When I posted my 2022 Goals update post last week, I received a few comments from lovely readers who wanted to know more about my decision to continue renting rather than buying a home in the (very distant) future. While I have talked about my decision to rent in other posts (like this one, from 2020), I liked the idea of talking through some of the reasons why I don’t want to be a homeowner:
1) Saving up for a down payment on a house feels impossible.
Let’s talk about the biggest roadblock to buying a home: saving for the down payment. It was my goal this year to save $4,000 to start my down payment fund, amounting to $333 a month. It was nearly impossible to hit that goal even once this year. It was an aggressive goal, but I’m estimating that I’d need to save at least $10,000 for a down payment (which is probably well below what I should be saving). Saving for a down payment when it’s just me and I can’t rely on another person’s income feels insurmountable. There are programs to help, of course, but it would depend on my income. I think I would be disqualified for many of them because my income is too high. (Which is laughable, but whatever.) Could I just start throwing a hundred dollars into a down payment fund every month and see where I am in a few years? I suppose so, but there are other reasons I don’t want to own a home.
2) The idea of every home repair being my responsibility fills me with anxiety.
You know what I love? Every time I need something repaired in my apartment, I call maintenance and it’s fixed within a few days. Water not draining from my tub as fast as it used to? Maintenance. The heating unit in my oven broke? Maintenance. The black furnace filter clogged up and caused the furnace to break down? Maintenance. Furnace maintenance. My washer suddenly stopped working? Maintenance. My mom just had to replace her air conditioner. NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS later, she has a new air conditioner. My friend has some troublesome trees in her yard that need to be removed (lest they fall on her house). She was quoted TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS for the removal. These are extreme examples, but they are relevant. Being a homeowner can be very stressful and very expensive.
I am not a handy person by nature. House repairs are something that has to be added to the budget when you buy a home because things are going to break and you are responsible for fixing them. And being a single person, I don’t have a handy partner to share the burden with. It’s all on me, and that fills me with anxiety.
I’ve also been very lucky to have a reliable maintenance team anywhere I’ve lived (it helps that I usually rent from a leasing agency, not from a private owner). You know who’s not always reliable? Repairmen.
3) A house comes with so many more responsibilities.
I’m always shocked by the number of responsibilities that are involved in owning a home. If I owned a home, I’d need to pay for a lawn care service since I have no desire to take care of that on my own. I’d need to pay for pest control—something that’s already built into my rental price. I’d need homeowner’s insurance and flood insurance and property taxes, and probably other bills I’m forgetting about. None of these things are cheap. All of them cost money.
Plus, I know I would want to upgrade my home in the future. Ideally, I’d buy a home that wouldn’t require a ton of work upfront, but over the years, I’d want to upgrade it like any normal homeowner. A new kitchen or bathroom, new windows or flooring. All of that costs money.
It would be easier if I had a partner, but it’s just me. And all of that responsibility being on my shoulders feels overwhelming.
(A disclaimer here: Yes, I could buy a condo or townhome and things like lawn care service and pest control wouldn’t be necessary. But that would also come with an HOA fee, so there’s that to worry about.)
4) I have never desired homeownership.
I was listening to a podcast episode yesterday and the host asked the guest this question, “What are the things that, even if they are a smart decision, aren’t the right choice for you?” Bing, bang, boom. Yes. Buying property is a smart decision in many ways. Mortgage payments go toward building credit in a way that rent payments do not. Homeownership is one of the only ways to build generational wealth. But even if it is a smart decision for many people, it is not the right one for me. I have never desired homeownership. I do not want the responsibility of it. Perhaps if I had children, a partner, or heck, even big dogs, it would make sense. But in my little life, where it’s just me and my two cats, this is what feels good for me. And that’s really all that matters, at the end of the day.
If you’re a homeowner, what do you love about owning a home? If you’re a renter, what do you love about not owning a home?!
Elisabeth
This is SUCH ironic timing on your post. Today marks exactly 5 years since we moved into our home.
FIVE YEARS? It feels like yesterday and also like a million years ago.
