Best Of

Best of 2023 | Reading Stats

Hi, friends! I’m finally finishing up my “Best of 2023” series… in mid-January. This is the latest I’ve ever been writing these posts, so I hope you will indulge me in one more look back on my reading year with my reading stats post. As a reminder, I keep a very detailed spreadsheet (which I’m happy to send to anyone who wants it!), which helps me put this post together. The spreadsheet lists out the book title, author, page count, my rating, when I started and finished a book, and other details like if it’s a debut, if it’s diverse, where I sourced the book from, etc.

Now, let’s dive into what my 2023 reading year looked like!

Nitty-Gritty Details

Number of books read: 117 (-7 from 2022)
Number of pages read: 40,435 (-2,364 from 2022)
Money spent on books I read this year: $374.81 (-$50.18). This amounts to $3.20 per book.
Percentage of books by and about BIPOC and the LGBTQIA+ community: 30, or 26% (-12% from 2022—ugh)
Number of books abandoned: 14 (-1 from 2022)

Format Breakdown

This was so interesting to me because while my print reading didn’t change too much from 2022 to 2023 (+2.3%), my audiobook reading came in second place for the first time ever! It bumped up from 22.6% to 30.8%! And my e-book reading went down over 10% from 2022. Crazy!

Genre Breakdown

Genre	Percentage	Average Rating
Romance	32%	3.6
General Fiction	22%	4.0
Thriller	15%	4.1
Nonfiction	15%	4.0
Historical Fiction	9%	3.8
YA	4%	3.6
Fantasy	1%	3.0

Romance was once again my highest-read category—but down 1% from 2022 and my average rating was down .2 from 2022! A 3.6 rating is not great for me. General fiction was way up (9%!) although the average rating came down (from 4.7 in 2022, which is an astonishingly high rating). Thrillers were up 4% and the rating came down .1 from 2022—not too bad, there. Nonfiction came down 3% and the rating also came down by .2. Historical fiction went up by 1% but the better news is that I picked much better historical fiction novels in 2023—my rating was up .8 from 2022! Another surprising stat was YA. My percentage came down 12% (!) and my rating also came down by .5. It was not the year of YA for me, it seems. And finally, I only read one fantasy book this year, which I gave 3 stars.

Source Breakdown

Even though I love buying books, I’m pleased to see that I’m still getting over half of my reads from the library. (I get almost all of my audiobooks from the library and most of the romances I read.) My second most popular source was Amazon, but that percentage was down 5% from 2022. Book of the Month (BOTM) and indie bookstores were both up 2%, which was good to see. Target was down by .6%. And some of the smaller categories include Barnes & Noble, gifted books, Thriftbooks, and Spotify.

Month Breakdown

Pretty stable throughout the year! The most books I read in a month was 11 (January, July, August, and November) and the least was 8 (September, October). I’m guessing football is the reason my reading went down so much in September/October. I try to read while I’m watching the games, but I’m not always successful so that removes a whole day from my reading schedule.

Ratings Breakdown

I read a lot of 4- and 5-star books this year—almost 72% of the books I read! And that’s up 3% from 2022! However, my 5-star ratings decreased by 7.3% while my 4-star ratings increased by 10.4% (!!). My 3-star ratings decreased by 6.1% while my 2-star ratings increased by 3%. So maybe I felt more comfortable rating books 2 stars rather than giving them 3 stars? And maybe I also had a hard time giving a book that 5-star designation so I opted for 4 stars. This year, I want to track the half-stars I give a book so we’ll see how that shakes things out in 2024.

Days to Read

I don’t read fast these days and that’s because I’m usually reading multiple books at one time, and I’m very slow with my audiobook reading. (They have to compete with podcasts so I generally only listen to 1-2 hours of my audiobook per day.) This chart is about on par with what I did in 2022.

New Release vs. Backlist

I’m about 50/50 on my new release vs backlist books! I used to read a lot more backlist, but things keep trending toward more new release books every year. In 2023, my new release reading went up by 4.2%. Between 2022 and 2023, my new release reading went up by 10%!

