Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 59)

1) I think I have finally mastered second-day hair! I used to wash my hair every day because it got so greasy and flat if I didn’t. Second-day hair basically grossed me out. But I wanted to master second-day hair because I thought it might help keep my color locked in longer. So I began the very slow process of “training” my hair to only get washed a few times a week. I found a good dry shampoo (this is what I use) and also checked out YouTube videos on the correct way to use dry shampoo (turns out, I was doing it wrong all along!), and I’m actually really loving my second-day hair now. It doesn’t feel greasy or gross anymore! There are actually days I even forgo dry shampoo because my hair feels fine without it. My next goal is to master third-day hair—right now, I either throw it up in a bun or wash it (if I’m doing something where I feel like I *need* to style my hair). Third-day hair feels a little too greasy to style, even with dry shampoo. But hey! I am proof that it is possible to train your hair to not need to be washed so frequently. I never thought I could go 2-3 days between washing it!

2) I tried to make this recipe on Monday night. It sounded so good! But the experience of trying to make it reminded me how much I hate cooking, especially recipes that involve a ton of tiny steps and multiple pans. (I mean, maybe for you, this recipe sounds simple enough. Not for me, apparently!) I should have prepped all the ingredients beforehand, but I figured I would just get them out along the way, and that was a huge mistake. The butter in my saute pan burned before I could chop and add the red onions (I have a fancy chopper that does all the “chopping” work for me so I thought I could do it quickly while the butter was melting in the pan.) Anyway, the recipe turned out awful and I wasted so much food and time and energy. This is why I stick to my tried-and-true recipes, sigh.

3) I’m on a little Instagram break right now, and it’s been wonderful. I deleted the app from my phone early last week after seeing a few too many posts that made me feel bad about myself. Whenever that happens, I know it’s time to step away for a little while. I did sign back in on Sunday to write a post for Lila’s “gotcha” day and update Stories with my latest reads, but deleted the app after I had done that. I really needed this breather from Instagram! I spend so much time mindlessly scrolling the app—something I didn’t realize until this week, as I find myself continuously opening my phone with no intention; I just want to mindlessly scroll. But since I don’t have any sort of social media on my phone right now (I took Twitter and Facebook off sometime last year), the mindless scroll is basically nonexistent for me. I’ll probably put the app back on my phone soon, but right now, it’s been really good for my mental health to be off it.

4) Who watched the Democratic debate on Wednesday night? Hoo boy, it got intense. Loved seeing Elizabeth Warren so fired up—she’s been my choice from the beginning and I’ve been frustrated by the results of the Iowa caucus and New Hampshire primary. The way the whole field of contenders piled onto Bloomberg was pretty damn amazing. (Also amazing was the way Elizabeth Warren called on him to release his former employees from their NDAs and his whole response to that mess.) I only watched the first 90 minutes because it started so late for us East Coasters (9pm on a weeknight – what!) I donated to Elizabeth the next day and I am really hoping her strong debate performance helps her in the Nevada caucus. *prayer hands*

5) I have a busy weekend planned! Today, I’m taking Lila to the vet for a checkup and shots (pray for meeee) and might meet up with a friend for a reading date. Tomorrow, I get to see LISA (!!!) for lunch and then have a bonus project to complete for work. And Sunday is my nephew’s birthday party (he’s FIVE today, time makes no sense to me).

Happy weekend! Tell me something good that happened to you this week. 🙂

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 17)

Happy Friday and Happy Valentine’s Day! I have today off work, but not for fun reasons. I have an orthopedic appointment this morning and a vet appointment for Eloise this afternoon (just her annual wellness visit). Let’s hope my ortho has good news for me and Eloise doesn’t put up too much of a fuss about being at the vet. (She’s usually pretty chill, even at the vet, so she should be fine.)

I have more questions from the Real Talk Radio podcast to answer today! One of my favorite post series. <3

1) What’s something you do purely for fun and joy?

Writing this blog! I don’t do this for money—as I’ve said before, it’s a hobby that actually costs me money with hosting fees and all that. I’m not interested in growing my blog into a business or using it to further my career; I just love having a space to come to and chat about my life. I love the friendships I’ve made from blogging and how strong those bonds are. I love the catharsis of writing about my life and getting advice and feedback from other people. Writing this blog is so much fun for me; I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t fun. I love thinking about blog topics and writing posts and creating graphics. I’ve been writing this blog for over a decade now and I tell myself I’ll stop when it’s no longer fun, and I am so, so grateful that time has yet to come.

2) What’s one boundary of yours that’s important to you and what does it look like in your real life to enforce it?

My alone time. I guard my alone time fiercely because it’s the #1 thing I need in order to keep my anxiety at bay. This means I say no to plans on a fairly frequent basis. I know that can be annoying to some friends, but pleasing everyone is never an achievable goal and I have to take care of myself first and foremost. I try to only make weeknight plans once a week (twice at most) and then 1-2 plans on the weekends. And if I have plans on a weekend, let’s say I make plans for a Saturday night, then I’ll keep my Saturday morning/afternoon free so I can make sure my batteries are fully charged before then. My alone time is so sacred to me and it’s the boundary that I have no problem enforcing in my relationships.

