Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

50 Guest Blogs, Part III

Happy Friday! This week has been emotionally wrenching and sad and difficult and hard. We live in scary times, but we also live in a time of love, humanity, and openness. I am very proud of our country.

To close out my week, I wanted to give another update on my 50 Guest Blogs goal for this year. I have been thrilled with the people who have let me hijack their blog for a day and let me do what I love to do: write. Currently, I still have 22 spots left until I hit my goal, so please fill out my form or just let me know if you want me to guest post on your blog. I’m up to writing anything!

13. On Vulnerability as a Blogger (Love Everyday Life)

Becky and I share a similar blogging style and one thing I love about her and her blog is that she is very open and honest about her feelings – the raw, messy, honest emotions of real life. When she signed up to let me guest post on her blog, I knew immediately I wanted to write about why I let it all out on my blog. I know I tend to be more vocal about my feelings and emotions than other bloggers and it’s just who I am. I do want to be clear that I’m only vocal about my feelings and emotions. As open as I am, there is a lot I’m quiet about – mainly things that happen with my family. I don’t bring family issues into my blog. There is a lot (A LOT!) of stuff I desperately want to talk about, but I know it’s not always my story to tell so I keep silent. When I talk about being vulnerable and open, it’s about what I am going through personally.

“Being vulnerable means accepting that what you have to say is going to be messy and not everyone is going to agreed with what you have to say. And being okay with that.”

14. 3 Years, 9 Letters, and a Future Husband (Hey Smalls)

Lindsey has been writing letters to her husband, which is something she started after seeing my letters. So I decided to write about the why of my letters. I wanted to explain why I feel so passionate about these letters. It’s a little weird, really. Writing personal letters to someone I don’t yet know is a concept a lot of people don’t understand and that’s perfectly okay. I don’t write my letters to please anyone. I write them for myself – and for the man I will one day marry.

“I wanted to be able to give my husband letters that I wrote when I didn’t even know who he was. I wanted to write about finding him, about our path to the aisle.”

15. What Zip-Lining Taught Me About Life (Why Girls Are Weird)

Krysten is an old and dear blogging friend and she left the topic open for me to choose. Since we both share a love of cruising, I opted to write about a life-changing time on my May 2012 cruise: the time I zip-lined in Jamaica. The experience was out of this world and nothing has come close to comparing to that time. (Yet!) I wrote about my experience and the lessons that I learned about myself. It was a really fun post to write. (Well, let’s face it: talking about cruising in any form is fun for me!)

“Zip-lining is about letting go and just letting the experience take over. It’s about trust, free-falling, and what lies ahead of you. Smashing fear in the face and being completely present and filled up with exhilaration and excitement.”

16. The Truth About Timelines (Chatter)

Kara, who has the most adorable little baby, asked me to write about my thoughts on having children and/or how I plan on raising my own children. I have very mixed feelings about having children, which I think mainly has to do with the fact I am single and don’t feel any pressure to get married or have babies just yet. Right now, I’m very happy being childless. (Very, very, very happy!) My post ended up differently than I had imagined, as I talked about the timelines we set for ourselves when we were younger and how they change as we grow up and experience more of ourselves and the world.

“People are always going to tell you how you should live your life. No matter what stage of life you are in, people think they have the magic answer that will make your life worth living – even when you think you have a pretty decent life. Don’t buy into the “should be doing”‘s.”

17. The Necessity of Writing (Chaos and Words)

One of the most common requests for guest posts is to write about writing. My process, how I find inspiration, why I love to write. It’s one of my favorite topics to talk about and since her blog is geared towards writing and supporting writers in their journey, I decided to talk about why I want to be a writer. The path to becoming successful at this is lined with rejection and false hope but there’s no other road I’d rather be on. It means doing a lot of work for nothing, but I’m up for the challenge.

“The thing about doing something you love is that it’s not always going to make you happy. Once you discover what you’re passionate about, the hard work starts. That’s when you have to start thinking about how to make your dreams come to life. You have to be willing to fail. You have to understand why you want this so badly.”

