Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

Recapping August

Hi, friends! Oh, it is so good to be back here after more than a month away. When my break from blogging started, there were a good 2-3 weeks where I felt so relieved to be on a break. I was so happy to go about my life without thinking about writing posts or managing my editorial calendar. That relief scared me, even though the whole reason I took the break was because I was having blogging burnout. But it made me wonder, “Am I done? Is it time to pack up the blog?” (<– A scary thought when I just paid nearly $500 to Hostgator for another three years of blog hosting service!)

Thankfully, as August started to wind down, I started to feel excited about coming back to my blog. I missed this space and missed the connection of other people. The break from blogging was so necessary, and I am so happy to be back.

There was quite a lot that happened in August. So let’s discuss.

A breakup

At the end of July, I broke up with my girlfriend. It was something that had been marinating in my head for a bit of time, and I knew it was time to end things. It’s hard to end things when there isn’t anything specific to point to; it was just a feeling in my gut that I had to listen to. She wasn’t my person, and I had to come to terms with that. I am glad I did, but not glad I had to hurt someone in the process. I spent much of August processing the breakup and returning to my life of singledom. The dating apps have been added back to my phone, but I haven’t done much with them just yet.

A change in plans

After spending so much time and energy planning to move at the end of October, I have decided to postpone my move until next year. The main reason for this is finances. First, I received my lease renewal last week and learned that my rent will not be increasing at all. I expected it to increase, as it went up by nearly $300 last year (and $100 the year before), so this was a very pleasant surprise. Second, the rent prices for two-bedroom apartments are out of control. I’ve been keeping a close eye on the prices for the handful of complexes I toured and liked, and the one at the top of my list is now averaging around $2,100 for a two-bedroom apartment. (When I originally toured the complex in late spring, the prices were $200 lower.) There is another complex that’s averaging around $1,800 for a two-bedroom apartment, but those apartments aren’t as nice, so I’m partial to the other option. But I’m not partial to spending $400-$700 more on rent. Another reason I’m postponing the move is because, when I planned this move at the end of last year, I was expecting to receive a fairly substantial raise, which did not materialize and it means that adding a much higher rental price to my budget will make things very, very tight. Financially, it makes more sense to stay put for another year.

I’m both relieved that I’m not moving because moving is exhausting and expensive, and sad because I was looking forward to being in a new, bigger space (that wasn’t on a crazy-busy road). I’m trying to cope with the change by thinking about how I can make my apartment even better suited for my needs and recognizing that now I can fully move forward with LASIK. Without an expensive move + higher rent price to worry about, I can finally make this surgery happen. YAY!

A float in the river

I marked a really fun goal off my 2023 list in August – tubing at Rainbow Springs! My mom, my stepdad, and I took the two-hour trip north to spend some time lazily floating in the river, and we had such a great time. It was a very hot day but the river was delightfully cold. (I believe it is always a brisk 72 degrees, which felt amazing on a day when my weather app alerted me about an “extreme heat advisory.”) We learned a lot during this trip, though, like the fact that we need to bring something that we can use to tie our floats together so we don’t get separated from one another. (We eventually clipped my crossbody bag through the loops of our floats to stay together!) We will definitely be back!

A dietician appointment

I am thrilled to report that I found a dietician, and I love her! She is exactly what I was hoping to find in a dietician. During our initial meeting, she talked extensively about her disdain for diet culture and at one point told me that she had no desire to know what I weighed, as weight is not really what matters when it comes to eating healthily. She also didn’t make me feel like a terrible person for drinking soda or having so many sweets in a day. She was such a breath of fresh air, and really made me feel like I could finally make this healthy living journey a reality. It didn’t have to be scary or hard or insurmountable. I can make small changes and if I have a day where I fall into my old unhealthy patterns, that’s okay. In fact, it will happen and there’s no need to beat myself up about it.

At the end of the appointment, she gave me a very loose nutrition plan of how she would like me to eat throughout the day. What really blew my mind was when she told me she wanted me to try to eat a piece of fruit before my morning workout. I always work out first thing when I wake up, and often feel sluggish and blah. I figured that was due to being tired and, honestly, being fat. But actually, it’s because I haven’t eaten in many, many hours and my body needs a quick jolt to get going. Mind-blowing! (I haven’t really tested this theory because, um, I’ve kind of fallen off the workout wagon, but I imagine it will help once I get back into my routine.)

