I had insomnia for all of sixth grade. Maybe I’ve talked about it before. The spring before sixth grade, my parents split up, and my mom, my brother, and I lived with my grandparents for a number of months before my mom found a two-bedroom condo to rent near a middle school. It wasn’t the middle school all my friends from elementary school were going to. I was effectively the new kid. While everyone else in my classes was greeting each other excitedly, happy to see their friends after the summer break, I was feeling lonely and sad and anxious.
Middle school is a tough time in anyone’s life, but it was especially so for me. I was not only in a new school environment, going from being in one classroom all day to six different ones, but I was also in a new family environment: it was just me, my mom, and my brother. No more dad to pick me up from the bus stop, no more grandparents to wake me up in the mornings.
Insomnia hit me hard that year. (Along with never-identified depression, being that I was all of eleven and mental health wasn’t talked about at all, much less with children.) My mom was dealing with her own depression and she didn’t quite know how to help me with my issues. Essentially, we were both a bit of a mess and it led to a really tough year for both of us.
Things shifted for me once sixth grade was over. My insomnia disappeared and not being confined to a school schedule meant my depression did as well. Ever since then, I’ve been a champion sleeper. Like, I may be too good at sleeping? I recently listened to a podcast episode where the host (jokingly) railed at people who can fall asleep almost as soon as their head hits the pillow. What’s their secret?
I don’t have a secret. Honestly. I live with anxiety so it would make sense that I would have trouble sleeping, but I honestly don’t. Maybe it’s because my mind is so busy during the day that it’s able to quiet when the lights are off and I’m snuggled under my blankets.
That said, sleep does not always come easy. For me, it’s usually because my anxiety has been heightened due to any number of factors: worrying about work or family members or relationships or a writing project or even… where I should put my new desk in my room. (This is what kept me up on Sunday night, no lie.) On these sleepless nights, turning my brain off feels impossible. I toss and turn while groaning to myself, “Why aren’t you asleep?!”
So what’s a perfect sleeper to do for sleepless nights? Implement a few strategies, that’s what.
ASMR on YouTube
This is actually something I do most nights, not just on the nights I’m tossing and turning. And I make it a bigger priority when I feel particularly restless or know my brain hasn’t quieted down enough for sleep. ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response and it describes the sensation of tingling or deep relaxation that occurs when listening to certain sounds. Not everyone has this response to these sounds—some people are visibly disturbed by them—but the sounds of crinkling paper, whispering, tapping, and scratching soothe and relax me. It really helps me turn off my brain and get ready for sleep.
When I watch ASMR videos, I get really cozy in bed: pillows just right, comforter tucked in tight. I’ll place my phone on my chest and close my eyes, and let the sounds give me all of the tingles and relaxation I need. It soothes me right to sleep! (Also, Lila seems to really enjoy certain ASMR sounds, too, as she’ll jump on my chest and stare at my phone to figure out how it’s making a certain noise. Heh.)
Some of my favorite ASMR YouTubers to follow: ASMR Darling, Gibi ASMR, and Rebecca’s Beautiful ASMR Addiction.
Melatonin
I’m not someone who tosses and turns in her sleep, so on the nights I find myself doing that, I’ll take a dose of melatonin. Melatonin isn’t fast-acting (it’s advised to take it an hour before you want to go to sleep) so I’ll take a dose and watch ASMR on YouTube until I start to feel sleepy. Melatonin is a true lifesaver for me on nights when falling asleep feels downright impossible. And now it’s the first thing I recommend to people when they tell me they’re having trouble sleeping. Melatonin is a hormone your body makes naturally, so taking a supplement is not like taking a prescription sleep aid. It’s not habit-forming or addictive!
Warm Bubble Baths
Sometimes after taking my melatonin dose, I’ll draw myself a warm bubble bath. There is truly nothing that soothes me more! I’ll bring a book to read or even just turn on a white noise playlist, close my eyes, and submerge myself up to my neck in the bubbles. It really puts me in a relaxed state of mind.
Reading + A Change of Scenery
Well, of course I do this. Is anyone surprised? It’s not usually my first response when I’m not able to fall asleep because it can sometimes keep me awake, especially if I’m reading something particularly engaging! But if I’ve tried ASMR and melatonin and a bubble bath and I’m still awake, I’ll just throw in the towel. My body is obviously not ready for sleep! That’s when I get out of bed, pick up my book, and sit on my couch to read. The change of scenery sometimes helps: my bed has suddenly become an unsafe place for me and reminds me of how much sleep I’m not getting. There’s something about changing locations that can help to lull me into a more relaxed state. (And if I fall asleep on the couch, even better!)
I’m writing this post at 8:30 on Tuesday night and now I’m nervous that I’ve jinxed myself for sleeping tonight, ha. So, with that, I think I’m going to take a dose of melatonin, watch some ASMR, and say a prayer that I fall asleep easily tonight.
What are your strategies for falling asleep?
*post inspired by Suzanne