Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

July Recap

Time feels a bit meaningless during these days of a pandemic that feels never-ending. July flew by and I can’t believe there’s still no end in sight to this weird, new way of life. It’s all starting to feel normal, you know? I saw someone inside Publix without a mask on and he looked so… weird. (Also, wear your damn mask, sir!) August will be an interesting month with many school districts back in session. Who knows what will happen once teachers and administrators and students have to report back to school? I’m nervous about it and my heart aches for the teachers and parents who are worried and anxious and stressed. Oof.

Before I get too melancholy, let’s switch gears and look back to July. It was a good month for me, I have to say. Pandemic fatigue was at an all-time low and for that, I am oh-so-grateful.

READING

I read 14 books in July, bringing my total to 92 books read so far in 2020. Woop! This is going to be one massive reading year for me. That’s pandemic life for ya! My top three books were:

WATCHING

  • The Baby-Sitter’s Club (Netflix) – I’ll admit: I didn’t get super excited when I heard Netflix would be releasing a new and improved version of The Baby-Sitter’s Club. There’s no way it could live up to my beloved novels! But, you guys, IT IS SO GOOD. All of the actresses are ridiculously adorable and I have such fondness for them. The storylines are great, and I especially love how diverse and inclusive it is. I’m watching it on a week-by-week basis to keep up with my beloved BSC podcast (The Baby-Sitter’s Club Club) and I love being able to savor the season this way.
  • Golden Girls, season 3 (Hulu) – I’m still trucking along with the Golden Girls! I’ll admit that some of the humor feels so tasteless now in 2020 (so much fatphobia!) and the acting isn’t always great, but it’s fun and silly and just what I need most days.
  • The West Wing, season 1 (Netflix) – I started watching The West Wing! I’ve never seen it! I’m about six episodes in and I love it. All of the actors are excellent and all of their walk-and-talks are truly epic.

LISTENING TO

  • That’s the Ticket by Pod Save America – I loved this miniseries by the Crooked Media team, diving into the vice president selection process. It’s only three episodes long, hosted by two of my faves, Dan Pfeiffer and Alyssa Mastromonaco, and Alyssa actually has firsthand experience with this selection process so it was really interesting to hear her views.
  • The West Wing Weekly – As soon as I finish an episode of The West Wing, I download the accompanying episode recap and it’s been such a good companion to the show.
  • Dr. Fauci on America Dissected – The man of the hour came onto America Dissected to discuss COVID-19. While the discussion was more about the public health side of things and how to communicate complex scientific facts to regular people, I still really enjoyed this discussion.

BUYING

  • Acrylic necklace keeper ($22) – I was ecstatic to find this necklace stand during one of my trips to The Container Store in July. I wanted a way to display my necklaces but keep them out of the girls’ reach (imagine how much fun they’d have batting my necklaces into a twisted mess!). This necklace keeper has an acrylic case that goes right over the stand. Perfect!
  • Face masks x 4 ($30ish) – I bought a lot of cloth face masks this month to build up my collection. I have seven now, four I bought off Etsy, and three I bought from my friend who is making masks. (Her masks are, by far, my favorite. They cling perfectly to my face and stay put easily.)
  • Key holder with organizer ($30) – I wanted a new key holder for my new apartment, one that I could also use for organizing mail and other odds and ends that I like to keep by the front door. This one seems perfect and I can’t wait to put it up in my new place!

MOMENTS

> It was so lovely to see my Georgia family early in July. I got to meet the newest member of our clan, my cousin’s baby who was born in April. He was adorable, although he slept through the entirety of dinner!

> I had a bit of FOMO missing out on my family’s Fourth of July party, but I made the tough decision to sit this one out because of COVID-19. We had a huge group this year and I just didn’t feel comfortable about going.

> I took a day off work to celebrate my mom’s birthday and it was such a lovely day! We got pedicures, went to a restaurant on the water for lunch, and did a little bit of furniture shopping. Then, my brother and nephews came over for dinner!

> I signed a lease on a new apartment! I am so excited about my move next month. The new apartment will add 200 more square feet of space and have an updated kitchen and bathroom and oooh, I am so ready for it!