Odds and Ends

Oldest book (by pub date): A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (1947)
Newest book (by pub date): The Woman in Me by Britney Spears (October 24, 2023)
Author I read the most: Julia Quinn (3)
Book I spent the most money on: Happy Place by Emily Henry and The 1619 Project ($23)
Time spent listening to audiobooks: 345 hours, 41 minutes (which is 55 hours, 31 minutes more than last year!)
Longest book: America’s First Daughter by Stephanie Dray (606 pages)
Shortest book: Have I Told You This Already? by Lauren Graham (183 pages)
Book that took me the longest to read: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (65 days)

Categories: Best Of, Books

Best of 2023 | My Favorite Reads

Ah, it’s finally time for my favorite “Best of” posts—the reading recaps! Today, I’m revealing some of my favorite reads of 2023. I break this post into three sections: My overall favorites (which includes my #1 book of the year!), my favorites by genre, and some superlatives (I got most of these categories from Sarah’s Book Shelves yearly superlatives episode). I want to note that these books are the ones I read in 2023—they were not necessarily published in 2023. This is a long post, so let’s dive in!

Overall Favorites

Favorite Overall Book

We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres-Sanchez – When I think about my favorite overall book of the year, I think about the book that impacted me the most. What’s the book I can’t stop thinking about? What’s the book I want everyone to read? In 2023, We Are Not From Here is that book. This is a hard, heavy book about three Guatemalan kids who make the arduous journey to the U.S. border, and it is a book that taught me so much. It taught me about the light and darkness that is in people, what our immigrants go through to get to the border, and how we as a country need to do so much better for them. It’s not an easy book, but it will be impactful.

Favorite Fiction

Falling by T.J. Newman – This book came so very close to being my favorite of the year. It was such a unique, fast-moving story that was so hard to put down! This is not a book for anyone who gets nervous about flying because it’s about a pilot who starts a flight and then finds out his family has been taken hostage. To save his family, he must crash the plane. I loved this book and I cannot believe it is Newman’s debut and that she wrote while she was working as a flight attendant! I could never. I loved Newman’s follow-up, Drowning, almost as much as this one. I haven’t flown since reading these books, so we’ll see how I feel about them the next time I have to step foot on an airplane.

Favorite Nonfiction

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson – What a sensational memoir this was! I read this in early February and I’m still thinking about this book and the way George told their stories. It’s maddening at times because I just felt so sad for George and what they went through to come to terms with their queerness and coming out. I listened to this book on audio, which George narrates, and I highly recommend taking in this story that way. It made their words so much more impactful.

Favorite Romance

Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld – This was such a fun romance, and I love the way it was structured. It’s about a comedy writer (Sally) working on an SNL-style show and the celebrity (Noah) who was hosting for a particular week. The first act follows the two of them as they prepare for the show, and there’s definitely some flirtiness happening. The second act happens during 2020 and Covid times; Sally is now living at home since the show is on hiatus and Noah is quarantining in Los Angeles. They exchange lots of emails during this time. And then the third act is Sally deciding to drive to see Noah, and the culmination of their romance. I thought it was an inventive way to not only tell a romance, but also a Covid-era romance. I loved it!

Favorites by Genre

Favorite Contemporary Fiction

The People We Keep by Allison Larkin – This is one of the final books I read in 2023, and I am so glad it made this list! This is a book about a girl who is just trying to survive and the people she meets along the way. I found the main character to be such an easy person to root for. I just wanted all of the best things for her. The ending made me cry happy tears, which rarely happens for me!

Runner-up: Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty

Favorite Historical Fiction

Code Name Helene by Ariel Lawhon – The historical fiction genre is littered with WWII novels, but I always love getting a new view of this time period from my reading. This book is a fictionalized retelling of Nancy Wake, a real-life spy during the war. The novel was fascinating and heartbreaking, and I learned a whole lot.

Runner-up: The Henna Artist by Alki Joshi

Favorite Contemporary Romance

Codename Charming by Lucy Parker – I have never been disappointed by a Lucy Parker novel and this one was no exception. It follows two employees of the royal family—a personal assistant to the princess’s husband and the head of security—and the fake relationship they have to fool the press. It’s sweet and funny and, dare I say, charming.

Runner-up: Something Wild and Wonderful by Anita Kelly

Favorite Historical Romance

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera – I didn’t read any GREAT historical romances this year, but I’m choosing this book as my favorite historical romance because I appreciated what the author tried to do with the representation elements and discussing colonialism and slavery within the novel.

