Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 56)

1) I was supremely disappointed in the midterm election results. I was honestly shocked that Ron DeSantis won governor of Florida. He’s a Trump acolyte who ran a racist campaign, and it makes me really scared for what’s going to happen in 2020. Thankfully, we saw a lot of progressive candidates win in other places and the Democrats took back the House, so hopefully that bodes well. Florida just cannot get its act together, it seems. I really, really wanted Andrew Gillum to win. He deserved it. The good news is that we restored the voting rights to around 1.5 million people (giving back voting rights to ex-felons) and I am hopeful this means a blue wave will come to Florida in 2020.*

2) I’ve added a whole lot of new podcasts to my feed (because of course I need more podcasts to listen to). Some recent additions: Believed, which explores the Larry Nassar case and how he got away with his crimes for so many years; The Dream, which is all about MLMs; He Read She Read, in which two married bookworms talk all about what they’re reading; and Standoff, which is exploring the Ruby Ridge tragedy that happened in 1992 and how it’s become a foundation for the modern right. Also, a friend just alerted me to a new podcast called Imagined Life that sounds incredible. The premise: “Each episode of Imagined Life takes you on an immersive journey into the life of a world-famous person. It’ll be someone you may think you know, even admire – or maybe the opposite. You’ll get clues to your identity along the way. But only in the final moments will you find out who “you” really are.” HERE. FOR. THAT. I haven’t listened to any of the episodes yet (there are two out so far), but I am so intrigued and cannot wait to listen.

3) Going back to work after losing Pops was difficult. I took off Monday-Thursday of last week and went back into work on Friday. Since it was only a half-day, I figured it would be a good way to ease myself into things. And, man, Friday was harder than I expected. I barely did anything, just responded to some emails and did a task that didn’t require any thinking. I wanted to leave immediately. It was one of those moments where I realized the world kept spinning, even though mine had shattered. This week has been tough, but gradually got easier and better as the week went on. Routine is always good, but I’m also reminded of Pops with everything I do with work. If I’m working with a client in the home improvement space, I think about him and how he owned a construction business for most his life. If I’m working with a client in the healthcare arena, I think about those last few weeks with him in the hospital. Ugh. It will get easier once the loss isn’t so raw, and I’m trying to give myself grace to get through each day, one moment at a time.

4) Pops’ passing is making me think about wills and life insurance and last wishes in an entirely new way. It’s morbid, but my mom and I have been having a lot of conversations about it and I’m wondering if I should make some sort of “In the Event of My Death” file on my computer that has passwords to my accounts, billing information, and stuff like that. Thinking about death makes me so anxious, but I really don’t want the burden to be on my family to get everything in order. Maybe that’s a goal for 2019.

5) November is the first month since July that I picked a Book of the Month book. I’ve been a little disappointed in their selections lately, which is all on me. This is nothing against Book of the Month because they can’t cater to everyone’s tastes every single month. Some people like getting books from authors they wouldn’t otherwise know of, but I tend to prefer getting a new release from a tried-and-true author. Maybe that’s because I don’t necessarily want to spend my $15 credit on a book that I may hate. But I was stoked that Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty was a pick this month, and I snagged it immediately. I debated canceling my membership, but I think I’ll keep it and just continue being super selective about what I pick. That’s the beauty of BoTM – you don’t have to pick a book every month. Skipping a month (or three in a row, ha) is totally acceptable.

What’s a new podcast that you can’t get enough of? Have you made any sort of arrangements in the event of your death?

*I wrote that before all this recount craziness started. I’m crossing my fingers and toes for Gillum and Nelson! Please, please, please.

Categories: Recurring Series

A Wednesday Morning Coffee Date

It’s been a while since I’ve caught you guys up on my life, so how about a coffee date? I’m definitely going to need the coffee today, since I was up late watching the election coverage (and, ugh, it felt like 2016 all over again thanks to some disappointing results from my state). I’ll be drinking a peppermint mocha, of course, since it’s peppermint mocha season finally! (My very favorite season.)