> I started an Instagram for my cats because that’s the kind of person I am, haha. But I just have soooo many pictures of them and wanted a place where I could put up a picture a day without feeling like I was overwhelming my personal feed. It’s been fun so far! (It may be giving Ellie a big head, though, as all she ever talks about now are Instagram stats and becoming a “catfluencer”!)

> I went back to the office last month, just to pick up some of my personal belongings I had left back in mid-March when I expected quarantine to only last a few weeks. (HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, sweetie.) Everything about being back in the office felt so strange and surreal, a stark reminder of how much life has changed in these past few months. (I finally got to bring home my cat calendar, too, which is why it’s showing March 13th—that was my last day in the office!)

> I had to do a little repair to my bookshelf last week when I realized half the shelves weren’t sitting flat on the hardware anymore. I’m not sure if I was putting too many books on one shelf or if the way I had previously shoved books onto the shelf caused the backing to become misaligned, but I had to take all my books off their shelves, take off the shelves themselves, and then lower the bookshelf to the floor to realign the backing. Oof. It was quite the process but I got it fixed and now the shelves are sitting perfectly! I’m trying to be more careful with how I shelve my books and not stuff each shelf too full.

> Throughout the bookshelf fiasco, I was able to pare down my book collection a bit! I wouldn’t say I’m a book hoarder (I only started collecting books in the past few years, actually!) but I do have enough books to nearly fill up a five-shelf bookcase. So while taking books off my shelf, I decided to set aside any books I’d like to donate. I ended up with 50 books to donate, whew! I was able to sell 26 of those to a local used bookstore and stuffed 4 more into a Little Free Library, so now I need to decide what to do about the other 20 books. Hmm.

> I got to visit with my book club friends this month when we surprised one of our ladies for her birthday. It had been almost two months since I had last seen them and it was so nice to catch up with everyone. We haven’t been having regular book club meetings since finding books to read is a lot more difficult these days, considering most of us are library users and/or don’t read e-books. Hopefully, we can bring back (socially distanced) book club meetings soon, now that the library is back up and running (albeit at a limited capacity).

> Pool days at my mom’s new place became a standard weekend activity for me. Sometimes alone, sometimes with my mom. It’s the only way to enjoy being outside these days! I’m so glad to have my mom’s pool to enjoy, especially this summer with COVID-19 and not feeling comfortable being at my apartment’s pool. It’s quiet and peaceful and refreshing. Ahh!

Tell me about your July! What was the best book you read and your top highlight of the month?

Categories: Life

The Coronavirus Diaries | Update #11

I remember when I started writing this series. I thought to myself, is it even worth writing about? This is all going to go away within a few weeks, right? 

Oh, sweetie.

It’s now been four months since my last day in the office. Four months since I sat at lunch with friends and heard one of them say, “Oh, shit, COVID-19 is now a global pandemic.” Four months of social distancing and wearing face masks everywhere I go and worrying when normal life will resume.

Health experts have been eyeing Florida as the next potential epicenter for the last few weeks, and it appears we are here. We are constantly creating new statistics, like having the most cases in one day (15,300), and our governor is not doing a damn thing about it. COVID-19 shouldn’t be a partisan issue. I shouldn’t have to feel like all of this lack of action is due to having a Republican governor. And yet, the Republican party has made it a partisan issue. Our president refuses to wear a mask (except for one time and no, he does not get credit for that) and deal with the issue at hand. Instead, he’d rather talk about cancel culture and tearing down confederate statues than the fact that 138,000+ people have died from COVID-19.

Sometimes, I imagine how an actual empathetic and reasonable president would have handled this pandemic. I’m not even talking about a Democratic president! Just someone who would actually be saddened by so many deaths and want to help families who have lost loved ones.

I know I use a lot of these COVID-19 updates to discuss politics, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s hard to separate politics from the virus. They’re inextricably linked. If we had a competent administration, one that values science and facts (…and one that didn’t disband the pandemic response team), we could have controlled this virus early on. Trump knew what was coming, and he refused to do anything about it. That’s on him. That’s on Republicans.

