Thanks to NaBloPoMo, there are quite a few new readers here and I thought I would take the time today to do a little “get to know me” post. Here are 10 things about me:
1) I’m a cat mom.
My darling girls are named Eloise (tuxedo) and Lila (calico). I became a cat mom at the end of 2018 when I adopted Eloise, who a kind woman had taken in but couldn’t keep. It was my first time owning a cat and I had a lot to learn! A few months later, I adopted Lila from a local animal shelter. They are both 7 years old and I am completely obsessed with them. They are so affectionate and adorable and funny. I don’t know what I would do without them!
2) My mom is my best friend, my favorite travel companion, and someone I talk to multiple times a day.
My parents split up when I was in fifth grade, and since there was domestic abuse involved, it was the kind of separation where I was just relieved we were getting out of that situation. My mom worked so hard to establish a healthy living environment for my brother and me, and she was my safe space throughout my life. As I grew up, our relationship changed, and now she’s my best friend. We talk on the phone multiple times a day, and it’s rare for us to go more than a few days without seeing each other in person.
She’s my favorite travel companion, and we’ve done a dozen cruises together, two international trips, and numerous domestic vacations. We work very well together when we’re on vacation, although we’ve been known to have some epic fights.
Since my mom is my favorite person, she’s also my #1 anxiety trigger. If I call her or text her and don’t hear back immediately, I assume something is wrong. She now knows to text me a quick “I’ll call you back” if she can’t answer the call because she’s in a meeting or out and about. I’ve trained her well. 😉
3) I have an older brother, and we are both estranged from our father.
My brother is 14 months older than me, and we are fairly close. He is married with two kids and lives nearby. Growing up, we operated a bit like frenemies and bickered constantly, but we grew out of that as adults.
We are both estranged from our father who is not a good man. In 2010, I tried to explain all of the ways he had hurt me and affected my well-being through a letter, and his response was incredibly hurtful and demeaning. I knew I needed to sever our relationship as a radical act of self-love and care for myself. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make (I was only 23 at the time), but it was ultimately the right one. I still hold out hope we can reconcile, but I also know there is a very slim chance of that ever happening. It took a lot of therapy to come to terms with this estrangement and develop my own sense of self-worth separate from my dad.
4) I live in Florida and have lived here my whole life.
The politics here suck. The weather is abysmal from May through October. And hurricane season is no joke (my area got hit with back-to-back-hurricanes last year). But god I love Florida even still. I live in the Tampa Bay area, which is a more progressive part of Florida, so that helps a bit.
If I could live anywhere else, I’d probably pick North Carolina. It would allow me to experience all four seasons, but winters wouldn’t be too miserable for this thin-skinned Florida gal.
5) The past two years have been filled with physical ailments.
It started in April of last year when I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea, recording over 40 apneas (aka, periods when I stop breathing for 10 seconds or more) an hour. I started CPAP therapy in September of that year and noticed a difference almost immediately in my energy levels!
This year has been one ailment after another. Let’s recap:
- Diabetes – When I got bloodwork done at the beginning of the year, my A1C was very high and my doctor gave me 3 months to work on my diet and exercise habits to see if that would help bring down the number. And it did! So no official diabetes diagnosis, but I was still in prediabetes range so I need to continue working to lower my A1C.
- Carpal tunnel – I have moderate carpal tunnel syndrome, which means I’m a candidate for surgery. I’ve put off the surgery for now, but it’s likely something I’ll do in the next few years.
- GI issues – I went through a gauntlet of tests to figure out why my GI was so messed up. I did a stool sample (SO GROSS), extra bloodwork, an abdominal ultrasound, and a colonoscopy. Everything came back clean, and a few weeks after the colonoscopy, the GI issues cleared up. A part of me wonders if I “reset” my GI with all the prep work?!
- Fibroids – I started having really heavy periods with extremely painful cramping sometime last year. I talked about it on this blog, and Michelle recommended getting tested for fibroids. Lo and behold, all my period pain is because I have two fibroids in my uterus! The solution is endometrial ablation, but that would mean firmly closing the door on getting pregnant (I’m about 85% sure I do not want kids, but it’s that nagging 15%…). I tried hormonal birth control but that dropped me into a severe depressive episode and I’m not keen on trying something else. The other option is an IUD, which I’m considering.
- Trigger finger – I developed trigger finger in the index fingers of both hands. I went to the ortho, got steroid shots, and now the right finger is starting to show symptoms again. Ugh. I can get two more steroid shots before I have to consider surgery.
- Chronic back/hip pain – This is what I’m dealing with now! It started with pain in my thoracic spine that became trapezius strain that became hip/IT band pain. It’s a whole mess. I’m doing chiropractic adjustments, physical therapy, and some prescription meds for now.
6) I came out as queer a few years ago.
It was a long road to come to terms with my sexuality. I grew up in the evangelical Christian church, and during the 90s/early aughts, it was all about purity culture and saving yourself for marriage. I didn’t even think of my sexuality as a thing that could be explored until my late twenties, and as I did, I realized that I did not only want to date men, but I also really wanted to date women. I identify as bisexual, and I have had a lot of fun exploring the queer side of myself over the past few years!