Runner-up: Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian

Favorite YA

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo – It’s hard to put into words how much this book meant to me. It’s about a 17-year-old girl growing up in 1950s and discovering her queer identity… and the girl she falls in love with. It’s a sweet story, but also heartbreaking. I just loved it.

Runner-up: The Agathas by Kathleen Glasgow

Favorite Mystery/Thriller

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister – This book was on my list to make my “Overall Favorite” of the year because it was just so good. Inventive and clever with a really excellent ending. It’s a time travel book, except a woman is traveling back in time to solve the mystery of why her son murdered a man right in front of their home.

Runner-up: A World of Curiosities by Louise Penny

Favorite Memoir/Essay Collection

Finding Me by Viola Davis – This memoir was exquisite. Viola Davis had a really tough life growing up and she doesn’t shy away from talking about how hard it was. It was a difficult book to read, but a beautiful one as well. This one is a must on audio, too!

Runner-Up: The World Record Book of Racist Stories by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar

Superlatives

The Most Disappointing DNF

The Celebrants by Steven Rowley – I loved Rowley’s previous novel The Guncle, and I had hoped his newest release would have the same magic as that book. But this one just didn’t. I tried this on audio and gave up after a few hours. I just didn’t love any of the characters and the story felt convoluted. And with its low Goodreads rating (3.67 compared to 4.15 for The Guncle), I think I made the right choice to abandon it.

The Most Disappointing Book I Read

Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don’t Want to Forget by Lauren Graham – The reason this book was the most disappointing one I’ve read is because… it started to make me dislike Lauren Graham. Lorelei Gilmore! How can I dislike Lorelei Gilmore?! Alas, it just wasn’t a great set of essays. I think she wrote this book too soon after her breakup with Peter Krause because her signature humor just wasn’t there. I found the collection to be a bit tepid, honestly.

The Book I Was Surprised to Love

The Violin Conspiracy by Brendan Slocumb – Typically, I am not someone who is interested in books about classic music nor am I normally drawn to slow-burn mysteries. But I decided to give this book a shot, since so many of my trusted recommendation sources loved it. And I loved it, too! It was such a compelling story and somehow, Brendan Slocumb made me care deeply about his main character and his precious violin. I found myself on the edge of my seat until the end, and I found the ending to be particularly poignant and lovely.

The Book I Thought I Would Love More Than I Did

Kill Show by Daniel Sweren-Becker – I had such high hopes for this novel. It sounded so interesting: an oral history of the disappearance of a teenage girl and the TV docu-series that followed along. But it just didn’t work for me. It was hard to be invested in the mystery when everything was revealed early on, and some of the commentary on the true crime genre felt heavy-handed.

Most Deserving of the Hype

The Measure by Nikki Erlick – This novel came out in 2022 and I heard a lot of buzz about it, but it sat on my TBR list for a while. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read a novel that had such a heavy premise. (One day, everyone finds a box on their doorstep. Inside the box is a string that indicates how long—or short—your life will be.) But this book was so, so good! I loved it and highly recommend it.

Least Deserving of the Hype

Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak – Gah. This book was awful. It was filled with fatphobia, which is just uncalled for in 2022 (when this book was published). And the ending was so over-the-top and fat-fetched; it didn’t work for me. It somehow won a Goodreads Choice Award for Best Horror in 2022 and has a 4.14 rating, which I just do not understand.

The Book I Loved That Other People Hated

If We’re Being Honest by Cat Shook – This book has a 3.5-star rating on Goodreads, which is very low for Goodreads. But I really liked this novel! It’s one of those large family stories where everyone converges for an event, and we learn about the inner lives and secrets and lies of different members of the family. I thought it was a well-written, well-paced, and well-plotted book.

The Book I Hated That Other People Loved

The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes – This book has a 4.3 rating on Goodreads but it’s not one that worked well for me. The writing was clunky and the book was poorly structured and way too long. I appreciated the representation elements of this book, but the rest of it didn’t work for me.

The Underrated Gem of the Year

Like a House on Fire by Lauren McBrayer – With less than 4,000 ratings on Goodreads, this book qualifies as my underrated gem of the year. I thoroughly enjoyed this book (and so did everyone in my book club!) and thought it was such an interesting love story.

