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Stephany Writes

Categories: About Me

Confessions… {Part 1}

I know. I said I was going to stop with the meme’s and weekly features. But I thought of this idea last week and thought it was fun so I’m trying it out. There are just some things you don’t know about me…

I’ve never eaten frozen yogurt in my life.

And I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to. When I think of desserts I want (especially cold ones), ice cream fills every spot in my mind. To me, yogurt is not dessert. It’s a necessary evil. And really, the only place I’ve been that serves frozen yogurt around here is Dairy Queen. So then it’s a choice: a delicious Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Blizzard or a cup of froyo? OK. It’s never been a choice because froyo has never crossed my mind. But I’m determined to try it someday!

I’m a Florida girl at heart, yet I hate the beach.

I have never liked the beach. I mean, it takes so much to prepare to go. And then you need quarters. And then you have to find the perfect spot, away from the people who come just to drink and away from the ones who bring their eight children and friends. And then you have to set everything up and it’s always windy so it takes forever. And then you venture out into the surf, but it’s either too cold or you get a mouthful of salt water within 3 minutes. And then you get sand everywhere when you come back. And then you can’t read your book because the sun shines on it too brightly. And then you try to eat your sandwich or chips or whatever you bring and a whole tribe of birds (yes, I know it’s the wrong term!) comes flying in. (Once, I even saw a bird steal an entire half-sub from a guy’s hands. The whole thing!) And then you finally decide you’re done for the day so you pack everything up, wash the sand off, get into the car and get sand everywhere, get home, and realize you’re completely sunburnt.

Or…you can throw on a bathing suit, grab a book and your flip-flops and walk over to the pool – which is 2 minutes away. You can relax, swim a little in perfect-temperature water, and get a little sun. Ah, I love the pool.

I don’t love the beach.

I tried reading a novel by Jane Austen, but I got bored.

You can pick your jaws up off the ground now. I’m sorry. I tried. I really, really tried. But I just couldn’t get into her. I’m so used to my fluffy, nonsense chick-lit and romance novels and it her books are not light, fluffy reads! I have to really think when I read her books and right now, I just want some books to read when I’m taking a break from schoolwork where I don’t have to think. I can just read them and laugh at the corniness of it.

I do have a goal to read all of her books so I’m going to try to read them again. Right now, it’s just too hard.

Sometimes, I cry a little when I read articles in SHAPE magazine.

Some of the articles are really inspiring! But I usually only read SHAPE when I’m at the gym, since it motivates me to keep trodding on. So it’s a little weird to choke back the tears while on the elliptical. It’s usually the weight-loss articles that get to me, because I can totally commiserate with these people. I totally know what it’s like to struggle and to find people who manage to make it to their goal weight is awesome. Also, those mother-daughter stories and cancer-survival stories choke me up as well.

When I was little, I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up with my own place so I could leave a roll of cookie dough in the fridge to eat at my heart’s desire.

And even though Travis recently talked about how a certain type of E. Coli can lead to kidney failure and neurological damage, I still love that stuff. I know it’s bad for you so don’t leave me hate comments about it. But it is so gosh-darn good! (And yes, I still have this fantasy.)

What are some confessions you have? And did any of my confessions surprise you?

Categories: About Me

My 100th Post!

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve made it to 100 posts! I’ve had millions of blogs floating around the Internet in the past years but never have I had one like this. This blog has changed me and made me really focus on being a writer. And I try to be somewhat interesting!

Anyway, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions and I got some really good ones! So here we go!

From Pia at Living PrImA: What is your most treasured possession?

Ever since I received this question, I’ve been thinking really hard about it. I really wanted it to be something meaningful but when I kept asking the question to myself, “What would just kill me if I lost it?” It boiled down to him:

And while I hesitate to call him a “possession,” I know it’s going to kill me when he passes away. He’s so much more than a dog to me. He’s like a boyfriend, baby brother, child, and best friend all wrapped up in one adorable package. I can’t wait to go home and see him whenever I’m away. I love how he cuddles right up next to me, to the point where it’s uncomfortable for me, because he craves nearness. I love squeezing his ears, especially when they’re cold. I love his kisses and the way he is the best cuddler I’ve ever met! I just love him.

From Rachael at Senorita Rachael: What is your favorite class?

