For My Grandma

My grandma and me, circa 1988

On Friday, October 9, my grandma passed on to Heaven. It’s been a surreal and heartbreaking time for my family, and I haven’t fully processed the fact that I’ll never hear her voice or receive her hugs ever again. For nearly eight years, she fought the most courageous battle with cancer. She was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in 2008, and she managed to continually defy the odds, again and again and again.

It’s hard to believe with all she’s been through, with all she’s fought, that she’s really gone. She was the glue for our family. She was a woman who made everyone feel better when they were around her. She was a woman who freely gave out her love to anyone and everyone. Jesus received one of the very best women on Friday and I have no doubt He planned the most extravagant party for her arrival.

I take comfort in knowing my grandma passed away peacefully and without any pain. That she had her entire family surrounding her in her last hours. And, most especially, that my grandfather – the love of her life – felt complete and utter peace at letting her go. He is a man of strong faith, and it’s because of his faith that he was able to have this peace, knowing that Jesus told him it was her time and that Jesus is helping him get through this.

I process my emotions best through writing, so I wrote the below poem that I tearfully read at her funeral yesterday. On Friday before she passed, as we all gathered in her hospital room, my grandpa asked if we could talk about the qualities Grandma had that we loved best. I took the qualities listed, along with other qualities, to write this poem. My grandma was one of the biggest supporters of my writing and always believed I would be a published novelist someday. So, for me, there was no better way to honor her memory than by writing this for her.

Grandma Was

Grandma was joy
She put a smile
on the face of every person
she came into contact with

Grandma was encouragement
No matter who it was
or what their needs were
Grandma touched them
with words that would
motivate
inspire
enthuse

Grandma was fight
She battled cancer
again
and again
and again
She did it with grace
with strength
with positivity
She never backed down
and she never gave up

Grandma was grace
She was forgiving and accepting
of everyone
of everything

Grandma was wife
She was Terry’s sweetheart
for 56 years
56 years of
love
joy
happiness
family
Their marriage was an inspiration
Their commitment was a model
of which we should all
follow

Grandma was mom
She had six kids
a godson
eleven grandkids
and four great-grands
She was mother
to us all

Grandma was godly
She was the quintessential
Proverbs 31 woman
Noble in character
Unceasingly devoted to her family
Wise beyond belief
And clothed in strength
and dignity

Grandma was comfort
She was a woman
who restored peace to your world
and order to your surroundings
with just a smile
a laugh
a prayer

Grandma was nurture
She was the one we ran to
with skinned knees and
broken hearts
And she found a way
to make it better
to make us whole

Grandma was support
She believed that her kids
could do anything
No goal too big
no dream too far-fetched
Even becoming President
of the United States

Grandma was admiration
She thought her kids
were special
were unique
were gifted
She made us feel
powerful
strong
important

Grandma was blessed
She delighted so many
inspired everyone she met
and left a legacy
that cannot be tainted

Grandma was friend
She was the type of friend
that everyone needs to have
loyal and trustworthy and loving
She was always in your corner
and never faltered
in her belief of you

Grandma was love
She was wholehearted
unabashed
unconditional
overwhelming
inspirational
abundant
deep
genuine
profound
love

She loved not only her family
but also her friends and
everyone she met

But above all
above everything
Grandma loved Jesus
with everything in her
Throughout every curve ball
life threw her way
Grandma was Jesus’ faithful servant

And after
following Jesus
reading His Word
witnessing
serving
praying
fixing her eyes
on Jesus
and only Jesus
she is dancing with Him now
She is free of pain
of sorrow
of strife
She entered His kingdom
and He said to her
Well done, thy good
and faithful servant

We miss you
we grieve your absence
It’s hard to know
how to exist in this world without you
But we rejoice
we celebrate
because you are in glory
and we will see you soon