If we were having coffee today, I’d talk about how I’ve put my search for new kittens on hold. While I was hoping to be a new cat mom right now, everything flew out the window when Pops was admitted to the hospital. And then when the unthinkable happened… well, I’m not in the right frame of mind to welcome new kittens into my life. I may end up waiting until the new year to make it happen because the holiday season is always a little crazy. Right now, I’m just trying to stay off the animal shelter’s website (made the mistake of looking and falling completely in love with two one-month-old kittens, yikes) and get all my ducks in a row so that I can be in the right place to be a new cat mom in 2019.

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I learned where the source of my lower back pain is coming from. I had two appointments with a chiropractor in October and he noticed that I was out of alignment, so he cracked me back into place (it didn’t hurt as much as I’d expected; it actually felt kinda good!). But I was still having pain, even in late October when I wasn’t doing my daily 10,000 steps. That’s when I wondered if it was my sleeping position. I’ve long been a stomach sleeper and it’s my favorite way to sleep, but it’s also the worst possible sleeping position because it puts a lot of strain on your neck and lower back. So, I started training myself to sleep on my side or back using a body pillow, and it’s helping a lot. I still have some twinges in my lower back from time to time, and I haven’t tested out this theory while also walking 10,000 steps, but I think I may have found the culprit. I will also try specialised Croydon osteopathy for back pain management. This London osteopathic clinic offers personalised sciatica care.

If we were having coffee today, I’d talk about the books I’ve been reading. My reading hasn’t slowed down in the past few weeks, even though my life has been anything but. I’ve been reading a lot more nonfiction because it’s easier than a plot-heavy novel right now. I sped through You Can’t Touch My Hair by Phoebe Robinson, listened to Other People’s Houses by Abbi Waxman, and really enjoyed Bachelor Nation by Amy Kaufman. I tried to read This Will Be My Undoing by Morgan Jerkins, but something about it wasn’t sitting well with me so I abandoned it. Maybe I’ll come back to it another time. Right now, I’m reading the fourth book in the Chief Inspector Armand Gamache series as well as a romance novel.

If we were having coffee today, I’d talk about my new couch! After seven weeks of being couch-less, my beautiful new couch is finally being delivered today. It has been rough not having a couch because the only place to lay down in my apartment right now is my bed, and if I lay down for just a few minutes to read, it’s very, very hard to get back up, ha. I will surely be sharing pictures of it when it’s delivered, but I am really just so excited to have a couch and feel like my apartment is mostly put together again.

If we were having coffee today, I’d mention how I’m not tackling NaNoWriMo this year. For obvious reasons, I’ve decided that it’s not the right time to try my hand at completing NaNoWriMo (a challenge every November to write 50,000 words in 30 days). While I worked diligently for all of September and most of October to plot my novel so I’d be ready to start writing in November, I’m not in the right brain space to devote to the challenge. Maybe next year!

If we were having coffee today, I might tell you about some of my plans for November. This weekend, my mom and I are taking Chip to his first Running of the Wieners event. Hopefully, it’s not too emotional for me to be there without Dutch. Later this month, I’m off to Orlando for the weekend for a friend’s wedding. I’m taking a full week off of work during Thanksgiving, and I’m looking forward to it so much. And at the end of the month, I’m turning 31! I still have no idea what I want to do for my birthday. Maybe nothing. I don’t know.

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 8)

It’s time for the next installment of “Friday Questions,” where I work my way through the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast. There were some great questions in this round!

1) When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

Recently, when I started walking 10,000 steps daily. I’ve had to slow down on this goal because of the sacrum pain I’m experiencing whenever I attempt a 10k steps day, but I’m hoping some chiropractic adjustments to my lower spine will allow me to get back to my walking once again. I love it so much, and it is so good for my mental health.

2) If you could take a semester-long course in any subject, what would it be?

How to Write a Romance Novel? Haha, that would be super helpful as I go about finally finishing this damn romance I’ve been writing for years and years. I struggle a lot with plotting out a romance novel because there’s a specific way it needs to be done, and taking a course about writing romance would be great!