Well, right now, my favorite class would have to be my News Editing class. The head of the journalism department teaches it and he’s scary and intimidating in a good way. I’m such a grammar Nazi and constantly edit conversations in my head but this class still challenges me and makes me think about grammar and editing in a completely different way. Editing is such an arduous process but completely necessary and it’s fun to learn what it all entails.

Of all time, though, my favorite class would have to be a tie between Psychology and a Classroom Management and Behaviors class. The first one I took while I was in high school (I took college classes for my last 2 years of high school so this was college-level psychology) and the teacher was so much fun and interesting! The information was intense but also extremely interesting, too. The other class was taken during my first semester in the College of Education and I met so many great friends through it and my professor was fantastic. If only she could have been my supervising teacher during my internships, I’m sure I would have passed with no problems! She always had the best stories to tell (she worked with 4th-7th grade for over 25 years) and all the projects I did were fun.

Rachael also asked: I know that your religion is important to you, do you have a favorite Bible passage? I could use a little inspiration.

Romans 6:6-7 which says, “We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.”

First of all, how powerful is that last verse? It gives me chills. And it deals with a lot of what I’m dealing with lately, regarding my spiritual life. Right now, it’s an important verse for me to read and meditate on. Sin holds no power over me anymore. Love that.

From Emily Jane at Emily-Jane: What’s the biggest dream you hope to achieve in this lifetime?

My biggest dream should come as no shock to anyone: I want to get married and have babies! For me, this is what a fulfilled, happy life looks like. I want to wear a beautiful, white dress and have all eyes on me for one day. I want to experience the give and take a marriage takes. I want to feel life growing inside of me, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it may be. And I want to feel that feeling in the pit of my stomach when my child says, “Mama,” to me for the first time.

From Alyssa at My Husband’s Watching TV: Would you rather be invisible or have super strength? Why?

Both would be awesome in their own way. It would be neat to just be invisible when I’m feeling uncomfortable in a social situation or somewhere I don’t want to be. But then super strength would be cool, too. I mean, who would expect me to be able to lift a semi with my pinkie finger? So I would probably choose super strength, just ’cause it sounds cooler.

From Ashley at Industrious Me: What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re alone?

I love my alone time. LOVE. I crave it desperately and I really don’t know what I’m going to do when I’m married and have little rugrats running around because I love my alone time that much. Anyway, to answer your question, my absolute favorite thing to when I’m alone is reading. I just love getting into my bed, pulling the covers up, cuddling with Dutch, and reading for hours. It’s such an escape.

From Amber at Girl With the Red Hair: You are very close to your mom, what’s one thing the two of your completely disagree on or fight about?

We really don’t fight about much. We get along pretty well, especially for two women living together and spending most of their time together. Sometimes, I’ll say something mean that is supposed to be funny but just ends up upsetting her. Or I’ll have a moment where EVERYTHING is irritating me and I’ll just snap at her for no reason. Sometimes, our American Idol discussions can get a little wild and crazy if we don’t have the same opinion. But that’s about it. There’s not much we disagree with.

From Adrienne at Age of Reason: What has been the most defining moment of your 20’s?

I think there have been two. From a professional, career standpoint, it was changing my major from education to journalism. I have found so much happiness in this major change, even though I dealt with a lot of setbacks related to financial aid. But this is where I belong and I’m meant to be.

Another defining moment has to be the letter I recently sent to my father. After not speaking a single word to one another for over 2 years, writing that letter felt like a release. I love how I wrote it and how it turned out. My father’s response to the letter? Disappointing, sad, and completely what I expected. I’m currently formulating my response to it and trust me, it’s not going to be pretty.

From Mandy at Knowing the Difference: Which one post defines you the most?

No question about this one. It was definitely The Letter, which I wrote a few weeks ago. It was such a healing process for me to write.

From Meghan at Blog Voyeur Turned Blogwhore: What’s one thing we would be surprised to learn about you that doesn’t show through in your blogging?

I think my sense of humor doesn’t shine through as much as it does in my daily life. I’m usually serious, and maybe a little bit quirky, here but in real life, I conversate mainly in one-liners and sarcasm. I like making people laugh with comments I didn’t think were that funny but end up cracking them up. It takes me a while to get to the level of comfort with people where I can be sarcastic and know I won’t hurt their feelings with what I say. But yes, definitely my sense of humor. See? Even this answer wasn’t funny!

