Stephany Writes

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2016 | My Top 10 Books

It’s time to reveal my top 10 reads of 2016! With 95 books to choose from, it was hard to whittle this down to just 10 that I absolutely loved. There’s nonfiction, there’s romance, there’s fiction, there’s chick-lit, there’s dystopian. In short, there’s something for everyone on this list. I hope at least one or two of these jumps out to you as something to read in 2017. These books will be worth your while, I promise.

top10books

10) Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

I really feel like this book is a must-read for any creative. I love the way Gilbert approaches creativity and art, and it’s a book I can see myself returning to again and again whenever I need to be inspired. I wrote a post detailing the five lessons I learned from this book because it had such a strong impact on me and my art.

9) The Distance from A to Z by Natalie Blitt

This was a really sweet YA romance that I reviewed for a friend. I am so glad I was given the chance to read this delightful novel because it made such an impact on me that it’s one of my favorite books of the year! It follows the romance between Abby and Zeke during their time in a French intensive course during the summer and their love story just made me so darn happy. I devoured this book in 24 hours and now I am waiting on pins and needles for the author’s next release.

8) The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney

This novel has gotten so many mixed reviews, but count me among one of the people who really loved it. The characters were wholly unlikable and their family dynamic was incredibly dysfunctional, but there was something totally relatable about the novel. The premise is that there are four siblings and they all have been waiting for the day when they’ll get a multimillion-dollar payday from their trust fund (aptly called “The Nest”). Unfortunately, before that can happen, one of the siblings is involved in a car accident with a woman who is not his wife and when the woman is badly injured, the family has to use a portion of “The Nest” to pay her off. Obviously, this reaps a lot of selfish feelings and annoyances from the other siblings who were counting on the payday for various reasons. I know this novel isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but man, it was a book I could not put down or stop thinking about. I hated and loved these four siblings and thought this was a brilliant debut by Sweeney.

7) A Place to Stand by Jimmy Santiago Baca

This book was such a hard read, but I am so glad I read it. It was one of the books I read this year for Postal Book Club, and I remember how I kept putting it off and putting it off because I knew it would be difficult. And it was. Jimmy Santiago Baca lived a hard life. He was abandoned by his parents at the age of 10, thrust into an orphanage, and by 14, he was living on the streets and getting into lots of trouble. At the age of 21, he was convicted on drug charges and served six-and-a-half years in prison. It was during his time in prison that he learned to read and write and began writing poetry. At times, the book made me uncomfortable and broke my heart, so I had to set it down and step away. But, even so, there was something profoundly beautiful about Baca’s story. It showed the power of the human spirit and how we can persevere even when life looks bleak and hopeless.

6) The One & Only by Emily Giffin

This is probably the best Giffin novel I’ve read, and I realize I’m alone in this opinion. For some reason, this novel has gotten terrible reviews, and while I can understand why, it was one of my favorite books of the year. I loved all of the football talk, I loved the blossoming relationship, and I loved the setting. It follows the story of Shea after tragedy strikes her small town and everything she thought she knew about life and love is upended. She questions herself, her path, and what she thought she wanted from her life. I wish the relationship between Shea and her best friend Lucy was stronger (Giffin tends to write contentious female friendships, and it bugs the hell out of me!), but it was still such a fantastic read. I couldn’t put this novel down for anything.

5) November 9 by Colleen Hoover

This is the kind of book that makes me want to totally give up on my dream of writing because there is no possible way I could ever write a book as amazing as this one! No way I could write characters who feel so real! It was the kind of book that I couldn’t stop thinking about and made me want to put my entire life on hold until I finished it. It was just. so. good. I love, love, love Colleen Hoover. This novel took so many twists and turns and I was on the edge of my seat until the very end, wanting to know if everything would fall into place.