3) What are three things you are grateful for lately?

Work friends – I went through a period in 2018 and a good part of 2019 where I felt a little adrift at work as all my close work friends left for new jobs. It was a hard transition period, as I had gone from having seven or eight coworkers to talk to on a daily basis and vent about work issues to… none. But things have shifted for me and I’ve found a new group of close work friends. This makes me really happy because I am someone who needs friends at work. I do not thrive in a solitary work environment. I need buddies to chat with and have lunch with and vent to. I’m so glad I’ve found that again!
A loved one feeling better – I’m not going to get into specifics here as it’s not my story to tell, but I am so, so grateful for this after months of worry and fear.
Great sleep – I have been implementing a nighttime routine this week (finally!) and it’s been going really well. I’m usually crawling into bed by 9:15 to read (one night, I was in bed by 8:45!) and getting a solid 7-8 hours of sleep. It’s divine!

4) What’s one thing you do in your most important relationships that keeps them strong and happy?

I will admit that I am still learning how to be a good friend, and I have my own hangups about friendship that I am constantly talking about in therapy. (Mostly me saying, “I think all my friends hate me,” and my therapist countering, asking me what evidence I have that supports that theory and me mumbling, “None. But it’s probably true.”) Back in high school, I had a lot of one-sided friendships that fell away during college and it took me a long time to be able to trust people again and want to put effort into my friendships.

Anyway, I am in a much better place now and have a cohort of close girlfriends who mean the world to me. I try to regularly check in with them through text and make sure to plan things with them, like one-on-one dates or happy hours and such. It’s always hard to balance time with my girlfriends with the alone time I crave, but I try to make it work. Just as having too many plans makes my anxiety ratchet up, too much alone time makes my mood dip drastically. A good balance is key.

5) What’s the last thing you felt really excited about?

Lol, my tax refund. It’s the first time in three or four years that I haven’t had to report freelance earnings, so I was pleasantly surprised with my refund this year! It’ll allow me to nearly pay off my credit card, although I think I’m going to set aside a small portion of my refund to buy myself something special. (And by “something special,” I mean a cordless vacuum because that’s what I’ve been dreaming about lately. It’s really true what they say, adults are so friggin boring.)

What’s the last thing you felt really excited about?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 58)

1) A cold front blew through Florida this week, and it’s been so lovely! It’s been nice to actually wear the expensive pea coat I bought last winter and bundle up. We got down to 28 degrees on Wednesday morning! I have to say, though, I don’t know how people in cold climates do it. It’s been such a struggle to get out of my cozy bed every morning! I don’t want to face the cold! The weather is warming up already (lows in the 50s) and I can’t lie—I’m not upset that our cold front was a short one. Gimme back my warm weather!

2) I’ll admit that I rarely keep up on fashion trends, but I have been keeping my eyes and ears open when I heard that scrunchies… might be back in style? At first, I was a bit appalled. What happened to the good, old black elastic? It was perfectly useful, not gaudy like a scrunchie. But after seeing every young 20-something in my office happily wearing their scrunchies, I had to get on board. I picked up a pack of scrunchies at Target last week and started wearing them this week and oh my god, they are so much better than elastics. So much gentler on my hair! And I don’t have to worry about getting that annoying ponytail crease. I’m so into this trend now.

3) Tuesday night was book club, and one of my friends graciously opened up her home to us and even made us a delicious pot of chili. It was so good, warm and comforting, and now I have a serious craving for chili. I may whip out my new Crock-Pot this afternoon to make a big pot of chili for myself. I don’t love making chili just for myself because it makes so many servings (even when I freeze half of it!), but I think I need to take care of this craving.

4) I have a secret goal this year (as in, I didn’t officially put it on my yearly goals list) to watch one movie a month. I want to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, turn off the lights, put my phone in the other room, and let myself zone out with a movie. I want to start by watching the slew of 90s rom-coms that I missed out on. (Or maybe I did see them and just can’t remember? I dunno.) Tonight is a You’ve Got Mail kinda night, I think!

5) My first book for the Unread Shelf Challenge was a fail! I tried reading Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance, and Revolution in Trump’s America, which features essays by all sorts of badass women. But two essays in and I realized… I don’t want to dwell on the 2016 presidential election anymore. I should have read the book when it came out (2017) because I think it would have brought me great comfort at a time when I was feeling hopeless and dejected. But it feels a bit dated to read it three years later. Oh, well.

