Stephany Writes

Categories: About Me

Ask Stephany Anything | The Girl Behind the Blog

Happy Saturday, friends! I hope your weekend is off to a lovely start. In today’s inaugural Ask Stephany Anything post, I’m answering a question from NGS:

It’s not a question so much as a request. I’m a relatively new reader and I don’t know a lot of basic things. I feel like a “basic facts” would be useful. How old are your cats? How long have you had them? What do you do for a living? What are your favorite types of books? What do you consider a good date? What’s the best vacation you’ve ever been on? I think I’m nosy, but maybe that’s what you need right now!

This seemed like a great time to introduce everyone to the girl behind the blog. 🙂

Hi, pleased to meet you! My name is Stephany and I’m 33 years old. I live in St. Petersburg, Florida, which is a hop, skip, and a jump away from Tampa. I’ve lived in this area my entire life, which is unusual—there are not too many native Floridians and even fewer people native to the St. Petersburg area. But I love St. Pete with all of my heart and soul and cannot imagine living anywhere else! It’s a more liberal area of Florida with a lively downtown scene, lots of breweries, great restaurants, and tons of museums. St. Pete is considered a “peninsula on a peninsula,” which means we’re surrounded by water on three sides and we have so many incredible beaches—it can get pretty touristy around here!

For my job, I’m part of the content team for a large digital marketing firm. My company is based in Tampa, but we became a fully remote workforce after the pandemic hit. Apparently, most of the people at our company really enjoyed working from home, so my company moved out of our old office and into a smaller one that will function more as a coworking space. I looooooove working from home full-time and I don’t think I could ever go back to being in an office on a regular basis.

I just celebrated 8 years at my company in August, and it’s really been a wonderful 8 years. I still love what I do, even if it can get stressful at times. (But what job doesn’t?) My primary role is writing. I write short-form (300-ish words) and long-form (500+ words) articles for a variety of clients, mainly in the healthcare and home improvement industries. I also do a ton of editing, mostly because I’m managing the workload of one of our contractors and am responsible for sending her assignments, editing her work, and sending it to clients. I also do project management and content strategy for some of our more specialized accounts. Basically, my days are busy and no day is the same.

Let’s talk about family! My mom is my very best friend and we Facetime with each other multiple times a day. She’s remarried and lives just 10 minutes from me, and I try to see her at least a couple times a week. She has two of the sweetest dachshunds, Chip (3) and Lucy (7 months), and I love them to death. My brother also lives nearby. He’s married to his high school sweetheart and they have two boys: J. is 13 and D. is 6. I’m estranged from my father, a decision I’ve talked about extensively on this blog. It was a decision I made in 2010, and it still hurts knowing he’s not in my life, even though that was the best decision I could have made for myself.

I have a big extended family on my mom’s side. She has five brothers and all but one of her brothers have children. (And many of those children have children of their own!)

Currently, I am single and I live by myself, which I love. While I hope for long-term partnership someday, I am also really happy being alone. Of course, I don’t actually live alone because I have my cats! I adopted Eloise at the end of 2018 and Lila a few months later. They are around the same age and turned 3 in the spring. Both of them are rescues who were living on the streets and having a rough go of it. I’m so glad I’ve been able to give them the cozy home they need! They are my entire world and I don’t know what I would do without them.

My hobbies are pretty varied! I love writing, obviously, and this blog has become the perfect outlet for me. I’d still love to write a novel, but that dream has been put on the backburner for the time being. Of course, reading is probably my biggest hobby and I make time for it every day. I also love NFL football, podcasts, going to museums, Peloton, traveling, reading blogs, and coloring.

I’ll finish by answering some of the questions that were posed to me in this question:

What are your favorite types of books? Romance is probably my favorite genre, and that’s why I usually have a romance book going alongside whatever else I’m reading. Other favorite genres: nonfiction (social justice and memoirs, mainly), thrillers, and women’s fiction.