4) In the Country We Love: My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero

I have a lot of nonfiction in my top 10 reads for this year, but this one was easily my favorite of the bunch. Diane’s story is heart-wrenching and difficult to read, but it’s so important, especially right now with everything that’s happening in politics. At the age of 14, Diane’s parents were deported, leaving her – a U.S. citizen – alone in America. She depended on the kindness of friends and their families to help her through high school, giving her a place to stay and food to eat. The courage and vulnerability that had to take just blows my mind. In the end, this is Diane’s memoir, but it’s also a call to action about immigration. It really opened my eyes to what immigrants go through and how easily they are taken advantage of. If there’s any book you read from this list, please let it be this one.

3) Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye

This book was so, so, so fun to read. It was pitched to me as a retelling of Jane Eyre, but people who have actually read Jane Eyre said it’s not so much a retelling as a homage. It basically envisions Jane as a serial killer, righting the wrongs of citizens. Eventually, Jane ends up at her old childhood home, a place she believes is rightfully hers, after the new owner, the suave Charles Thornefield, puts out an advertisement seeking a governess. This book was such a delight and I want everyone I know to read it. (My book club is reading this for January, and if any of them don’t love the novel as much as I do, I’ll be completely heartbroken.)

2) The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen

I recently reviewed this book, so this one is probably fresh in everyone’s mind. I loved this novel so much. I’m actually going to use a gift card I received for my birthday to purchase the next book in the series. It was such an incredible read and I would just love an ounce of Johansen’s creativity. This world she envisioned is so detailed and perfectly written. It’s a dystopian novel that follows 19-year-old Kelsea as she becomes queen of a nation in disarray. She has to learn the ropes of being queen quickly and makes a ton of mistakes along the way. It’s a brilliantly written book and it’s another one I want everyone to read so we can discuss. (Oh! It is also going to be a movie and Emma Watson is starring as Kelsea. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!)

1) The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Honestly, I couldn’t name any book other than this one as my favorite of the year. I can’t remember the last time I had such a fun time reading a novel, and I don’t understand how this is her first novel. (What?!) The characters were outstanding, the plot was fun, and I had happy butterflies in my stomach the entire time I was reading it. It’s a typical romance novel, but ugh, it’s really so much more than that. It’s about two coworkers, Lucy and Josh, who hate each other and are vying for the same promotion. In order to work together somewhat peacefully, they’ve devised a series of passive-aggressive games to get through the workday. And then Lucy starts to realize that maybe she doesn’t hate Josh. Maybe, just maybe, she’s totally in love with him.

What was the best book you read this year?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2016 | Reading Stats

My last two posts for my “Best of 2016” series are going to be all about reading, which shouldn’t surprise anyone since it’s my number-one hobby. This year was a fantastic reading year for me and I’m currently reading my 95th book. As I am fairly confident I will finish the book by Saturday, I’m going to say that’s my final number. 95 books! That’s insane. That’s a lot of books to read in a year.

Reading is a priority for me, but I also have a lot of free time to devote to it and I use my free time wisely. Also, I’m not in a relationship and I don’t have little children to take care of and I’m a homebody who requires a lot of alone time to remain sane, so it’s pretty easy to see how I’ve read so many books.

So, without further ado, I present this year’s reading stats:

How many books read? 95

How many pages read? 33,535 pages

What percentage of books were in print? E-books? Audiobooks?

  • Print: 38%
  • E-books: 62%
  • Audiobooks: 0%

How many books did you buy? 8 books

How much money did you spend on books? $52.22

Detail the genre breakdown by percentage.

  • Romance: 53%
  • Fiction: 22%
  • Nonfiction: 11%
  • Fantasy: 7%
  • YA: 5%
  • Science fiction: 1%
  • Mystery: 1%

How many diverse books did you read? 26 books, so 27%. Last year, 19% of the books I read were diverse, so I’m happy that my number has increased, even if it is still such a small percentage of my overall total.

Where did you get your books (library, Amazon, Overdrive, bookstore, etc.)?

  • Overdrive: 49%
  • Library: 21%
  • Friend: 12%
  • Amazon: 12%
  • TLC Book Tours: 5%
  • Target: 1%

What month did you read the most? The least? I read the most books in a month in September when I read 12 books. August was my lowest reading month at 6 books.