It feels weird to be the state that’s in the news. Every breaking news alert about Florida makes my heart drop. It’s hard to believe where we are today versus where we were in early May. That’s when we started reopening, and we didn’t do it slowly. Nope – we opened restaurants, bars, bowling alleys, gyms, and movie theaters. It was full speed ahead. Sure, we had a “phased” reopening plan, but things in our first and second phases were way down in other state’s final phases.

Here’s what the past few weeks have looked like in my world:

WORK

  • I continue to work from home and there’s currently no plan to bring employees back into the office. Originally, my company was going to open the office twice a week for up to 25 employees to come in and work (with all common areas shut down, including our break room). They are putting that plan on hold for now with the rise in cases. Apparently, about 40% of businesses in our office building are back in the office (which is staggering to me!), so I’m very glad that my company isn’t requiring that for us.
  • Investing in a second screen has been LIFE-CHANGING for my work-from-home life. I can’t believe I spent three full months working remotely with just my laptop screen!

FRIENDS/FAMILY

  • My family did a big get-together for the Fourth of July that I opted out of. I had a lot of FOMO about not being there, but I know I made the right choice. We had a big group this year (16 people, I think?) and I just had a strong feeling that social-distancing guidelines would be hard to follow. My Fourth of July was spent at home, keeping watch over the cats who were a bit bothered by all the fireworks.
  • I haven’t seen any friends in months, except for a quick visit to one of my nearest and dearest to pick up some masks. She’s been sewing face masks for coworkers and friends, and I requested two—one for me and one for my mom. I loved the mask she made for me and I promptly asked for more. <3
  • Family from Georgia came into town for the holiday and while I didn’t attend the big Fourth of July get-together, my mom, stepdad, and I went out to dinner with them while they were here. My plan was to wear my mask the whole time and not hug them buuuut that swiftly went out the window when I saw them and I had to give my beloved family a hug! Balancing risk vs reward can be tricky, but I do not regret seeing them.

PUBLIC OUTINGS

  • I went to a restaurant for the first time in early July. And then promptly visited restaurants three more times. I really thought I would stay away from restaurants for a good long while, but there was a Friday night when I was helping my mom out by picking up my stepdad from his truck stop and he wanted to go out for dinner. So I acquiesced. And then there was dinner when my family was in town. And then visiting two restaurants during my mom’s birthday week. It’s not something I want to make a regular occurrence, but it happened and I feel fine about it. (And maaaaan, was it nice to have fresh bread delivered right to the table! Takeout bread is just not the same.)
  • I had my first pedicure since February. My mom has been wanting one, and I decided her birthday was the perfect time to do it. I felt very safe at the nail salon I visited. A friend had gone there and reported back that she felt really safe while there (she’s being even more cautious than I am, so I felt really good about it). lt was super nice to have all the dead skin on my feet sloughed off, haha, and my toenails painted. The salon was huge and everyone was spaced out. We were seated at two chairs in the corner with three chairs between us and a set of friends. I was really happy with my experience!
  • I’ve started visiting more retail stores—visits to Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond. I foresee more shopping dates like this over the next month or two as I prepare for my move. It is what it is. I always wear my mask and try not to touch too many surfaces.

MENTAL HEALTH

  • My anxiety has felt fairly manageable over the past few weeks, and I am so very thankful for that. I have been feeling little moments of despair here and there, which is natural. Everything feels very out of control right now and it’s hard to predict what’s going to happen next. (Well, other than cases exploding even more if we don’t start to shut things down.)
  • My sleep has been all sorts of jacked up ever since I started staying at home. It’s a combination of too much caffeine and not enough Vitamin D, I think. I’m not moving around as much or getting outside in the sunshine as much as I used to. I’ve implemented a system of cutting off caffeine by 3pm every day and spending at least 10 minutes outside in the middle of the day. It’s helping! My sleep has definitely improved, especially with the caffeine goal. I always forget how much it affects me until I begin to limit it.