7) I co-host a podcast about personality with my best friend Bri.
It’s called The Friendship Paradox! I am an introvert and Bri is an extrovert, and we talk about all the ways our personalities intersect with our lives. Bri and I are very different and very similar in many ways. This podcast is not very popular and there are ways we could try to spread the word about it to get more listeners, but right now, we’re just enjoying ourselves with this little passion project. It’s also a fun way for us to connect with each other!
8) I work a 100% remote job in the digital marketing field.
I looooooove working from home. Before the pandemic, I was going into the office four days a week with one work-from-home day. And then the pandemic happened, everyone started working from home, and my company learned that everyone was just as productive (if not more!) while working from home. They never did any sort of return to the office mandate; instead, they sold our big office in Tampa, downsized to a smaller coworking space, and announced that we were going to be 100% remote. Oh, happy day!
I enjoy what I do (content marketing) and I don’t let myself get too stressed out about it. I’m not client-facing, so that helps with the stress levels for sure!
9) I live alone and love being single.
I have been living alone for 9 years now, and I don’t know if I ever want to live with another person ever again. I mean, I hope I will one day find someone who is worth living with, but it’s not pretty out there in the dating world. I love having my own space. I love that I can decorate exactly the way I want and nobody is messing with my organizational system or eating my food. I love that I don’t have to deal with other people’s energies while I’m at home. I don’t have to deal with other people’s routines and habits and smells and belongings. It’s quiet and peaceful and my safe place. It is so, so nice to live alone.
10) I’m a voracious reader and have read more than 100 books a year since 2017.
Reading is my favorite hobby, and I take my identity as a reader very seriously. I keep a detailed reading spreadsheet, manage multiple TBR lists, and update my Goodreads and Storygraph accounts daily. I am very proud that I have read more than 100 books for 8 years in a row, simply because it means I am making time for the thing that brings me the most joy and peace and happiness: reading. It’s not really about the number. It’s about engaging in something that makes me feel the most like myself.
I’ve written more than 1,600 words about myself (omg), but hey, if you have any other burning questions to ask me, fill out my form and I’ll do a Q&A later this month!
How long have you lived where you live?
As a relatively longer reader, I knew a lot of this – but I didn’t know you decided to become estranged from your father when you were only 23. You were so young to make that very smart decision! I’m very proud of you and also proud that you were able to come out and live your life. I’m sure it was hard to do that, given your background. I feel very “big sister” towards you, my friend! xo
Aww, Nicole! I feel the same way and very much treasure our relationship. <3
Estrangement is so hard - filled with so many complex emotions, but I am so proud of my young self for having the courage to become estranged.
I knew most of this, but it’s always good to be reminded and fill in any gaps. About your podcast- from what I understand, it’s VERY hard to have a “popular” podcast nowadays unless you’re a celebrity. But passion projects are a worthwhile endeavor! You’re also reminding me to listen to it again- I just fall back on my same ones over and over again.
I love that you love living alone. I remember you wrote a whole post about it for Engie’s 20th blogaversary. Of course you’re not really alone because you have Lila and Eloise! Cats are the best.
Thank you for saying that about my podcast. Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more to market it… but also, we’re not looking to become big-time podcasters or really put in a whole lot of work to get the word out. We’re both busy enough as it is, so it’s just something fun that we get to do!
Your cats are so pretty!!!! As a fairly long-term reader, I knew most of these details already, but it is always fun to read about you! As usual, I am impressed with how open and vulnerable you are about your challenges and passions. Your sincerity and heart come through loud and clear in your writing. xxoo
You are so sweet! Thank you so much, Suzanne. That means a lot!
Hi Stephanie – I visit here a lot but seldom post, but I wanted to run something by you, regarding your health issues if you don’t mind! First of all – YAY regarding A1C – that is so hard, my husband is dealing with this so kudos to you for your success! I wanted to make a suggestion regarding your other physical issues, because I have gone through very similar things, especially regarding your GI situation that turned out fine after all the testing. I also come from a dysfunctional family and had to go no-contact on the whole lot – immediate and extended – and sadly felt immediate relief after finally making that decision. As much as my life immediatly improved, I am still so sad at having to make this decision. I also keep having these physical scares (O M G IT’S CANCER I KNOW IT) and I go to the dr and everything is fine. I think it has been very difficult to fully accept my happiness – I am very happily married, have a wonderful daughter, we have a great life on our terms – so why do I still feel this guilt? It doesn’t help to have all the happy families thrown at me during the holidays. I have come to the conclusion that it is my psychological side, maybe trying to back-fill for all the crap that is gone from my life, or maybe my guilt punishing me, or my brain just doesn’t know how to do happy? Obviously we are going to have some real physical issues, but what about the phantom ones, the scares? It seems that once your GI situation was resolved, something else popped up. I just wonder if this is something you could explore with your therapist, how much of this could be our brain just trying to deal with this situation? Regardless, you are definatly getting strong in recognizing who you are and creating the life that works for you. You are so lucky to have such a great relationship with your mom! and your brother! and your friends! I hope I haven’t taken too much of a liberty in posting this but just wanted to make the suggestion….