So many times over these last 5 years I have wished I was still renting. Granted we’ve had a LOT of issues at our house (we also got a great deal on it because we knew it needed some work, but turned out there were a lot of unexpected things to go wrong – which is all part of home ownership). Since this is our first house I was surprised by how expensive, exhausting, and scary it all could be. We moved in and a week later had major issues to fix and are only wrapping up the first round of renovations now – 5 years later. There is ALWAYS something that needs to be fixed/updated and there is no maintenance repair person to call. There are also just so many decisions to make.
All that said, it was absolutely the right move for our family. We left a tiny apartment and I can’t imagine having to go through a global pandemic in that little space. It’s also been a great investment because we got a good deal and have picked away at repairs/upgrades and our house is worth so much more already. But still…in terms of the impact on my mental health. Yikes. It has been a lot more challenging than I ever imagined.
I think if renting works, it is a great way to live!
Stephany
I think I would definitely feel differently about renting if I had a family! I may even feel differently if I had a partner, but it just being me, renting is what is working for me. I can’t imagine going through all of the renovations you’ve gone through on my own. It would be so stressful! I love that I can just call my maintenance team when I need something fixed.
Lisa of Lisa's Yarns
I think it is wise to think about whether you really want to be a homeowner. There is a lot that comes along with home ownership that gets kind of disregarded at times. And there can be so much pressure to own a home. That’s what drove me to buy my first condo back in 2005. I was working in the mortgage industry and my rent was increasing by a ridiculous amount so I bought a condo which ended up being a horrible decision because the value of the condo tanked during the great financial crisis and I was so stuck in that condo. I did eventually rent it out and rented a condo downtown. I finally sold it in 2018 right before Paul was born. It was still worth less than what I paid for it by about $15k but I had paid down the mortgage enough that I got some money back at closing. Phil’s purchase of our last home ended up working out super well. He sold it for almost $100k more than he paid for it, and we got into our current home before prices really went crazy during the pandemic. For us, owning makes sense because we have a family. But we were able to be very very particular about the home we purchased which is why it took about 2 years to buy a home! But this home has had a lot of pesky repairs that Phil has griped about quite a bit. The summer after we bought our home, he said “I hate this house” which made me so sad because it took so long to buy it and I really love the house and the neighborhood. He has come around a bit as the repairs/projects have leveled off but it seems like there is always something! But we are very fortunate to have paid off our mortgage (thanks to how much we save/our frugality/living below our means) so we only have to pay taxes and insurance. So for us, we like that our monthly living expenses are very low but we are in a unique situation to be in our early 40s and have our house paid off and are only able to do that because we work in a well-compensated, albeit extremely volatile, industry.
Stephany
I do think I would be more apt to want to buy a home if I had a partner and/or kids. If I *were* to buy as a single person, I’d buy a condo or townhome since the upkeep would be a little more reasonable (like, no yard to take care of). But when it’s just me and I can rent an apartment for about the same price as I’d pay in mortgage AND it will be more updated… it just makes sense to continue renting.
Kim
Love reading this and your logical brain about what works for you! We are homeowners and I only love it because my husband does ALL THE HOUSE AND YARD WORK. I don’t care for it AT ALL. I would pay for it all if I could. So I love making decisions and doing what I want on my property, but I hate taking care of it all. It’s never ending here (because we have a big yard, mostly, and nature is trying to move in).
And how frustrating certain programs don’t apply because you make so much so much, but not enough to really save. Ugh.
Stephany
Yesss – you’ve got the right idea. 😉 It would be so fun to have a house and to be able to make decisions about my living space, but it just doesn’t appeal to me as a single person.
Anya
Great post! Ii owned my first home from 2008-2018 and my second from 2019 to present. I don’t particularly enjoy home ownership itself but I do it because it’s the financially sound thing to do. You’re basically freezing your rent for a maximum of 30 years, earning equity, and paying yourself a bit each month. Yes, you’ll likely spend quite a bit on repairs, which is why you should have an emergency fund. And sometimes you have to make some improvements, which will increase your home’s value. This part I don’t enjoy. But what I do enjoy is the financial benefits. For instance, the mortgage on my single family home in the Denver area is under $1300/month. Add maybe $200/month for insurance and taxes, and I’m still saving a ton!! You can’t even find a single family home to rent for under $2k, especially if you’re looking for something that’s in a walkable area and not a dump. A two bedroom apartment would probably run you $1.8k.