Favorite Reading Experience of the Year

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith – This year, the wonderful Engie hosted our first-ever Cool Bloggers Book Club when we read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. For many of us, this was a reread and it was so much fun to read this book alongside so many other bloggers. I love this book and I loved our discussions.

What were some of your favorite books of 2023? Or, pick a superlatives category and answer it!

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2023 | A Month-by-Month Recap

JANUARY

I went to my first meeting of Silent Book Club Tampa with my friend Amber and it was such a wonderful experience! It was so nice to be surrounded by bookish people and to have a solid hour of quiet time to read my book.
I had a doctor’s appointment from hell. I wanted to get my meds adjusted because my anxiety was feeling overwhelming but instead, the doctor I saw wanted to talk to me about my weight (and even said he recommended Ozempic for weight loss!!!). After that appointment, I immediately scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist and it was the best decision. My psychiatrist is kind and warm and helpful. She increased my Lexapro dose (from 20 mgs to 30 mgs), which provided a vast improvement.
Playoff January – I love January because I get a ton of family time thanks to all of the playoff games. We try to watch them all, which is a lot during the first two weeks, as there are multiple games on Saturdays and Sundays. The Dolphins were in the playoffs but lost in the first round, which is par for the course.
We published season 3 of our podcast, which was all about relationships.

FEBRUARY

My mom, my brother, and I went to see Jim Gaffigan live. It was the best night!
My nephew’s favorite team, the Chiefs, won the Super Bowl so he was very happy!
Bri and I had our 8th annual Galentine’s Day date at The Library where we dressed up, had fancy drinks, and great food.
I went on my first date with the woman I would end up dating for five months. We had coffee at this cute place, but I did not realize they did not have inside seating so we sat outside and froze a little, as it was a colder day than we expected. Brr!

March

My friend Amber and I took a knife skills class at Sur La Table, which was a lot of fun! (And made me really want to buy an expensive knife to make chopping much easier!)
Chip turned 5 and Lucy turned 2, and I took them both on PetSmart shopping sprees for their birthdays! They were mostly anxious about being there, so it wasn’t as cute as I was hoping, but they got some fun items out of it!
My uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer this month, and it was a devastating blow to my family.
We launched season 4 of the podcast where we talked all about our work lives! It was really fun.
I had lots of fun dates and we made things official near the end of the month. Squee!

April

I saw TAYLOR SWIFT! She was incredible. One of the most amazing days of my life.
My mom and I went to a local u-pick farm to pick flowers. It was disgustingly hot but we had a great time and went out for lunch afterward.
I was on dogsitting duty for five days while my mom and stepdad went on a cruise. We had a fun time together!
This was a busy month for me between fun events, dates with my girlfriend, and work… social burnout definitely affected my mental health.
I went brunette! This was a super fun change that I had been thinking about for a long time.
Eloise turned 5!

May

My new bed arrived and it was so nice to finally sleep on a non-lumpy mattress! My brother is the one who delivered and set up my mattress (+ my new bed frame), and it was cool to see him in the middle of a random weekday!
I celebrated Mother’s Day with my mom, my stepdad, and my brother. After breakfast, my mom and I visited Grandma’s grave and brought her flowers.
I had to get two moles removed from my back, which entailed 7 stitches and a lot of pain. I was so happy to get those stitches out two weeks later so I could finally itch my back as much as I wanted!
I spent Memorial Day at my mom’s house where we enjoyed a good amount of pool time with the dogs and then Robert cooked us a hearty lunch of grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. It was the perfect way to kick off summertime!
Lila turned 5!