What do you consider a good date? For me, a good date is less about the place and more about how I feel during it. A good date is when we can talk and talk and talk without running out of things to say. It’s not having awkward pauses. It’s wanting to extend the date, and not run back home to my cats within 20 minutes. It’s that feeling of hopefulness and happiness when it ends, knowing it was something special that only comes around every once in a while. It’s excitement that maybe, just maybe, you have found your person.

What’s the best vacation you’ve ever been on? Gosh, I’d like to say my trip to Ireland because it was such a bucket list vacation, but I was not my best self there and I spend a lot of time regretting how I planned that vacation. So instead, I’ll say it was the second cruise I went on in May 2012. My mom and I booked a six-day cruise where we biked around Key West, swam with sting rays and played with dolphins in Grand Cayman, and discovered our love for zip-lining in Jamaica. It was an incredible six days and we had so much fun!

I’m still looking for questions for Ask Stephany Anything! Comment below with your question or use my handy-dandy form. 

Categories: About Me

So, About That Blog Break

Long time, no chat, eh?

For most of September and October, I was depressed. Depression is something I struggle with, but it’s not something that’s an everyday part of my life. It typically hits me during random periods, and I can usually drag myself out of them within a few days. This time was different. This time lasted many weeks and affected everything: the way I felt about myself, my relationships, my life. My focus at work. My hobbies. I couldn’t go on social media without feeling like everyone was having fun without me, and everyone would be ok if I just fully exited their lives forever. That sounds so dramatic, but it was how I felt at the time. I was in an incredibly dark place and when I am in that place, I don’t feel as if I have purpose anymore.

I tried just pushing through the pain and darkness for weeks, but it wasn’t working. Writing can be cathartic for me and I’m committed to always talking about the hard stuff, but I just wasn’t in a place to really dig into what I was going through. It was all too raw and painful and happening in real-time. I was in a dark place that I didn’t know if I was ever going to get out of. (When I tried to remind myself of the good days and the times when my depression wasn’t such a suffocating force in my life, my brain continually fed me lies. “You weren’t really so happy, were you? Have you ever actually been happy?”)

And truthfully, it was also scary to be in this place. It’s scary to have my brain work against me at this level. All I wanted to do was sleep because, at least then, my brain was quiet for a while.

I decided to take time away from my blog. I was trying to write a Friday blog post and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t muster the energy to talk about my life and pretend things were fine when they just weren’t. I deleted the blog post I was working on and told myself I was going to step away from the blog for two weeks. I wasn’t going to make some big to-do about it. I was just going to take the time away, unannounced.

At this time, I also deleted Instagram from my phone (the only social media app I use) because it was starting to feel like an unhealthy place for me to be. I didn’t want to worry about what other people were posting or what I should be posting or how much better people have been at adapting to Instagram’s changing landscape than I have (looking at you, Reels). I regularly take breaks from Instagram and I have a 30-minute daily time limit on it as it is, but I really needed to fully delete the app and step away from it for a couple of weeks for my mental health.

Alongside my depression was my dearest friend, anxiety. As I mentioned in a previous post, my anxiety has been at an all-time low for a really long time—so much so that I weaned myself off Lexapro. But things got really bad in October with my anxiety. I was living in a constant state of high anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I would latch onto one thing (typically, my mom dying) and wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it no matter how many different tricks I tried. I started having regular panic attacks, something I don’t experience often but became part of my daily existence. I never feel more like a crazy person than when my anxiety is out of control like this.

In the end, I called my doctor and got back on Lexapro. I still remember calling the pharmacy in tears on a Saturday when they hadn’t yet filled the Lexapro prescription and I was so worried I was going to have to wait until Monday to call my doctor back and get this taken care of. (Even though the pharmacy would have given me an emergency three-day dose if I really needed it, I was just worried that something was going to happen to push back the date of restarting Lexapro.) And when the pharmacist confirmed they had my prescription refill request and would be filling it in the hour, I miiiight have burst into tears. I was just so tired of being depressed and sad and anxious all the time, and I wanted to do something that would get the wheels turning in the right direction.

