Life – Page 38

Categories: Life

Let’s Talk about Book Clubs

A few weeks ago, in the comment section of my book review post, Kathleen requested I write a post on my book club. I feel like I talk about my book club a lot on this blog, but I don’t go into many specifics. So, today, if you’ll indulge me, let’s talk about book clubs.

on joining

My start to this book club was a little rocky. And mostly due to my own silly insecurities. Originally, I planned to join in January 2011. After searching on Meetup.com, I found a young women’s book club and it sounded perfect for me. So, I joined and even read the book pick for the month, but the day of the meeting, I panicked and bowed out. I just… got scared. Worried about what people would think of me. Going to a social event on my own is terrifying for me and I couldn’t get past my own insecurities at that time.

Nearly two years later, I summoned the courage to try again. It was the exact same book club, but it had a new leader, Amber, who is the nicest and most welcoming person I’ve ever met. I ended up joining around the time Amber was hosting a new members’ get-together. It would just be a few new people who wanted to join the club and some long-time book club members, getting together at a restaurant downtown for drinks and tapas. It was honestly the best situation for me as I got to “join” in a low-key setting and get to know some of the members before I attended my first meeting.

My first actual book club meeting was in October of 2012 and it went so wonderfully! We met at a restaurant, and it was a small group, which was perfect for me. And from then on, I’ve been a book club regular!

our meetings

Like most book clubs, we meet once a month and we pick a date based on everyone’s schedules. Sometimes it’s a midweek dinner, other times it’s a Friday night or Sunday morning brunch.

If we choose a date during the week, usually we’ll meet at a restaurant for a few hours because schedules are busy and we all need to get home in a timely manner.

If we choose a Friday night, we’ll usually try to pair it with a fun outing. We’ll meet at a restaurant to eat a good meal and talk about the book, and then drive over to another location for some fun. Some of the things we’ve done: laser tag, bowling, shuffleboard, and playing games at a brewery downtown.

During the summer months, we’ll often schedule “brunch book club by the pool” where everyone comes to my pool on Sunday morning for brunch potluck, mimosas, and pool time! It’s so much fun and usually my favorite type of book club we have!

So anyway, we definitely don’t stick to any one type of book club outing. We like to keep things interesting and it honestly just feels like a “girls’ night out” than the type of book club most people expect. And I love that! 🙂

discussing books

Another way we might not be like a typical book club is with our discussions. We don’t have in-depth discussions about the books we choose. I know some people like to discuss themes and literary plot devices, but we prefer to just chat about how we felt while reading the book. Sometimes, if a book we read comes with a discussion guide, we’ll answer a few questions from that. Generally, though, we just like to discuss different plot points and our reactions to them. We don’t tend to pick super literary books, anyway, but more “feel good” books, which are more fun to discuss thoughts and feelings than literary themes.

choosing books

We have a few parameters for choosing our monthly read:

It can’t be one someone has already read. We like to have the reading experience together!
Ideally, it will be a book two or more of us have marked as “to-read” on Goodreads.
Ideally, it will have a rating of 3.5 stars or higher on Goodreads.
It has to have multiple copies available at the library. (Nearly all of us are library users, so we run into problems if the book has a long waiting period or is completely unavailable. This also means we don’t read popular books, so we haven’t read The Girl on the Train or All the Light We Cannot See as a group.)

Typically, Amber comes to our meeting with a few book ideas, and sometimes, some of us will also have some options. We’ll read aloud the book synopsis from Goodreads and then decide collectively if we think the book will be a good fit. It usually doesn’t take us very long to pick a book, and we tend to choose cute YA novels, engaging thrillers, or women’s lit.

new members

We don’t regularly take new members. We no longer have our group listed on Meetup.com (Amber actually took it down the month after I joined – glad I joined when I did!) Our group now exists in a private Facebook group.

Nearly all of us are introverts, so we like keeping our meetings small. Having 10-12 members at a meeting starts to feel overwhelming. But every now and then, we’ll do a “bring a friend to book club” meeting if we feel like we need to add new faces and new personalities to the group. That’s actually how my BFF Bri started attending!

special events

We like to do something special at least once a year to celebrate the book club’s anniversary. In 2013, five of us went on a two-day weekend cruise, and in 2014, we took the Ghost Tour of St. Petersburg. This year, we’re thinking about spending a weekend in Orlando for the Food & Wine Festival!

Other than that, we’ll get together for dinner every now and then. We had a 90s gift exchange for Christmas last year. A few of us got together to carve pumpkins last October. I’ll meet up with Amber for lunch since we work near one another. A book club friend and I started meeting up for writing dates. We all met up for a painting date for a friend’s birthday. Things like that!

