Recurring Series

Friday Questions

One of my favorite podcasts is Real Talk Radio with Nicole Antoinette. She releases her episodes in seasons, rather than once a week or every other week like most other podcasts. Each season comes out every other month and all eight episodes download at once. I’m completely behind on her episodes (I’m still working through season 9!), but one of the things I love is the “Community Questions” that she asks at the end of every episode. It’s a handful of random questions, but they’re not your typical kinds of questions! They are actually really insightful and interesting, and I’ve always wanted to answer them myself.

So I am!

This won’t be something I do every Friday, but maybe once or twice a month, I’m going to pick out five “Community Questions” from her podcast and answer them. I’d love for you to play along – either on your blog or in the comments! The questions below are the ones she posed to guests in season one of the show. I hope you enjoy!

1) Are there any practices or habits that you do to honor your creativity?

I try to write as much as I can. I publish two posts a week on this blog and I’m trying to write a novel. My day job also involves a lot of writing and editing, so you’d think I’d want to spend my weeknights and weekends doing anything but writing. Instead, I write all the time. There’s something less at stake when it comes to my blog and my novel. I’m writing both just for me and I don’t have to worry about it sounding perfect. I don’t heavily edit my blog posts (I just do one read-through to try and catch any typos!) and right now, as I’m in the “shitty first draft” phase of my novel, I also don’t worry about that sounding perfect. I just write as it comes to me, and I’ll worry about how it all comes together later.

Also, reading. I spend at least an hour a day reading, usually more. There’s nothing that fires my creativity more than reading.

2) What is one burning question that you have no idea how to answer, but that you think about a lot?

I’ve been thinking about my answer to this question (isn’t that a great question, though?) and I think it comes down to this: can I be happy if I never found a lifelong partner? Do I need romantic love to have a happy and satisfied life?

One of the things I always come back to is thinking about what sparks jealousy in me. People running marathons or starting their own business or taking on crazy health challenges doesn’t spark jealousy in me. But seeing cute couple photos or hearing about an engagement or pregnancy? Yeah, that sparks jealousy in me. The kind of jealousy that tells me that I can lie to myself all I want about how I don’t need romantic love to be satisfied, but the truth of the matter is that I deeply desire a family of my own. I want to find that lifelong partner. I want to find that person to share all of my life with.

And what do I even do about that? I’m on the dating apps. I’m putting myself out there. And nothing is really happening. I’m just in this pattern of swiping and messaging and first dates that usually never evolve to a second date. Is it me? Is it them? Is it just not my time right now?

All I know is that I don’t think I could be wholly satisfied with my life if I never found that person I’m meant to be with. And that scares the shit out of me.

3) What’s a challenge you’re facing right now, and what are you doing to work on it?

My biggest challenge is trying to figure out how to balance freelance work and free time. I’ve learned that while my budget survives without a freelancing income, I don’t feel as comfortable with my finances without it. I only use freelancing income as a way to throw more money into my savings or at my debt, but I got into a rocky spot in May with my finances and was very glad when two different clients reached out to me for work a few weeks ago. But trying to figure out how to still enjoy my weekends and free time, while also spending 10+ hours on freelance work, has been a challenge.

The only thing I know to do is intersperse weekends where I don’t do any freelancing with weekends where I do a ton of freelancing. I’ve spent the last three weekends busy with freelance stuff, and this weekend is free of commitments, so I feel less crazed about it all and more able to focus on myself and some of my personal projects.

4) Which book have you reread the most?

This is a tough one for me because I don’t reread books a ton. I probably reread The Baby-Sitter’s Club books all the time as a child. I’ve also reread Suzanne Brockmann’s Troubleshooters series two or three times (and thinking it might be time for another reread soon!)

5) What do you consider to be your most important self-care practice?

Gosh, I can’t really decide between reading or sleeping. I honestly need both. I need a good 8-9 hours every night and taking a nap on a weekend afternoon is one of my favorite things to do. But I also can’t go a day without reading. I have to end every day curled up in bed, reading my current book.

I want to know – are there any burning questions YOU have?

Categories: Recurring Series

5 Thoughts On My Recent Vacation (and Vacations in General)

1) My trip to Puerto Rico was the first non-cruise vacation for my mom and me in a really long time. Actually, excluding our weekend trips to Savannah, it’s probably the first real vacation outside of cruises we’ve taken together. (We didn’t travel as a family when I was younger.) And, guys, we’ve been spoiled by cruise ships. We quickly learned how much we enjoy not having to worry about where to eat every single day for every single meal. I missed just going down to the lido deck for lunch at the buffet and to the dining room for a yummy, sit-down dinner. Instead, every meal felt like a production. We not only had a find a place to eat (that would suit our very picky tastes!), but also had to figure out a way to get there. Should we just find a restaurant within walking distance or take an Uber? It’s funny because people who don’t enjoy taking cruises cite this very reason for why they don’t like them: having their meals decided for them. They want the freedom to explore interesting restaurants and cuisines! I’ve always said this is exactly why I like cruising (not having to come up with a place to eat every day/night), and this trip to Puerto Rico taught me that it’s completely true. I truly missed the simplicity of dining.