And it did. Perhaps it was a placebo effect (okay, it was definitely a placebo effect), but the day after I restarted Lexapro, I started feeling better. And each day since, I’ve come back to myself little by little. Today, I feel the most myself in a long time and I am so happy to have crawled through that dark place to get here. It was the hardest fucking thing, as anyone who struggles with mental illness knows, but I made it to the other side.

I planned to come back to blogging and social media in two weeks, although I was prepared for my break to last longer if I needed it to. What I didn’t expect was to get bronchitis the weekend before I was set to return.

Aside from my severe reaction to the second Covid vaccine, I haven’t been sick in over two years at this point. Between working from home, wearing masks when I’ve been in public, and not being around people all that often, I’ve been at my most physically healthy. But then my mom got sick with bronchitis (there were a very scary few days in there where we thought she might have Covid) and, of course, I ended up getting sick from her. SIGH. It has not been a fun week over here. Last weekend, I was mostly dealing with chills, fever, and a slight sore throat, but then Monday hit and I was sneezing like crazy, coughing up my lungs, and dealing with intense fatigue. Thankfully, I’m on the mend and mostly just dealing with an irritating cough. Even though I was pretty sure it wasn’t Covid, I still went and got tested (negative!).

And now I’ve written over 900 words about where I’ve been for the last few weeks. I got sweet emails from people checking in on me, which was really nice. Knowing that my absence was felt by other people (especially people I’ve never met IRL!) gives me that sense of purpose that was lacking when I was feeling deeply depressed. I need to bottle up that feeling. <3

But I’m excited to be back, excited to be feeling better (both physically and mentally), and excited to write again. I really missed this space and connecting with you guys and opening my heart. In fact, I missed it so much that I’ve decided to participate in National Blog Posting Month (publishing a blog post every day in November). While not an official challenge anymore, my friend San has carried on the tradition and inspired others to do the same. Get ready to see a lot more of me in your feeds, friends! (One of my goals with this challenge is to do a weekly Q&A post, so I’ve created this form where you can ask any questions you want! Or you can comment on this post or email me with your question if that’s easier for you.)

Categories: About Me

Stitch Fix | September 2021

My third Stitch Fix arrived at the end of last week. What a fun surprise! I asked for casual tops and, since it’s still hot in Florida up until late November, nothing too warm. Shorts and light tees are still necessary for a few more months!

While I loved everything when I took the pieces out of the box, this Fix was not a huge winner for me. Let’s review:

Kut From the Kloth Cuffed Boyfriend Shorts ($68)

I had high hopes for these jean shorts and they felt great on me, but they were just a bit too long for my liking (7″ inseam). I think they would work well on someone taller, but with my short legs, the shorts nearly reached my knees and they just looked awkward on me. These were a return.

Papermoon Reece Mixed Material Top ($38)

I really liked this top! It was a fun color and print, although the sleeve style (cap sleeves) wasn’t my favorite. I’d prefer either a sleeveless shirt or one with longer sleeves. But I’m willing to overlook that one flaw because I love the way this shirt fits and it felt comfortable on me, so I opted to keep it.

Daniel Rainn Quin Keyhole Crochet Top ($64)

Man, I had so many mixed feelings about this top! When I first put it on, I didn’t love it. I’m not keen on wearing white because it seems to “show” everything in a way that darker colors do not. (Perhaps my own fatphobic tendencies rearing their head there!) But I did really like the style, the fun crochet detailing, and the way it fit me. It was flattering in every other way! (Looking at the Stitch Fix website, there are lots of other colors for this top. If only my stylist had opted for another color!) Ultimately, I had to decide if I wanted to spend $64 on this top and eh, I didn’t. It was a return.

Pink Clover Daisee Knit Tee ($32)

I’m always looking for great casual tees, and this one was perfect! And with a fun detail of a lining of buttons up the back, the style is just a little bit fancier than a typical casual tee. Also, I think horizontal stripes are supposed to be slimming? Always a plus! As the cheapest item in my box, this was an easy keep.

