Life – Page 49

Categories: Life

50 Guest Blogs, Part V

Happy Friday! I’m back with another update on my 50 guest posts goal. I’ve been slowly cracking away at my posts, but I still have a ways to go and I need to kick it into high gear if I want to meet my goal by the end of the year. I am up for posting on any blog with any topic you choose! Just fill out my form and we can chat!

26. Four Tips to Help You Reclaim Your Love of Reading (Steph the Bookworm)

Steph writes a book review blog so it was pretty easy to decide on a topic! I’ve wanted to write a post on this topic for a long, long time but was waiting on the right blog to write it on. Steph’s blog was the perfect one. This post was basically a how-to on learning to love reading again if you’ve lost that love. One of my worries when I was younger is that I would grow up and life would get busy and I would lose my love for reading. While there are times when my reading slows down, I’ve never actually lost that joy and pleasure from reading. When it’s something you love to do, you always make time for it.

“We deserve to get lost in a book, we deserve just 15 minutes to relax our minds and let go. Even if your to-do list is a mile long or you’re desperate to clear your inbox or you just don’t think you have time, you do.”

27. This Is Home (Beauty School Dropout)

This post has a lot of drama attached to it. Not with the blogger because Sarah is all sorts of awesome. But I wrote this post for another blogger and things didn’t work out and the way it happened left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s really sad when a blogger you used to admire turns out to be not as nice as you thought. But whatever. I moved on and sent this post to Sarah for her blog. It’s on the topic of home and what it has meant to me over the years, and how the meaning of the word has changed for me.

“When I was five, home was a small apartment with my parents and older brother. It was nightly Little Debbie snacks, breakfast eaten with eyes glued to the back of the cereal box, and watching my dad yell at the TV while watching sports.”

28. Tweaking New Year’s Resolutions (Anne Brannen Life Coaching Blog)

Anne contacted me for a guest post after I wrote about revamping my New Year’s Resolutions. She loved my take on what long-term goals mean and how they can change and I was more than happy to write more about my thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions. I love talking about goals so this was a fun post to write.

“I am a firm believer that no goal is set in stone. We are a people of fluidity, of changing habits and wants and needs. What we want at the beginning of the year doesn’t always hold true at the middle or end of it.”

29. Five Tips for Race Spectating (Everything Starts Here)

Emilie is an impossibly cute blogger who has recently connected with me and she filled out my form to let me post on her blog and I was more than happy to oblige! Emilie has started running and is currently training to run the Disney Wine & Dine Half-Marathon so I wanted to talk about something related to running and as someone who is Not A Runner but attends lots of races because my mom is Definitely A Runner, writing about race spectating was the perfect topic! There are some races that do a great job with spectating (Disney is amazing for spectators!) and some that make things incredibly difficult so this was just my take since I’ve been to… oh, over 25 races as a spectator, at least!

“Being a spectator at a race is a completely different experience than actually running the race. It’s inspiring, for sure. It’s fun to watch the front runners and cheer everyone on. I love being able to support my mom, whether she’s ‘just’ running a 5K or tackling a full marathon.”

30. On Living Alone (Lisa’s Yarns)

First, a few words about Lisa. She’s awesome… she’s awesome… and oh, did you hear? She’s awesome. I love Lisa. This year has been one shitty thing after another for her and I’m honestly praying my hardest that some really awesome things are headed her way or else God and I will be having words. I actually had a hard time thinking of what to write for Lisa because I had so many topic ideas floating around in my head. It took me a good 20-30 minutes to actually decide on my topic. But when I did, the words just flowed easily. This was a post I’ve been trying to write for my own blog for a while but the timing never felt right. It worked out and was really a great topic for her blog!

“There are many, many ways that I do feel like an adult – grown-up job, my own bills, my own car, etc. But then there’s telling people that yes, I do live with my mom and it feels like I’ve stunted myself.”

31. Singleness and Contentment in the Journey (Her Silent Musings)

Lauren and I share a lot of similarities. She is one of those people who absolutely get me on just about every level. She’s also a good friend to me and there have been many a venting email or text sent her way. Lauren wrote a post a few months ago about why she decided online dating is not for her. I do online date and though I have had very little success, I still keep my profile up and remain open to what could happen. This post was a little bit about online dating and a lot about being single and finding contentment in that. I really like writing about being single because I honestly never pictured being 25 and chronically single. But I am and that’s okay.

“I also want to be the girl who is fully, unapologetically in love with who she is, relationship or not. I want to be the girl who feels content in her singleness, knowing that one day love will happen for her but she’s not putting off what she wants in the meantime.”

Tell me: what does home mean to you?

