Stephany Writes

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (3.14.22)

Happy Monday, friends! Florida had a weird cold front blow through this weekend. After weeks and weeks of temps in the mid-80s, it got down to the upper 30s. !! Brr. The cold weather isn’t going to stay around (wah), but it shouldn’t as warm this week as it has been lately, so that’s something to be happy about.

Last week, I finished two books and liked both of them. That’s always nice! Here are my reviews:

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build New Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (★★★★☆)

In Atomic Habits, James Clear lays out a specific formula for how to become more successful at habit formation: You must make your goals obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. On the flip side, you must make habits that you want to break invisible, unattractive, difficult, and dissatisfying. If you’ve read about habits before, there’s really nothing new that Clear brings to the table so there isn’t anything earth-shattering in his approach or this book. But it is a good primer on habit formation and there were some specific nuggets of information to help me with my own habit practices. Specifically, the idea of starting as small as possible and trying to become just 1% better on a regular basis. However, I cannot stress enough how triggering this book can be for someone healing from diet culture trauma. I found myself falling into some problematic thought patterns as I was reading this book, as I considered my own weight and health and the habits I “should” form. (For example, one of the “good” daily habits that Clear lists is weighing yourself every morning. Um, what? That is a troubling daily habit! Unless you’re training for something and need to fit into a specific weight class, there is no reason to weigh yourself every day!) Even with his problematic language, I am still giving this book 4 stars because it was helpful in some respects and I appreciate the approachable style of the writing.

We often expect progress to be linear. At the very least, we hope it will come quickly. In reality, the results of our efforts are often delayed. It is not until months or years later that we realize the true value of the previous work we have done. This can result in a “valley of disappointment” where people feel discouraged after putting in weeks or months of hard work without experiencing any results. However, this work is not wasted. It is simply being stored. It is not until much later that the full value of previous efforts is revealed.

One of the most common questions I hear is, “How long does it take to build a new habit?” But what people really should be asking is, “How many does it take to form a new habit?” That is, how many repititions are required to make a habit automatic?

The central idea is to create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible. Much of the battle of building better habits comes down to finding ways to reduce the friction associated with our good habits and increase the friction associated with our bad ones.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (★★★★☆)

Man, I really liked this contemporary romance. I love that Olivia Dade’s characters are always a bit older (late thirties, in this novel, which isn’t “older” in the grand scheme of things, but is a little unusual for the romance genre) and some of whom are fat and aren’t trying to change themselves. So refreshing! In this novel, Marcus is a lead character on a Game of Thrones-esque show. When a fan of the show, April, tweets a photo of herself cosplaying as one of the other leads in the show, she is inundated with horrifying messages about her weight. And, of course, some truly terrible men include Marcus in the conversation, thinking he’ll be as disgusted by April’s body as they are. He’s not; instead, he asks April out on a date on Twitter. (Mostly to shut up these stupid men, but he’s also attracted to her as well.) Thus begins a really sweet love story between Marcus and April. There are a handful of other storylines mixed into this novel, such as April’s love of writing fanfiction and Marcus’s public persona as “just a pretty face” even though he’s incredibly intelligent. They both have a lot of internal growth and healing to do. I could have done without the included fanfiction stories and really dumb movie scripts (I skipped over all of them, which just goes to show that they weren’t necessary to the story). All in all, this was a fantastic contemporary romance! (Open door.)

What I’m Reading This Week

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (3.7.22)

Happy Monday, friends! I have today off work (woop, four-day weekend!) and I may try to do my March 5K today so I can get it done early in the month. Why not?!