We have so much fun together. They are more than just my “book club girls,” but some of my closest friends and favorite people. Growing up, I didn’t have friends who really understood me, or even really accepted me for who I was. These girls are my people. They get me. I never knew that I could find people who accepted me as I was, and let me be my neurotic, weird, crazy self. I love these girls with my whole heart and I’m so glad I took a chance on joining this group. It’s been one of the best decisions of my life.

Do you belong to a book club? How does it differ from mine?

Categories: Life

The Tampa Bay Project #2: Visit the Dali Museum

I haven’t been making much progress on The Tampa Bay Project. In fact, all I’ve managed to mark off is visiting some local restaurants and taking the Ghost Tour of St. Petersburg. But I wrote this list with no pressure on crossing everything off at any specific time. I just wanted to have a running list of “things to do” around town.

This past Saturday, though, I had the chance to cross an item off this list: visiting the Dali Museum. I asked my soon-to-be-roomie Bri if she’d like to visit it with me and she gave a resounding “YES!”

I’ll admit that I didn’t know too much about Salvador Dali before going to the museum. I knew he made some… wacky… paintings, so I figured I was in for a treat.

Dali was a Spanish surrealist painter, born in 1904 in Spain. Though his father wanted him to go into business, art was his passion and I’d say he made the right call about choosing this path over the more traditional one. He was an eccentric man who lived an extravagant lifestyle. He also produced more than 1,500 paintings in his lifetime! Can you imagine? That’s absolutely nuts. That takes so much passion and dedication and hard work.

(I loved his descriptions of his paintings!)

There was really so much to see at this museum! I think we spent over two hours there, slowly walking through all the different exhibits. As one would expect, there is a permanent collection of Dali’s work, but there are also other exhibits rotating throughout the museum.

One such exhibit was “Dali Revealed,” which was a selection of 48 photographs taken by photographer Robert Descharnes. I loved seeing the candid shots of Dali and his wife, Gala, and just getting this tiny glimpse into the way he made his paintings. He seemed like such an interesting man, and these photographs capture his personality perfectly. I also met the best Washington DC corporate photographer, who is the number one photographer in town.

Another exhibit we saw was “Dali & Da Vinci: Minds, Machines & Masterpieces.” This exhibit showcased more than 75 works and reproductions, including some of the reproductions both Dali and da Vinci proposed during their time (some of which became a reality and others that did not). It basically showcased how these two artists used mathematics and invention to bring about some of their most famous works.

Lastly, one of my favorite exhibits was the “Student Surrealist Art Exhibits” in which students in grades 6-12 throughout Florida submitted their take on surrealism. The students used pen, pencil, colored pencils, digital photography, drawing tablet and pen, acrylic paint, and more to create amazing works of art. I mean, some of these students were 12 years old and creating incredibly detailed and amazing pieces. I am not an artist in the least, and stuff like this impresses me so much. Kudos to the kids! (And how amazing would it be to have your artwork displayed in a museum at the age of 12?!)

The Dali Museum also has a garden area, which featured an enormous mustache (reminiscent of Dali’s own fab mustache!). It’s the perfect photo op, don’t you think?!

In any event, it was a really fun afternoon spent with my friend. (It also happened to be our friend-aversary, as we had our first lady date this weekend a year ago! We’re adorable, is what I’m saying.) I’m really happy I got to visit the Dali Museum because it’s been a really long time since I’ve visited an art museum.

Do you like visiting art museums?

Categories: Life

Around Here

Thanks Kathleen for the post idea!

Around here I’m adjusting to a new hairstyle. I’ve wanted to do a drastic change to my hair for a while now. Once my hair reaches a certain length, it just starts looking stringy and dull. While it’s full and thick when it’s short, it gets very thin and fine the longer I grow it out. So, I took the plunge and cut 9 inches off my hair on Friday. I am so pleased with the change! It’s the perfect cut for summer!

Around here my mom and I are in the final stages of wedding planning. Her wedding is in three weeks and we’re planning a small, intimate gathering. I think we’re expecting to have around 30 people total. My mom and her fiance will be married at a spot in Downtown St. Petersburg, and then we’re going to a casual steakhouse for the reception. Over the past few weeks, invitations were sent out, the wedding dress was purchased, the cake was ordered, supplies for wedding favors were bought, a photographer was acquired, and the ceremony was written. It’s almost time!

Around here I’ve been dealing with a sick pup. He contracted a bad UTI while we were away and then, after two weeks on medicine to make him better, he started getting ill in the mornings. One morning, he got ill SIX TIMES before 6am. Thinking it was the medicine, I took him off it for a few days and he got better immediately. (He did get ill two more times after going off the medicine, but after-effects, maybe?) Right now, I’m keeping a close eye on him and if I notice him not acting like himself, it’s back to the vet we go!