Categories: Life

Life Lately

So that was August and it was a month to savor. I made the decision to step away from social media and blogging, knowing it was entirely possible my life was going to go through a dramatic change in August. All throughout July, I had been sending in writing samples and interviewing for a new position and it was on the first of August that I was offered the job.

August was a Month. It was a month of goodbyes, of hellos, of changes, of fun events and adventures, of rediscovering myself and what I want. I always feel a little lighter when I come back from a media fast. Life is fast, but life is slow. No more needing to Instagram or tweet or blog about all my moments. They were… there. Just there. It was a nice break, but I am oh-so-happy to be back.

Oh, it’s been a month. That’s for sure. Highlights, anyone?

> My last two weeks at my old job flew by in a flash. The first week was spent wrapping up all my projects and tasks and the second week was spent working with my boss to make sure my leave was as seamless as possible. Leaving the job itself wasn’t difficult, but leaving my coworkers broke my heart because they were never just my coworkers. They were my friends. There was a goodbye lunch with all my favorite ~~coworkers~~ friends, a surprise celebration with death-by-chocolate cake, and lots of hugs and sadness all around. I miss them terribly, but since my workdays end at 11:30am on Fridays (I KNOW!), I’ll be able to meet up with them for lunch often. Yay!

> I’ve been at my new job for almost three weeks now and everything has been going really well. It’s a completely different office environment than I’m used to and I’ve been slowly figuring out my place in it. It took me a long time to feel comfortable at my old job, so I know it will take more than a few months for me to fully open up and be myself at this one. I’m a painfully shy, socially anxious introvert so being quiet while testing the waters is just what I do. The writing aspect of it is going well. I’m actually really enjoying it but I am fully aware I’m in the honeymoon phase where everything is WONDERFUL and BRIGHT and EXCITING. It will pass, of that I am sure. For now, though, things are going well and I’m so, so happy I took the leap with this position.

> I quit Project 333 a few weeks early. Once I accepted my new position, I needed to figure out my clothing situation because I was going from a job where our dress code was to “wear clothes!” to a much more business-professional dress code. After two years of a casual dress code, I had to do some shopping! I ended up buying two dress slacks, two cardigans, and four new dressy shirts. I enjoyed doing the challenge, but I also am enjoying my bigger closet again. So I’m not sure where that leaves me with Project 333 and keeping my closet minimalized. That’s all I really have to say about that.

> I spent one Saturday morning in August volunteering at my local Feeding America food bank with my mom and her coworkers. I really had such a great time. Our job was to unpack boxes of food and place them in specified boxes, according to what type of food they were. (For example, anything pasta-related had its own box, canned veggies had their own box, juices had their own, etc.) We spent 4 hours there and I just really enjoyed myself. There were a ton of people. It was an event hosted by the Tampa Bay Rays for season ticket holders (which I am not, but I came along for the ride anyway) so there were a lot of people in a small warehouse. It was hectic and crazy and hot and very, very fun. The four hours flew by and before I knew it, I was signing my name on their volunteer wall and saying goodbye. It wasn’t hard work, but it was enjoyable and I loved the feeling of giving back. I’m definitely searching for another opportunity to volunteer for this wonderful organization!

> Dutch had his first dog beach experience! I went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to take him (he’s not the best at car rides) but on Sunday, my mom and I made the trek to Fort De Soto and we all had a blast. Dutch wasn’t a big fan of the water but I forced him into the ocean a few times. Mainly, he loved just exploring the beach itself and making friends with new dogs. The dog beach, though, goodness it’s just such a fun little spot. As my mom said, it’s impossible to not be happy when you’re there! So many dogs and they’re all so excited. We only stayed for a few hours but we’re planning on taking him again soon!

> I read 12 books in August. Reviews of all books will be coming next week, but let’s just say I am killing my book goal this year and I don’t think I will have any problems achieving my goal of reading 100 books this year. CRAZY! (I’m not sure if this means I have no life or if I’m just a fast reader. Probably a bit of both.)

> Because summer TV is pretty boring (aside from Big Brother and So You Think You Can Dance, of course!), I’ve been recording episodes of Friends. I have this goal of one day owning the series and watching it from start to finish because I never really watched it when it was on TV. So I’ve been recording random episodes here and there and it’s just very lovely. I love Friends. (How could you not?) And it’s just really, really funny to realize how “nineties” that show was. What with their pagers and landline phones and bad hair and all that. And Phoebe is still my favorite Friend.

And, really, that was my August. Quitting a job, starting another, and doing a lot of little things in between. It was a good month but I am so, so ready to be back in the world of blogging and social media. I missed it more than I imagined I would! I’m inspired and happy and so ready for what the rest of 2013 holds for me.