I finished three books last week, all of which earned 4 or 5 stars from me, so it was a most excellent reading week for me. Here are my reviews:

The Nothing Man by Catherine Ryan Howard (★★★★★)

You guys, this thriller was just so good! I had high expectations going into the novel because so many of my trusted sources have been raving about it for months, and it fully met every expectation I had. This book within a book centers around Eve Black who was 12 years old when a serial killer murdered her family. Twenty-odd years later, she’s written a true-crime book about the event and the serial killer, who has never been caught. His nickname was the Nothing Man because law enforcement truly had nothing on him. No evidence, no patterns, nothing. She publishes the book, which is when Jim, who is the Nothing Man, starts to read it and realizes how close she has come to the truth. Which means, of course, he must stop her the only way he knows how. It’s a dark and grisly novel with graphic depictions of murder and rape, which is usually a no-go for me as a highly sensitive person. But it didn’t bother me too much. While it was gruesome and hard to stomach at times (I couldn’t read the book at night), I also appreciated the underlying theme of remembering the victims. We can all name a serial killer (or a dozen), but how many of us can name the victims of serial killers? All in all, this book was excellent and while I guessed the ending, it didn’t detract from my enjoyment.

I also really liked this passage about trauma and how our brains process it:

I was only twelve when this happened. Even while I was still in the bathroom, my brain was preparing me for my survival, opening the deepest vault in my memory bank so it could send the worst of what I was about to see straight in there. When the vault started to approach capacity, it just dumped some stuff straight out. This is how I’ve come to understand the effects of trauma on the mind of a child. That night is a jigsaw puzzle missing pieces and some parts of it have clearly been put together wrong.

(print, library)

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (★★★★★)

This book was so… dare I say it?… charming! It follows Charlie who has just become the new lead of a Bachelor-esque show called Ever After. Charlie has only agreed to be on the show so he can relaunch his career in tech, which came to a crashing halt six months ago. When the show begins, Charlie is shy and awkward and can barely make conversation with the women. Enter: Dev. Dev has been a producer on Ever After for six years and becomes Charlie’s handler for the show. Dev has to get Charlie to loosen up and enjoy the process. What Dev doesn’t expect is to fall in love with Charlie… and for Charlie to fall in love with him. I can’t even handle how cute this book was, how much I loved Charlie and Dev, and how fun the cast of characters are. There is incredible mental health representation in this book (Charlie has OCD and social anxiety, while Dev struggles with depression) as well as queer representation. I really loved the scenes of Charlie figuring out his sexuality (is he asexual? bi? gay? demisexual? graysexual?) because sexuality truly is a spectrum—even if you identify as straight. The conversations he had with Dev and other people in his life about his sexuality were so heartwarming and I truly want everyone who is questioning to have that level of support. It’s so very needed. This book truly scratched my Red, White, and Royal Blue itch and it will have a lasting place on my bookshelf. (#ownvoices, e-book, Libby)

Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling (★★★★☆)

Mindy Kaling’s second memoir has been sitting on my bookshelf for a long, long time and I finally read it to fulfill March’s Unread Shelf Project prompt, read a biography or memoir. I sped through this book in a day and a half (it’s only 230 pages with lots of pictures) and enjoyed it. It didn’t make me laugh as much as her first memoir did, but I loved reading about how she got her show and the day-to-day life of a showrunner. I also appreciated her thoughts on being a curvier woman in Hollywood and how she became a confident woman (a lot of hard work! Confidence is not something that just happens, especially for women of color in Hollywood, but working hard every day can breed a level of confidence that carries you throughout your life). While it wasn’t the most memorable memoir (I think I will have forget I read this in a few weeks’ time), it was an easy, quick, enjoyable read. (print, owned, Thriftbooks)

What I’m Reading This Week

  • The Madness of Crowds by Louise Penny (audio) – I am a little less than halfway through this mystery, which is the most recent release of Penny’s Chief Inspector Armand Gamache series. I can’t believe I’ll be all caught up when I finish this book! I’m enjoying it, although there is some talk about how the pandemic was over once everyone had access to vaccines. (Oh, how I wish!)
  • Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (e-book) – I’m about 50 pages into this contemporary romance and I am liking it a lot! It’s about a famous actor who starts dating a non-celebrity, and the fanfiction they write together. The catch? The famous actor is the star of the TV show they write fanfiction about, and revealing his identity could kill his career.
  • Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (print) – It’s obvious that I need a little bit of help in the habits department. I’ve heard really good things about this book and I’m hoping it will give me tangible steps to take as I try to build better habits into my daily life.
  • Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People by Nadia Bolz-Weber (print) – This slim novel (it’s under 200 pages) is broken into short vignettes, so I’m reading a couple a day. I’ve read two chapters so far and it’s… okay. I’m not sold on the book yet.

