’ve written. I wrote it in under an hour and was just trying to get it done, somewhat edited, and sent by Tuesday night. It was for my News Editing class and the head of the journalism department is my professor. Needless to say, I’m pretty certain he wasn’t all too impressed with it.
The monster test took up most of my week. I spent the weekend looking through the study guide and finding the answers and then Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday night studying my notes. And I’m a terrible studier. I just can’t sit there and study for hours and hours. So I headed into Thursday (test day) very uncertain of my study materials. I ended up taking Thursday morning off work and met with a friend from class before the test where we studied together for 2 hours. And it was SO helpful! I realized I knew a lot more than I previously thought and ended up going into the test feeling very positive. And I think I did better than expected on the exam.
Exhaustion and sickness.
I ended up catching some kind of bug starting on Sunday. It started with a scratchy throat which morphed into an annoying sore throat. Then I got the snifflies and a cough. The sickness was bad enough. But let’s add in exhaustion. Extreme exhaustion. Exhaustion where I’m a little frightened to drive because I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open. I think my tiredness had to do with the 4-5 hours of sleep I was getting a night, the bug, and just feeling completely worn out and run down.
There were so many days I just wanted to come home and sleep for hours. But I couldn’t and drank way too much Coke to try to keep me awake. (I’m more of a Coke girl than a coffee girl when it comes to caffeine.)
Glad to have you back in the blogging world!
I still can't believe it, the whole situation with your dad. But hopefully you'll be more at ease once you can answer him & hash out all those feelings. You deserve to tell him exactly how you feel! And he needs to hear it.
Whew! I'm tired just reading about your week. If I were you, I would just be done with your dad…who cares at this point? He isn't upset about it so why should you be? I know…that's much easier said than done.
PS! Love the layout!!!
I really like the new layout!
I'm a new reader and not sure about your past relationship with your father, but I can relate. I haven't spoken to my father since I was 13. We've traded some pretty horrific letters back and forth (more on his part). When I was 18, if he tried to contact me via letter I wrote "return to sender" on it without reading it. My life is 100% better without my father in it. Making that decisions to completely cut him out of my life wasn't easy, but it was totally necessary.
1. So glad you're back!
2. I'm sorry the email back was horrible and I know first hand how tiring it is to put effort into something, be the mature party in the relationship only to have the parent act like a child and accept zero responsibility for anything. I did the same thing with my mum a few months ago – wrote a heartfelt email, left the door open for her to get in touch with me… and I got a response similar to yours. Blaming everyone but herself and accepting zero responsibility and making sure I felt like everything was MY fault. It's just not worth it, and it's painful – but sometimes just acknowledging that you've done all you can, and accepting that this person is a negative force who your life is better off without, for the time being. I'm sorry sweetie. I hope you feel better soon. *Hug*
So glad to have you back! I'm really liking your new layout; it gets me in the mood for spring!
I'm so sorry to hear what a crappy response you received from your dad. Even though what he said probably doesn't surprise you much, considering his track record, I know how much you hoped for a change of heart in him. As hard as it will be to be done with him, you can only take so much negativity and pain, and if that's all he's ever going to bring to your life, you're much better off without him. I do hope that one day he will realize what he's missing out on and reach out to you.
I hope that you're feeling better. My hubby got sick last week, and a few days later, I woke up with a sore throat and it all went downhill from there. I'm starting to feel better but I'm still congested, blah!
I love your new blog layout!
Sorry to hear about your dad's email 🙁 I know it's hard, but it's just time to put him OUT of your life I think!
Hope you're feeling better soon! This week is one of those CRAZY weeks at school for me with a whole bunch of due dates and midterms and I have NO motivation to do any of it :S
That's sad about your dad…I think you're right in telling him off and then writing him off, even though I know it's hard. Hope you have a better, less eventful week.
I'm definately loving your new blog layout. I'm sorry to hear about your dad but think you're a strong person for pushing forward. Remember to take time to breathe and sleep in between all the busy-ness.
Sorry things didn't go well with your dad. I'm sorry for him that he doesn't realize what a wonderful girl he has for daughter. Just surround yourself with the people who love you like your mom and your brother, God and Jesus, and try not to think about people who are being stupid and immature. You're such a nice girl and you shouldn't have to listen to someone talk to you that way. I don't understand how a parent can not want a relationship with their child. That just baffles me. I've had to deal with it with my own dad :/. I'm sure it has been something very hard for you to go through, but think about how great of a parent you will be because of it. I think you're going to be an amazing mom someday 🙂 You have too good of heart. I hope this week goes better for you and you have time to breathe and relax! PS-I love your new layout. You always have the cutest layouts!
Sorry about your dad 🙁 Sucks. You are a great person, no matter what he says, take comfort in knowing that you are where you are, and who you are, because of your hard work. No one handed you anything, and that's really awesome, in my opinion.
PS- Love the new Layout!!
Welcome back! Sounds like it was a good thing you didn't have blogging with all the sickness and busyness.
It sucks that your dad reacted that way, but I'm glad you're going to stand up for yourself.
I think the reply was a good thing. Not because he said anything helpful (coming across more and more like a massive douche) but because you proved to you, your brother and your mother that you're stronger than this situation. It takes a LOT of strength to compose the e-mail and send it out there. But what can be even harder is the taking the reply and not crumbling at the fact that you got an answer at all. You, missie, have a bunch to be proud of for what you've been doing.
Girl, what a week! Sounds like it's been a tough one. But I know just by reading a little of your blog that you're tough 🙂
My heart breaks for your situation with your dad. I'm praying for you, that God would heal your heart and give you the words to say.
You're one awesome girl! Keep on going 🙂
I'm glad you are back in blogging. I am sorry about the response from your Dad but I think you are smart to say everything you want to say and then be done. It's not worth your time, energy and caring. You can put that towards those in your life that deserve it and provide you with love and support in return.
Glad you're back! Love the new layout. 🙂
SO happy for the email you're planning to write. I think it'll be just what you need.
Sigh. at least you have seen your dad's true colours and can finally move on.
I remember you mentioning how worried you were about this assignment! Glad it's over now (I actually really enjoyed working with InDesign – it's awesome!) Sometimes despite your best efforts, your work doesn't come out the way you hoped for. But at least you handed it in.
Well, look at you with a brand-new layout! Very nice. Sorry about your dad. But, you knew he was a jerk so the fact that he wrote something jerky at least wasn't a surprise, you know. I definetely wouldn't let him get away with taking no responsibility and making no apology but I also think you should really just let it go after that, like you said. He's not going to change. It's better to accept that, realize you are a much better person because you have learned from his mistakes even when he hasn't, and enjoy the good relationships you do have. Good to have you back 🙂
"When life gets all in your face, breathe it out".
I am glad your back and I love the lay out!
I missed you lady!
I'm really sorry about your dad. That's so sad. At the same time, at least you're a strong enough person to know that this is HIS problem and not YOUR problem.
I hope it all works out for you. You deserve great things.