How was your August? Any big, or little, changes happen in your life?

Categories: Life

Goodbyes and Hellos

“Your fear is like an intuition-barometer. It lets you know how important this thing is to you. It lets you know how much this thing will help you grow. How it will expand you and peel away another layer so you can become your most authentic self. Fear tells us what we’re meant to do.” – Ashley, Why Terrifying Fear is Actually a Really Good Thing

Today is my last day at my current job.

On Monday, I begin a new journey. I have accepted a new position at a fast-growing marketing firm and I will be a copywriter.

How’s that for a little bit o’ news?

It’s been a surreal couple of weeks. I went through a rigorous interviewing process of three writing samples and two interviews. I felt good about my writing samples, solid in my interviews, and the job offer wasn’t exactly unexpected. (Though still incredibly thrilling and exciting!) But it has all felt surreal. It’s hard to imagine leaving my current job and starting over at a new company. It’s hard to imagine my coworkers won’t be my coworkers anymore, my job won’t be my job anymore. It’s hard to imagine that I will take the opposite direction to work, step into an entirely new office, and sit at a completely different desk. Everything will be different and it will be hard and yes, I am terrified but oh my god, this is exactly what I wanted and I can’t believe it’s all really happening.

Leaving my current company is bittersweet. My coworkers are so much fun to work with. We joke, we laugh, we vent, we confide, we gab, we support, we love. I love them fiercely. I wish I could take them with me. I will miss being around them. A piece of my heart will always be in that place because I grew so much as an individual and as a professional. It was not without its ups and downs, good days and bad days and happy days and frustrating days and days where I left work, sat in my car, and cried because I was so unhappy.

I took this job two years ago because I was interested in marketing. Armed with a degree in journalism and very little work experience to my name, getting a company to take a chance on me was difficult but less than three months out of college, I was offered a position as a marketing assistant which has morphed into a data analysis role. My whole world has revolved around spreadsheets and data and analytics and while it’s been interesting, it’s not something I love. It’s not what I want to do with my life. I feel squashed creatively and I have known for a while that there is so much more I can do, but this company was not where it was going to happen.

And now it’s time to say goodbye and ready myself for what lies ahead of me.

My mind is battling between excitement and nerves, happiness and terror. It’s scary to leave what’s comfortable and familiar. It’s scary because there is so much uncertainty. It feels like I’m jumping off a cliff into the great unknown and I am grappling with myself. Anxiety is part of who I am and big change like, um, changing careers is anxiety-inducing and pretty terrifying for me. But it’s terrifying in a good way. Terrifying in the way that I am choosing to honor myself, my worth, my passions, my purpose. Terrifying in the way that I am going after my goals, chasing after my dreams, and silencing the voices of doubt that tell me I can’t do this. Terrifying because success can be terrifying. I’ve spent so much time doubting my writing ability, telling myself my writing isn’t strong enough and my voice isn’t unique enough and look at this person and this person and this person, they know how to write! And now… a company hired me to write for them. Because my writing is strong enough. My voice is unique. I know how to write!

So today I will walk out of my office one last time and close this chapter of my life. Monday will start a new adventure for me, a new chapter in the book of me. I’m so happy that I could burst and so ready for what lies ahead for me. It will be challenging and full of learning experiences. I will be working longer hours (but only working until noon on Fridays! What what!) and doing more writing than ever before. I’m so thrilled, though, and so ready. I know this is exactly the right next step for me and I’m filled to the brim with excitement for what lies ahead.

Categories: Life

Break

A year ago, I made the decision to step away from social media and blogging for one month. I was coming off a really sad time in my life and I needed a way to get past what I was going through, learn how to deal with my emotions, and figure out what I wanted from my life. So I stepped away and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Social media brings with it so much noise, so many conversations and differing opinions and complaints. Sometimes, I scroll through my Twitter feed and it feels like one long list of complaints. Lately, I haven’t felt as connected to social media as I used to be. I open my Twitter app a few times a day, very rarely entering into conversations, and feeling less and less inclined to tweet. There is so much I have to say, but I just don’t feel like saying it.

Blogging has always been my happy place. I love making my monthly blogging schedules and sticking to them. I love writing posts, reading blogs, and connecting with bloggers. Writing about my life is therapeutic for me and I love the people and the things blogging has brought into my life. Lately, though, I’m feeling very uninspired to blog. The words I want to say don’t come out right when I write them. My thoughts feel jumbled and I’ve been deleting blog post after blog post because I’m just not saying what I want to say. I think I’ve placed a lot of expectations on myself to blog in a certain way and be a certain person, and I need to let go of those expectations and just blog from my heart. Blog about what I want to blog about, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. This is a lesson I feel like I’ve learned over and over again. I am hoping that stepping away for a month (though I may pop in a time or two if I feel a need!) will help me to find that inspiration and fire to blog again.