Tell me a movie I should watch this year! 🙂

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 32)

The high of my week was the 49ers winning their playoff game! My brother is a diehard 49ers fan—he still has his Steve Young jersey from when he was 8! It’s been a really fun season for his team and they have been looking like a strong Super Bowl contender. You never know what can happen in the playoffs (seriously, who saw the sixth-seed Titans beating the unstoppable Ravens?!), so I was definitely nervous about the game, but they pulled off a strong win! Now I have to root against the Packers on Sunday, which will be difficult for me considering how deeply I love Aaron Rodgers. 😉

The low of my week was dealing with some personal issues. It’s hard when the low of my week is something I can’t talk about since it’s not my story to tell. But I’ve been trying to help someone through a really difficult time and it’s hard to feel so helpless. All I can do is give as much of my love and support as possible, while also protecting my own mental health. It’s a struggle.

A blog post I loved was My Evening Routine to Wind Down by Kelsey. I used to have my evening routine down pat, falling asleep between 9:00 and 9:30, but for the past few years, I find myself on the struggle bus when it comes to bedtime. A lot of nights, I find myself working on my laptop until 9 or 10 and then rushing through my evening routine to try to get to bed before 11. I’m really inspired by this post, though, and I’m going to start brainstorming how I can have more peaceful evenings like hers.

A podcast episode I enjoyed was There Will Be Bananas on Throughline. Who knew that there was such a troubled history about bananas? This episode was fascinating and definitely made me look at the banana industry a lot differently.

The best money I spent was $15 that I put into my “no-spend fund.” I heard about this idea from a blogger who has a savings account that she puts money into on the days she doesn’t spend any money. I think she puts $10 in every time. I chose $5 and I had three days this week where I didn’t spend any money, so into the savings account it goes. I’m not sure what I’m going to use this money for—maybe a Sephora or Old Navy shopping spree when the fund is over $100? Or maybe I’ll use it to save up for something I really want like a new Chromebook (mine is so old that it’s no longer updating, eeks). But, for now, I’m just going to put away tiny amounts of money and see how it adds up. It really motivates me to have spend-free days!

My plans this weekend include an eye appointment this afternoon followed by a friend date. We’re not sure what we’re doing yet, either reading by the pool, taking a trip to the beach, or doing some adventuring in a nearby city. Tomorrow, I have a hair appointment and then I’m dog-sitting for a friend. And Sunday is a writing date and watching the NFL championship games. 🙂 A busy, full, lovely weekend ahead!

Tell me the high of your week!

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 16)

Happy Friday! It’s been a while since I answered some Friday Questions. I’ve been saving a handful of these to answer at the end of 2019/beginning of 2020 as they are reflecting on what happened over the past year or what I’m thinking about in the coming year. Let’s dive in! (As always, these questions were taken from the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast.)

1) What’s something that you’ve gotten better at over the past year?

I’ve gotten better at not letting other people’s emotions dictate my own. I’m someone who takes on the energy of other people, so if someone comes to me with a problem or needs to talk about something sad, my entire mood shifts. (It also works for my benefit, though, as I will take on the happy emotions of other people!) I feel like I’ve started to understand how to be there for people and listen to their problems without being drawn into their sadness or raw emotions. Therapy has helped me immensely with this as well as constantly reminding myself that I am not responsible for anyone’s emotions, only my own. (That sounds a bit selfish, I know, but I don’t mean that I don’t care about other people anymore. I mean that I have to let people feel their feelings without trying to step in and fix things and make them happy again. That’s not my job. I’m not the happiness police.)

2) What’s something that you find challenging lately?

Dating. Dating has always been challenging for me, and I’m starting to wonder if the app-based dating world is just not for me. I swear it’s just an exercise in futility. Of crafting clever messages to only get “lol” in response and conversations that go nowhere. I’m trying to put a lot of effort into dating this year but man, a week back on the apps and I’m already ready to throw in the towel.

3) What feels most important to you this year?

Getting my financial life together. Honestly, it’s more than time for this considering I’m solidly in my 30s and I can’t continue carrying these bad money habits with me. Something’s gotta give. I want to be smarter about the way I choose to spend my money. I want to keep daily tabs on my checking account (sometimes I won’t check it for over a week because I’m too overwhelmed). I want to save more than I ever have. I just want to feel good about my financial life. I want to feel secure in my financial future. I’ve never really felt that way and I want that to change in 2020.

4) What’s one place you would love to visit in 2020?

I’ve been thinking about planning a visit to Niagara Falls. This would be the “big” trip I take this year with my mom, and we’d explore both the U.S. and Canada sides. I also have a price alert set up for flights to Hawaii, lol, so we’ll see if the price comes down to a reasonable number. Hawaii is probably #1 on my bucket list so fingers crossed!

5) What’s one thing that you’re objectively pretty bad at but you love to do anyway?

Dancing. Listen, I’m your garden-variety white girl who cannot dance to save her life. I refuse to look at photos or videos of me dancing because I know I will die of embarrassment. But it’s still so much fun for me (especially after a few drinks when all my inhibitions are down) to just let loose and move my body in a way I don’t normally allow myself to. It helps to have friends who don’t care what I look like when I dance and push me onto the dance floor. 😉

What’s one place you’d like to visit this year?