Donna, I really, really appreciate your comment and I’ve been thinking about it all day! I’ve been wondering WHAT has been causing all of these ailments – more levels of inflammation? getting older? IDK! I think it could be something psychosomatic, especially since every time I go to the doctor to find out what’s wrong, there’s no solution or concrete results.
I have been out of therapy for about 6 months now and I have been thinking about going back… this comment might be the kick in the pants I need to finally make the appointment and talk through what’s been going on!
Thank you so much for your support! I know it can be hard to leave a comment and offer advice, but I truly appreciate it. And thanks for reading – it means a lot!
I knew all of this since I am a very long-term reader! I’m always a bit chuffed when someone does a “get to know you post” and I know all of the facts about a person! I did one yesterday and surely you’ll nod along to all of them since we’ve been reading each others’ blogs since 2009 maybe? Or 2010? I don’t even know. It’s been a LONG time!
I have lived in Minneapolis continuously since May 2014. As you know, I’d an unwanted relocation from MSP to CLT in 2013 so spent Apr 2013-May 2014 in CLT. Besides those 13 months, I’ve lived in the Minneapolis/metro area since June 2003. I can’t imagine living anywhere else while we are working. BUT when we retire, we need to find someone to live during the winter as I do not need to put up with this BS weather when I’m not working/when our kids are out of school. I love Minnesota but I get cold so easily so this is not the right climate for someone like me. But we have no idea where we’ll spend the winter months. Phil won’t even discuss it because so much could change in the next 10 years.
I knew most of this but it’s all fascinating and I don’t mind hearing it again one bit. You can say what you want about Florida, but it’s a great place to visit in February and a lot of awesome people live there.
Same as Birchie/Nicole– I knew these most of these things as long time reader, but loved reading them again.
I am fairly new here, so I appreciate you sharing this background info. I’m sorry about the difficulties with your father and how challenging that has been for you. It breaks my heart. I applaud you for being so open and honest in who you are. Good for you.
I assume you get this a lot, but dang – you resemble your mom so much. Love that she’s your best friend. I was very close to my mom. She has Alzheimer’s now and that’s been very hard. On the one hand, it’s comforting that she’s here, but at the same time – I feel like I’ve already lost her. When she passes away, I imagine it will feel like losing her all over again.
I’ve struggled with GI issues for year and years. I have celiac, but also SIBO on top of that – and they just can’t seem to figure out a cure/way to not have it anymore. Sheesh- it sounds like you were not getting great sleep. Glad you have that machine to help now.
I read about your new apartment too. The heat things is confusing. I prefer to keep the heat turned down in the upstairs, but one (or most) of the kids’ bedrooms get very very cold. I often wonder if they skimped on the insulation. Good luck continuing to get settled.
My mom’s genes run very strong! 🙂
I am so sorry to hear about your mom with Alzheimer’s. That has to be so hard.
A good about me post never gets old and even though I knew most of the things its a nice reminder.
As for your question, I lived in Berlin since 1991 – so shortly after the wall came down – with one year where I lived in Idaho.
I can not imagine reallymovipg anywhere else beside moving to another country. And right now picks are slim.
I enjoyed this, and found a bit more that I hadn’t completely understood, mainly about your dad. I’m sorry you had to go through that, and glad that your mom found the strength to leave and get you all safe. Having shitty parents is not fair. I’m glad you are so close with your mom, and I loved this glimpse into your life. Nicole said she feels very ‘big sister’ toward you, but as I’m 9 1/2 years older than her, and am your mom’s age, I’ll say I feel very auntie toward you. But actually, in my mind we’re all the same age, even though you and Elisabeth were born when I was in college.
Sometimes, I too forget that you are my mom’s age! And I love that I am surrounded by big sisters and aunties in this beautiful blogging community!
I’m a brand-new reader, having come over from San’s NaBlaPoMo list of participating blogs. I’m excited to read more of your posts. This was so well-written and the emotional range of this post was pretty wide. Nice to e-meet you (I think I’m the only newer person on the comments- at least so far!).
Hi there! I’m going to check out your blog. Thanks for stopping by!
I really appreciate your kind words!
I loved reading all about you, Stephany! I didn’t realize the situation with your dad, and I’m so proud of you for removing him from your life. I’m quite a bit older than you, so I feel like your Auntie, just like J! You have wisdom beyond your years.
Thanks for this post, I love it!
Wow, we have been in our central Jersey house since… 2014?.. Yes, 2014. So it’s been a while.
I love how close you are with your mom!
I knew most of these details, as well, but it’s always good to remind myself of just how much you have survived, and how much you have thrived. I’m so, so glad that you are living your life for YOU. (And I’m also so, so glad that you have your mother and brother in your life…what a gift. <3)