Around here I’m slowly healing from my sprained ankle. I still have to walk downstairs slowly because there’s a certain way my foot lands that causes shooting pain. But generally, my ankle is fine. I’m exercising again, but taking it easy. Lots of interval rides on the stationary bike and I’m doing some upper-body strength training. I tried using the elliptical a couple of weeks ago and my ankle was in pain afterward, so I’m nervous to get back on it! I’m being cautious, but it’s definitely about 90% healed.

Around here I’ve been working on refinancing my car loan – and I got approved! I don’t know all the details just yet, but getting this done has taken a weight off my shoulders. And it’s really gratifying to see my hard work in improving my credit score is paying off.

Around here I’ve been really struggling with healthy eating. My schedule has been a bit wacky lately (this week, I’ll only be home one night!), which makes it hard for me to stick to a healthy diet. I haven’t been meal planning quite like I need to, and I can’t remember the last time I actually cooked something. (Unless boxed mac and cheese counts?) I keep waiting for my schedule to quiet down, but this just seems to be my new normal. I need to figure something out because I’m stuck at an unhappy weight and it’s driving me crazy.

Around here my roomie-to-be and I are still searching for a place to live. Our move-in date is scheduled for late July, but it is looking like it could be August instead. Which I’m totally fine with! The lease I have with my mom at our current apartment isn’t up until November, so I have plenty of time. We’ve decided to look in South Tampa for a rental, which is a… hipper… part of the city. It’s not necessarily my scene, but I’m willing to give it a try, as long as we find a place in my price range. Since many of the rentals in South Tampa are privately owned, many work on 30-day notices, so even if we found something today, it most likely wouldn’t be available by the end of July. So! We shall see what happens.

Categories: Life

Playing the “What If” Game

Last week, Krysten wrote a post about the “what if’s” of her life, and I thought it would be an interesting post to write about my own life because I play the “what if” game a lot. It can be futile, but sometimes it’s interesting to look back on your life and wonder about what it would look like if it had taken a different path.

What if… I had been accepted into the University of Florida and had a true college experience? Would I have joined a sorority and made lifelong friends and memories? Would I have gotten my degree in education instead of journalism? Would I have dated more, become more independent? Would my life be on a completely different trajectory than it is today?

What if… my father had been a regular guy, not one with a gambling addiction, and my parents had a happy, healthy marriage? Would I have had a more stable childhood, where dinner was always at six, dads mowed the lawn and played with their kids on weekends, and moms didn’t worry about the next time their husbands will hit them? How would my relationships with men be different – would being in healthy romantic relationships be the norm, not the exception? Then again…

What if… my mom had never left my father? Would my father have gotten better? Would he have made a change, been a better father and husband? Or would he have gotten worse? Would he have taken bigger gambling risks or tried harder drugs? Would my mom have even made it out of her marriage alive?

What if… I hadn’t failed my teaching internship? Would I have graduated with my education degree and become an elementary school teacher? Would I be happy with that career path? Would it have fulfilled me?

What if… I didn’t struggle with weight problems? Would I be happier, more satisfied with myself and my life? Would I have more friends and a fuller social calendar? Would I have had more romantic relationships? Would I have had the self-confidence to go after my dreams?

What if… I had gotten married young? Would I still be married? Would I be a mother by now or still happily childless? Would I still be living in Florida? Would my life seem more complete?

What if… I had declined my great-aunt’s offer to adopt her older dog, Dutch, because I wanted a younger dog? Would I have found another dog that brought me as much joy and happiness as he does? Or would I have gone the past seven years without a dog? (That sounds so sad, though!)

What if… I hadn’t quit my soul-sucking marketing job to join my current company? Would I still be as miserable with my career as I was then? Would I have gotten any promotions, any raises? Would I still feel unconfident and discontent with myself because I was drowning in a terrible job and volatile work environment? Would I have found other ways to find fulfillment in my life, other than through my career?

What if… I hadn’t had the courage to attend that first book club meeting? Would I still have an empty social calendar, still relying entirely on the Internet for friendship and support? Would my daily life be lonely and empty if I had never joined this little book club I found on Meetup.com? Would I still be sitting on the couch, wishing I could take a chance and join a group and meet new people, but not having the courage to do so?

What if… I hadn’t gone on that first cruise in 2011 and found my favorite way to travel? Would I still think traveling wasn’t for me, only taking small weekend trips to Orlando? Would I have traveled at all these past few years, or would I have let the fear of the unknown keep me from new experiences and places?

As fun as this experience was, looking at the past and imagining the “what if’s,” we can’t get caught up in them. They really don’t matter because it’s not our reality. Everything that happened – every good thing, bad thing, heartbreak, joy – has happened for a reason; it has gotten me to where I am today. And where I am today is a place I am so satisfied with. I’ve built a life I truly love. And there’s no better feeling than that.