How many pages was the biggest book you read? The shortest? The biggest book was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at 870 pages. The shortest book was Be My Love by Lucy Kevin at 200 pages.

How many books did you finish in less than 24 hours? 12

What book took you the longest to read, and how long did it take you? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, no surprise there! It took me 13 days to read.

How many books did you abandon over the course of the year? 9

It was actually fairly simple to compile my stats, as I keep a detailed spreadsheet of all the books I read with accompanying categories, like genre, date started and finished, number of pages, rating, where I got the book, price (if I paid for it), etc. I am happy to send along that spreadsheet to anyone interested in analyzing their reading this way. It’s super nerdy, and I love it.

I also wanted to take the time to outline the books my book club read this year, for anyone who is curious (starred books are the ones I suggested):

How many books did you read this year?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2016 | Blog Posts

This was quite the year of blogging for me. I wrote 106 posts, consistently increased my monthly pageviews, and toyed with the idea of monetization by writing sponsored posts and using affiliate links. (In the end, I decided the monetization route just isn’t for me. Even affiliate links make me feel icky.)

I’m really proud of the writing I did this year. My goal was to write a lot more personal essays and to really put a lot of effort into the posts I was publishing, and I think I did that. I wrote posts that I was scared to publish, either because the topic felt a little controversial or the post made me feel super vulnerable, and that’s always a sign that I’m writing from my heart.

The top reason why people find my blog is still people searching for information about being an introvert with social anxiety, and I’m happy to be a voice for those who want answers. (I’m planning on writing a lot more about this topic in 2017, so get ready!) And a blog post of mine was picked up by a very popular website, and I can’t wait to share that with everyone soon! (I’m still in a state of shock, so bear with me.)

As I have done for the past three years, I wanted to share some of my most favorite blog posts from the year. It was really hard to narrow this list down to just eight posts because I felt like I wrote some really strong personal essays this year (#humblebrag), but here’s the list!

1) My favorite post was Healthy Living Shifts and Changes

“I just want more from my life. Food is meant for fuel, but it is also meant to be enjoyed. That is, essentially, what it is biologically designed to do. When I’m counting calories or measuring out specific servings, food becomes less about enjoyment and more about punishment. It turns eating into a moral dilemma, and makes me feel as if I’m being a good, disciplined person when I eat healthy foods and a bad, unmotivated person when I opt for the more fattening or carb-heavy foods.”

2) My most popular post was Chronic Singleness, Shame, and Accepting What Is

“Perhaps my reason for being chronically single is that this was just the path I was meant to take. Maybe it’s as simple as that. It doesn’t mean anything about me personally. Maybe I was only meant to have one or two serious, long-term relationships in my life and it just hasn’t happened for me yet, but it will in the future.”

3) My most helpful post was Lessons Learned From Writing 1,000 Blog Posts

“Rules don’t exist. Your blog can have a niche, but it doesn’t have to. You can write five days a week, or you can write whenever you feel like it. You can make perfect Pinterest pinnable images for every post, but it’s not necessary. Follow the rules that feel good and authentic to the type of blogger you are and forget the rest.”

4) A post whose success surprised me was A Week Without Dairy (<– received the second-most page views of posts written this year! WUT.)

“Last week, I eliminated dairy from my life and it led to some really interesting epiphanies on my end. First of all, I never realized how much dairy I consume on a daily basis.”

5) A post I didn’t feel got the attention it deserved was 5 Lessons Learned from Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

“It’s very hard for me to separate who I am from my writing, because I often feel that I am my writing. But that’s not true – I am so much more than my writing. My novel is not my baby. I do not need to place my work on this pedestal, believing it is the best thing that could possibly be written. Because what happens if someone suggests a change? Or it gets rejected? Without understanding that this novel is just a novel – it is my novel, yes, but really, it’s just a novel – I won’t be able to handle that.”