Stephany
Oh wow! $1,300 a month is very cheap for a mortgage, at least around here. I would be paying about the same as I would for rent, except add in property taxes, insurance, and then repairs/updates. For me, it doesn’t make financial sense, especially as a single woman. And there are a lot of financial benefits to renting, too, especially considering I don’t need to worry about using my emergency fund for house repairs, but it can be that buffer I need for a sudden illness/hospital visit, if I lose my job, need to evacuate, etc.
NGS
It’s such a mixed bag. I like having more space in our house than we did in our apartment, but I totally feel you on the maintenance issue. I would LOVE to be able to just call someone and get things fixed (that I don’t have to pay for). Also, I’m not sure if I would have purchased a home as a single person. Maybe a condo, but that doesn’t seem as *fun* as a single-family home. I don’t know. I appreciate you writing this post, though. It’s very honest and I hope it helps other people who might stumble upon it when they’re feeling pressured to buy a house.
Stephany
If I did end up buying as a single person, it would likely be a condo or townhome so I wouldn’t have to deal with yard work and the like! But if I could depend on a second income, things would be a lot different in the homeownership department. But apartment living suits me right now!
Nicole MacPherson
This 100% reminded me of when we bought this house in August 2000. It was what might be termed a fixer-upper, although the fixes were cosmetic – the house itself was solid. Anyway, we moved from a sweet tiny downtown apartment, where I walked to work, to our house, where I took the train to work. The house was a lot of work before we moved in, and then just before we were to move in, a guy came to install a water meter in our house. There was something we had to do – the details are fuzzy – and I just broke down crying. It was too much! There was just so much to do and it was overwhelming. I cried every single day for three weeks because I missed my little apartment so much, and the house – and everything that came with it – was just so much. Fast forward 22 years and I love my house and am so glad we live here, but still. If I was a single lady, I would have never bought this house, not ever. I would have stayed in my sweet little apartment and I would have been very happy! What I’m saying is I understand completely your point of view. Houses can be absolute money pits; when something went wrong at the apartment, I called the super and he fixed it. As I said, this is a solid house and I’m happy BUT if my furnace or water heater dies I have to replace it, when the garage door broke I had to get it fixed, etc., etc. If I was in your situation I’d either stay at the condo at which you seem happy, or I would buy a little condo – but then, of course, there are condo fees to keep up with the property. I totally get it!
Stephany
Yes, all of this! I think I would definitely strive for homeownership if I had a partner or I had kids. But the idea of having to do all of the repairs and couldn’t share the burden of homeownership with anyone else is just not something that interests me.
San
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective, Stephany. I think people just assume that everybody wants to own a home, but there are so many (good) reasons not to. If you recall, Jon and I bought a house in 2015 – it wasn’t a thought-out decision, more like the opportunity fell into our lap and we took it, but we didn’t know anything about homeownership and while I probably would have stayed in the house, Jon just didn’t enjoy homeownership and after only three years, we decided to sell and rent again (for many different reasons). I think it’s okay to not want to own a home and we should talk much more about everything that comes with homeownership, because it’s not just “not paying rent”.
Stephany
Yes, yes, yes! I really do think that if I bought my own home, I would end up regretting the purchase, especially once things started going wrong. Because that’s the price you pay for homeownership! For me, it just makes more sense to continue renting, even if it isn’t “technically” the smartest financial decision.
Anne
I could have written this post. Seriously. The funny thing is, I’ve owned two places, one on my own (new-build condo) and one with my now-ex (80 year old house in a small town). And now, with just one income, and the convenience of maintenance (Larry. I love Larry – who is happily married, in his 60s, at least, and a definite native Wisconsinite – with all my heart.), not to mention the location (two grocery stores + Walgreens all within walking distance, plus a Target across the street), well, I’m not moving anytime soon. I do have some savings but I’m so paranoid about not spending money right now that, well, it’s not going to happen. So I will also continue renting, quite happily. I know I’m not building that equity, but I don’t even have the cats! 🙂 So thank you. Thank you for putting this out there, and for just coming out and saying that homeowning isn’t always the right choice for everyone. <3
Stephany
Yesss – homeowning isn’t always the right choice for everyone! I am so happy to continue to be a renter, even though I know it would likely make more financial sense to move toward homeownership. But I just don’t want the responsibility of that!