Hi, friends. What a weird, crazy time we’re living through right now. And we’re all living through it as a collective, which is both terrifying and comforting. I don’t really feel like sticking to my normal blogging schedule during a time like this (though I’ll probably continue my reading updates for some normalcy). Instead, I think I’ll just start blogging my feelings as they come.
Yesterday, my mom and I made the decision to cancel our trip to New Orleans. I don’t think I’ve talked about this on the blog yet, but we were planning on going April 6-9 and staying at the iconic Royal Sonesta. I was super excited and already working on an itinerary. But I don’t think things will suddenly be better in two weeks and it’s smarter to wait until everything is behind us. I was able to get a full credit for the flights and my mom is working on getting a refund or credit for the hotel. It’s a bummer, but we’ll go later this year. It will all be fine.
As I mentioned on Monday, the company I work for made the decision to go remote this week. In a weird way, this has become a little test to see if I’d like to work from home on a more regular basis. I’m only three days in and all three days, I’ve left my apartment. (Monday to go to my mom’s to celebrate Chip’s birthday, Tuesday to vote and take Chip out, and Wednesday because my mom was working from home and asked if I wanted to join her in the afternoon.) So that’s been nice! I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t have plans almost every day in a work week. That’s more of the norm for me. I’ve always thought I’d be the perfect candidate for working from home (I am a classic homebody and offices can be overstimulating for my nervous system), but I also like being around my coworkers.
I’m not following the news incessantly because, well, nobody should be doing that. We all need to take breaks from it. I listen to the What a Day podcast and read the accompanying nightly newsletter to find out what’s currently happening. I’m also listening to America Dissected: Coronavirus, which is hosted by an epidemiologist. I have CNN push alerts set up for breaking news + news about COVID-19 (I rarely click the link; I just read the alert). But that’s about it. I’m not on Facebook or Twitter anymore, thankfully. Instagram can get overwhelming enough!
Here in Florida, we’re making some changes. All bars and nightclubs are closed for 30 days and restaurants have to be under 50% capacity. Many restaurants have shifted to delivery or to-go only. Schools are closed until April 15th and universities are going online for the rest of the semester. Our public library system is closed and starting Monday, all Clearwater beaches will be closed for two weeks. (Really wish the other cities would follow suit. Geez.) Lots of businesses, like my vet’s office and dentist’s office, are only taking patients in the event of an emergency.
However, we still had our primary. I went to my polling location to vote because I totally dropped the ball on voting by mail. Well, to be honest, I had no idea who I was voting for until a few days ago. I sanitized my hands thoroughly before going in. I only touched my ballot and a pen (I was told that the pens had been sanitized). Oh, and also the “I Voted” sticker, oops. But they did a great job of making sure voters didn’t have to touch anything else! They had doors propped open and someone standing nearby to open any closed doors. And I was the only person there when I went. And of course, afterward, I thoroughly washed my hands with warm water and soap!
Most of my anxiety about this virus is about how this is going to affect our economy. I don’t mean to say I’m not worried about people’s lives—I definitely am! I’m really scared we waited too long to put severe measures in place to flatten the curve. But I’m also terrified about what our economy is going to look like even a month down the road. I’m sad for the small businesses that might not make it and for all the people who have already been laid off from this nightmare. Will it be worse than 2008? Who knows. I surely have no idea about the stock market or investments or any of that. But it seems like it could be really bad. And that’s keeping me up at night.
I don’t want to end on that note, so let’s talk about happier news: I’ve decided to go on my kayaking trip this weekend! We’ll be staying at an Airbnb in a semi-remote location. (Not, like, murder-y remote.) We’ll be kayaking and paddle boarding in a natural spring where few people will be around. And we’ll be eating all of our meals in. There will be eight of us in total, nobody who is high risk. I have thought long and hard about going because I want to be responsible… but I also don’t want to let my social anxiety get the better of me. And I truly think it was my social anxiety that was telling me to cancel. (Even though I know it will be fun! And I’ll be glad I went! But, alas, that’s not how social anxiety works. I can only do my best to not let the fear win.)
So that’s where I am today. Scared and unsure and trying to make the best of this weird time. I hope you all are hanging in there, too.