One of the things I’ve been really working on is eating more fruits and veggies (after I finished walking her through a typical day of eating, she remarked, “So, I’m not seeing any fruits and veggies on here.” Lolz) as well as snacking more often. I have hypoglycemia and it especially rears its head in the morning/afternoon if I don’t eat every few hours. So now I’m eating breakfast around 7:30, having a snack (string cheese + a package of cashews/almonds/dried pineapple) around 10:00-10:30, having lunch around noon, and then having another snack in the afternoon (celery + PB has been my go-to, but I may change this to Greek yogurt and fruit).

Other good things

Recording season 6 of our podcast with Bri (our trailer released today!) • a lady date with Bri to watch the Red, White, and Royal Blue movie (so darn cute!) • seeing a friggin DOLPHIN in the canal across the street to my mom’s house • doing the most fun escape room with book club • The Big Nailed It Baking Challenge • catching up with my favorite Georgia family when they were in town • a fun game night with work friends • an excellent mid-year review with my VP

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | June 2023

Good Stuff

Top moment of the month: A Pride-themed photoshoot. This was such a perfect evening! We dressed up in a rainbow dress/rainbow skirt, with rainbow flower crowns, and the bisexual flag. Bri sweetly took photos of us at our favorite local indie bookstore and then we posted them on Instagram the following day. I was so scared to publish the post, but the response was overwhelmingly positive.

Other good moments: 

  • Attending the St. Pete Pride Parade – It was hot and humid, but we had such a good time.
  • Axe throwing with book club – This was so much fun! June was my month to suggest an activity and this is what I chose. I’ve been axe throwing one other time and remember finding it really fun. Some of my friends were very apprehensive, and I appreciate them facing their fears for me!
  • Recording season 5 of the podcast – We dug into the nitty-gritty of traveling in this season and we had a blast reminiscing about our memories.
  • Pool days with my mom and the dogs – It’s definitely pool weather, and I am very grateful that my mom has a pool. My mom has a slew of floats, too, and Chip especially loves jumping on a float from the edge of the pool deck.
  • Making art with Mom – This was my mom’s belated Mother’s Day gift from me, and we were so pleased with our creations! It was a really fun night.
  • Celebrating 9 years of friendship with Bri – I can’t believe she’s been part of my life for so long! We had a Friday night date to a museum where we participated in a scavenger hunt. The museum was amazing and the scavenger hunt made our time there even more fun.
  • Coming out to my brother – My brother was the last person I had to come out to (well, the last person whose opinion really matters to me). I was so, so scared because I wasn’t sure how he would react/if this would cause a rift between us. But, thankfully, nothing of the sort happened! He was very happy for me and told me repeatedly that something like this would never cause a rift.

Hard Stuff

  • Dad grief – June is always a tough month for me. My dad turned 60 on June 5th and then two weeks later, it was Father’s Day. I felt very sad on June 5th and the days afterward. I don’t know if it’s because my dad celebrated a milestone birthday or I was just really in my feelings this year, but it was hard. I miss him immensely.
  • Laziness – I was very, very lazy in June (you’ll see in the goal recap section, oof). The weather is making daily walks very difficult. If I do them early in the morning, I’m dealing with lower temps but very high humidity (90% some mornings!). If I do them later in the day, the humidity is a smidge lower but the heat index is 95º+. I just need to get over myself because high heat and humidity are better than the dangerous air quality other people are dealing with, right?!

