Stephany Writes

Categories: Healthy Living

I Found The One

For the longest time, I’ve been searching for The One. I think most of us are. Other people have found it. Some have no desire to even start searching. And there are those, like me, who go after finding The One with a vengeance. They will not stop. Nothing else matters but The One. They envy others who have found it and try methods that they have used. They moan and gripe and cry, wondering why they haven’t found this love. They want to know what they’re doing wrong.

Until one day, magic happens. And they find The One. It may have been a fluke accident or it may be something that’s been brewing for a long time. But finally, finally, they found it.

This has been going on for a month or two, but I can now safely say that I have found The One. A love that makes my heart beat with excitement and where I leave every encounter more full of love, happiness, and joy.

Oh, and perhaps also a shirt soaked with sweat.

I found love. And I found it on a spin bike.

Oh, spinning, how I love thee. If you’ve been around this blog enough, you know how desperately I chased after a dream of becoming a runner. And not just any runner, but someone whose entire life revolves around it. I subscribed to running e-mail lists, got fitted for proper running shoes, and even started training for two half-marathons before I realized I needed to be honest with myself: running sucked. I hated it. I would go out for training runs, hating every pound of the pavement and the feeling of defeat that clogged my brain when I ended up walking more than I ran.

When I signed up for a gym membership in June, there was only one thing on my mind: I wanted a place to spin. I had only taken two spin classes previously and they were hard as hell, but I felt powerful, strong, and amazing afterward. I loved the intensity, loved how it made me hurt. Ever since then, I’ve wanted to take more spin classes to see if this is something I love.

I found out that this is more than love. I am actually excited to go work out, where previously I felt dread. I am finding the same emotions my mom has for running in spin classes. I love the way I sweat like a pig, the way I stretch myself to do more than I thought I could at a higher intensity, and the way my body hurts afterward. I love the feeling of accomplishment. And I love how it is completely go-at-your-own-pace and I’m not worried at all about the people who are spinning faster or harder than me. With running, I was constantly comparing myself. People say it’s very individualized but I never felt that way. I was always questioning why I wasn’t running faster or longer or harder. Why it felt so hard for me, why I didn’t love it, why I didn’t have a passion for it the way others did.

Truth is, running wasn’t the right thing for me. I wanted it to be, tried desperately to make it so, but it was time to seek out something I loved more.

In spinning, I have found The One. The exercise love that thrills and excites me. Every class is tough and mentally bruising. And there are some classes that I absolutely dread, but go anyway because I know I will feel better afterward. It doesn’t take every ounce of willpower for me to get to the gym and find a bike. It just takes knowing how much I love it to keep me going back.

Have you found The (Exercise) One?

Categories: Healthy Living

My Name is Stephany & I’ve Been Living in the Dark Ages

Happy Independence Day! Honestly, with the Fourth falling on a Monday and having to go to work the next day, I don’t have many plans. But that’s kinda OK with me.

The last time I was successful with Weight Watchers was in the summer of 2007. Since then, I’ve been on and off the program, never fully embracing it for the long term. I’ve always done good for a few weeks but then would fall off track easily.

As I mentioned last week, exercise is not a problem for me. Even when I fell off track with Weight Watchers, I still managed to keep exercising at least a few times a week. Of course, I’ve never exercised as much as I am now and it’s showing in my hunger levels. My eating habits haven’t changed but I’m realizing that I need to start to look at food more as fuel to get me through my workouts rather than delightful little surprises for my mouth.

I haven’t been tracking right for the past few weeks. Mostly keeping count in my head (which never turns out accurate) or on a piece of paper the next day. Problem is, I tend to conveniently forget certain foods I ate, miscalculate the amount, etc. It’s a slippery slope when your tracking falls short. One of the biggest cornerstones of Weight Watchers is tracking what you eat and being aware of portion sizes and points values. I’m not doing that.

So, finally, I bit the bullet. For the first time since the summer of 2007, I have an eTools account. Since it costs $40 a month and charges double that first month, I’ve always put it off, saying I didn’t have that kinda money. Well, paying $12 a week (which averages out to more than $40 a month) isn’t exactly smart. Plus, there is a myriad of benefits to having eTools. A place to track, a place for community, a place to look at your weight record, goals, and exercise. I’m so flipping excited that I finally have eTools and finally a place to get back on, um, track with my tracking. I think it’s going to do wonders for the way I eat and use my points.