What are you reading this week?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (2.28.22)

Hi, friends. I hope you all are doing well and taking care of yourself right now. It’s been a hard weekend and the news out of Ukraine is horrifying and really scary. I am continuing to pray for peace, as neither the people of Ukraine nor the people of Russia have asked for any of this. <3 (My news sources right now are Jessica Yellin and emilyinyourphone on Instagram, as well as the Pod Save the World podcast, if you’re looking for good options to keep up-to-date on what’s going on without going crazy.)

It’s hard to make the transition to a silly post about books, but alas, I know it’s good to have distractions right now. I finished three books this week, all 4- or 5-star reads, so it was an excellent reading week for me! Let’s dive into the reviews:

The Bastard’s Betrayal by Katee Robert (★★★★☆)

Dark romances aren’t normally my jam, but I tend to make an exception for Katee Robert. Her mafia romances are some of my favorites! I used to exclusively read romantic suspense books before I moved on to more contemporary/historical romances, but I always love diving back into a world that’s just a bit more dangerous than you’d find in a typical romance. In this book, the first in a new series, we’re drawn into the world of Rose Romanov, who will one day be the head of the Romanov family. She’s been dating a “normal” guy named Jackson for a few months when she finds out he’s actually part of one of their rival mob families and has been sent to spy on her family. Chaos ensues from there. I really liked this book and I’m excited about this new series. I do have to say, though, that it is very, very open door and some of the sex scenes were a little too much for me, even. But all in all, a solid read where I really had no idea how things would resolve for the two main characters. (e-book, Amazon)

All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle (★★★★★)

What a sweet, heartwarming book! In All the Lonely People, Hubert Bird is an 82-year-old Black man who lives alone in London and doesn’t have much in the way of friends. His wife died 13 years ago and he keeps himself sane with his weekly phone calls from his daughter who lives in Australia. To appease his daughter (who is very worried he’ll become a lonely old man), he has made up a fanciful life where he spends all his time with three friends that he met at a group event. When his daughter announces that she’s coming to visit him after a handful of years away, he realizes he needs to make some new friends—and fast. This is a book about loneliness, about how to make friends no matter what age or stage of life you’re in, and about the magic that can happen when we open ourselves up to others. I was completely captivated by Hubert and his life (the book switches back and forth in time, taking us through Hubert’s life from the time he was a young man to how he fell in love with his wife to where he is now), and this is a book I could confidently press into the hands of any reader. (#ownvoices, print, library)

“Although things were noticeably better than they had been when Hubert first arrived in England, that didn’t mean racism had suddenly disappeared. It was still there every day in newspaper headlines, in the stereotypes appearing on TV, in the assumptions strangers made about people who looked like him. The only difference with this kind of racism was that it was marginally more likely to result in graffiti scrawl across a family’s front door than a physical attack or a beating. Instead it remained an ever-present background noise that, from time to time, if the situation allowed, could be tuned out for a moment’s respite.”