Bookish Stuff

  • # of books/pages read: 10 books (2,960 pages)
  • Favorite book of the month: Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo
  • Favorite romance of the month: Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld
  • Least favorite book of the month: Have I Told You This Already? by Lauren Graham
  • Quickest read: Have I Told You This Already? by Lauren Graham (4 days)
  • Longest read: Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (13 days)
  • Books I abandoned: Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
  • Format breakdown: print books (5), audiobooks (4), e-books (1)
  • Genre breakdown: Fiction (3), romance (3), nonfiction (3), YA (1)
  • Average star rating: 4.1

Stuff I Recommend

  • The Little Mermaid (movie) – My mom and I saw this movie together and it was phenomenal! Man, I loved it so much. Halle Bailey was a complete delight and so talented, Flounder and Sebastian were so much fun, and the scenery was out of this world. Highly recommend!
  • Clue (movie) – This movie was amazing! I couldn’t get enough of it, especially the ending. Tim Curry is everything in this movie.
  • John Mulaney: Baby J (comedy special) – John Mulaney has been through a lot since his last comedy special: the outing of his drug addiction, a two-month stint in rehab, a divorce, a messy relationship, a new baby… his squeaky-clean image is effectively gone. While I am very displeased at the way he handled some of his issues (namely, the divorce), I wanted to watch this special because it was a Jamie Golden “green light” and I listen to her. I’m really glad I watched this special! It was hilarious in parts but also very poignant and real. He didn’t gloss over his addiction and what came after, but he still made it funny.
  • LGBTQIA+ in the Church on The Bible Binge (podcast episode) – This podcast episode was so very good, and I’m recommending it to everyone I know. It’s probably less necessary for anyone who didn’t grow up in a church setting and doesn’t need to hear from people why it’s okay to be affirming of LGBTQIA+ people. But as someone who didn’t come out for a long time because I thought being queer was a sin against God, it gave me a lot of hope.

Goal Stuff

  • Go for a walk every day (10/31) – Oh, this isn’t pretty at all. I kept being lazy in the morning and not going on a walk, and then it would get blazing hot and I just didn’t want to go outside and get super sweaty. I must do better in July!
  • Drink a bottle of water every day (11/31) – Another pitiful month of water drinking.
  • Complete 100 Peloton workouts (44/100) – I was just so damn lazy in June. So lazy! I’m now 6 workouts behind in my goal. Oof.
  • Watch 6 movies and 6 standup specials – I watched two movies and two standup specials in June, which puts me ahead of my goal. Woohoo!

What was a highlight of June for you?

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | May 2023

Good Stuff

Early in the month, my new tv bed arrived! It has been amazing to sleep on a brand-new mattress. I’ve said before how I didn’t realize how lumpy and saggy my old bed was until I started sleeping on this new one. It has made a world of difference in my sleep! My new bedframe is also smaller than my old one since there isn’t a huge footboard to deal with, so it’s given me some space back in my bedroom, which is also really nice!

I took my girlfriend to a cat cafe in May, and we had a wonderful time! This cat cafe was made for photo ops and I really enjoyed playing with all of the kitties. I especially loved this adult cat who had the run of the place and acted like the king he is—at one point, he just plopped into the lap of one of the workers and let her hold him like a baby. He wasn’t an adoptable cat, but I would have adopted him in an instant if I could!

Mother’s Day was a simple, understated affair for us, mainly because we waited way too long to get a reservation at a restaurant. I need to set an alert in my phone to make the reservation 6 months ahead of time! Instead, we were able to snag an early-morning reservation at a very delicious breakfast place, and afterward, my mom and I drove to the cemetery to visit grandma and bring her flowers.

We had such a fun book club night this month! It ended up just being four of us since one member was sick and the other had a pet emergency (a false alarm, thank goodness). We started at our favorite downtown Greek restaurant where I stuffed myself on pita bread and tirosalata, and then we headed to the St. Petersburg Shuffleboard Club for a night of playing shuffleboard. We had a great time and played three games with a different team winning each time! How fun that we all got to experience winning! (Okay, so actually, Lynn was on the winning team every time and the other three of us rotated positions/teams on the shuffleboard court each game. Lynn was the scorekeeper so stayed put. The trick to winning was being on Lynn’s team! Haha.) Afterward, we found an ice cream shop and had a sweet treat to cap off a lovely evening.

Memorial Day was wonderful, as I invited myself over for pool time and a cookout. Ha! My mom and I spent time in the pool together with the dogs who were so cute in their life jackets and enjoyed jumping on and off our pool floats. I really loved just laying on a pool float, closing my eyes, and letting the water carry me around and around the pool. Afterward, Robert grilled us an amazing late lunch of hamburgers and hot dogs. I haven’t had a grilled hot dog in so long! We also had the juiciest watermelon and most delicious brownies to munch on. It felt like a great way to kick off summer 2023!