18. Finding Jesus (Holiday From Real)

Karen asked me to write about a time I felt God’s hand on my life so I wrote about being a freshman in college. It was a hard, dark time in my life and I was very scared and very unhappy. I hated my roommate, hated being on campus, and all the classes I was taking were upper-level so I had no connection with anybody. (Imagine a shy 18-year-old in a roomful of 20-somethings! I felt so out of place.) It was during this time that I first began leaning on God and trusting Him to see me through this.

“It was those moments, more than ever in my life, that I felt God’s hand upon me. I felt Him guiding me, leading me, showing me that there can be light and joy. This crushing sadness was just a season – it didn’t mean my entire life was going to be this way.”

19. So You Wanna Go On a Cruise? (Sweet Green Tangerine)

Jessica is in the midst of moving to Germany with her family and put the call out for guest bloggers. It wasn’t hard to say yes to the opportunity to get another post down. She was interested in a travel-related post so I, um, talked about cruising. (Are you surprised?!) With this post, I went through the day-to-day life of being on a cruise ship – from the day you embark to your days at sea and ports of call to the day you disembark. While my experience is specifically geared toward Carnival cruises, I think it gives a good glimpse into what a cruise vacation is like.

“I think everyone needs to find the way they love to travel best – for some, it’s road-tripping around the country; for others, it’s planning exotic getaways. For me, it is cruising. Traveling had never been a huge passion of mine until I started cruising and now I want to cruise all around the world.”

Categories: Life

We Are Strong

“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (Message)

I was brought to tears many times on Monday. At first, when it happened and pictures from the scene started showing up. The chaos, the destruction, the panic. And then when the accounts started pouring in. Of runners running to the hospital to give blood. Of the volunteers stepping up and going above and beyond what they ever imagined they had to do. Of people opening their homes to displaced runners. Of there being no shortage of blood supply, thanks to people giving. Of the police and the EMTs and first responders – who just did their job and did it well.

I’ve participated in many races and I’ve spectated at even more. I love the running community. It’s supportive and inspiring. While I don’t ever see myself running a marathon, or even a half-marathon, I love being at races and the atmosphere that envelopes you. It’s intoxicating. Runners are incredible people with these fascinating drives to get out there and run for hours and hours at a time.

It took my mom over 7 hours to complete her two marathons. I know it’s not an impressive time (and sometimes she feels like she’s not really a marathoner because it took her so long) but just imagine being on your feet, running and walking and limping and hobbling, for seven straight hours. Heck, I can barely handle an hour of it before the monotony is too much. Checking off mile after mile after mile. All to say you ran a marathon and to get that coveted medal.

On Sunday, I participated in my fourth Iron Girl race. I walked the 5K with my mom and her coworker and it was hard. It was the first race I’ve done in a while where I haven’t listened to music and I have to say, you miss out on a lot when you’re listening to music. I felt such camaraderie with the people around me. We cheered each other on. We cheered when the front runners in the race passed us. We laughed at the signs people had made specifically to motivate us. There was such support from everyone. We all wanted to succeed and see the people around us succeed. A race is a place of celebration, of pride, of encouragement. It is not a place of chaos and destruction.

What happened on Monday was truly awful. I have never felt unsafe at a race, not when I’m participating or spectating. To take something so triumphant and inspiring and turn it into a tragedy like this, breaks my heart. It frightens me that something like this could happen – that someone could hate so much to bring darkness on such a celebratory day. My heart hurts for Boston, this place where my grandfather grew up and a city that doesn’t hide its passion. I know a lot of people from Boston and I love them all. They are good people.

When the tragedy of Newtown happened, I couldn’t put into words how I felt. I couldn’t listen to the news reports, couldn’t look at the faces of those children, without feeling so sickened and scared of the fate of our country. Thinking about the terror those kids and teachers must have faced is heart-wrenching.

I was eleven was Columbine happened and thirteen when 9/11 happened. I was young. I was clueless. I heard about it, shrugged my shoulders, and went about my day. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to understand how devastating these events were and would be for the rest of my life. They were sad events, but they didn’t affect my day-to-day life or anyone I knew so I couldn’t grasp what it meant for our country.

I was 19 and a freshman in college, living on a college campus when Virginia Tech happened. Thirty-two people killed. 

Then, just last year, there was a shooting in a random theater in Colorado. 12 deaths, 58 injuries. What? How could this happen? 

In December, a sick man walked into an elementary school and killed 26 people, including 20 children. This can’t be happening. Not here. Not now.