I’m also planning on seriously limiting my time spent on the Internet (mainly, reading blogs and responding to emails) to one hour a day and also limiting my TV watching to one show a day. Both can be such time sucks for me and sometimes, I even feel as if I’m not getting things done if my Feedly blog count is up or I have a ton of DVR-ed shows I haven’t watched. This is not what life is about. I need to refocus on the important things in this life: spending time with people, getting outside and enjoying the beautiful place I live in, and understanding that a day spent sprawled on the couch reading a book is not a day wasted.

So here we go. Another media fast is beginning and I think it is coming at such a perfect time in my life. I will be back in September with new posts and hopefully a renewed passion for blogging.

Categories: Life

Guest Post: A Letter To My Past

Happy Friday! I have a very special post for you today. While I’m on my own personal mission to write guest posts this year, I think it’s only fair I open my own blog up for guest posting. Akirah has just launched her own website that has a very personal and wonderful mission. I’m so excited to bring you her post – and as a special note, you should definitely hop on over to her blog as she’s running a very awesome giveaway – check it out here.

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Hello everyone! My name is Akirah Robinson. I recently launched akirahrobinson.com, my own special space on the Internet where I remind women of how brave their hearts are and teach them how to pursue healthy relationships.

Today I am really happy Stephany let me take over her special space on the internet because I love her blog, especially the letters she writes to her future husband. Her letters are always honest and show how committed she is to being with not just any man, but the right man. I’ve always admired that about her and thought today I would write a letter too. This letter is for twenty-four year old me, right after I finally decided to break up with my abusive boyfriend and learn how to live life on my own.

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Dear Akirah,

You did it. I am really proud of you. There will be some tough nights ahead, but trust me, you won’t regret this decision. In fact, in a few years you’ll consider it the best decision of your life. And you will be very happy.

You’ve known for a while that this relationship was wrong for you. Even on your first date, you knew something about him was off. I understand why you held on for so long though. Don’t feel silly for trying to make it work. You simply wanted what most of your friends already had: a boyfriend.

Boyfriends can be great, but not when they’re abusive. Over the next few months it will sink in just how unhealthy this relationship was. You’ll attend a support group for other survivors of abuse which will help you a lot. You’ll regain your confidence, run a 10K, start rockin’ an afro, and begin grad school.

You’ll date a lot of different guys and get your heart broken a few times, but after becoming stronger and wiser, you won’t take too long to bounce back. You’ll go dancing with your girlfriends, live in an apartment by yourself, and even accept a promotion at work. So many awesome things are ahead of you, Akirah. Your mid-twenties are going to ROCK!

That doesn’t mean life will be easy. There will be some nights when you cry yourself to sleep. You’ll read some article claiming that 70% of black women never get married and it will freak you out to your core. Some days you’ll feel fat and inadequate and ugly. You’ll grow impatient with singleness and wonder if you should take your ex back. And when all of your friends start to get engaged, you’ll freak out some more. It will feel like you’re being left behind, but try hard to trust your journey. Marriage and babies do not make your friends’ journeys any better than yours. Your journey is unique and beautiful.

Remember that.

This relationship may have failed, but you are not a failure. Everyone and their mother could see how much you gave this man. He just wasn’t able or willing to give you what you deserve in return. Hard work is crucial to a relationship and it must be reciprocated in order for the relationship to survive. One day you will meet a wonderful man and fall head over heels in love with him. After you get married, you’ll both work equally hard at your partnership. Words cannot express just how right he is for you. For now, be patient. Your life with him will be worth the wait.

Akirah, you must believe that even when you don’t have a man in your life, you are still valuable. Your worth is not determined by whether or not you are the apple of some man’s eye. This is a dangerous lie and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be. You’ll struggle with this a lot over the next few years, so do a little bit each day to change your perspective. You deserve to know the freedom that comes with self-love. Self-love will sustain you. Seeking validation from men will not.

These next few months are going to be hard. I won’t sugarcoat it for you; breakups suck. But your heart is brave. Let it guide you as you begin healing. Journal. Cry. Eat cookies in bed. Go dancing every weekend. Travel. Get a fish. Go shopping. Enjoy your girlfriends. Read good books. Run.

Focus on you.

After four years, it’s about time you see how awesome that can be.

XOXO,

Akirah