Hard Stuff

  • Mole removal – My mole removal ended up being a bit more cumbersome than I expected. I needed to have two moles removed and thankfully, they were right next to each other, but it meant more stitches than I expected (7) and being a lot more careful because of the area of the back the moles were removed from. My doctor had to use stronger stitches and set them in deeper than typical to make sure they held together. Fun times!
  • Ingrown toenails – To continue the medical woes of my month, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I have ingrown toenails on both of my big toes. I’ve always known something was wrong with them because they hurt so much after a pedicure and sometimes, it’s painful to even lightly touch the toe, but I didn’t put the two-and-two together until last month. One of my toes has gotten to be so painful that I just want to see a podiatrist and ask them to remove my entire toenail and let it grow back. (Dramatic, much?) I am going to attempt some at-home remedies in June and see if that helps.

Stuff I Recommend

  • Jury Duty (TV show) – If you have not watched Jury Duty yet, what are you waiting for? It has become a cult favorite, it seems, and it’s well worth the watch! The premise of the show is that it’s a documentary being filmed about a jury trial, taking people behind-the-scenes on jury selection, jury deliberation, the ins-and-outs of a court case, etc. Only, the documentary is fake and everyone involved in the documentary is an actor… except for one person: Ronald. He thinks everything is real and that he’s filming a documentary. Ronald makes this whole show worth it because he is so earnest and sweet and likable. He is everything this world needs. The show is streaming on Prime and Freevee (I watched it on Freevee), so please watch it and tell me what you think!
  • Mixtiles – I am going to once again shout about my love for Mixtiles, which is a photo app where you can print off cute little canvas tiles of your photos. They always have incredible sales (like, “buy 8 tiles, get 8 tiles free!”). I have a whole wall of Mixtiles in my home, and bought a few more when they were having a great sale last month. The quality is usually great and they are so easy to stick up on a wall and move around. I’ve had some issues with the adhesive not sticking as well for some tiles but I just slap a Command strip on the adhesive and it’s good to go!
  • Weekly to-do list pad ($6) – I bought this pad on a whim when I was at Target sometime last month. I’ve been looking for a to-do list like this where I have both a place to list out my tasks for the week and a weekly calendar to see meetings at a glance. It’s been working out so well for me!

Bookish Stuff

  • # of books/pages read: 9 books (3,422 pages)
  • Favorite book of the month: We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres Sanchez
  • Least favorite book of the month: The Power by Naomi Alderman (<– but this was still a 4-star read for me; I read all 4- and 5-star books in May!)
  • Quickest read: The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka (5 days)
  • Longest read: The 1619 Project, edited by Nikole Hannah-Jones (23 days)
  • Books I abandoned: none!
  • Format breakdown: print books (3), e-books (3), and audiobooks (3)
  • Genre breakdown: Fiction (4), romance (3), nonfiction (2)

Goal Stuff

  • Go for a walk every day (19/31) – I was doing so well with this goal until I had my mole removal and basically stopped doing most physical activity while it healed. I could have gone for short walks every day, but I didn’t. But hey, 19 walks ties January as my highest total for this goal so there’s that.
  • Drink a bottle of water every day (13/31) – This seems to be my magic number, as I’ve hit 13 days of drinking a full bottle of water a few times this year. Maybe in June, I can make it to 15?!
  • Complete 100 Peloton workouts (40/100) – I did 14 Peloton workouts before my mole removal happened, so this really helped me get back on track with this goal. Wahoo! I just need to log 10 Peloton workouts in June.
  • Buy a new mattress and bedframe – This was a big goal for me in 2023, and I’m glad I can finally mark it complete. My brother delivered my new mattress/box spring early in the month and also put together my bedframe for me. What a guy!
Categories: Life

School Days | Middle School

It’s been quite a while since I did a “School Days” post, and maybe part of the reason for the lag is that I wasn’t excited about recapping middle school. It was a very, very hard time in my life. My parents had just gotten divorced with the help of a divorce lawyer like this family law attorney in Lake Forest, my mom was struggling with depression and just trying to keep her head above water financially while supporting two preteens. There were a lot of low moments, but also some sweet memories that I had sort of forgotten. Seeking legal assistance from Family Lawyers in Glasgow in processing all legal documents and child custody would be a great help to a family struggling with this problem.

