I wasn’t sure if I wanted to say anything about the election. I don’t really talk about politics much, especially on this blog, but I feel like I have to. Writing is how I process my emotions and, right now, my emotions are a mess. And so I write.
I’m grieving right now. Some people have compared this state of mourning that our country is in to a breakup. The kind of breakup that comes out from nowhere and takes your breath away. The kind of breakup where you thought the future was bright and happy, you had dreams for the two of you, and suddenly, all of that has been taken away. I’m grieving for the future America could have had.
I never thought I would cry over an election. But that’s what I’ve been doing for the past two days. I cried when I saw the results at 3AM Wednesday morning. I cried at work when I talked to my coworkers. I cried in my cubicle when I listened to Hillary’s concession speech… and then sobbed for a solid five minutes afterward. I cried on my way home from work. I cried reading news articles and listening to podcasts reacting to the horrific news that a racist, sexist, xenophobic, unqualified, failed businessman was voted to be the leader of our country.
I want to know when this will feel less raw. When I will feel less shocked. When everything won’t feel so hopeless.
I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in my family members who voted for hate. I’m disappointed in my state that voted blue in the last two elections, but red in this one. I’m disappointed in protest voters in swing states, who would rather take the chance of hate winning than vote for Hillary. I’m disappointed in the 47% of eligible voters who didn’t show up on Tuesday. I’m disappointed that 25% of the voting population believed in Trump’s message.
I was and am an ardant Hillary supporter. She has her faults, for sure, but so does everyone. But I am so goddamn proud of this woman. She put up with more shit than any other presidential candidate has had to deal with. She had to run against a joke of a presidential candidate, and she handled it all with class, beauty, and grace. She has a backbone of steel. She is a woman to aspire to be. I am sad she is not our president. I really wanted her to be our president. She was the most qualified candidate to ever run for president, and she lost to the most unqualified candidate to ever run for president. That sickens me.
But let me be clear: I am not upset because a Republican won. I am upset because hate won. I am upset that someone who ran on a platform of bigotry and hate, someone who thinks sexual assault is a joke, won. I am upset that he won. If it had been Cruz or Rubio or Kasich or, hell, even Jeb, I wouldn’t be excited, but I also wouldn’t be scared.
And that’s what this comes down to. We are afraid of our president-elect. People are fearful of what he might do, based on what he said during his campaign, based on his actions and the actions of his supporters. And that is not okay. We should not be afraid of our president. That’s not democracy, that’s dictatorship.
That’s not the America I want to live in. That’s not the America we should be living in. Not in 2016. Not after so much progress has been made.
I’m allowing myself these feelings of grief and sadness, no matter how many people tell me I’m being melodramatic or that I need to “pull myself together.” I’m letting myself mourn as long as I need to because we are living in our worst-case scenario.
But soon, when I’m ready, I’m going to start fighting. Because hate will not win. Hate will not defeat us.
We can let this empower us to take action. To advocate for those who are in fear of their rights being taken away. To be kind, to be tolerant, to listen. Start with this list to find the different organizations to donate to and volunteer with.
I’ll end with the Bible verse that Hillary quoted in her concession speech: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
Let us not give up. Let us fight. Nasty women, let’s fight.