From Samantha at A Change of Pace: What type of career are you hoping to get into after graduation?

You see, I don’t really know. After taking a few classes, I know areas I’m not interested in: I don’t want to be a reporter and I don’t want to work with any type of design (AT ALL!). I’m really interested in the magazine world and the PR world. I would love to work for some type of ministry, such as Beth Moore’ Living Proof. I think it would be really interesting to work in a Christian environment.

I know getting journalism jobs is hard nowadays. So basically, when I graduate, I just want to have a job lined up and not spend the next year working at my preschool! I know I’ll have time to explore my options further as I gain more experience. And after working at my internship, working in an office with my own cubicle sounds divine! (And grown-up!)

Also from Samantha: We’ve learned a lot about what you’re looking for in a future hubby lately, and I’d like to know: What type of wedding would you like to have with him, and where would you like to go on your honeymoon?

Honestly, I’ve never thought about it. Sounds weird, right? I guess I’m more concerned and enthralled by the man I’ll be marrying than the one-day ceremony uniting us together. Sometimes I picture a traditional wedding, wearing a gorgeous white gown, in a church. Other times, I picture a more relaxed setting on a beach, in a flowy white dress and barefoot. Sometimes, I picture getting married in a picturesque location with breathtaking views and color-coordinated dresses and flowers.

I know I want a wedding. Every girl does, right? I want beautiful pictures to look at and that special day to remember. I want all eyes to be on me for one day. I want to see the look on my man’s face when he sees me walking down the aisle in a beautiful dress.

As for my honeymoon? I’m definitely thinking tropical. Hawaii is a pretty nice locale, don’t you think? Days spent relaxing by the pool, trying out different activities, and spending many, many wonderful hours in bed. (HEY! I’ll be married!) Oh, I cannot wait!

Thanks for all the questions and sorry if this got lengthy! I loved answering them.

Categories: About Me

Does This Make Me Doubly Beautiful?


Two blog friends, Ashley and Michelle, gave me the same award. And since it’s called the “Beautiful Blogger Award” and I was given it twice, it means I’m doubly beautiful. Right? Right. Thanks, girls!

For this award, I must:

The Rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated me for this award
2. Copy the award & place it on my blog
3. Link to the person who nominated me for this award
4. Share 7 interesting things about myself
5. Nominate 7 bloggers

My seven interesting facts are:
1. I have never stepped foot out of this country. And I’m really envious of anyone who has.
2. I’ve only traveled to 5 states. FIVE! And I’m counting my home state in those five. Pretty sad, for someone who’s 22.
3. I would rather sit in my sweats, watching sports, than all prettied-up at a bar.
4. I have an unnatural huge crush on Peyton Manning. I think it’s his brain and his talent that turns me on so much.
5. My favorite movie of all time is Tommy Boy. If you haven’t seen it, you should.
6. I think about my future husband every day. I’m so incredibly in love of the idea of him. And I can’t wait to meet him!
7. I’m addicted to Twitter. I probably check it 20 times a day. Seriously.

My seven nominated bloggers:

1. Jenfer at Pearls and Politics
2. Krysten at After I Do
3. Samantha at A Change of Pace
4. Laura at A Little Coffee
5. Meghan at Blog Voyeur Turned Blogwhore
6. Lauren at In Her Two Shoes
7. Alyssa at My Husband’s Watching TV

Categories: About Me

I’m Praying For You

Well, not really.

See, my prayer life has been non-existent for, oh, the last 6 months? Or maybe even longer. Except for those quick, “Oh, please Jesus, let me make it to class on time,” I don’t send many prayers up towards Heaven these days.

I have this real problem with gullibility and it makes me question everything I believe about my faith. Which I think is good, in a way. I don’t think we should ever get too comfortable in our faith and I also think we need to have a reason why we believe what we do. It’s not enough for me to say, “Jesus died on the cross for my sins.” I want to dig deeper into my faith and know why this is true.

But when I read the Bible, it seems all my questions and doubts make their nasty way into my head where I can’t even read a simple Proverb without questioning it’s rightness. And I do believe the Bible is the ultimate truth and nobody will ever tell me different. (So don’t even try.) But it’s been tough going with my faith lately.