MISC

  • I am really glad I don’t have to worry about the upcoming school year. I see teachers and parents on my social media timelines fretting about what to do, and I really feel for them. Parents in my school district can choose to send their children to school or do digital learning, but what a hard choice to make. My brother and his wife have made the decision to keep my nephews home for this school year, which means my sister-in-law will undertake the arduous task of working from home while making sure a five- and 11-year-old do their schoolwork. Oy vey. I also highly sympathize with teachers who are worrying about the upcoming school year and what it will look like for them. Teaching during a pandemic is not something anyone is prepared for!
  • My library books are still in transit. I don’t think I’m ever going to get them, ha. It’s been six weeks since I requested them and I guess they will forever be in transit. Is it because I have a $1 fine??? 😉 Oh, well. I’ve got plenty of other reads to keep me busy for the time being.

How are you holding up? What’s it like where you are?

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | June 2020

Hi, friends! I’ve got a special Thursday post coming your way today. 🙂 After a few months of experimenting with a new way of recapping my month, I’m coming back to the old style I used throughout 2019. It’s just a really fun way to look back on the month and I missed talking about what I’ve been watching and listening to. So, without further ado, let’s dive in:

READING

I read 15 books in June, so I am way ahead of my Goodreads goal by 11 (!) books. My top three this month were:

WATCHING

  • Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) – I finally finished this miniseries! I really liked it, but it was never a show I felt like I *had* to watch. The casting was great, though, and I especially loved the actress who played Izzy. She was so adorable and perfect for the role! I recommend the show, especially with all its great 90s touches.
  • Golden Girls, season 2 (Hulu) – I’ve only watched episodes of Golden Girls here and there, but have never seen the whole series, so this is my go-to when I need something light and fun.

Side note: I was so bummed to find out that Mad Men isn’t on Netflix anymore! This will teach me not to take years and years and years to watch a series. I’ve been slowwwwly watching the series (like, snail’s pace. I think I watch one season a year, lol) And when I tried to find it on Netflix last weekend, I discovered it was taken down. Wahhhh. The exact same thing happened to me with Friday Night Lights (although I think that’s on Hulu now!) so I really need to get my act together with watching series TV. Oops.

LISTENING TO

  • Slow Burn, season 4 – This season, they’re exploring David Duke and his rise to political power. It’s all frightening similar to Trump.
  • The Teacher’s Pet – I’m about halfway through this true crime podcast series, following the disappearance of a young mother in Australia. Her husband didn’t report her missing for six weeks and moved his teenage lover into their home just days after she disappeared. It’s WILD!
  • Friends Forever on Hall of Shame – I can’t remember if I talked about this podcast before, but it’s all about the crazy stories in sports and it’s excellent. (And hosted by two ladies who know their shit when it comes to sports.) Anyway, this episode in particular is great, as it’s about the strange friendship between Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-Un.

BUYING

  • A computer monitor ($100) – I am so happy I made this purchase. (I used the money I had saved in my “no spend fund” to get it!) I really need two screens when working and now that I know I’ll be working from home for a really long time, I finally bought another monitor. I’m only three days into my two-screen life and it has drastically improved my work life. Woop!
  • Eloise & Lila’s first Chatbook ($18) – I finally started a regular Chatbook subscription for the girls! I love the Chatbooks I have of Dutch and I knew I wanted to do the same thing with my kitties. Flipping through the photos when the book arrived was such a joy!
  • A mouse pad ($7) – One of those simple but necessary pleasures. My old mouse pad was just one of those lame ones that come in the package when you buy a wireless mouse and had gotten very dirty over the years. It was time for an upgrade. Yay for simple delights!

THE HIGHS

  • My mom’s new house – My mom and stepdad closed on their new house this month, and it’s been fun to watch them morph into homeowners! They’re spending the next month-ish doing some minor work (painting and laying down tile) and will officially move in sometime in late July or early August. I’ve already enjoyed the pool once and can’t wait to spend many more weekends there!
  • A new washer/dryer – I finally got my washer fixed! Apparently, the issue was extensive and necessitated an entirely new washer/dryer. My new one is so fancy, which is fun, but mostly, I’m just happy to have a working washer/dryer again!
  • Extra mom time – My mom’s car was in the shop for about a week in June and that meant I got to play chauffeur for her, taking her to work, dropping her off for a hair appointment, and even doing the 30-minute drive to pick up my stepdad from his truck stop. I didn’t mind—it meant more time with my mom, and that is always a good thing for me!
  • New glasses! – I finally ordered my glasses from Warby Parker. I was worried about needing them adjusted and not knowing where to go for that when Florida was under a shelter-in-place order, which is why I waited until the end of May to order them. I ordered two pairs and it’s fun to switch them out whenever I’m feeling the need for a change. (And woooooow, has my vision changed since the last time I got glasses. Everything feels like it’s in HD now!)
  • New bar stools – The bar stools I ordered in May arrived this month and I was very grateful for my stepdad coming over to help me to put them together when I was having trouble with one of them. The girls have been loving them (one of them believes it’s a great scratching post, sigh) and I just like having a much more comfortable place to sit when I’m eating!