SIXTH GRADE (1999 – 2000)

  • Insomniac – What I remember most about this year was my insomnia. I’m guessing it was a product of the divorce, my mom’s depression, and probably my own depression. I remember listening to a Christian CD (WOW 2000, iykyk) on repeat and now I can’t listen to any of the songs that were on that album without remembering this time and getting deeply sad. My grandma had told my mom at one point to not let me get up when I had insomnia. I had to stay in my room and try to sleep. In hindsight, my mom and I agree that this was not the right call but this was a different time when we didn’t have as many tools and access to mental health resources as we do now. My mom was just trying to do what she thought was right, what her mom told her to do. It was a really hard year for me. Eventually, I found that starting my night on the floor seemed to help. I don’t know why, but it did. I would just lay on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets and read until I fell asleep. If I woke up in the middle of the night, I’d climb up on my bed to finish off the night there.
  • Being the new girl – I started sixth grade as the new girl at school. It seemed like everyone else in my grade had transferred over from the nearby elementary school and everyone knew each other well. I felt very alone at first, until I met the girl who would become my best friend throughout middle school. Chelsea was a short, bubbly, and fun friend and through her, I had access to so many other people and quickly developed a close-knit friend group.
  • Gym class – In sixth grade, one of my electives was gym. I hated gym. I hated doing the daily run in the field. I hated having to change in the changing room. I hated feeling gross and smelly after gym class, even though I would douse myself in body spray to get the stink off. For years, I couldn’t smell the body spray I used every day after gym class without feeling anxious. I especially hated that my next class was on the other side of the school, so the minute the bell rang, I would have to walk as fast as possible to make it over there in under 5 minutes. Never, ever was I late to class but every day, I worried I would be. (<– It’s things like this that remind me how early my anxiety disorder started and how much better my life would have been if I talked to my mom or another professional about it. Alas.)
  • A bike rider – Sixth grade was the first school year where my parents were divorced (see above: insomnia). My mom, my brother, and I were living in a very cute two-bedroom condo that was only a mile-and-a-half from our middle school. (My mom didn’t have a bedroom; she wanted my brother and me to have our own rooms so she slept on the couch in the living room.) Anyway, this meant my brother and I rode our bikes to school every day. You guys, I hated this. I just abhorred the fact that I had to ride my bike every day and had to have helmet hair at the beginning of every school day. It is not a fun memory for me.
  • Reading class – My favorite class this year was reading. (Is anyone surprised?) We had a really great teacher who was so passionate about the subject. She also had an amazing classroom library and we could check out books from her library whenever she wanted. She had an inventory system for her library, too, with this big binder full of the book titles and authors (organized alphabetically by the author’s last name). We could do “inventory” during down periods, which I loved so much that I went home and created my own inventory system for my books.

SEVENTH GRADE (2000 – 2001)

  • Volleyball tryouts – Because my best friend Chelsea played volleyball, I decided to try out for the team in seventh grade. Was I athletic? No. Did I ever play volleyball in my life? Also no. So what was I thinking, trying out for the team? Peer pressure, I guess. I did not make the team and while I was a little disappointed, I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
  • New electives – In seventh grade, I did not have to take gym! So no more worrying about smelling bad all day or rushing across the school to get to my next class. Hooray! Instead, I took chorus and Spanish I. I really enjoyed both classes, and Spanish was especially fun because we had such a fun teacher who really made learning a new language interesting. She also called me Estefania, which I loved.
  • My first boyfriend – I had a boyfriend in seventh grade! What did having a boyfriend at 13 entail? Never talking to each other, passing notes in between classes, mooning over him in secret, and eventually breaking up after a few weeks and feeling shattered even though I had never said more than a few words to him. Young love, man.
  • A new apartment – A few months into seventh grade, my mom received a letter from the woman who owned our condo that she was selling it and we would need to move. My mom found us another two-bedroom apartment on the opposite side of town. For most kids, this would necessitate starting over at a different school but my mom, knowing my brother and I had been through enough upheaval as it was, kept us at the same school and just drove us to school every day. (We basically just didn’t let the school know our address had changed, lol.)
  • Our first computer – A big box was delivered to our apartment in December 2000, which my mom promptly wrapped up and put in my closet. She told us that it was a present for one of my cousins that needed to be kept at our place until Christmas. But instead, it was our first computer! It was this incredibly large Gateway computer and I have no idea how my mom afforded it, but she made it work somehow. It was amazing to have a computer and be able to connect to the internet via AOL Online.