Two bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. 3 deaths, 183 injuries. How. Could. This. Happen.

Am I scared for our country? No, I am not. We are a strong country. We are unified. We are together. We are one.

We will not be silenced. We will go on. We will run races. We will kiss sweet babies and play silly games with children. We will travel to see friends, attend sporting events, and make each day count. We will not be silenced. We will love, most of all. We will laugh and cry and feel joy and life. We will love our families and love our friends and love our neighbors and love strangers. Love is the answer to all this. Choose love. Be love. Live love.  

Just as it was in Colorado and Newtown and Columbine and Virginia and New York – our hearts are with you, Boston. We are with you.

Categories: Life

50 Guest Blogs (Part II)

Happy Friday! This week has seemed to be the week for vulnerable posts for me, so I thought I would end the week on a bit happier note. 🙂 I’ve been busy, chucking away at my 50 Guest Blogs in 2013 goal. I wanted to take some time to highlight some of the awesome bloggers who have graciously let me take over their blog for a day. See Guest Blogs 1 – 6 here.

7. On Reading, Validation, and Embracing Your Passions (Walking with Nora)

Nora is one of my dearest friends and someone I greatly admire. (She’s also been my go-to girl to vent to when I’m frustrated about work or guys or life in general. She’s a gem, really.) Nora offered her blog for me to guest post on, leaving the topic open and I decided to write about a hobby we both hold dear to our hearts: reading. I am an avid reader, a bookworm to the extreme, and I wrote about embracing being a bookworm and being passionate about books and reading. I spent a lot of years being embarrassed that I loved reading so much and over the past few years I’ve begun to realize how silly that is. Hiding what you love to do because you’re afraid of what people may think is ridiculous.

“And isn’t that what reading is all about? Making the reader feel something – big or small? Taking our minds off the troubles of today and transporting them to a different place? Reading has become more and more about me, and less and less about what others think of me.”

8. On Careers, Doubts, and Understanding Self-Worth (Seattle Stevie)

Stephanie left the topic open for me so I decided to talk about my journey to discovering that my self-worth cannot be found in my career. I went through a bit of a quarter-life crisis when I started my first post-collegiate job as it was hard adjusting myself to a brand-new career and work atmosphere. I had moments where I was so incredibly happy and moments where I was so miserable I was leaving work in tears on a regular basis. I’m still trying to figure out what I want from my career but I’ve stopped placing my self-worth in what I do.

“I can’t pinpoint the day or what caused me to fall into downward spiral of self-doubt and unease with my life but it happened. I felt as if I wasn’t measuring up. I was falling short, not using my full potential, and  jealous of the super cool jobs those around me had.”

9. A Passion For Cruising (Considering the Campbells)

Molly left the topic open for me so I decided to blog about one of my favorite loves: cruising. Of course, this was posted right around the time Carnival was having issues with their ships so the timing couldn’t have been better, right? Yeah. I wrote about why I love cruising and gave three big reasons why I think everyone should take a cruise at least once in their life. Don’t knock it until you try it, right?

“…every time I get on a ship, it feels like I become whole again. I feel at home on cruise ships. I feel alive.”

10. Some Thoughts on Memorizing Scripture Verses (Life According to Amanda)

I can’t remember how I met Amanda but I’ve been following her on Twitter for a while now and when she signed up to let me guest post on her blog, I grasped a faith-related topic quickly. Since we’re both doing Beth Moore’s Scripture Memorizing Challenge this year, I thought writing about why I felt memorizing Scripture was important. I’ll be the first to admit I am not nearly as well-versed in Scripture as I should be, having grown up in church all my life. But I’m looking forward to changing that and finding my mindset change as I grab hold of verses that hold meaning to me this year.

“I want to be that girl who can whip out a verse to comfort a loved one, but I haven’t made it a priority. In essence, I suppose I have not felt that memorizing Scripture is a worthwhile investment of my time.”

11. On Being a Messy Christian (With Faith and Grace)

Allison is one of my close blogging friends and we went back and forth on topics to talk about. She was most interested in me writing a post around the title of her blog so I set to writing a piece that is now one of my favorite posts I’ve written. It centers on the book Messy Spirituality by Mike Yaconelli which transformed the way I view my faith. And it caused me to do some deep thinking about my faith and what I want from it. I love this post. You should read it. Yes.

