1) Valentine’s Day

I mentioned this on Instagram, but Valentine’s Day was a hard day for me. It usually is. I know it’s a silly, made-up holiday and that you can celebrate all kinds of love on Valentine’s Day, but there is still this part of me that feels sad and lonely to be partner-less for yet another Valentine’s Day. One of my friends who is also single checked in on me on Monday, and we both commiserated about how hard the day had felt. It felt good to express my sadness to her and to be understood. I also read an Instagram post from another single person who talked about how hard Valentine’s Day can be for single people. I know many couples don’t celebrate this holiday in any meaningful way, but that doesn’t take away how lonely the holiday can be for so many people. It’s different not doing anything for Valentine’s Day when you’re coupled up and happy in love, and not doing anything for Valentine’s Day because you don’t have a romantic partner to celebrate with, you know? And while it can seem like a silly holiday, I know my feelings of sadness and loneliness are not silly. They are true to my experience, and it’s okay for me to get sad and wonder if there will ever be a Valentine’s Day I get to spend with a romantic partner.

2) So much to do, so little time, part II

When I talked about my inability to keep up with my blog reading last week, I certainly didn’t do it so that you could all tell me that it’s okay if I don’t comment on all of your blogs all the time. But I really appreciate your grace and kindness during this very busy time in my life. I’m still trying to get my bearings with my new role and figuring out how to fit in all of my hobbies into shorter windows of time. I’ve even found that I have less time to listen to podcasts. I just started working through episodes that were published at the beginning of this month, whew. But it’s good to be busy, good to have too many hobbies to pursue. I’ll figure it out in due time and right now, I am going to try to extend the grace you all gave to me to myself.

3) In case of my death

Suzanne wrote a really fascinating post this week about death—I know, it sounds so morbid, but it was a really interesting discussion about what would happen to her blog, how would her loved ones inform her blog readers, etc. Once my grandfather passed away unexpectedly in 2018, my family quickly found out how hard it is when untimely death occurs and nobody is ready. We didn’t have access to his bank account, or certain bills he had set up, or his email account. It was really difficult to get what we needed to do something as simple as shutting down a bank account or phone. Since my grandmother had already passed away, it was up to my mom to figure it all out as the executor of his estate. Anyway, ever since that happened, I’ve wanted to have some sort of document for my loved ones to access where they can find out all of the important information, between financial information and passwords to my email accounts, social media accounts, and my blog. And I guess I need to figure out who could post to my blog to inform people of my death. That’s not really something I want to put on anyone, but I guess one of my friends could handle the job. I think? This is so morbid, I know, but I think about death a lot (since I’m always worried about people dying—believe me, if you regularly post to your blog and go a week or so without a post, I’m convinced you’re probably dead) and I feel strongly that it’s good to have these plans in place. I hope to outlive my blog, of course (will I really be blogging in my 80s? Time will tell, I guess), but if I don’t, I want people to know what happened.

4) An update on my facial rash

Onto a less morbid topic. I have good news: my facial rash is effectively gone! Finally! There’s still a little bit of redness in the area, but it’s not as itchy or annoying as it was in the past so I’m considering it healed. I’ve started to implement a low-key skincare routine—cleanser, toner, and moisturizer—and it’s been going well so far. I’m going to continue this low-key routine for another week or so and then add one new thing every few weeks to make sure my skin doesn’t react. Next up: I’m going to add in my twice-daily niacinamide serum. Fingers crossed everything goes well, and this was all a flukey skin thing!

5) A melatonin jump-start

My sleep hasn’t been the greatest this week, and I’m not really sure why. It just feels like I can’t get comfortable and I can’t shut my mind off (usually, I’m just thinking about everything I need to do the next day). I’ve been taking melatonin right before bed this week and it has helped tremendously, as it always does. Sometimes, it feels like my body just needs a little extra dose of melatonin to jump-start its melatonin production. I never need to take it for very long, maybe only a week or so, and then my body seems to naturally go back to its normal state of falling asleep very easily. (<– And believe me, I don’t take that ability for granted!)

1) Annotating what you read

Do you annotate what you read? If I’m reading a particularly dense nonfiction book, I’ll highlight and tag important passages to go back to later, but I rarely highlight or keep track of quotes when I’m reading fiction or non-dense nonfiction. Meredith and Kaytee, hosts of the Currently Reading podcast, talked about annotating what they read in a recent episode and it really got my mind churning. Meredith has a great system where she will spend a few minutes every morning collecting the quotes she highlighted from the previous day and writing them down in a notebook. I like the idea of doing this myself (sometimes I will take pictures of quotes that speak to me if I’m reading a print book, or use the highlight feature if I’m reading an e-book), and I’d like to interact with what I’m reading and the quotes that impact me in a deeper, more meaningful way, and this seems like a really good option. But then… what do I do with all of these quotes? Do I just have them in a book to flip through every now and then? Would I ever actually do that? I don’t know! It’s something to think about.