6) My most beautiful post was For the Love of Writing

“What makes me more of a success: not writing because I’m scared I’ll never get a publishing deal thus rendering all my hard work meaningless? Or writing and working hard and chasing after that dream and living life full-out, knowing that it is all too possible that I’ll never get the publishing deal I want?”

7) The post I was most scared to push publish on was Motivation is a Myth

“And isn’t it interesting how we’re always waiting for motivation to just… show up… to give us permission to do the thing we want to do? If we’re not feeling motivated to do that thing, oh well then! Guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

8) The post I am most proud of was Sad, But Not Defeated

“But let me be clear: I am not upset because a Republican won. I am upset because hate won. I am upset that someone who ran on a platform of bigotry and hate, someone who thinks sexual assault is a joke, won. I am upset that he won.”

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2016 | A Month-by-Month Review

It’s amazing how quickly a year passes, isn’t it? I feel like it wasn’t too long ago that I was ringing in 2016 and hopeful for what this year had in store. And soon, we will ring in 2017 and my hopefulness remains. I can’t wait to see where this next year takes me – new travel locales, career growth, better health, exciting romance? Who knows. I’m just going to buckle in and enjoy each and every loop the year takes me through. That’s all we can do, right?

Last year, I looked back on my year with a month-by-month review and I had such a fun time doing it, I knew I had to bring this back again for my “Best of 2016” series. Here’s what 2016 looked like in my world:

jan2016

In January, I was social

I rang in the new year with friends, champagne, and sparklers in downtown Tampa, and then spent most of the month busy with outings and events. At the end of the month, I developed an awful head cold that laid me out for two days straight (wherein I watched fifteen episodes of Gilmore Girls back-to-back), which was my body’s way of telling me to slow the hell down.

feb2016

In February, I was anxious

It was a tough month, and I was sad for the majority of it. I was living inside my anxiety for most of the month, unsure of what caused the episode or how to drag myself out of it. I was also continuing to deal with my chronic congestion, which I had been struggling with since October, and ended up going dairy-free for a week to see if that was the culprit. (Verdict: no.)

mar2016

In March, I was delighted

I took a weekend cruise to Mexico with my best friend, mom, and stepdad where I had the most amazing snorkeling experience ever. I went on some great dates (nothing that panned out, but it gave me feelings of hope and happiness!) And I celebrated International Women’s Day with sangria and tapas with my girlfriends.

apr2016

In April, I was busy

April was the month of all of the plans. I had a writing sleepover with a friend, painted a house for a family in need with my coworkers, spent a long day in Orlando with friends, instituted weekly date nights with my roommate, and saw a ton of movies. At the end of April, I was grumpy and overstimulated and needed some serious downtime.

may2016

In May, I was frugal

I took on a no-buy month in May, only spending money on necessary expenses. I was successful and ended the month feeling really proud of myself for finishing the challenge. I also walked a 5k in Lakeland with my mom, enjoyed a brunch potluck with friends, rode in a surrey downtown, and celebrated a friend’s birthday.

jun2016

In June, I was introspective

June was the month for writing, and I wrote a lot of deep, introspective essays that I’m really proud of. I wrote about chronic singleness, motivation when it comes to our goals, and the benefits of alone time. I also had lots of heartfelt conversations with friends, opening up about my social anxiety and shyness. In June, the Pulse shooting in Orlando happened and that rocked me to my core because it happened so close to me. I participated in a painting night at my local Painting With a Twist that benefited the victims of this horrific massacre.

jul2016

In July, I was stressed

My roommate had decided to move in with her boyfriend, so I made the decision to move back to St. Pete and to an apartment of my own. I never really enjoyed living in Tampa and just wanted to be back on the “right” side of the bridge. I had a little less than two months to find an apartment, but I knew exactly where I wanted to live and it was a stressful time waiting for an apartment to come available and snag it in time (the apartments in this complex are usually gone within a few hours of being posted!). I also started hustling after freelance work to help pay for the move, which was also pretty stressful. All in all, July was a tough month.