“Sometimes, I forget how fiercely God loves me. How necessary I am to Him. I forget that I am part of His plan and He has never forgotten about me.”

12. Sitting On Dreams (Adorkable Me)

Erini left the topic open for me so I perused her blog to get a feel for what she writes about and how to connect my writing to it. In the end, I decided to talk about finding and cultivating your passion. I have always known that writing is my number one passion but never really thought about pursuing it as anything other than a pleasurable hobby. I talk about my path to discovering that this passion is something I want as more than a hobby – I want it to be my career.

“I am a writer to the bones of my body. Writing is what makes me me. I am lost when I don’t have a place to create.”

I still have lots of spots left for guest posting. If you’d be so inclined to let me take over your blog for one day for a guest post, please let me know in the comments, tweet at me, or fill out my form. I will love you forever and ever, amen.

Categories: Life

Guest Post: The Top 10 Life Lessons I Learned By Moving To Canada

I have an amazing guest post for you today. Ashley of Your Super Awesome Life put out a call for guest bloggers and as she so graciously let me guest post on her blog for my 50 Guest Blogs challenge, I knew I had to return the favor. Ashley is one of those bright spots in the blogosphere, with a mission to show women how they can achieve and live the life they want. She recently made a big move to Canada to live with her boyfriend and I wanted to hear her thoughts on what she’s learned in the month she’s been there.

Ashley-1 (2) a

It has been almost one month since I left Texas, arrived in Canada, unpacked my bags, and began settling into my new home. This major life change wasn’t completely unexpected – my boyfriend and I had been planning my move for almost a year – but it was still a decision filled with anxiety, fear, and self-doubt.

“Is this the right decision? Should I really quit my job? What if I get homesick? How will I make new friends in this new place? What if I hate it there? How will being together every single day change our relationship? What if this is all a huge mistake?”

My mind was racing with these questions for months leading up to the move. It helped me to talk it through with people I trusted, but there’s not exactly a magic wand that will erase these uncomfortable feelings. As the saying goes, the only way out is through.

You can’t figure out all the answers or plan ahead for every possible situation. You prepare, you do what you can, but eventually, you have to actually do it.

And so I stayed focused on what I wanted (to be in Canada with Peter) and kept moving forward. I kept going even though I was scared. This past month has been one of the most challenging, but also a time when I learned the most about myself and about life.

The Top 10 Life Lessons I Learned By Moving To Canada

10. Holding on to fear is worse than fear itself. If you can accept your fear for what it is (usually fear of the unknown) and stop trying to escape it, you will feel less overwhelmed and be able to focus on more important things. It’s the act of holding on to our fear that allows it to control us.

9. Time will never slow down, no matter how much you want it to. When you have a to do list that’s a mile long and you’re preparing to move to another country, a few extra hours in the day could be a game changer. Unfortunately, this is one thing we can’t change, so it’s best to just accept it now and focus on one thing at a time.

8. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. Your apartment might be a wreck, you haven’t been to the gym in months and you’ve eaten take-out for dinner every night this week. And you can still be happy. I know because I’ve been there.

7. Small acts of kindness make the world a better place. Be kind to strangers. Smile at people who look like they are having a rough day. Hold the door open. Offer to help carry a bag. Being kind shows people that you care and are interested in more than just yourself.

6. The first time is always scary. I don’t like uncertainty and I feel uncomfortable when I’m not sure what to expect with new experiences. But I’ve learnt over the years that most things are pretty scary the first time, but quickly become easier over time. So, take a deep breath and do it anyway.

5. There are no mistakes, only new adventures. When I begin feeling anxious, I remind myself that this isn’t a test I can fail. There are not right or wrong answers; this is all one big adventure.

4. You regret the things you don’t do more than the things you do. Out of all the things I’ve done, I don’t regret any of my big decisions. My regrets are reserved for not telling that person I love them, not taking that vacation, and not putting myself out there more often.

3. You can’t control other people, only how you react to them. People will have their own thoughts, opinions, and ideas, and you don’t have control over them. Even if they are insanely wrong or judgmental, the only thing you can control is how you respond.