June

I participated in Pride for the first time ever! I did a Pride-themed photoshoot with my then-girlfriend to announce our relationship on Instagram (and thus, announce my sexuality to the world!) and went to the parade with her. We had to leave early because she started feeling terrible (the heat was killer!), so in 2024, I desperately want to see the actual parade, too.
For my mom’s belated Mother’s Day gift, we went to a DIY crafting night where we made gorgeous creations. I made a lazy susan and my mom made a sign for her front porch. The crafting was nearly foolproof, which was good news for these girls that aren’t super crafty.
I spent more weekend afternoons at my mom’s house, cooling off in the pool with the dogs. Chip loved jumping on and off our rafts (when the raft got close enough to the edge, so he could jump on/off easily) and even started to get the hang of swimming himself. Lucy just wanted to run around and get dirty, sigh.
Bri and I celebrated nine years of friendship with a lovely lady date to Fairgrounds St. Pete, this super kitschy museum that was all dressed up for Pride.
We released season 5 of the podcast: all about traveling! This one was especially fun because our friend Amber, who runs a travel business, came on the podcast to talk about work travel and how she plans travel for people.
After many weeks of chemo and radiation, my uncle was declared cancer-free and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

July

My mom and I took a quick weekend trip to Charleston, South Carolina. We had such a great time! We did a ferry tour, viewed the fort, saw Rainbow Row, took a ghost tour, and ate lots of good food.
My blog went down for 36 hours due to my site being infected with malware. I was so sad and worried that I had lost everything, but thankfully, I was able to get the malware removed and my site was fine!
I had a LASIK consultation and learned I was a perfect candidate for the traditional procedure! And thus began weeks of trying to decide if I really wanted to spend the money on the procedure.
I saw Barbie twice this month! The best movie.
At the end of the month, I broke up with my girlfriend. It was the hardest and easiest decision for me; hard because I didn’t want to hurt her or lose her as a friend, but easy because I knew it was the right thing to do.

August

I took the month off blogging, which I needed for my mental health and to process my breakup. It was a good month off, although I desperately missed writing!
My mom, my stepdad, and I went river tubing and had the BEST time! The weather was hot, the water was cold, and spending two hours just slowly floating down a river while enjoying the sunshine was perfection.
We had family in town and spent a lovely weekday evening catching up with them over dinner at the beach, and then we went down to the beach to watch the sunset.
I started seeing a dietician and she has been WONDERFUL. She has really helped me better understand what I need from my diet and unearth some of my diet culture tendencies.
There was a DOLPHIN in the canal near my mom’s house, which was wild.

September

I got my third tattoo, which I had been wanting to get for a long time: something to commemorate my grandma who died in 2015. I am so happy with the way it turned out, although the healing process was a bitch.
We found out that my uncle’s cancer had returned, metastasized to his brain, and there was very little we could do for him. It was a devastating blow to our family.
I got a raise at work, and I’m super proud of this raise because not only did I work hard for it, but I also fought hard for it. I knew what I was worth and I didn’t stop asking for this raise until it was mine.
We released season 6 of the podcast where we did more deep dives on personality frameworks.

October

I returned to Silent Book Club after taking a few months off due to scheduling issues, and it was so delightful to be back.
I got my Covid + flu vaccines at the same time and had no side effects. Astonishing!
I got LASIK! My recovery was pretty easy; I was able to notice a difference in my vision almost immediately!
I went to my mom’s house to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters and we had a record-low number! Such a disappointment.

November

I participated in NaBloPoMo for the third year in a row. Writing a blog post every day (and keeping up with other people writing a blog post every day) is not for the faint of heart!
I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family – my cousin hosted and my uncle was able to join us for a bit of time before he got too tired and needed to rest.
I turned 36 at the end of November and celebrated with a Day of Stephany: there was a facial, a bookstore shopping trip, and dinner with my family, among other things
I got the cutest pet portraits done of Dutch, my beloved dog who passed away in 2018, and the girls. They have a prominent place in my home and I love them so much!
We released season 7 of the podcast, which was all about mental health and personal growth. I’m particularly proud of these episodes!

December

The hardest part of this month: My uncle died on December 12th. It was shocking to lose him so soon. We were really hoping he would make it through the holidays.
For my birthday, my bestie Bri gifted me a ticket to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party at Disney World. It was such a generous gift and we had the best time together!
I had my first illness of the year with a head cold that moved into my chest. Oof. Do not recommend.
I enjoyed the holiday season to the fullest! I decorated my apartment, went to see the lights, decorated Christmas cookies, and so much more.
I spent the last week of the year in Tennessee with my mom, stepdad, and the dogs. We had a wonderful time and loved living that winter cabin life!