Daniel Rainn Becru Lace Detail Blouse ($68)

Oh man, I was so excited to pull this blouse out of the box. It was beautiful and stylish and the more black lace blouses I can have in my wardrobe, the better. When I put it on, I was so happy to see that it fit great. Unfortunately, the problem with the shirt is the neckline: It was so itchy! It irritated my skin and just felt uncomfortable, so sadly, I had to return it. What a bummer!

All in all, not my most successful Fix to date but I got two great shirts to add to my wardrobe and I’m considering purchasing the keyhole crochet top in a different color (that $64 price tag is just making me hesitate, gah!). I’ve scheduled another Fix for mid-December and I asked for some cold-weather essentials. Or, Florida cold-weather essentials, haha. I asked for a pair of booties (after seeing Kim get a pair in her last Fix and loving them!), a light jacket or cardigan, and some long-sleeved casual tees. Here’s hoping it’s a 5/5 Fix!

Categories: About Me

What’s In My Bag?

I’ve seen these “What’s In My Bag?” posts floating around since the dawn of blogging, but I’ve never done one myself because I used to carry really small purses that only held a wallet, my phone, and my keys. But I recently upgraded my bag to something bigger because I wanted it to carry more of my life and ensure I’m ready for (almost) any emergency.  And I think it might be semi-interesting to go through it with you guys! So let’s do that.

This is the purse I’m using now. I got it at T.J. Maxx for, like, $25. It’s Jessica Simpson and I like it because it’s big enough to fit my life and has some great little compartments to stuff my keys and phone in. Mainly, I use one of the side pockets for my keys and throw my phone in the bigger section. The purse came with two straps, too: a long one to wear the purse as a crossbody and a short one to wear it slung over your shoulder. At first, I wore it as a crossbody but lately, I’ve just been using the shorter strap and I really like it.

Let’s go through what’s in my bag:

  1. Tiny umbrella – I love this little umbrella; it’s definitely come in handy more than a few times! It’s small, so it doesn’t take up a ton of space in my purse, but it opens up to a nice-sized umbrella (but wouldn’t fit more than one person).
  2. Face mask – While I have been going maskless indoors, I still keep a face mask in my purse at all times just in case I come across a business requiring it. (Although I may start wearing face masks indoors again, as this Delta variant is no joke!)
  3. Warby Parker prescription sunglasses – I always have my trusty prescription sunglasses with me! My eyes are so sensitive to light that I even wear sunglasses when it’s cloudy outside.
  4. Wallet – Another TJ Maxx find! Actually, I think my mom found this first and was going to get it, but she found one she liked better. Yay for me! I love this little wallet. It’s small and compact, but opens up to a nice-sized card organizer and I can fit all I need in there.
  5. Keys – Nothing too exciting here. I loved having a wrist-sized lanyard for my keys since it makes hanging them up (and finding them in my purse!) so much easier. I just bought this one, replacing the other one I had for, like, 3 years?! I was well overdue.
  6. Necessities pouch – I’ll go through this pouch in greater detail below!
  7. Responsibility pouch – Ditto.

I wasn’t sure what to label my brown pouch; it’s just a zippered pouch where I put necessities that I don’t want to get lost in the depths of my purse. So, “necessities pouch” it is. In this pouch, I have:

  1. An extra mask, which used to be my “emergency mask” for those times when I walked into a store and forgot my mask in the car
  2. An Invisibobble hair tie because what’s worse than needing to pull your hair up and not having any way to do so?!
  3. A microfiber cloth to quickly clean sunglasses or eyeglasses
  4. Gum because priorities
  5. Sunglasses (non-prescription) that I wear when I have my contacts in

My “responsibility pouch” has a silly name, but it’s something I read about years ago in a book: that you should keep a waterproof, zippered pouch in your purse at all times with all kinds of supplies you need when you’re out and about. Here’s what this pouch consists of now:

  1. Cleansing cloths for the times when I just need to refresh my face
  2. Eyeglass wipes for the times when my glasses are looking grimy
  3. Hand sanitizer, because duh
  4. Advil, because there’s nothing worse than having a terrible headache when I’m far from home
  5. Tampons, just in case my period hits at an unfortunate time
  6. Rewetting drops for contacts because dry contacts are miserable to deal with
  7. Eyedrops for those times when my eyes start watering for no good reason

And that’s what’s in my bag! My bag is also big enough that I can throw in my Kindle or a large hardcover book if I don’t want to be without reading material while out and about. One needs a purse big enough to fit both, I think.