EIGHTH GRADE (2001 – 2002)

  • Another new apartment – Sometime over the summer, we moved to a new apartment that was in the same zoning area as my middle school. This meant I wouldn’t have to start over at a different school! There was also a bus that would take me to school, which I know was easier for my mom to handle.
  • 9/11 – I was in eighth grade when 9/11 happened. At the time, I was really confused. I didn’t know what the Twin Towers were or what this even meant for our society. Here’s what I remember about that day: (1) Hearing about the attack happening right after arriving to my third period math class where I learned about the Etci theorem and more, I really liked math back then; (2) Our vice principal coming into my fifth period social studies class and discussing what had happened with us; (3) Watching news coverage all day, in every class; (4) Thinking about how sad it was that Marc, a classmate, whose birthday was 9/11 would always have his birthday linked with this tragedy.
  • 8th grade dance – One of the most vivid memories I have of middle school was our 8th grade dance. I went with a group of girlfriends. We all got ready together at a friend’s house, showed up to the dance in a limo (!), danced the night away with each other, and afterward, went out to Red Lobster (with all of our moms in the booth near us). It was such a good night. The next day, my mom commented how alive I come when I’m with my girlfriends, which made me feel really good.
  • My most embarrassing moment – Speaking of the 8th grade dance, I’m pretty sure the most embarrassing moment of my life happened there. At the end of the dance, the 8th grade king and queen were named. These were voted on by the students and there was a rumor going around the middle school that the guy who was the frontrunner for king was cheating by adding extra votes. How true were these rumors? No idea. But I scoffed when his name was announced as king and said to my friend next to me, “Well now we know for sure he cheated.” Right as he walked by me. He turned around, gave me a saucy grin, and sauntered up to the stage. How embarrassing!
  • The last day of middle school – People were so sad on the last day of middle school. There were so many tears, but me? I was so, so happy. Middle school ended up being the worst three years of my life and I just wanted to be out of there. I would be going to a high school that few of my middle school friends were attending, and I was just fine with that. (One of my closest friends was also going there, though, so I felt good about that.) I was ready for summer break and a new start.
Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | April 2023

Good Stuff

My girlfriend and I had a day date early in the month where we went to a candle shop to make our own candles! What a fun experience. We got to choose the exact scents we wanted and mix them up ourselves to achieve that perfect balance. When it comes to candle making you don’t have to look far for supplies, as most artisan candle makers and large candle brands purchase their candle wax from a UK company called Kerax. I just burned the candle for the first time last week (we were instructed to wait two weeks before using them) and it made my apartment smell amazing!

I’ve been talking about it for a while, and in April, I finally took the plunge and went back to brunette! I am really enjoying the new color and am planning to go even darker brown during my next coloring appointment at the end of June. I didn’t want the change to feel too drastic to start, so we opted for a light auburn-y brown that is very close to my natural color. It’s fun and makes me feel good!

Mom and I had a lovely time last month picking flowers at a u-pick farm. I went to this farm last year with a friend and then told my mom this would be her Mother’s Day present (in 2022). Unfortunately, we never made it to the farm last year because it just got too hot. So she cashed in her present nearly a year later and we had a great time! We picked flowers, my mom got lots of great produce from their stand, and then we went out to lunch.

I’ve talked about how magical the Taylor Swift concert was, and the shine has not worn off. It was one of the most amazing nights of my life and I am so in awe of Taylor as a performer. She’s one of the greats.

This month, I spent a week with my fur-siblings! My mom and stepdad went on a cruise for five days, so I was on doggo duty. Chip and Lucy are my favorite little babies and we had a great time together. And I noticed how much more well-behaved Chip is now that he’s going through training! It’s night and day!