3) What is the biggest challenge or obstacle you’ve dealt with in the past year?

Losing Dutch. It’s been eight months now, and sometimes, I still think I’ll come home to him waiting for me at the door. Or laying on my bed when I come out of the shower. It’s been so hard to lose him because he was my best buddy for so many years, and he became even more important to me over these last few years as it was just me and him, living together. I relive the day we put him down often, and the emotions and grief and sadness feel unbearable sometimes. But I’ve been getting through it, moving forward, even taking steps to welcome some new pets into my life. And I have my mom’s dog, Chip, who has helped immensely with the healing process.

4) What’s one thing you can do today that you weren’t capable of a year ago?

I’m more confident in the decisions I make at work. I feel very capable in my role and I know what I’m doing, and I’m able to lead meetings and handle crises that come up with a skillfulness I didn’t have just a year ago. As someone who has never felt very confident in a work setting, I really love the assertiveness I’ve gained in my role.

5) What’s something you hope to be able to do a year from now that you’re not yet capable of or very good at?

I’d love to be able to open up to people more easily. I am very closed off to my feelings IRL, even though it seems I can word vomit like the best when it comes to my blog and online persona. But IRL, I find it very hard to open up and talk about the stuff that is bothering me. I mean, damn, even some of my best friends don’t know everything I’ve gone through with my dad, and that’s because it’s just hard for me to be vulnerable when I’m face-to-face with a person. It’s easier to wear my sarcasm shield and keep people at arm’s length.

What semester-long course would you take?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in September

Loving… that I finally sold my sectional! I listed my sectional for sale the first weekend in September and I heard crickets for weeks. I kept lowering my asking price, took some better photos, but still, nothing. Until last weekend, when all of a sudden, I received a flurry of messages inquiring about it! I finally sold it to a woman on Saturday, and she and a few friends came by to pick it up. And, just like that, no more sectional! I’m really glad it’s finally gone – my apartment feels so much bigger now! I’ve ordered a new couch, but it’s going to take six weeks to get here. Womp!

Loathing… the heat. Oy vey, September is always a fairly miserable month in Florida because the heat is always so intense. We’re regularly seeing heat indexes over 100 degrees with UV levels in the high to extreme range. And forget about the humidity. It’s not fun. Very thankful for air conditioning, both in my car and in my apartment. (I always seem to forget that AC isn’t a given in every part of the country. You’d never rent/buy in Florida without central AC!)

Watching… not much lately. Wednesday was the Big Brother season finale, and I was really, really happy with the person who won. But I’m not really sure to do with my time now that I’m not watching Big Brother three nights a week and scouring Reddit forums for theories. Maybe I’ll be able to finish season three of Mad Men before the end of the year, heh.

Listening to… the Presidential podcast. Has anyone listened to this? It’s a documentary-style podcast about our presidents – going chronologically, each episode explores a president, how he got into office, and the legacy he made. It starts with George Washington and ends with… well, you know who it ends with. It’s fascinating and I love that it’s not too dense and is easy to digest. However, it’s not a podcast I can put on in the background while I’m working. It requires active listening, so I typically listen to episodes while I’m on a walk. The podcast was originally published in 2016, so I’m a little late to the game, but wanted to throw it out there for anyone looking for an interesting podcast to listen to!

Anticipating… finally getting a kitten! I think I am ready to start making serious preparations to welcome a new kitty into my life. I’ve been emailing back and forth with a catpert (I trust you to figure out the portmanteau) to figure out exactly what I need and what I should expect. As someone who has never owned a cat, I am flying blind, so it’s nice to have a catpert to help me figure this all out! I am planning on placing a big order on Chewy.com today and maybe even visiting a shelter to scope it out this weekend. Maybe. (Also, my catpert has brought up the idea of welcoming two kitties into my life, instead of one. Please leave your argument for or against this decision in the comments.)