THE LOWS

  • Rising case numbers of COVID-19 in Florida – It was not a good month for COVID-19 in Floria, where case numbers reached 9,000+ two days in a row at the end of the month. I’m sticking to my decision to only see my mom, my stepdad, my brother, and my nephews and I always wear a mask when in public.
  • A bout with vertigo – At the end of the month, I experienced a horrific case of vertigo and I’m still feeling the effects of it today (even though it’s not anywhere near as bad as Saturday, where even sitting up would cause the room to spin and make me nauseated). I have a (virtual) doctor’s appointment scheduled for Monday (the soonest appointment I could get, due to the holiday) so I hope she can help me!
  • Increased anxiety – My anxiety felt unmanageable at times in June. I think I started feeling overwhelmed by news, between COVID-19 and the racial justice movement. I started getting stomachaches and had trouble sleeping and couldn’t seem to turn off my brain. It wasn’t the best month for my mental health.

What was a highlight of June for you? What was the best book you read last month?

Categories: Life

The Coronavirus Diaries | Week 15

So here we are. Florida is one of the states seeing significant increases in COVID-19 cases and looks to be the next epicenter. We hit a record-high of 5,000+ cases two days in a row (Wednesday and Thursday), which is astonishing. What’s even more astonishing is that our governor is still not willing to do anything about this. He continues to insist it’s due to increased testing, which is just not factual at all. I try to check this database at least once a day to see how things are going in my county and what the ICU bed availability looks like. (28, as of Thursday night.)

Thankfully, the county I live in now has a mandatory mask ordinance in place. I’m glad we have sensible officials in our local government! All of Florida should be under this ordinance since wearing masks is the best way to prevent community spread, but alas. At least I can feel good knowing that whenever I go to the grocery store, everyone else will be wearing masks. (And I really feel for the workers who have to enforce this rule with shoppers. I know there are plenty of people who won’t like the rule, sigh.)

My family is planning this big Fourth of July party, as some family members will be in town and everyone wants to get together. At first, we were thinking about doing it at a park but now we’re planning to have it at a condo on the beach. There will be a lot of us (around 20 people, maybe?!) and I think I’m going to have to be the party pooper who doesn’t attend. I just don’t feel comfortable about it, and I hope my family understands, but even if they don’t, that’s okay. I have to do what feels right for me.

I’ve had a lot of anxiety lately, much more than normal. I’ve been in a really good place with my mental health for about the past year, so it always feels defeating when my anxiety rises to unmanageable levels. I think it all stems from the trajectory this pandemic has taken for my state. Not only are our case numbers rising, but the median age of a coronavirus patient is dramatically lower—37 years old. Normal life seems like a state of mind. Was there really a time when I could walk into a packed spin class and not blink an eye at being seated less than a foot away from people?

I think I’m also feeling rather sad about having nothing to look forward to. There are no vacations on the horizon or fun plans to anticipate. I’m trying to save my vacation days to take a good chunk of time off around my move. Even though the move won’t be too crazy since I’m moving within my complex, it will still be nice to have a lot of time to pack and unpack and get the girls used to the new setting. I’m trying to take off one day per month, too, as a mental health day. That helps! I took a Wednesday off in June and basically did nothing but read and sleep, and it was divine. I planned to go to the pool, but it rained all afternoon. I’m taking off a day next month to celebrate my mom’s birthday with her, so that will be nice. 🙂

And, hopefully, I can plan a getaway in the fall. Something within driving distance, of course. Maybe it’s time to visit Savannah again? I love that city so much, goodness.