What are some of your “what if’s?”

Categories: Life

Reviewing the First Quarter of the Year

The first quarter of 2015 is complete! These past three months have been really, really good. I’m just very happy with my life right now and where it is going. I think 2015 is shaping up to be a fantastic year.

I thought I would take the time to review the first three months of the year – looking back to detail the successes and the challenges – and to look ahead to the second quarter.

Q1 Review – What Went Well

Giving up a relationship that wasn’t serving me

It wasn’t hard to make the decision to break things off, but there was an initial pang of Oh-my-god-what-have-I-just-done. The realization that I was, once again, single. The worry that I would be single forever, that nobody would ever love me, that I am too much of a mess to handle being in a relationship. And some of that worry is still there, but more than anything, I feel complete peace at being single and I am 100% certain that ending the relationship was the right idea. He wasn’t the person I needed him to be. Simple as that.

Going on two super fun trips – St. Augustine and Savannah

Okay, so maybe the trip to St. Augustine was with the aforementioned boy, but we still had lots of fun! I really enjoyed exploring St. Augustine, and I’d love to go back again with my mom (my favorite travel buddy!) to check out the fort and the lighthouse again, along with some other places I didn’t get to see.

And what else can I say about Savannah? It was a wonderful weekend away. That city has a piece of my heart, and I’m glad I was able to enjoy even more of it the second time around. Next time, I want to rent out an apartment or stay at a B&B in the historic district.

My nephew was born!

Dominic is the most delightful thing I have ever seen. Well, aside from six-and-a-half years ago when my first nephew was born! Dominic was born a few weeks early at the end of February, and he is a chunker. Which is my favorite. He’s got baby rolls for days.

Giving up soda for 46 days

This was such a tough challenge. It was tougher than the time when I quit soda for 30 days back in 2013. But I saw it through to the end and I am so proud of myself!

Running a 5k

I didn’t develop a love of running through training for this 5k, but I did it! I’m so glad the race is behind me, and I can focus on other forms of exercise that I like more.

Q1 Review – What Was Challenging

Budgeting

Spending within my means, saving money, and paying off debt. It was all hard, hard, hard for the first three months, and I don’t see this tough thing getting any easier over the next 3-6 months as I have a cruise in May and then a move in July. I want to put myself on a strict no-spending “diet,” but I’ve tried that before and I’ve failed miserably time and time again. Something’s gotta give, though.

Eating well

I’m trying. I really am. But I’m stuck on this 5-lb plateau where I lose a few pounds and then gain them back, lose a few pounds, and then gain them back. While I did give up soda for Lent, as well as eating sweets at work, I still slipped up more than I should have. And while my goal is to one day eat healthy 80% of the time, I’m nowhere near that right now. I’m not meal planning, not making recipes, eating out too often, and allowing myself too many “cheat meals.”

Dealing with Dutch’s injury

Dutch is 13 years old, and I am scared on a daily basis of losing him. So, when he injured one of his hind legs in March, I was terrified. Dachshunds have notoriously fragile backs; because their backs are so long, they are at greater risk of injuring them (this is also why an overweight dachshund is such a hazard.) So I was worried he injured his back. But it was simply a pinched nerve and within a week, he was back to his old self. He’s running up and down the stairs like a champ and even went on a long walk recently and to the dog beach this past weekend so I know he’s back to his old active self.

Looking ahead to Q2 (April, May, and June)

The next three months have a lot to look forward to! In May, I am taking a cruise with my mom, and some time at the end of May or early June, it’ll be time to make a decision on where I’ll be living next. I also really want to focus on budgeting and healthy living. These are two areas of my life that need so much work, and I sometimes get lazy with myself. It’s time to stop making excuses and start putting in the effort in order to see the results I want.

All that said, I’m setting five manageable goals to accomplish over this next quarter. I decided on four goals that have a definite end date; these are goals that just require a checkmark – Yep! Done! They are somewhat related to the goal categories I set for my monthly goals, and you might see them end up on those monthly reports, but we’ll see. The last goal I set is more of a habit-based goal; something that will take daily or weekly commitment and doesn’t have a specific end date.

Here are the goals I want to accomplish in Q2:

Refinance my auto loan.
Schedule an appointment with a therapist.
Launch a brand-new blog theme.
Make a decision on an apartment.
Start writing fiction again.

I really like the method of setting quarterly goals rather than yearly goals. Three months gives me enough time to make them ambitious, but I also have to be super specific with them so they are easy enough to accomplish in this time. I think the goals I set are definitely achievable, and I’m excited to see how this next quarter of the year unfolds for me!

What were the highlights of the first quarter of the year for you? What do you have to look forward to over the next three months?