I know I need to start searching for answers and I am desperately seeking a mentor who can guide me through the Bible and all it’s nuances. And I desperately need to rebuild my relationship with Jesus. Because as much as He’s pursuing me and looking after me, I keep turning the other way.

Which brings me back to my first point. I noticed in the past months, I was telling other people whenever they were facing some sort of hardship that I was praying for them. And I’m not. I hate being this honest but I’m hoping this blog post will be cathartic in some way to me, which is why I’m writing it. Whenever someone tells me, they’re praying for me, it lifts my spirits. It bolsters me and I hate, hate, hate that I would do that to someone and not pray for them.

So I’ve stopped saying it. I can’t lie anymore and tell you I’m praying for you, no matter how perfect it seems to fit in the moment. And maybe a lot of you aren’t as naive as I am. Maybe when you hear someone tell you that they’re praying for you, you just smile but don’t sink deep into the meaning of their words. But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t say I’ll do something as important as praying and not do it. It seems so incredibly wrong to me.

I am working on my relationship with Jesus. It’s slow going, mostly on my part. But I have started a prayer list and I do want to start intently praying for people who need it. Even if they don’t believe in it, I want to pray for them. So I wrote this blog and I’m a little nervous about the comments I’ll get. But I had to write it. I had to write down my feelings and put it all out there.

Praying for you? I will.

Categories: About Me

Belief

And no, I’m not talking about religious belief. I’m talking about self-belief. And the fact that I have none.

I went to a information meeting about my school’s newspaper a week ago. Although I know that I don’t want to work for a newspaper when I graduate, I still think it would be an awesome opportunity for me and look good on my resume. (Because, after all, isn’t that why we all try so hard?)

I left the meeting with mixed emotions. On one hand, I was extremely excited and looking forward to submitting my application and becoming a part of the staff. But on the other hand, weighing a lot more, were the doubts that crept into my mind.

In the meeting, there were people who seemed so much more capable than me to be a part of the newspaper. They were throwing out ideas left and right, getting involved, and asking question after question. And there I sat, quiet and doubtful.

Could I really be a part of the newspaper staff? Was I good enough?

This is probably the first time I’ve ever admitted this. And maybe it’s the first time I’ve ever seen it for what is is.

I don’t believe in myself.

And I long to come across as a self-assured, twenty-something. A girl who has experienced life, it’s highs and lows and has come out with a positive attitude. I want to be a girl who believes she can do anything she sets her mind to. But the truth is, I’m not.

I saw this last semester where I got 100% on every single paper I wrote in two classes. Instead of reveling in my successes, I had doubts. Did the professor really read that paper? Was it just grammatically sound, so she gave me the A+? Did she just skim through it and because she was behind on grading, just give me the A+ because it looked OK?

When I lost 25 pounds in 2007, I was probably at my highest point. I was active and healthy. I was losing weight and feeling good about myself. But when I gained it all back in 2008 and failed miserably any attempts at weight loss in 2009, doubts came crawling back. And now the only thing I feel every day when I attempt this healthy lifestyle is doubt. Can I do this? Remember all those other times you failed? Yeah, you’re doing good now but just wait a month. You’ll fall back onto old habits.

It’s really hard to live a successful, capable life with doubts. It has held me back from so much in life. It’s become a part of who I am and I long to rid myself of this heartache.

But how does one attain belief in oneself? Tough question. If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t have doubts. I don’t think there’s any miracle cure. I can’t swallow a pill, drink a shake, or read a book to achieve self-belief. It has to come from inside me.

Maybe it’s just taking all those doubts and keeping them in the forefront of my mind as I venture into unknown lands. Maybe I just need to prove to myself first and foremost that I can do anything I set my mind to. I can get this newspaper job, scary as it may seem, and do my best to be a success. I can keep eating healthy and exercising and not let setbacks hold me down for long. And stop looking at it as a way to lose weight, but a way to become healthy. And I can take every good grade I receive as recognition of my talent. And give myself some credit where credit is due.

What about you? How is your self-belief?

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Welcome!

Hi, I'm Stephany! (She/her) I'm a 30-something single lady, living in Florida. I am a bookworm, cat mom, podcaster, and reality TV junkie. I identify as an Enneagram 9, an introvert, and a Highly Sensitive Person. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

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