2) I am one of those weirdos who hasn’t done much travel by plane in my life. I’ve done a lot of road trips and cruises, so this trip to Puerto Rico was only the third time I’ve been on a plane. (I know, I know.) I have a lot of friends who have a ton of anxiety when it comes to plane travel – I’m talking “need a Xanax or a few glasses of wine before the flight” type of anxiety – so I was interested in how I’d deal with it. Turns out, no anxiety problems here! Maybe it’s the meds I’m on, but I found the whole experience rather fun and exciting. From lifting off to being in the clouds to touching down, it was all incredible to me. I even really enjoyed being in the airport. The people watching is sublime and I enjoyed just kicking back with my Kindle as I waited for my flight. It made me want to do a whole lot more plane travel – and soon!

3) When I’m in my normal life, I don’t really drink alcohol all that much. Maybe I’ll get a drink if it’s happy hour and there’s a special, but usually not. But when I’m on vacation, all bets are off. I’m getting a drink with every meal, who cares if that pina colada is $15? GIMME. It’s as if I completely switch to this different person – Vacation Steph. Vacation Steph must have a drink with her meals because otherwise, she’s not vacationing in the right way. It’s funny, the identities we give ourselves. At home, it’s rare for me to have a drink. On vacation, it’s rare for me not to have a drink. Maybe I think I’m not having the right amount of fun if I don’t drink while on vacation? I don’t feel that way at home; even if all of my friends are drinking, I don’t feel the need to do so, too. Or is it the money aspect? On vacation, I can spend money because I “earned this vacation dammit.” In my real life, I’m much more frugal, and spending $9 on a cocktail feels sickening. It’s an interesting dichotomy… I know I could give up alcohol completely and not feel as if anything was missing from my life. But would I feel like something was missing from my vacation? That… I do not know.

4) I have discovered that I am a lazy traveler. I wish I was not. I wish I was someone who enjoyed scouring travel recommendation sites and finding interesting places to visit, but making so many decisions is overwhelming. Hence why I love cruising. With cruising, I don’t have to try to find the best deal on a hotel or Airbnb while praying those handful of bad reviews aren’t the more accurate picture. With cruising, I don’t have to decide where to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day. With cruising, I don’t have to plan what to do every day and look through lists upon lists of “top X things to do in Y place.” Cruising is just so damn easy. There’s very little decision-making. The biggest decision I have to make is whether to do an excursion or walk around while we’re in a port. To go to the dining room for a sit-down breakfast or the lido deck for a continental breakfast. To play bingo at 3pm or take a nap. To spend some time in the sun or stroll around the decks. Cruise life is perfect for the lazy traveler and that’s who I am.

5) I’ve long felt a bit of shame at the fact that I am not as well-traveled as I think I should be. Most of my travel has involved taking a cruise to tropical islands. I’ve been to Jamaica and Mexico and St. Thomas and the Bahamas… but only for a few hours and never to truly explore these islands. This past vacation was my first time in an airport since 2012. And 2012 was my first time in an airport ever. (A while back, I read a Twitter thread that had a shaming tone about people who haven’t been on planes a lot in their life, and apparently, that sense of shame has stuck with me.) Truthfully, though? I enjoy tropical, touristy vacations. I enjoy taking cruises. I have a limited amount of money to spend on vacations and a limited amount of time to take them, so why should I spend it doing something that doesn’t make me overwhelmingly happy? Why should I worry that other people scoff at all the cruises I take and think I should opt for less touristy travel? Backpacking through Europe or road-tripping across the country doesn’t appeal to me. A European cruise, on the other hand, most definitely does. I’m not going to apologize that my preferred method of travel is by cruise ship, and I’m sure as hell going to stop feeling shame about my lack of experience with airlines.

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in May

Hello! It feels like it’s been forever since I checked in on my blog, but in reality, it’s only been 11 days. I was hoping to start recapping my trip to Puerto Rico, but my blog has decided to stop uploading photos for some reason (working with my host to resolve this issue and crossing my fingers it’s fixed soon). So, in lieu of a trip recap, I thought I’d write about what’s going on with me currently. Let’s dive in!