As I mentioned last week, my company announced plans for reopening the office. They’re doing it in phases and this first phase is completely voluntary. The office will only be open on Tuesdays and Thursdays, only 25 employees can be in the office at one time, and the office will be thoroughly sanitized before and after each workday. While I don’t have any plans to go into the office to work, I am hoping to schedule a time to pick up some of the stuff from my desk. Like my wireless computer mouse and my cat calendar and my big Tervis water cup. When I left in mid-March, I had no idea I wouldn’t be back for such a long time! It’s crazy when I think about it. There were also some discussions about continuing a mostly remote work-from-home program once things return to “normal.” I would be required to come into the office once or twice a month for team meetings and such, and that sounds great to me.

In other good news, I finally got my washer fixed! I felt comfortable enough having the maintenance man come in and look at it (he wore a mask), and turns out, I needed an entirely new washer/dryer! My new one is super fancy with a touch screen and lots of bells and whistles, and it makes me less anxious to move out of this apartment, haha. It’s so exciting!

I’m still keeping pretty isolated in my day-to-day life. I did go to TJ Maxx once and Target twice, but that’s about it. I’m still not going to the gym or restaurants, and still not seeing friends. My circle remains my mom, stepdad, brother, and older nephew. I haven’t seen my girlfriends since we did a socially distanced book club meeting at the end of May, and it makes my heart ache. I miss them so much! But it’s also hard to know what sorts of activities would be ok to do, you know? And being outside isn’t all that pleasant right now in Florida between the intense heat and mosquitoes. Ugh.

In other news, I’m still waiting on the books I requested from the library. Four of the books I requested have been “in transit” for more than two weeks now. Whew. To be clear, this isn’t a complaint and I know my library system is doing its best right now. Just an observation. I know they’re dealing with a backlog and I’m assuming they’re quarantining any materials they get in for 14 days, so perhaps my time is coming soon. I’ll be patient! I’ve got enough reading material to keep me busy anyway, between my own bookshelves (both print and Kindle!) and Libby. I’ll be fiiiiine. 🙂

So that’s where I’m at right now. There’s a lot happening, and it all feels very scary and overwhelming at times. But I have to remember to stay present and not worry about what could happen in the future. Yes, Florida is most likely COVID-19’s next epicenter, but all that means for me is spending more time at home with my kitties. And is that really such a bad thing?

Categories: Life

The Rent vs. Buy Conundrum

Earlier this year, I started touring apartments. I was so ready to move out of my tiny, 515-square-foot apartment and into something bigger and more updated. Unfortunately, those apartment tours were pretty disappointing.

The apartments themselves were gorgeous! I loved the spacious floor plans, closet space, and beautiful kitchens. I imagined having space for a dining room table and more bookcases and plenty of spots for the cats to roam. But I started seeing a trend as I talked with the leasing agents further about prices. For all of the apartments I viewed, I couldn’t find anything that was less than $1,300 a month. That was way above my budget: I was hoping to pay around $1,100 a month.

It made me wonder: Why should I pay so much money in rent every month? Would it make more sense to stay in my tiny apartment for another few years and save up to buy a house or condo?

I want to pause here and say that even entertaining the idea of owning a home blew my mind. Growing up poor and living with an addict who caused us to get evicted from multiple apartment homes, I never imagined this for myself. Being financially stable enough to even entertain the notion of owning a home is mind-blowing to me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the potential of owning a home. I talked it over with my mom and with friends. I scoured articles about saving for a home. I learned about home loans and closing costs and mortgage insurance. I went back and forth between owning a condo (less maintenance!) and owning a house (more privacy!). I even started saving, setting up a savings account specifically titled “House Fund.” It all felt very grown-up and important and exciting.

My plan was this: I would stay in my apartment for another 2-3 years. I would start aggressively saving for a down payment on a house or condo, upwards of $500 a month (or more, if possible). Continuing to live in my tiny, outdated apartment wasn’t ideal but it would all be worth it in the end because I’d have something that was fully mine. I would get to mark something off that big adult to-do list that I never thought was possible: homeownership.

