Here’s the deal: I didn’t complete my sugar detox.
I figure I should come right out and say the truth.
The truth is that no matter how hard you know something is going to be, you never really know until you’re deep in the trenches of it.
The truth is that after an entire day of eating bland food, the thought of heating up more bland chicken and more bland veggies made me want to throw up.
The truth is that my body wasn’t ready for this.
The truth is that when I decided to quit and days after the decision, I felt no guilt or shame.
Maybe these are all excuses. You could tell me how it was “only one day” and “I didn’t give my body time to adjust” and I would completely agree with you. You are right. I didn’t give my body time to get used to foods that weren’t chock-full of sugar and butter and savory goodness. I’m sure my body would have adjusted, given time.
But is it worth it to be completely miserable?
I don’t think so.
Maybe to some people it is. I didn’t even get to the detox part of the detox – headaches and nausea and shakes and exhaustion. I didn’t even detox. I was just miserable about the food itself and how tasteless it was to me. The thought of facing four more days of food I hated along with detox symptoms made me completely miserable.
Our eating habits are intensely personal to each and every one of us. Not everyone has to be low sugar, or vegetarian, or a runner to lose weight. (This is a point Nicole stresses a lot. And, for the record, this post is in no way a criticism against her program. I still think it’s fantastic. It was just too much for me right now.) For me, I seem to do best when I’m exercising regularly (usually a lot of cardio) and tracking my food intake. When I’m making more home-cooked meals and treating myself every now and then.
And right now, I’m not as concerned as recognizing hidden sugars in foods. The truth is, I’m not overweight because of hidden sugars in my pasta sauce, breads, and cereals. I’m overweight because I eat too many sugary snacks and baked goods, drink soda too often, and eat more of my meals out than in. I need to get a handle on that first.
So I didn’t finish the sugar detox. By 7:00 on Friday night, I threw in the towel. Some may call me weak, some may say I failed but there was this weight lifted off my shoulders, this happiness that wasn’t there before when I made the decision. The entire weekend, I checked in with myself and realized that I felt no guilt or shame or self-loathing about quitting. And that’s when I knew I made the right decision. It was the right decision for me, at this point in my life.
Right now, I need to take baby steps to living a more healthy life. Things like making more home-cooked meals, eating out less, drinking more water, exercising, and limiting sugary treats. I realized I’ve been trying to do it all at once. Fix every single broken piece of me and then I can lose weight and then I can be happy.
Slippery, slippery slope.
There is nothing wrong with me because I’m overweight. My weight holds no bearing over who I am as a person. I am still just as charming and delightful as I would be fifty pounds lighter. It’s something I constantly have to remind myself about and recognize I want to eat healthy for other benefits, not simply for weight loss. To be able to sleep better and have more energy and feel good. To lessen long-term health problems and have more endurance with my workouts.
Maybe one day I can successfully complete a sugar detox and feel good about it. This was just not my time and I’m okay with that. I feel happy about my decision to quit and, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if I finish a hardcore sugar detox or lose tons of pounds. All that matters is how I feel and today, I can say that I feel good.