My girlfriend and I had a lovely bookish date for Independent Bookstore Day. We love our local indie, Tombolo Books, so we made sure to get there early to beat the crowd. I got a handful of books, some stickers, and a Indie Bookstore Day t-shirt so I left a very happy camper.

Hard Stuff

  • A mole problem – I mentioned on a previous post that I went for my annual skin check in April and had to get two moles biopsied. My dermatologist wasn’t sure if they would come back with anything but they looked a little funky and she wanted to be cautious. Good thing! Both of those moles came back with precancerous markers. So in two weeks, I’ll be back to the dermatologist to get the moles fully removed. It’s not fun, but I am so grateful for a super-cautious dermatologist.
  • More anxiety than normal – After feeling like my anxiety disorder was at a super stable place, things seemed to devolve a bit in April. Generally, my anxiety is in a much better spot than it was last year. But a few times a week, usually at night, I get these random bouts of panic and anxiety. I can never predict when they are going to happen, which is frustrating. It doesn’t happen every day, though, so I’m always worried if I bring this up to my psychiatrist, she’s going to tell me I just need to deal with it. We’ve gotten my anxiety to a “good enough” spot, and I should be grateful for that, right? It’s a crazy fear to have, I know, but it’s always there. (Thankfully, my psychiatrist is not a psychopath and told me I don’t have to live like this and is subscribing me an “as needed” medication to try.)
  • Social burnout – This was a busy month for me and after a stretch of having big plans almost every single day for over a week, I was feeling irritable and so very tired. So I canceled almost every plan I had one weekend and rested. It was so very needed and I felt so refreshed.

Stuff I Recommend

  • Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret (movie) – This movie was so good! I thought the role of Margaret was perfectly cast and I just loved all of the different odes to puberty. It’s a very weird time in a girl’s life! I was the girl who developed early (I got my period at 10!) so I didn’t deal with these common worries about getting my first period, but it was fun to reminisce about that time in my life.
  • Cat necklace ($15) – I saw this delicate cat necklace on Etsy one day when I was looking at jewelry options and I had to buy it. It is a perfect new necklace for my collection! (I got it in rose gold.)
  • Floodlines – I’ve had this podcast saved in my to-be-listened-to list for quite a while, and finally got around to listening to it last month. It goes through what happened in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, especially the way residents of New Orleans were treated after the tragedy and the way government officials responded. It tells a harrowing, difficult story and it’s a must-listen, in my opinion.
  • Love Is Blind – Do I really recommend this show? Probably not. But it’s such a guilty pleasure of mine. It’s a ridiculous concept, but I can’t stop watching it! Come for the trashy reality TV, stay for the Brett and Tiffany love story that is so sweet and the true epitome of Black excellence. <3

Bookish Stuff

  • # of books/pages read: 9 books (3,013 pages)
  • Favorite book of the month: I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai
  • Least favorite book of the month: To Sir, With Love by Lauren Layne
  • Underrated gem of the month: The Saturday Evening Girls Club by Jane Healy
  • Books I abandoned
    • The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow
    • Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, and a Few Hard Truths by Rachel Lindsay
  • Format breakdown: print books (4), e-books (3), and audiobooks (2)
  • Genre breakdown: Romance (3), historical fiction (2), fiction (1), thriller (1), nonfiction (1), and YA (1)

Goal Stuff

  • Go for a walk every day (15/30) – I’m actually kind of shocked that I went for 15 walks last month. I definitely thought the number was going to be lower. It was just one of those months when I was so busy with other things and going for a daily walk fell by the wayside.
  • Drink a bottle of water every day (9/30) – Pitiful.
  • Complete 100 Peloton workouts (26/100) – Yikes, I only did 3 Peloton workouts in April! This puts me behind my goal by 7 workouts. Hopefully, my goal of working out every day in May will get me back on track!
  • Watch 6 movies and 6 standup specials – I watched TWO movies in April so now I’m ahead of my goal, woop! I saw Stepbrothers during a private movie event with some friends and then AYTGIMM with my mom, as mentioned above.