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2023 | End-of-Year Survey

Hi, friends! I have another Best of 2023 post for you guys today—my annual end-of-year survey! I started doing this survey years ago (I wish I could credit the original author!), and I have added and removed many questions throughout the years. I love that this survey allows me to reflect on the year and also remember all of the good things that happened that I want to remember.

1) What did you do in 2023 that you’ve never done before?

Got LASIK
Attended a murder mystery party
Saw TAYLOR SWIFT in concert
Attended a Pride parade
Made pottery
Fed a zebra

2) Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

3) Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, we lost my uncle on December 12th.

4) What places did you visit?

Charleston, South Carolina in July and Gatlinburg, Tennessee in December.

5) What would you like to have in 2024 that you didn’t have in 2023?

Better sleep habits, a longer attention span, and less worrying about my mom.

6) What dates from 2023 will be etched in your memory forever?

The day my uncle died. I will never forget waking up to that text from my cousin.

I’ll also never forget the day I got LASIK!

7) What was your biggest achievement this year?

I really got a handle on my anxiety in 2023! Reading through my line-a-day journal, my entries from the end of 2022/beginning of 2023 tell a story of immense anxiety and panic attacks. All I wanted from 2023 was to feel less impacted by my anxiety disorder, and I am proud to say that’s how I feel as 2024 begins. I started seeing a psychiatrist who changed up my meds, went to regular therapy, and really committed to the work of helping myself. What helped the most? Probably medication, if I’m being honest, but talk therapy also helped me better understand my tendency to spiral.

8) What was your biggest challenge?

I struggled with inertia and laziness this year. I wasn’t able to meet some of the fitness-related goals I set for myself because I just lost the motivation to do any of them.

9) Did you suffer from illness or injury?

I was diagnosed with scalp psoriasis, which entails treating the affected areas with a topical steroid multiple times a week. I had a head cold in December. I had to get two moles removed, which entailed stitches and left the area very tender for a few weeks. And plantar fasciitis reared its ugly head.

10) What was the best thing you bought?

My big beautiful bed! I waited a long time to get a new bed, but it is just so comfortable and cozy.

11) Where did most of your money go?

Rent and food.

12) What did you get really, really excited about?

I always get excited before traveling, so I had lots of anticipation leading up to my trips to South Carolina and Tennessee. And I got excited during the holiday season, when things were going well during my relationship, and for book club adventures.

13) What authors did you discover in 2023?

Here are some of the best debut authors I read in 2023:

Brendan Slocumb – The Violin Conspiracy and his follow-up Symphony of Secrets
Kate Spencer – In a New York Minute
Jessica George – Maame
Falon Ballard – Just My Type
TJ Newman – Falling and her follow-up Drowning
Cat Shook – If We’re Being Honest
Lauren McBrayer – Like a House on Fire

14) What do you wish you had done more of?

I wish I had said yes to plans with friends more often, gone on more walks outside, played with the cats more, and saved more money.

15) What do you wish you had done less of?

Less worrying about situations that have not happened or that I have no control over. I also wish I had done less revenge bedtime procrastination.

16) How did you spend Christmas?

Well, Christmas Day was spent quite differently than usual because I spent it alone at home, getting prepared for my TN trip. But Christmas Eve was fun! I went over to my mom’s around 11 and my brother and his family came over shortly after me. We had a hearty lunch and then opened presents. I was so spoiled this year, including with a brand-new Chromebook that I’m typing this post on. Afterward, we had dessert and then my brother and his family left. I stayed because later that night, we had reservations at a fancy steakhouse so we enjoyed some seriously good food to end the day!

17) What was your favorite TV program?

So many good ones this year, but I think Jury Duty was hands-down one of the best TV experiences for me in 2023. There is no one on the planet like Ronald! What a unique concept!

18) What did you want and get?

I wanted my anxiety disorder to be more stable, and I got that.

I wanted to go on more dates and while I only ended up going on three first dates, I did have a lovely five-month relationship with a wonderful person. I’m glad I got to have that this year!

I wanted to have a better relationship with food and I definitely put in the work to get there. I started working with a dietician and have learned so much about how to fuel my body in a satisfying and nourishing way.

19) What did you want and not get?

I wanted better nighttime habits and that continued to be a struggle.

I wanted long-term romantic love and that didn’t work out for me.