When We Left Cuba by Chanel Cleeton (★★★★☆)

This novel begins at the end of the 1950s—John F. Kennedy has just become president, Fidel Castro is prime minister of Cuba, and Beatriz Perez and her family are trying to build a life for each other in Miami after fleeing Cuba. But Beatriz quickly becomes drawn into the dangerous world of espionage, as she is recruited by the CIA to infiltrate Castro’s inner circle. While the beginning of this novel was slow, it really seemed to gain speed once everything was established and I had a hard time putting it down. On the surface, this book may seem like a spy novel but it’s really about so much more than that. It’s about family and sisterhood, about being a refugee and how everyone in a family is impacted differently (some by embracing the new country and culture, others by fighting to get back to their home country). It’s about resistance movements, courage, and love for country. It’s a gorgeous love letter to Cuba and Cubans who fought for the resistance. I really, really liked this novel! (#ownvoices, audiobook, Libby)

What I’m Reading This Week

  • The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochran (e-book) – I just started this queer romance and I am already sucked into this crazy, lovely world. The setting is a Bachelor-type reality TV show, and I am here for that.
  • The Nothing Man by Catherine Ryan Howard (print) – Everyone has been raving about Catherine Ryan Howard, so I suggested one of her books for book club. I’ve been told it’s actually pretty dark and gory, which I don’t normally go for, so we’ll see if I can stomach it. (At any rate, I will only be reading it in the daytime!)
  • The Madness of Crowds by Louise Penny (audiobook) – I was positive that I had more books left to read in the Chief Inspector Armand Gamache series before I got to the latest release, but nope! Once I read this book, I will be officially caught up. I can’t believe it! I’ll start this on Tuesday.

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (2.21.22)

Happy Monday, friends! I am jealous of anyone who is enjoying a long weekend today. 🙂

I have two wonderful book reviews for you today! While I finally had my first non-5-star read of the month this week, these books were still ones I enjoyed. They just won’t be making my favorites list at the end of the year! Let’s dive in.

Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian (★★★☆☆)

I’m generally not a fan of slow-burn romances, but I decided to give this one a try because I wanted to finish out Sebastian’s Seducing the Sedgwicks series. And it was fine. Not life-changing, not particularly memorable, but fine. It’s a queer historical novel following Will and Martin, who were best friends as children but grew apart when Will was sent away by Martin’s father. When the novel begins, Will is nursing Martin back to health after finding him convalescing in his brother’s attic. Martin has consumption (in today’s terms, tuberculosis) and he has spent his life knowing that he may never live a long, full life like other men his age. It could make a book feel morbid but I appreciated an entirely new perspective (especially in a romance novel!) and the sweet ways in which Will cared for him. Their love story was slow-moving, but they found a way to be together in a way that felt natural and right and beautiful. (e-book, Libby)

Side note: I did a lot of research about consumption/tuberculosis after reading this book. Some facts:

  • Tuberculosis is the 13th-leading cause of death worldwide.
  • It’s the second-leading cause of death of infectious diseases worldwide. (I’ll let you guess which infectious disease is the first.)
  • It’s possible to be infected with TB bacteria and not know it—a third of the world’s population has a TB infection—but it is only transmittable if you fall ill with it. (It’s transmitted from person to person through the air after someone with a TB illness coughs, spits, or sneezes, propelling TB germs through the air.)
  • There’s only a 5-10% chance of falling ill with TB after being infected. Those most at risk are people with compromised immune systems.
  • TB is curable and treatable—since 2000, 66 million lives have been saved with TB treatment.
  • People with HIV are up to 21 times more likely to develop an active TB disease than those without HIV.
  • Sanatoriums were notorious for helping people with TB illnesses in the early-to-mid 20th century, giving them a place to recover, be in fresh air, and even have their lungs collapsed or partially removed.
  • In 1949, a TB patient received the first-ever TB treatment, and the patient was cured. After much research and patient trials, three different antibacterial medications were developed that had a cure rate of up to 90%.
  • Treatment for TB is long; most patients will need to take antibacterial medication for 6-12 months.

Stats from World Health Organization, the American Lung Association, and National Jewish Health.

Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language by Amanda Montell (★★★☆☆)

This book was a fascinating exploration of linguistics and how culture shapes language in so many different ways. Montell covers a wide range of topics in this book, going far beyond what I expected of a book about linguistics. She discusses the gay voice, vocal fry, using the word “like” in conversation, personal pronouns, cat-calling, women who curse, how we talk about our genitalia, and so much more. What I learned most from this book is how patriarchal language is, how it has been standardized and continues to be standardized by men, and the ways in which women and non-binary people are working towards making language less patriarchal. All that said, I can’t say I loved this book. I thought the writing was a little weak and I wanted it to be a bit more scientifically based than it was. (Surveying your Facebook friends does not count.) I also felt like the book could have used a more diverse perspective (Montell is a straight white woman) because there was a lot about language and the way it is used against marginalized communities that were missing from this book. But all in all, I gave this book 3.5 stars and it’s one I’d happily hand off to other readers. (print, Amazon)

Think of people’s pronouns just like you think of their names. You can’t tell a person’s name just by looking at them: if you want to know it, you have to ask, and to argue with their answer would be weird and rude. Everyone has their own individual name, and it may be difficult to remember or pronounce, but it is common courtesy to try your best to learn it.

What I’m Reading This Week

  • When We Left Cuba by Chanel Cleeton (audio) – I am halfway through this audiobook that takes place in 1960s Miami, about a Cuban woman intent on avenging her brother’s death at the hands of Fidel Castro. It’s really engaging so far!
  • The Bastard’s Betrayal by Katee Robert (e-book) – Katee Robert’s romances are always a bit on the darker side, which I don’t normally enjoy but I just can’t get enough of her mob families and their romances! I’m a sucker for them. This romance is hot, hot, hot and I am here for this enemies-to-lovers trope.
  • All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle (print) – This book came highly recommended by Kaytee of the Currently Reading podcast. It has strong A Man Called Ove vibes, which is a novel I loved, and I’m really enjoying this novel so far.

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (2.14.22)

Happy Monday! I have today off work because I always take the day after the Super Bowl off. It’s my own special holiday! I am debating between using today to do my monthly 5K or get some things done around my apartment. I’m going to play it by ear and see how I feel!

Last week, I finished two books and both of them were five-star reads. There’s a really good chance they’ll make my favorites list at the end of the year, too. So far, February has been an all-star reading month for me! Here are the reviews of what I read:

Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (★★★★★)

I couldn’t have loved a book more if I tried. It was the kind of book I just wanted to hug when I finished it because it touched me in such a deep way. Jade is a high school student who goes to a private school on scholarship. She has to take the bus to school because she lives in a different area of town, and deal with being one of the few Black students (and one of the few poor students) in her school. When she gets an opportunity to join Woman to Woman, a mentorship program for Black teen girls, she is paired with a mentor, Maxine, who will change her life for the better. This is the kind of book that places a sharp focus on Black excellence and Black joy without shying away from topics like racism, police brutality, the “angry Black woman” trope. It’s so well-written and beautiful, and I highly recommend it! (#ownvoices, print, Amazon)

Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian (★★★★★)

This YA novel was deeply impactful. It follows three friends as they navigate relationships, family, racism, and homophobia with the backdrop of the AIDS crisis of the 1980s. Reza is new to NYC, having moved with his mother from Toronto to the home of his new stepdad. He’s navigating a new school, a new family, and his sexual identity as a gay teen while also seeing so many articles about AIDS and how being gay can be a death sentence for some. He meets Art, another gay teenager, and his best friend Judy on his first day of school and they quickly form a close bond. And then Reza starts dating Judy in an effort to remain closeted and stifle his growing feelings for Art, and things grow increasingly complicated for the trio. This book was a masterpiece that puts a new face to the AIDS epidemic: how it affected young, closeted gay teenagers who were seeing so many gay men die from a disease and how the public interacted with people with AIDS. It’s beautiful in its exploration of queerness, the way family can support you and disappoint you, which is something I am intimately familiar with, and I was just rooting for all three of these crazy kids from beginning to end. A must-read, in my opinion. (#ownvoices, audiobook, Libby)

What I’m Reading This Week

What are you reading?