Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

My Laundry Habits

I love talking about those little routine parts of our lives that we all do so differently. That’s why I wrote a two-part series on sleep. And have discussed my showering routine. Today, we’re going to talk about laundry.

The way I do laundry is going to be vastly, vastly different from the way other people do laundry because I am a single lady with no kids so I only have to worry about my own laundry. Which is very, very nice! So let’s dig into this topic.

How often I do laundry

In the past, my “tell” for when it was time to do laundry was when I was down to just a few pairs of underwear. But things changed when I moved into my current apartment because of my washer. The basin is so very tiny that I cannot do a regular load of clothes anymore. It was hard for me to gauge when I had enough laundry for a full load (usually, I had too much laundry) so now I use the basin as my laundry basket. Yep! Rather than sticking dirty clothes into a regular laundry basket that I keep in my bedroom or bathroom, everything goes right into the washer. Once the basin is nearly full, I will add in some other items – like my current pajamas, the lounge clothes I’ve been wearing around, etc. – and then pop in a Tide pod and go. Typically, I do one load of laundry every 7-10 days.

Separating laundry

Want to know one of my controversial opinions? I don’t believe in separating laundry by color. White shorts, black shirts, bright pink sports bras? It all goes into one load! And everything washes just fine! I have been doing my laundry this way for years and have never had an issue. So I do not do separate loads for my whites and my darks.

The types of laundry I do

There are five types of laundry I do regularly:

  • Clothes – Like I said above, I do not separate my clothing into whites and darks. I do one full load of clothing every 7-10 days.
  • Towels/washcloths – I do a separate load of towels, washcloths, and reusable cotton rounds. (I use washcloths + cotton rounds twice/daily for my skincare routine.) During this cycle, I will also throw in the hand towel I use in the bathroom, any kitchen towels I’ve been using, the towel wrap I use for my hair after a shower, and sometimes the mopping pad I used when cleaning my floors.
  • Bedding – I wash my pillowcases and fitted sheet.
  • Bras – I have two nice bras that I wash separately from the other clothes, on a delicate cycle.
  • Quilt – My apartment washer/dryer is not big enough to wash my quilt effectively, so I bring it to my mom’s to wash.

My laundry system

Here’s how my laundry process works:

Washing

  • Once I have filled up the washer basin with clothes that need to be washed, I will start a load.
  • After the clothes are done and transferred to the dryer, I’ll either do a load of towels/washcloths or bedding. I usually alternate which one I do. If I’m running low on washcloths, then I do towels/washcloths. If not, I’ll do my bedding. (I’m usually only washing my bedding on a monthly basis. IT SHOULD BE MORE OFTEN. I know that. I just can’t get into the habit of doing so.)
  • If it’s time to wash my bras, I’ll do a delicate cycle for them after my second load of laundry and then let them air dry.

Drying

  • I am particular about what clothes I allow into the dryer. All of my underwear, jeans/pants/shorts, sports bras, bralettes, and socks go into the dryer. For shirts, most get hung up to air dry (even some of my workout shirts if they are on the smaller side). I have a lot of cotton tees that will go in the dryer, especially if they are big on me. I take care of my dryer by hiring dryer vent cleaning services regularly. Dresses are air-dried. (To airdry, I just hang up the shirt/dress on a hanger and hang it on a shelf in my closet. I have wire shelving in my walk-in closet, so it’s easy to hang things from there.)
  • All towels, washcloths, cotton rounds, mopping pads, and bedding goes straight into the dryer.

Folding/Putting Away

I am okay at folding/putting away my laundry in a timely manner. There are some days when the last load will be in the dryer overnight if I’m tired. But usually, I put on a podcast and fold laundry on my kitchen table and it’s not a huge deal. It helps that it’s only my laundry I’m dealing with!

Laundry products I use

I’m not fancy with my laundry and I suppose I could look into more eco-friendly products than what I currently use, but it’s not something I have researched. Currently, I use Tide pods (I get the really big container that usually lasts me 8-10 months). I use the Tide 4-in-1 Ultra Oxi pods for cleaning my clothes and Tide Hygienic Clean Power Pods for towels and bedding. For my bras, I use Woolite Delicates laundry detergent. I buy a small bottle, which lasts a pretty long time for me. I don’t use any sort of dryer sheets or dryer balls in the dryer. My mom swears by them, but I guess I don’t really understand what they do, other than making my clothes smell nice. It doesn’t seem necessary.

And that’s my laundry routine! I’d love to hear about what yours looks like, but please don’t tell me if you’re appalled at how many weeks I go between washing my bedding. I’m a work in progress, okay?!

Categories: Life

What Is a Writing Date?

Tobia asked if I could talk more about my writing dates, which is something I talk about a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever fully explained it. I thought it was a great idea for a blog post!

I looked through my blog archives to see if I could find out when we started our writing dates. I don’t know when the official start date was, but I do have a blog post from February 2013 where I talked about our writing dates, and I believe that’s the first time I mentioned it. So, we have been doing our writing dates for A FULL DECADE now! That’s crazy to think about.