Loving… Crockpot meals. I firmly believe that no kitchen is complete without a Crockpot and I finally have one to use! Mainly, I’m using my Crockpot to make a big meal on Sundays that I portion out for lunches every day during the week. I’m really not a salad or sandwiches girl when it comes to lunch, so I like having a good meal to look forward to. It makes meal prepping so much easier, and nothing tastes better than chicken from a Crockpot. (Okay, okay, chicken from the grill definitely does, but that’s a purchase I won’t be making as long as I’m in an apartment, sigh.)

Loathing… the heat and humidity. And I need to get over it because it’s only May. But it’s already feeling oppressive. I guess this means I just need to make more time to spend at the pool. Because nothing feels as refreshing as a dip in the pool on a hot summer day.

Reading… With Love from the Inside by Angela Pisel. We chose this for my local book club, and boy, is it a heavy read. It follows a woman, Grace, who is on death row for allegedly murdering her infant son (she maintains her innocence). Grace has been given her execution date and she’s trying to reconnect with her daughter before it happens. (Her daughter was around 11 when her brother died.) Two of my friends who have read the book said they just sobbed through the last few pages, so I’m preparing myself for a tearjerker.

Watching… season seven of Gilmore Girls. I’m almost finished with the series! It has taken me forever because I am not a binge-watcher, so I tend to only watch 1-2 episodes a week, if that. I’m really excited to finally watch the revival episodes, so I’m going to power through this last season (which I’ve only heard bad things about…) so I can get on to the real reward.

Anticipating… um, nothing? I mean, that sounds kinda lame, but I don’t really have anything super fun on the immediate horizon. My next trip isn’t until November and I’m trying to save money right now, so it’s not even like I can go to Orlando for the day or anything like that. I am planning on doing a picnic in a local park with a friend on Wednesday evening, and I’m looking forward to that! Nothing like sunshine and girl time to put me in a good mood. 🙂

Thinking about… my 30th birthday party. After some thinking, I decided that I wanted to throw myself a party! I am actually very much looking forward to turning 30 and I want to celebrate all I have achieved in my first three decades of life! I have corralled a friend to help me plan it (and by “help me plan it,” I mean she will do the planning and I will say yea or nay, haha), we’re going to use my mom’s clubhouse, and it’ll be book-themed, of course. I’m just mostly excited to gather with a bunch of my favorite girls and celebrate this milestone birthday.

Needing… more money. Ha. I honestly think spending five days in Puerto Rico was more expensive than a five-day cruise. (Scratch that. I know it was.) It was a great time and I don’t regret anything, but my bank account looks a little sad these days. It would probably be helpful to pick up a side hustle, but finding good-paying freelance writing jobs is tough these days and it eats into the time I want to spend writing my novel. Decisions, decisions.

What are you currently loving, loathing, and reading?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in April

Loving… Instagram stories. Guys, I’m addicted. At first, I didn’t understand the point of Stories, but then I decided to use it to take videos of Dutch because who doesn’t want to see videos of him?? And now I use it all the time. I’m trying to only use it a few times a week, in a “document my day” sort of way because I think it gives people a different look inside my world, which is always fun. I also love watching everyone else’s Stories and seeing what they’re up to. It’s a less filtered look into everyone’s world.

Loathing… my social anxiety. I signed up to participate in a team-building event called Sportsfest and I’ve been dreading the event ever since. There’s only a handful of people from my work participating (maybe 20?), but I signed up because a good friend is the organizer and I wanted to show my support for her. It takes place the weekend before I leave for Puerto Rico so the timing isn’t great, and I’m nervous about getting to the event and parking and how crowded it will be. Thankfully, two of my very good friends will be there and both have offered to pick me up, which eases some of my worries. And also, I don’t want to turn down events just because I have social anxiety. I did that a lot in my late teens/early twenties and it led to a lot of loneliness. It may be awful, but that’s okay. I don’t want my social anxiety to be an excuse for not trying new things. And, truthfully, I will probably really enjoy myself! A few hours at the beach, spending time with my awesome coworkers? I think I’ll end up having a ton of fun.

Reading… The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead. I’m moving through the book slowly because it’s a book that you can’t simply speed-read. But it’s phenomenal so far and the writing is exquisite. I actually suggested this book for my work book club and a coworker rolled her eyes at me and made a comment about how she didn’t want to read any more books about slavery “because it’s over. Let’s move on.” Of course, I made sure to let her know that, as a white woman, she has the privilege to say that, but this is an area of history that we do not need to move on from. We need these stories, both fictional and real, to never forget what happened and how we treated black people in our country. It’s despicable and horrific, and The Underground Railroad is such an incredible exploration of this time period and how black people were looked upon as no better than animals. It’s a hard read, yes, but it’s an important one. (And one my coworker should really, really read to better understand why “moving on” is not the answer.)