At the beginning of June, I received my lease renewal from my leasing office. The good news was that my rent wasn’t going up at all. Yay! I prepared myself to sign another lease renewal… but something made me stop and think about it. Could I really see myself living in this tiny space for another year? Did I actually want to do that?

These questions were falling during a really weird time, too. I’m spending a lot more time at home now than I was earlier in the year when I started bouncing around the idea of staying put and saving for a house.

I’ve been working remotely for three months, and it looks like this will be my reality for a really long time. (Which I’m so happy about!) But it’s starting to feel claustrophobic. I’m realizing just how tiny my apartment really is. It’s not serving my needs anymore, and I’m dying to add a few hundred square feet of space.

Plus, I was starting to consider the realities of homeownership (or even condo ownership) as a single person. With nobody else’s income, resources, or help to fall back on, what would owning a home look like for me? What happens when something breaks or I need an expensive repair? What about renovations? Where does that fit into my budget? And there’s no way I’d be able to put down 20%—I’d be lucky to put down 10%—so that comes with its own additional fees.

It was a lot to think about, and I started wondering if I was looking at homeownership with rose-colored glasses. While it seems like the path every adult should be working towards (especially someone like me, who doesn’t have any desire to move from this area), I wasn’t sure if it was really the path I wanted. Especially if it means spending another few years in my shoebox apartment.

So I started looking at apartments. Again. And I started finding apartments that were in my price range, even if they were at the tippity-top of it. One of the apartments I looked at had a beautiful sunroom with skylights where I could put my desk and have an office. The living room was three times the size of what I have now! It had an actual laundry room, not just a stackable washer/dryer stuffed into my walk-in closet. There were updated kitchen appliances and so! much! cabinet! space! It felt like a dream. I wanted it so, so much.

I started envisioning living in a more spacious place and having a new neighborhood to explore. It started feeling really exciting! (As did the process of moving, but that’s a topic for another day.) But it was also scary. I kept trying to figure out what my life would look like if I added $400 to my budget. It would be doable, but I would have to give up some things and tighten up my spending. And saving for a home would take me decades, most likely.

So then I considered Option B: exploring the possibility of renting a bigger apartment in the complex where I currently live. I absolutely love my current residence; it’s nestled in a fantastic, quiet community with incredibly friendly neighbors. While the parking situation and the gym might not be ideal, and the bustling road nearby poses a minor inconvenience, the rent prices here are simply unbeatable. I mean, I’m currently renting a cozy one-bedroom for just $866! Sure, it’s on the smaller side, but it comes equipped with a convenient washer/dryer and is pet-friendly – features that are hard to come by, especially at such an affordable rate.

A bigger one-bedroom would give me 200 more square feet of space, a dedicated dining area, and two extra closets. And a little laundry room! (The biggest one-bedroom would be my dream as it has a large den, which could serve as my office, but those rarely come available.) It would also only add $200 more to my budget.

I hemmed and hawed over this decision for weeks. I spent so much time thinking about it that I started to drive myself crazy. I had to make a decision by the end of June because that’s when I had to give notice to my leasing office if I planned to move. Everything felt heightened with June 30th fast approaching.

Honestly, when I started writing this post on Monday, I still hadn’t made a decision and I was thinking about writing this post to ask for advice. I was still completely confused about what to do.

But then it hit me: Why am I making such a big deal of things? The answer is right in front of me: I’m going to wait for a bigger one-bedroom in my current apartment complex to become available.

The moment I made that decision, I felt such a sense of peace and relief. I know I’m making the right choice. The smart choice.

Not only does this mean my rent won’t be increasing by too much, but it also means I can continue to save for a house. Not at the rate that I could if I stayed in my tiny apartment, of course, but at a higher level than I would if I went anywhere else. It just makes sense.

And so, that’s my long-winded way of saying that I am moving soon. Ideally in mid-to-late August, but whenever a bigger one-bedroom becomes available in my complex. And I’m not putting my dreams of homeownership on hold to do so. It’s truly the best of both worlds, and I’m excited to start this new chapter in my life. (But also: All advice about moving with cats is appreciated. Eeks!)