(And slightly despairing. A full decade of near-weekly writing dates and not a single finished manuscript to speak of. Sigh.)

Our writing dates have gone through a whole lot of changes over these past 10 years. There have been pauses here and there, like when Mikaela had her babies and when Olive was going through cancer treatment. There was a shift from in-person writing dates to Zoom writing dates during the pandemic. We’ve tried many different Starbucks and Paneras, quitting one Starbucks because they kept their store way too cold and quitting another because Mikaela could never connect to their wifi. When we returned to in-person writing dates during the pandemic, we had to shift from Starbucks to Panera since Starbucks was only doing drive-thru and pickup options at that time.

Being flexible has been key for us to keep our writing dates sacred. For a while, we were doing Friday night writing dates and then that changed to Sunday morning and then to Saturday mornings and at some point last year, Mikaela needed Saturday midafternoon writing dates so she could help with naptime at home. Some weekends are busy, though, and we may not be able to meet for a writing date. Or we may have to try to squeeze it into a Friday night during dinnertime at Mikaela’s house.

We value this time together, though, both to have a set aside number of hours to work on our creative projects, and to have time for each other. So we make it a priority.

What do we do during our writing dates? Well, that has changed a lot over the years.

Originally, I was writing a novel, so I would spend my writing dates working on my novel. We’d get settled into our seats, chat for a little bit, and then work silently next to each other writing. At this time, Mikaela was also writing a novel (which she finished and was in the middle of editing when her daughter got sick). So, we would write, sometimes asking a question to the other if we needed feedback on something we just wrote, and then at the end of the writing date, we would read out loud what we wrote during the last hour to one another. This way, we could offer advice or give encouragement.

My problem with writing, however, is that I can never stay with one story. Or I’ll write 10,000 words of a story and suddenly feel like I need to change everything about it. It’s frustrating for Mikaela because she just wants me to write my novel and I am not great about being consistent. She knew something bad was coming when I’d start off a writing date with, “So I was thinking about my novel and…”

A few years ago, I finally came to terms with myself and set my novel-writing goal aside. Maybe one day I will come back to it and finally write that novel that is inside me, but I’m just not in the right headspace for it right now. Instead, I use our writing dates to work on blog posts, tackle my blog categorization project, and outline podcast episodes. Usually, I’ll come to our writing date with a specific idea of what I want to work on. (For example, during our most recent writing date over the weekend, my goal was to finish recategorizing all of my 2011 blog posts.)

Mikaela is working on her own creative project right now, which I won’t get into since she may not want me to talk about it! But we keep ourselves very busy with our own work. We’ll start the writing date by asking each other what we intend to work on and we’ll chit-chat with each other throughout the writing date.

Our writing dates last around 1.5 to 2 hours, and we probably devote half of that time to catching up with each other and the other half to working on our creative projects. Lately, we’ve been going to Panera (we used to have a fave Starbucks where all of the baristas knew our names, but her laptop couldn’t connect to their wifi for some reason). Since we live about 30 minutes from each other, we switch off which Panera we go to (there is one that is less than 10 minutes from her house, and one that is less than 10 minutes from mine).

These writing dates are a great touchpoint for me. I get to have some time with my best friend while also making progress on my creative projects. It’s truly become one of my favorite parts of the weekend, and I am so grateful I have a friend like Mikaela to have these dates with!

Any other questions about my writing dates? I’m happy to answer them!

Categories: Life

NaBloPoMo 2022: Let’s Get Started!

Hi, friends! It’s NaBloPoMo 2022 tiiiime.

I have been looking forward to starting NaBloPoMo for such a long time, like just the anticipation of it was enough to boost my mood immensely. I don’t know why I’ve been so excited! Maybe it’s the community aspect of this challenge and knowing I’m doing it with a lot of other bloggers? Or maybe I’m just excited for all of the blog posts I have planned and I’m looking forward to sharing it all with you guys. Well, for whatever reason, I am just so stinking excited for NaBloPoMo and I hope you guys are as well.

An Introduction of Sorts

I’m not sure if I’ll have some new readers popping by this month but, if so, I thought I could give you a quick introduction, bullet-list style:

  • My name is Stephany and I’m a mid-thirties single lady living on the West Coast of Florida (the Tampa Bay area, to be exact!)
  • I’m a content marketing manager for a company I’ve been with for over 9 years and I love, love, love what I do. A large part of my job involves mentoring writers, managing our contractor program, and overseeing our content assignments (we have 2,000+ pieces to assign out every month!).
  • I have two cats who have my whole heart: Eloise is my tuxedo kitty who is very social and chatty and Lila is my sweet calico who is an expert snuggler but very shy. They are both 4.5 years old and have turned me into a crazy cat lady. (Before them, I’d only ever had dogs!)
  • I recently launched a podcast with my best friend, Bri, called The Friendship Paradox where we explore the world of personality typing and how our personalities show up so differently in our lives.
  • My favorite hobby of all-time is reading. I regularly read 130+ books a year, although this year I’m averaging slightly below that. My favorite genres are romance, contemporary fiction, thrillers, social justice nonfiction, and YA.
  • My mom is my best friend and favorite person in the world, and I spend a lot of time with her. In fact, in just a few weeks, we’re leaving on a cruise together! I’m also very close with my brother who lives nearby.
  • Other things to know about my: I’m a fat lady and have grown to appreciate my body no matter that it doesn’t hold up to the societal ideal, I’m a baby queer and came out “late” in life, and I could talk politics with people all the live-long day.