I know my eating habits are the biggest hurdle I need to accomplish to live healthier. As in, eating more Power Foods, getting in my fruits and veggies servings, and drinking water. Drinking a lot more water. But I know what happens when you follow the Plan as it should be – weight loss happens. I know that I have a lot of work to do and a lot to change about my eating habits. But I’m willing to learn and willing to change my life. And that’s the biggest part of it all.

Stats
Starting Weight: 159.2 lbs
Current Weight: 150.8 lbs
Net Difference: -8.4 lbs (-1.2 this week)

Categories: Healthy Living

Two Sides to Every Weight Loss Story

I’m losing my weight the old-fashioned way: through healthy eating and exercise. I’m using Weight Watchers as a way to help me maintain motivation and have a support system to lose weight and learn to live healthier. Weight Watchers is basically like counting calories, except you count Points Plus values. Every single item of food is assigned a Points Plus value depending on fat grams, carbs, protein, and fiber. Every single food being labeled means nothing is off-limits. Weight Watchers doesn’t teach about deprivation but about portion control.

I’ve been on and off the program since the summer of 2007. So I know the program backward and forward. I know what works for me and what doesn’t. I know that the program works if you do it correctly. As one of my all-time favorite Leaders always says, “Let the Program work for you. Don’t work the Program.”

This week, I saw a gain on the scale. Truthfully, I knew it wasn’t going to be a stellar weight loss week for me because of one issue: eating.

My exercise was fantastic this week. Three days I exercised for over an hour (twice hitting the two-hour mark) and two days I hit the gym for an hour. And since I had previously been exercising for 30-45 minutes a few days a week, this is a lot of exercise for me.

But I love it! I love being in the gym, love the classes, love the atmosphere. It pushes me to keep going and pressing forward. I would love to spend two hours in the gym every day but it’s not always feasible. But those days I do? I feel amazing.

But the other side of the story is where I feel not-so-amazing. I grew very lax on tracking what I ate and eating the good stuff, giving myself leeway because of all the exercise I was doing. The week before, I decided not to count my exercise points towards my daily total and it worked out well – I lost 3 pounds. This week was a whole ‘nother ballgame.

If it’s one thing I know, it’s that weight loss requires healthy eating and exercise. I have the exercise part of the equation down pat. And now it’s time for me to get the healthy eating part down pat.

Stats
Starting Weight: 159.2 lbs
Current Weight: 152 lbs
Net Difference: -7.2 lbs (+.8 this week)
Body Fat: 27.57% (+)

Categories: Healthy Living

Consistency

I met with a personal trainer this past week (free with new gym membership), and we discussed my goals for weight loss and what things may be holding me back. It was an extensive discussion but there were a few points I made that stuck out for me.

  • The biggest thing holding me back from losing weight and keeping it off is myself.
  • One of the reasons I’ve never been able to successfully maintain a healthy lifestyle is that I lack consistency.

The thing about trying to lose weight and trying to do it for so long is that you become your own worst enemy. You envision yourself skinny, envision yourself healthy but that’s all it really is – a vision. Even if you stick with the plan for a while, there’s always that tiny voice in the back of your head saying you’re going to fail. Something will happen and the weight will come right back on.

I need to be consistent. With eating healthy. With exercise. Because I know I feel better about myself when I feel in control of my body. I know nothing feels as good as an insanely good, heart-pumping workout where I leave everything on the floor. But still, I’m inconsistent. Even now, as I come off two great weeks of being in control of my eating and getting in tons of great workouts, I’m still wondering when it will all become too much. Not if, but when.

I also did a fitness test with the personal trainer, one such test being the chest press. At first, he had me do 15 reps at 30 lbs which I was able to do, but it was hard. He asked me if I thought I could do 45 lbs. I was honest and said I didn’t think I could. 30 lbs was very hard and I didn’t think I had it in me to do 15 more reps with 15 more pounds of weight on the machine. He told me to try, so I did. And I managed to do 15 reps at 45 lbs.