Watching… The Amazing Race. This season is unique because instead of the teams being couples or families, they are total strangers. Can you imagine trying to race around the world and do high-stress challenges with someone you’ve never even met?? Some of the teams work together perfectly and others are really struggling, but that’s what makes it so fun. I already have a favorite team and I hope they can make it to the end!

Anticipating… my trip to Puerto Rico! My mom and I have started making plans for some of the things we want to do (we definitely want to do a walking tour of Old San Juan and explore the El Yunque Rainforest), but we also plan on spending a lot of time by the pool and at the beach, sipping fruity drinks and reading. And since we’re not foodies in the least, I haven’t planned out any restaurants to visit, so if you have any recommendations, let me know! I’m all ears. Every time I try to do research about where to eat in San Juan, I get overwhelmed and close my browser, ha.

Thinking about… how to be more budget conscious. I’ve always struggled with sticking to a budget for some reason, but I’m really trying to get better at it. It’s not that I’m not paying my bills… it’s more that I tend to spend more than I save. But I started implementing a cash budget system for discretionary spending – trips to Target, meals out, coffee, etc. – which has been working out great. Once my cash is depleted, that’s it! If it means turning down plans, so be it. I must get better at how I spend my money. (But, nope, not going to feel ashamed that this is harder for me than it seems to be for others. It’s just the way it is. I know I have more on my plate, bills-wise, than other people as I live alone and am paying on my school loans, and while I make a good-enough salary, it’s definitely on the lower end of what’s comfortable. I know there can be so much shame tied to how we spend our money, but can we just stop that? You can only do the best you can do, and strive every day to get better. You don’t have to save half your income, you don’t have to be completely debt-free, you don’t have to give up coffee or trips to Target. You just have to do the best you can!)

Needing… to get back to eating healthy! I’ve been eating junk for the past two weeks and not really exercising. It started with being displaced for three-and-a-half days for fumigation and then I got sick and then I had a really busy week… and when stuff like that happens, healthy eating always falls to the wayside. I’d really like to lose weight this year, but I’m not really putting in the effort to make it happen.

What are you currently loathing, reading, and anticipating?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in March

Loving… belonging to the gym again. It’s what my workout routine has been missing. I’m now doing much longer and tougher workouts and lovvvvve going to spin class again. Every time a class starts, I get this silly smile on my face, hehe. I’m trying to make it to the gym four days a week, though I hope to increase that to five or six in the coming months.

Loathing… how expensive having a dog is. I love Dutch and I would do anything for him (and I do). But these past few months have been so damn pricey with multiple vet visits, lab tests, an ultrasound, specialty food, medicine, etc. Obviously, I will swallow any sort of cost as long as he’s getting the medical attention he needs, and this is honestly just life with a geriatric dog. Thankfully, he hasn’t needed any expensive surgeries or further testing. It’s just a bit of a hit to the wallet, that’s all. I think we might be on the tail end of his medical issues (God willing), so I’m hoping for a much less expensive quarter two.

Reading… This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel, and I’m already sad for the day I won’t be reading this book. It is so good. The writing is incredible and the story so important. My local book club picked this for April, but I decided not to read the March pick (the subject matter seemed too heavy for me right now), so I guess I’ll be a little ahead. 🙂

Watching… This Is Us, but I’m only on episode 13, so no spoilers, please! It’s the kind of show where I have to be in the right mood to watch it (like, when I’m ready for a big cry, haha), so I’m very, very slowly making my way through the first season.

Anticipating… seeing Beauty & the Beast this weekend with my mom. We’re going to a movie theater that has fold-out seats, so we’re going to bring blankets, gorge ourselves on popcorn, and cry our hearts out. I can’t wait!

Thinking about… switching my hours at work. I’m grateful that we have a few different work schedules and the flexibility to choose the one that works best for our lives. Right now, I work 7:30-5:00 Mondays-Thursdays (and Fridays I work a half-day) and I’m just finding it so difficult to get out the door by 7am so I can get to work on time. I am considering switching to 8:30-6:00, which would allow me more time in the morning (and then I could take advantage of some of the early-morning workout classes at my gym). Getting home at 6:30 (or later, depending on traffic) would kinda suck, though.

Needing… to reprioritize my book life. Currently, I belong to three different book clubs and I’m also reviewing books for TLC Book Tours about once a month. So, I tend to have a bunch of books that I “must read,” which gets in the way of the books I want to read. I love being a part of so many book clubs, but something has to give. I feel like I keep reading books for other people, less reading books that I picked up myself, if that makes sense.

What are you currently reading, thinking about, and needing?