I wanted to reach out to friends more and I didn’t do that.

20) What was your favorite film of 2023?

BARBIE! I saw it twice in theaters.

21) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 36 this year and I celebrated with a Day of Stephany. I slept in, met my mom for lunch, went to the bookstore and bought two books, went to Starbucks for my free birthday drink and to read my book for about an hour, got a facial, and then had dinner with my family in the evening. It was such a lovely day!

22) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had established a better daily routine for myself. I felt all over the place sometimes when it came to my mornings, work schedule, and my nighttime routine. I need to get into a routine that works for me this year.

23) Who kept you sane?

My psychiatrist and therapist? Ha. Mad props to them for listening to me jabber on and on for almost an entire year.

My mom also keeps me sane on a regular basis. The reason I sometimes feel insane is because I’m worrying about her so it always felt like the biggest rush of dopamine to see her face on my phone (through Facetime), healthy and happy and whole, when I’ve been panicking about something happening to her.

24) What are five things you are grateful for this year?

Medication – What an amazing thing is it to have these tiny little pills that can change our mental health dramatically! I am so very grateful that I am able to afford medication and see a psychiatrist that cares deeply about helping me feel better.
Coming out – I finally came out to some friends and family members this year. I’m always so worried about how my bisexuality will affect the way people look at me, but I received nothing but love and support from everyone. Not everyone gets to have that.
New experiences – I have social anxiety, which means even the simplest social event can be super difficult for me. And it means it is tremendously difficult for me to try new things, like attending a new book club. But with a friend at my side, I went to Silent Book Club’s January meeting where I met a whole bunch of new people and got to have delightfully bookish conversation, and I ended up attending their meetings almost every month for the entire year.
Bloglandia – The community we have all collectively built here grows even stronger each year that passes and I am so grateful for all of you. The loneliness episodes I have dealt with are often mitigated when I open up Feedly to see so many blog posts to read and interact with, or when I open up my blog to see comments to respond to. I love this community!
My nutritionist – It has been eye-opening to work with a nutritionist who is anti-diet culture and committed to helping me eat in a way that feels satisfying. She has helped me learn a lot about how to properly fuel my body and give it the nourishment it needs without putting myself on a strict diet.

25) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023.

Trust that your people have your back. One of the scariest parts of coming out is that you don’t know how people will react. Will they be happy for you, or will it forever alter your relationship with them? I was most worried about coming out to my brother because I wasn’t sure how he would react. But every single time I came out, I was met with kindness and grace and happiness. The people in my life want me to be my truest self, and if that includes a queer identity, then let that pride flag fly high. My brother sought me out a week after I came out to him to let me know he was happy for me and there’s nothing I could say to him that would change our relationship. <3

26) What would you rate your level of happiness on a scale of 1-10 this year?

I’d probably give it a 7, which is one point better than last year! On the happiness front, this year was a pretty good one. Sure, I battled my anxiety disorder and dealt with loneliness at times, but overall, I had a good year and I felt happy and whole for the majority of it. I’m grateful I can say that!

27) If you could change one thing that happened this year, what would it be?

My uncle wouldn’t have gotten cancer and he wouldn’t have died a mere 8 months from his diagnosis. Life was so cruel to my family this year.

28) How have you changed over this past year?

I think I’ve settled more into myself this year. Every year, I seem to become more and more comfortable in my skin and this year was no different. Being able to live as my full self has been an amazing gift, one I spent a lot of time dreaming about but never believing I could actually have. And I’ve continued my journey of fat acceptance and enjoying the person I am as she looks today. I’m not shying away from pictures or full-body shots because I don’t want to see myself in that way. That’s just silly. This is what I look like! And I want to have those memories to look back on.

29) How did this year surprise you?

I did not expect to lose my uncle this year, that’s for sure. I didn’t expect to get LASIK. I didn’t expect to be in a relationship throughout the majority of the spring and summer. There was a lot about this year that was surprising, both good and bad. But, of course, the biggest surprise was my uncle’s cancer diagnosis and death. We did not expect to lose him so soon.

30) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

What’s a life lesson you learned in 2023?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2023 | Wrapping Up My 2023 Goals

APARTMENT (3/5 complete)

1) Move to a two-bedroom apartment – Not complete. I ended up staying in my one-bedroom apartment for at least another year because my rent didn’t increase this year.