2. Choose love. I was worried that I’d regret quitting my job and giving up my life in Texas, but now that I’m here, sitting next to my love and falling asleep in his arms every night, I can’t imagine anything else.

1. Trust yourself. Some people were concerned about my decision to move to Canada and questioned if it’s what I “should” do. I listened to their concerns, but I knew this is what I wanted. I learned to trust my heart and followed my intuition.

And finally, I want to share this lovely, and oh-so-true quote with you.

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” ~David Viscott

Ashley Wilhite is a Life Coach who helps courageous women break free from expectations, create radical change, and begin living a bigger, bolder, more radiant, super awesome life.  Whether you want to move across the country, backpack through Thailand, become a yoga instructor, write a book, or quit your soul-sucking job, Ashley will help you change your life, one daring adventure at a time! You can find Ashley at Your Super Awesome Life.

Categories: Life

50 Guest Blogs (Part I)

I have a personal goal to write 50 guest posts this year as a way to get my name out there and hone my writing skills. As someone whose dream is to one day support herself on her writing, it’s the necessary first step in discovering how to live my dream. I wanted to take some time to showcase what I’ve been writing – as well as spotlight those wonderful bloggers who have graciously opened their blogs for me.

1. On the Boldest Decision I’ve Made (Your Super Awesome Life)

Ashley posed the question for me on the boldest decision I’ve made for my post topic. It was an easy choice to make: deciding to change my major in my last semester before I graduated. It was a bold decision that required self-awareness to realize I was on the wrong path and wanted something different. I had to make a ton of sacrifices along the way. But it was absolutely the right decision and I’m proud of myself for stepping up and making a big choice for my future.

“I was meant to change majors, and maybe it was even I was meant to go through all the teaching classes to end up where I was at that moment in time.”

2. What Happiness Means to Me (Curious Notions)

Linda gave me the task of writing about what happiness means to me and I happily provided her with a post on my theory about happiness and how it has changed through the years. This was actually a hard topic to write about, funnily enough, because it required me digging deep and figuring out my own reasons for happiness.

“It’s easy to be happy when life seems to be perfect and everything is happening according to plan. That’s when being happy is a simple emotion. A reaction to the good that is happening.”

3. On Grace (Aisle Hi-Five)

I was really excited when Tabitha gave me some topic suggestions for my guest post on her blog and one of them was on faith. I wanted to write some posts on my faith walk for certain blogs and hers was an appropriate blog for this! My post centered on two of the words that have come to mean the most to me lately: grace and mercy. Ever since a pastor defined them for me, they have held such great meaning in my life.

“For me, my faith stopped becoming about being perfect. It stopped being about my actions and all the ways I needed to be “good” for God to love me.”

4. Blogging: A Personal Journey (Life by Kristen)

Kristen left the topic up for me to choose and since she is currently on a path to figure out where she wants her blog to go, I thought giving an insight into my blogging journey and what has worked for me to get to “where I am” (not that I consider myself a mega-popular blogger, but I’ve been doing this a while and can give my advice for new bloggers). It’s been an uphill battle to come to terms with my blog and where I fit in the blogging world, but I think I’ve found my place.

“The formula for what makes a blog a success is unique to each blogger. I had to go through a lot of growing pains to find the formula that fit for me.”

5. To Florida, With Love (Colorful Calm)

Maria lived in Florida for a short period of time and misses this great, beautiful state so it was a no-brainer for what to write about: why I love Florida. I have such intense love for my state and I never want to leave. Quite honestly, I live in paradise.

“I love the beach, the hot sand between my toes, and the crisp, salty water splashing around me.”

6. On Writing and the Process of Inspiration (Dynamite Candy)

Liz of Dynamite Candy “works with writers, artists, and comic artists to get their dream projects off the ground and help them take the first steps toward their dream careers.” She hosts a podcast on her journey to becoming a solo-preneur. Her suggestion was to write about my writing process and inspiration. This was a post I wrote straight from my heart and, gosh, it was so much fun. I honestly had the best time writing this guest post.

“My goal has been to be honest and truthful, in the hopes I will inspire others and let them know we are all crazy and messy and that’s what makes life beautiful.”

Want to help me out in my goal to guest post on 50 blogs this year? Fill out this form and let’s get things started!