aug2016

In August, I was productive

August was a busy month for me! I spent it decluttering my apartment and preparing for my move. I also did a lot of shopping because there was so much I needed for my new apartment. In addition, my freelance business picked up so any extra time was spent working on writing projects. I was invited to join my work’s fantasy football league, which I happily joined, and had a Mary-Kate & Ashley Movie Night with some girlfriends.

sept2016

In September, I was happy

I moved into my own apartment in September, a move that was seamless and easy in ways I could have never predicted. I had a lot of help from my family, which was much appreciated, and settled into this new life quickly and happily. I took a break from blogging and being on social media, celebrated a ton of birthdays, and signed a regular freelance client.

oct2016

In October, I was absorbed

I started a huge writing project that entailed spending most of my weeknights and weekends working, leaving me in a state of frenzy and stress. My mom had a few minor medical procedures that required anesthesia and me taking care of her. Thankfully, all of her procedures were just normal exams to make sure she was healthy and we received no bad news from them – whew. It was a stressful time, but I was really glad I could be there for my mom afterward since her husband was on the road at the time.

nov2016

In November, I traveled

I took two trips in November: a girlfriends’ weekend away in The Villages, a retirement community in central Florida, and a five-day Caribbean cruise with my mom. Both trips were so very needed and so very fun. I turned 29 while on my cruise, celebrating on the beautiful island of Grand Cayman. I also enjoyed Thanksgiving with my extended family, feeling filled up with warmth and love.

dec2016

In December, I was content

December was a busy month, as it always seems to be. There were tons of Christmas parties to attend and shopping to do. But even in the midst of the crazy, I was content. I felt happy with my life and the way 2016 was ending for me. I had a low-key Christmas with my family and plan to ring in the new year at home. Other good things about December: winning my fantasy football league (what?! Li’l ole me?) and my beloved Dolphins clinching a playoff spot for the first time since 2008. Wahoo!

What were some of the emotions you experienced in 2016?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2016 | End-of-Year Survey

Hooray! It is time to look back on the year with my “Best of 2016” posts. This is the third year of doing these posts and it’s just so fun for me to put them together. I’m kicking off the series with an end-of-year survey that I completed last year. I love filling this out and thinking back on the high points and low points of the year. I have to say: 2016 was a pretty good year for me. There is very little to complain about, which is the first time in a very long time that I can say that. I hope this is just an upward trend and the years get better and better from here on out.

1) What did you do in 2016 that you’ve never done before?

I lived on my own. I love my little apartment and love that it’s a space that is totally and completely my own. I can be as messy or as neurotically clean as I want to be; there’s nobody to answer to. It’s really fun!

2) Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No, not really. I gave up on them about halfway through the year. And yes, I plan on making a few resolutions for 2016. Can’t stop, won’t stop, with new year’s resolutions!

img_3802

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?

One of my good friends did – her baby boy arrived the day after my birthday, so we’re basically twinsies.

4) Did anyone close to you die?

No, thankfully.

5) What places did you visit?

I went to Cozumel, The Villages, Grand Cayman, and Jamaica. I didn’t do a ton of travel this year, but it was enough for me.

img_1935

img_3778

img_4091

6) What would you like to have in 2017 that you didn’t have in 2016?

I’d like to have romantic love. 2016 has a lot of painful memories regarding dating and romance, and I’d like 2017 to be vastly different.

7) What dates from 2016 will be etched in your memory forever?

September 2 – the day I got the keys to my very own apartment

img_3232

8) What was your biggest achievement this year?

Moving into my own apartment and handling the transition from living with a roommate to living alone with grace. I’m so, so happy to be living alone!

9) What was your biggest failure?

I don’t feel like I made enough impact with my finances. I wanted to have a $1,000 emergency fund saved up and I wasn’t able to do that. Also, didn’t lose the weight again. Womp.

10) Did you suffer from illness or injury?

I got sick a few times over the course of the year, as well as dealt with chronic congestion for the first quarter of the year. No injuries, though!

11) What was the best thing you bought?

Probably my coffeemaker! It is just one of those standard, 12-cup coffeemakers and was, like, $17. It has brought me so much joy, though!