Categories: About Me

Stitch Fix | June 2021

I ordered another Stitch Fix box this month (my last one was in March and I have been eagerly anticipating this delivery!) I asked for summery-type clothes, stuff that I could wear during our long, humid summers. I was also looking for some new shorts because I only really have one pair of shorts that fit me right now, and that’s definitely not enough! Unfortunately, this box wasn’t a total hit for me, but I did keep some great items that I’ve already worn a few times since getting this delivery (which was about 10 days ago).

Item #1: West Kei Knot Detail Blouse ($42)

I wasn’t sure how I felt about this top at first. I like my shirts to be a little longer in front than this one is, but I loved the bold color and it felt really good on me. It’s lightweight and since I mainly wear t-shirts or tank tops these days, it’s something a little more fun and flirty to wear when I want to be fancy. Originally, I put this shirt in my return pile because I wasn’t overly impressed. I put it on for the first time to take the picture and then twice more to decide if I wanted to keep or return it. Ultimately, this was a keep. (Surprise?!)

Item #2: STS Blue High-Rise Capris ($59)

I immediately knew that these jeans weren’t going to work for me. For one, capris are never the right length for me and, as you can see in this picture, these are ankle-length on me and they just have an awkward fit. For another, ripped jeans? What am I, 16?! I put these on and immediately said, “Nope!” These were an easy return.

Item #3: STS Blue Cut-Off Distressed Shorts ($45)

I really liked the way these shorts felt on me when I tried them on. They fit easily over my waist and weren’t too tight anywhere. So I immediately decided to keep them. I’ve worn them a few times since then and I don’t know if I love them as much as I thought I did. I think I was just happy that they felt good, but didn’t pay attention if they looked good on my frame. I’m heavier on top than bottom (I have serious chicken legs, and I’m not complaining) and I do better with slim-fit shorts that mold a bit more to my thighs. These just fan out from my thighs and just make me feel, well, frumpy. Oh well, these can be my “I’m feeling frumpy and I don’t care” jeans, I guess.

Item #4: TOMS Classic Printed Alpargata Espadrilles ($59)

I love TOMS shoes—they’re one of the few I can wear for miles and miles and my feet won’t cramp. And I really liked these shoes but they were hard to walk around in as the back of the shoe rubbed against the back of my foot uncomfortably. I know TOMS take some time to break in, but I just couldn’t fathom ever wearing these shoes enough to do that. They were too painful! So they were a return.

Item $5: Fortune + Ivy Mixed Material Blouse ($38)

I loved this shirt! It’s such a beautiful blue color that I would never select for myself and it fits me perfectly. I love the way it drapes over my hips in a flattering way. It’s just perfect! The mixed material of the shirt is that most of the front is a silky material and right below the shoulders (in the picture on the right, you can see a horizontal line right below my left shoulder and that’s where the material switches) and down the back, it’s cotton. I didn’t even have to think about this one: keep.

***

In the end, I paid around $114 for two shirts and a pair of shorts, which is a lot more than I typically pay for clothes. (A few days after going through this delivery, I bought two pairs of shorts and four shirts from Old Navy for $70, lol.) So I’m going back and forth on whether or not I want to continue with Stitch Fix. I signed up to get another box in September and I plan to reevaluate if I want to keep doing it after seeing what’s in that delivery. It’s not cheap, but it’s also super fun to have a stylist pick out clothes for me! So, we’ll see!