2) Hire movers for my move – N/A

3) Change up my entryway – Complete!

4) Buy a new mattress and bedframe – Complete!

5) Create a favorite books bookshelf. Complete!

HEALTH (1/5 complete)

1) Go for a walk every day – Not complete. My percentage was pretty pitiful.

2) Complete 100 Peloton workouts – I only managed around 60ish Peloton workouts this year. Another pitiful attempt.

3) Drink at least one bottle (16 oz) of water every day – Not complete. Your girl was struggling in this category.

4) Get a sleep study done – Not complete. I never made an appointment with my PCP to get a referral.

5) Research my options for LASIK. Complete! And I went ahead with the surgery, too! I have new eyeballs!

6) Establish a better morning and nighttime routine. Not complete. This is definitely something I want to focus on in 2024. (Of course, I said this in 2023, so…)

MONEY (0/4 complete)

1) Have $3,000 saved in my CapitalOne emergency fund and $500 in my bank emergency fund by the end of the year. Not complete.

2) Switch to a rewards credit card. Not complete.

3) Start doing monthly budget recaps again. Not complete.

4) Donate $50 to the following three charities every quarter: Friends of Strays, the Tampa Bay Abortion Fund, and CASA. Not complete.

HOBBIES (5/7 complete)

1) Read 100 books. (116/100) Crushed this goal.

2) Complete the A-Z reading challenge. (26/26) Complete! Huge thank you to Engie for helping me find books for some of the harder letters like V and Z.

3) Publish podcast seasons regularly throughout the year. Complete! We released season 3 in January/February, season 4 in March/April, season 5 in June/July, season 6 in September/October, and season 7 in November/December.

4) Post to our podcast Instagram three times per week while we’re in season and twice per week when we’re not. Not complete. A big podcast goal for me in 2024!

5) Complete my blog categorization project. Complete! I am finished with this massive project. It took me two years!

6) Host a silent reading night. Complete. I did not host a silent reading night, but I did start attending Silent Book Club.

7) Watch 6 movies and 6 standup specials. (9/12) Not complete. I watched six movies but fell short with just three stand-up specials. (Bri and I were supposed to see Taylor Tomlinson in November but the show got postponed to April since she fell ill.)

MOVIES

Glass Onion ★★★☆☆
Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret ★★★★★
The Little Mermaid ★★★★★
Clue ★★★★☆
Barbie ★★★★★
Red, White, and Royal Blue ★★★★☆

STAND-UPS

Jim Gaffigan (live) ★★★★☆
Michelle Wolf: Joke Show ★★★★☆
John Mulaney: Baby J ★★★★★

FUN STUFF (7/8 complete)

1) Go tubing at Rainbow Springs. Complete! I went in August with my mom and stepdad and had the best time.

2) Take a knife skills class. Complete! It was so much fun!

3) Learn how to French braid. Complete.

4) Visit one new state. Complete. I visited South Carolina in early July and Tennessee in December.

5) Get a tattoo. Complete. I got this done at the end of September – yay!

6) See a Dolphins game in person. Not complete.

7) Complete Project 365. Complete!

8) Go on at least 5 first dates. Complete! I went on three first dates and one of those first dates morphed into a five-month relationship, so I’m counting this as complete.

Alright, so what did we learn from my 2023 goals? I love completing home, hobbies, and fun goals. I do not love completing health and money goals! Or maybe it’s easier for me to complete the more exciting goals and I need a new strategy for completing the goals that require a little more from me. I’ve been thinking about moving from monthly goals to quarterly goals in 2024, and that might be a good place to put these health/money goals so I can break them into something more manageable for me—and I can reassess at the end of each quarter how the goal has worked for me and what may need to be changed.

In any event, in 2023, I completed 16 of 29 goals, or 55%. That’s an F average in school but let’s take the optimist’s lens with this percentage—I completed more than half of the goals I set for myself this year! I never set my yearly goals with the intention that I’ll complete all of them, so I’m happy with what I accomplished this year. Lots of fun goals achieved and I’m excited to set more fun goals in 2024.

How did you do with your 2023 goals, if you set them?