12) Where did most of your money go?

It went to moving costs and new things I needed for my apartment. This was the exact same answer I gave last year, so my hope for 2017 is that I can change this answer to something more exciting, like travel.

13) What did you get really, really excited about?

Dating. I had some really hopeful dating experiences this year that gave me lots of butterflies and happiness.

img_2839

14) What song will always remind you of 2016?

Meh, I don’t know. I’m not a huge music person.

15) Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer?

I am happier, not thinner nor fatter, and richer.

16) What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had traveled more or had at least visited one new U.S. state. My travel inside the U.S. is abysmal and I want to change that.

img_3993

17) What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying – about finances, about dating, about my future.

18) How did you spend Christmas?

I had a very low-key Christmas! I spent the night at my mom’s house (my stepdad is currently on the road). We slept in, opened presents around 10:30, and went for a long walk. Around 2, my brother and his family arrived. There was more opening of presents, playing of toys, and a light dinner of sandwiches. I left around 6, took a bubble bath, and then watched the Sunday Night Football game!

19) What was your favorite TV program?

My TV watching tapered off once I moved into my apartment since I don’t have cable. Thankfully, my mom does and she saves some of the shows that she knows I like so I can watch them with her later. I think my favorite new TV program is This Is Us, my favorite sitcom remains Life In Pieces, and I’m still as into Big Brother as I always have been.

img_4326

20) What was the best book you read?

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne. I had the best time reading that novel.

21) What did you want and get?

My apartment! I am so happy that I was able to snag the exact apartment I wanted in the complex I wanted to live in. I have zero regrets, only pure joy.

img_3255

22) What did you want and not get?

A tattoo. I just never went ahead and did it! I know I want one, and I know where and what I want. I need to stop being a baby about it and effing do it!

23) What was your favorite film of 2016?

Zootopia. I didn’t see a ton of movies in 2016 – maybe five in total? – so there’s not a lot to select from. But I saw Zootopia with a friend and adored it. It had such a great message!

24) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29 on my birthday and I celebrated in Grand Cayman! My mom and I took a cruise for my birthday and we had a stop on this island on that day. We did a low-key excursion where we laid out by a pool at a resort and had a delicious meal. Later on, the fab wait staff sang “Happy Birthday” to me in the dining room. It was a great day!

img_4043

25) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I wish I had found true love. I dated more in 2016 than I have in previous years, but nothing that lasted for more than a few dates. There was potential with some of the guys I dated, but in the end, I’m ringing in the new year alone. I hope 2017 is my year for love.

26) Who kept you sane?

My friends. I don’t know what I would do without them. They are the ones I go to when I’m downward spiraling about some silly thing and need to be reminded that all is okay.

27) Who did you miss?

I missed my grandma. I have a few photos of her on my fridge and they are equally comforting and upsetting. There are times when I stare at her pictures and waves of sadness and anguish come over me, knowing she’s no longer on this earth anymore. It’s just not fair.

One of my favorite coworkers left our company early in the year and I missed him, too. He was such a fun person to work with and I miss our conversations.

28) Who was the best new person you met?

The only new people I met this year were through work! We had a lot of new people join our company and I’ve become good friends with a handful of them. I love the people I work with so, so much.

29) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

I deserve to be a priority. I remember complaining about this to some girlfriends in regard to the men I was dating. I just felt like I was never a priority for them. I was an afterthought. I wasn’t important. Maybe that makes me sound needy and demanding and I don’t think I am; I just want to be with someone who takes the time for me. I deserve to be someone’s priority.

30) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

img_3708

I was so, so proud to vote for Hillary Clinton for president. I was so, so sure that the rest of America would follow suit. That hate would not win. That people would put aside their political affiliations and realize we could not let a racist, sexist, xenophobic bigot into the White House. How wrong I was.

Even still, it does not take away the feeling I had as I carefully filled in my bubble and voted a woman – an incredible woman – for president. What an honor.

What’s a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?