I am holding myself back from reaching my full potential.

That’s a hard statement to make because it puts all the blame on me. I can’t blame my circumstances, my parents, or even my body. It is me. It is my mind. It is telling myself I can’t do something when I know I can. In this journey, I have a lot of supporters but ultimately, I need to support myself. I need to be my biggest cheerleader and push myself to do things I didn’t know I could do. Instead, I’m placing limits on myself.

The thing is, I’ve shown myself I could do it. I’ve lost weight before and transformed my eating habits but I let life get in the way of keeping healthy habits. I let school and a crazy schedule and family issues take over and gave myself permission to eat poorly and treat my body the wrong way to keep myself happy. Yet I wasn’t happy. I was disappointed in myself and disgusted at my body.

And even though this healthy living journey can be so damn hard, I need to remember that it will ultimately make me happy. Junk food does not make me happy. Pushing past my limits does.

Stats
Starting Weight: 159.2 lbs
Current Weight: 151.2 lbs
Net Difference: -8 lbs (-2.8 this week, but up 4.2 total from my lowest weight recorded.)
Body Fat: 27.17% (Now tracking body fat instead of BMI, since I can thanks to my gym! A better picture of health than BMI, in my opinion.)

Categories: Healthy Living

Race Weekend (Of a Different Sort)

A few weeks ago, my mom texted me about two upcoming races the weekend before our cruise. Miles For Moffitt, benefiting cancer research, and the Inaugural Police Appreciation Run, which is in honor of the three St. Petersburg police officers who were killed in the line of duty earlier this year. There’s something special about running a race that’s benefiting something good so at first, I was all for it. Both races had 5K options so I was like, “Sure!”

But as I got to thinking about it, I decided against running in either race. While there is no doubt I could finish them, even if it meant walking, I just don’t feel like putting that pressure on myself anymore.

After the Iron Girl, I decided to take a big step back from running to re-evaluate why I’m trying so hard for something I don’t think I really like. Running has been something I’m too stubborn to give up completely. There’s this part of me that keeps getting out there, keeps trying, in the hopes that it will one day become easier and I will one day love it as much as other people do.

It still hasn’t happened.

But I’m still trying. I decided to start from the basics again. I think I took on too much, too soon, and signing up for a half-marathon when I wasn’t even in 5K shape was a big mistake. Every run made me doubt my abilities and hate the sport more and more. When I dropped down to the 5K, I felt major relief and I know I want to be able to run 3 miles with ease. I’m not sure if I will ever run a half-marathon, but I still have this fighting need to be able to run at least 3 miles.

So I went back to my faithful friend, Mr. Couch to 5K. I’m not sure how many times I’ve used this program, but this is probably my fifth or sixth attempt. The problem is, I always have an upcoming race when I start the program and abandon it to just run so I can be ready come race day. This time, I am no longer signing up for races until I finish the program. In fact, I’m not looking to sign up for another race until November. I want to give myself enough time to get into shape and be able to run a successful 5K without having to stop for frequent walking breaks.

Back to this weekend. I decided against running in either race, instead came as my mom’s little cheerleading section as she conquered the Miles for Moffitt 5-Miler and the Inaugural Police Appreciation 10K Run. Since her marathon in January, the farthest my mom has run was four miles so she was a bit worried about how she’d do. She needn’t have worried because she kicked some major arse in both races, absolutely crushing her 10K PR by ten minutes. Have I mentioned lately that my mom is a rock star? Because she is.

And me? I got to enjoy these past two mornings with no pressure on myself. All I had to do was wake up early, don some sweatpants, grab my Kindle, and hit the road. While it certainly was inspirational to watch the runners, I didn’t feel that bite in my side that I should be out there. I felt calm and relaxed, knowing that if I so choose, I could one day be out there running with them.

But maybe not.

Because I’m finally learning that there is nothing wrong with hating to run. I have given the sport enough shots, enough chances, that if I make it through Couch to 5K and still hate running, I can walk away knowing I tried everything I could to like it. And it’s not the end of the world if I don’t.