Grateful… for all the time I get to spend with my mom. Lately, I’ve been realizing how special our relationship is and how lucky I am to have her as my mom. I’ve always known that we have a one-of-a-kind relationship and that not many women get to have this type of closeness with their mothers, but it’s just been hitting me at different moments about how amazing our friendship is. She’s always been my favorite person to be with, and I feel like our bond is just growing stronger as the years pass. It’s a beautiful thing.

Needing… to upgrade my workout clothes. Most of my workout clothes I’ve had for years and years (I won’t even tell you how long I’ve had one of my sports bras…), and it’s just time to start replacing the clothes and buying stuff that makes me feel really good. I’m not talking about dropping a ton of money at Lululemon (I doubt they have my size anyway, sigh) (that sigh is towards Lululemon’s terrible sizing standards, not towards my own size), but just finding shorts and tanks that make me feel comfortable and confident when I wear them.

Tell me something you’re anticipating right now!

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 7)

Hey, hey! Happy Friday! I am having my first slow weekend in WEEKS and I couldn’t be happier about it. I need a weekend like this because, for the past few days, my anxiety has felt a little unmanageable. Sunday will be a busy day with a Starbucks writing date and celebrating my brother’s birthday, but Friday and Saturday should be low-key and plan-free. Yay!

Today’s post is a continuation of the Friday Questions series, in which I answer questions Nicole poses to her guests on her Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!

1) If you could master any one skill, what would you choose?

I would love to learn how to be a better conversationalist. I am always so in awe of people who can have long and interesting discussions with just about anyone they meet because I sometimes struggle with keeping a conversation going even with close friends! I know it’s the “introvert way” to say we cherish deep conversations and hate small talk, and while that’s true for me, I also would love to be great at small talk. It would just be nice to be able to have a normal conversation with someone, without losing my words or having long, awkward silences.

2) How do you spend the first hour of your day?

Usually, it entails going for a 30-minute walk around my apartment complex so I can get my steps in and then getting ready for my work day. I’ll take a shower, decide if I want to blow dry my hair or not, do my makeup, and then pack my lunch and prepare my coffee. (Okay, so this is more like the first hour-and-a-half of my day, ha.) I’m very slow in the morning as I’m getting ready, as I’d rather wake up a little earlier and take my time getting ready than sleep in and have to rush around.

3) When you look back on the past five years, what do you feel most proud of?

I’m proud of building a happy, fulfilling single life. I am ridiculously proud of that. I have an active social life and a group of friends whom I’ve traveled with and who have carried me through some really tough times. I have a strong relationship with my mom and brother, and my mom remains my best friend to this day. I am financially secure and able to live on my own. I have a job that I enjoy and plenty of hobbies to keep me busy. My life may not include a partner at this moment, and it may not have the children I thought I’d have at this age, but that’s okay. It may never include a partner or children, and that’s okay, too. I’ve built a happy life as a single person, and that’s something nobody can take away from me.

4) What is one of your biggest fears or insecurities?

Since fears and insecurities are two separate things, I have a different answer for both.

My biggest fear is losing a close family member, like my mom or my brother. If I’m woken up in the middle of the night, my first thought is always that I’m having a premonition that someone has died. Which then leads me to a panic attack, which is always fun. The best thing I know to do to handle this fear is to just take deep breaths and remind myself if something tragic were to happen, I would be okay and I will get through it.

My biggest insecurity is my weight. I really, really wish I was someone who had high self-esteem and a positive body image, but I don’t because I live in a fat-phobic society that tells me daily that my body is not ideal. I’m really working on cultivating a better self-image, and not by being on a crazy diet to lose a bunch of weight. I just want to be happy with myself as I am today and not wrinkle my nose at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, you know?

5) What do you want to be known and remembered for?

I want to be known and remembered as someone who people trusted with their biggest thoughts and feelings. I want people to feel that they can come to me to be a nonjudgmental listening ear and to give good advice when they need it. I just want to be there for people and to know I served them in the best way I knew how.

What’s a skill you’d love to master?