2) A new coffee table

On Friday, I ordered my new coffee table and it arrived on Tuesday! It was super easy to put together and I love it so very much. I have all of my coloring supplies in the basket (I love my adult coloring books and color in them every night!). And I have an easy place for my one-line-a-day journal and planner so that they are within reach at all times. It also provides a much better view for my video calls, since my camera faces in its direction. Now, if only the floor lamp I’ve been eyeing wasn’t out of stock! I need that final piece to tie my entire living room together.

3) So much to do, so little time

I’ve felt very stressed lately about keeping up with blogging. My Feedly is out of control right now, and I am so behind on reading blogs. I’m trying not to put too much stress on myself to read blog posts in a timely manner—I know that I do not mind when people comment on blog posts that are a few weeks old—but it’s hard. At this point, the best I can do is write 3 posts a week, try to respond to comments within a week, and read as many blog posts a day as I can (which is usually just a few). I could try to set aside one hour a day for blog reading, but some days, it can be really hard to find an entire hour of free time that doesn’t eat into all of my other hobbies (like reading).

I think the other reason I feel like I’m falling behind with blogging is that, with my new role, work feels remarkably tiring in an entirely different way. During a meeting I had with my supervisor, she made a comment that it’s almost like I’ve started a brand-new job where the first few months are spent in an information overload. I really feel that way! While there isn’t a ton of new stuff to learn, the cadence of my days is so different. I have at least a few meetings every day, I’ve had to get real good at monitoring and responding to emails, I have to make lots and lots of decisions… I could go on. It just feels very different, and I end each day feeling completely exhausted. I’m finding it hard to take my lunch break, mostly because it seems all of my meetings fall during the lunch hour, between 11 and 2. And during the day, I’m just so busy with tasks that I barely come up for air to take a break and read some blogs. When I do take a break, I want to step away from my desk, take a walk, do a chore, take a shower. At the end of each workday, I just want to lay down on the couch, read my book, play on my phone, watch TV. Opening up my laptop does not appeal to me.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Maybe I just wanted to have a reason for why I’m commenting on some of your blog posts two or three weeks after you published them. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest, to say I’ve been feeling a bit stressed about how to fit in all of my hobbies into a busy life.

4) The week everything broke

Okay, well only two things broke this week but let me have my drama! On Monday, I accidentally broke off my entire kitchen faucet when I pressed down too hard on the button that switches the water stream from a steady stream to a rainfall-type stream. (Who knew I had Hulk strength?!) I was without a working kitchen faucet for a day and had to start washing some of my dishes in my bathroom sink. That was fun! Thankfully, it got fixed on Tuesday. (And before you ask, while I do have a dishwasher, I have never used it because it’s much easier for me to wash things by hand since it’s just me and I dirty so few dishes every day. As such, I do not have any dishwasher detergent on hand.)

On Tuesday morning, I filled up the girls’ cute flower water fountain and later on, noticed water all over the floor. Apparently, there’s something wrong with the water fountain and it has stopped draining properly. Ughhh. I just got this water fountain in July and it’s already stopped working? So disappointing! I’m on the hunt for a new water fountain, but I’m feeling a bit peeved at how quickly this one stopped working. If you have a favorite water fountain you use for your pets, let me know.

5) The Olympics

Are you watching the Olympics? I know some people are boycotting due to the Games taking place in China, but I’m watching them. And I’m so very tired from staying up late every night! I was up until 12:30 a.m. on Wednesday night because I wanted to watch the end of the men’s free skate and see if Nathan Chen would win the gold medal. It was so worth the wait! His free skate was amazing. There is just something so inspiring to witness these athletes, who have worked so hard for so long, seeing their dreams come true. Ahh!

On the other hand, it breaks my heart to see the athletes who don’t see their dreams come true, especially those who come into the Olympics with such high expectations. I’m thinking of Mikaela Shiffrin here who DQ-ed two of her races and how disappointing that must have felt! The mental health of Olympians is something that just isn’t talked about enough—thankfully, Simone Biles started the conversation during the Olympics last summer—and I just hope Mikaela has a great support system by her side. (I’m so very glad her mom is part of her coaching team and is at the Games with her; you need your mom during times like these!) There are such high expectations on these athletes (don’t even get me started on social media and the way people talk about athletes!) and we need to talk more about how that can affect one’s mental health.