What to Expect This Month

I have a lot of fun blog posts planned this month. My entire editorial calendar for November is planned out, but of course, nothing is set in stone. I’m leaving myself the option to switch things around if needed. Here is some of what I’m looking forward to writing:

  • Week in the Life – I’ll start this next week and I’m really looking forward to doing this series again. I’ve done it 5 times: 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2020. I’ve missed a few years here and there, but it’s one of my favorite series to do.
  • Thank God It’s Sunday – I’m planning on switching my TGIF posts to Sunday. Last year, I did a “stream of consciousness” post every Sunday, which was fun to do, but I like the idea of doing TGIS instead.
  • School Days – I’m going to continue my “School Days” posts by documenting my middle school years. Middle school was TOUGH for me, so I’m not exactly looking forward to reliving it but I will do it for the blog.
  • My annual birthday post – I turn 35 (!) at the end of the month and I’ll celebrate with my annual birthday post. This past year has had a lot of growth in it, both professionally and personally, and I’m looking forward to sitting down and talking about it.
  • Ask Me Anything – It’s baaaack. More below!

Ask Me Anything!

Last year, I reserved every Saturday for an “Ask Me Anything” blog post, and I’d love to bring it back this year! You can either fill out my form to answer your question (if you’d like to remain anonymous!) or you can ask a question (or questions!) on this post in the comment section. Depending on how many questions I receive, I’ll spend a few Saturdays this month answering your most curious quandaries. 🙂

Are you doing NaBloPoMo this year? Leave any questions you have for me below!

Categories: Life

Why I Don’t Want to Own a Home

When I posted my 2022 Goals update post last week, I received a few comments from lovely readers who wanted to know more about my decision to continue renting rather than buying a home in the (very distant) future. While I have talked about my decision to rent in other posts (like this one, from 2020), I liked the idea of talking through some of the reasons why I don’t want to be a homeowner:

1) Saving up for a down payment on a house feels impossible.

Let’s talk about the biggest roadblock to buying a home: saving for the down payment. It was my goal this year to save $4,000 to start my down payment fund, amounting to $333 a month. It was nearly impossible to hit that goal even once this year. It was an aggressive goal, but I’m estimating that I’d need to save at least $10,000 for a down payment (which is probably well below what I should be saving). Saving for a down payment when it’s just me and I can’t rely on another person’s income feels insurmountable. There are programs to help, of course, but it would depend on my income. I think I would be disqualified for many of them because my income is too high. (Which is laughable, but whatever.) Could I just start throwing a hundred dollars into a down payment fund every month and see where I am in a few years? I suppose so, but there are other reasons I don’t want to own a home.

2) The idea of every home repair being my responsibility fills me with anxiety.

You know what I love? Every time I need something repaired in my apartment, I call maintenance and it’s fixed within a few days. Water not draining from my tub as fast as it used to? Maintenance. The heating unit in my oven broke? Maintenance. The black furnace filter clogged up and caused the furnace to break down? Maintenance. Furnace maintenance.  My washer suddenly stopped working? Maintenance. My mom just had to replace her air conditioner. NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS later, she has a new air conditioner. My friend has some troublesome trees in her yard that need to be removed (lest they fall on her house). She was quoted TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS for the removal. These are extreme examples, but they are relevant. Being a homeowner can be very stressful and very expensive.

I am not a handy person by nature. House repairs are something that has to be added to the budget when you buy a home because things are going to break and you are responsible for fixing them. And being a single person, I don’t have a handy partner to share the burden with. It’s all on me, and that fills me with anxiety.

I’ve also been very lucky to have a reliable maintenance team anywhere I’ve lived (it helps that I usually rent from a leasing agency, not from a private owner). You know who’s not always reliable? Repairmen.

3) A house comes with so many more responsibilities.

I’m always shocked by the number of responsibilities that are involved in owning a home. If I owned a home, I’d need to pay for a lawn care service since I have no desire to take care of that on my own. I’d need to pay for pest control—something that’s already built into my rental price. I’d need homeowner’s insurance and flood insurance and property taxes, and probably other bills I’m forgetting about. None of these things are cheap. All of them cost money.

Plus, I know I would want to upgrade my home in the future. Ideally, I’d buy a home that wouldn’t require a ton of work upfront, but over the years, I’d want to upgrade it like any normal homeowner. A new kitchen or bathroom, new windows or flooring. All of that costs money.

It would be easier if I had a partner, but it’s just me. And all of that responsibility being on my shoulders feels overwhelming.

(A disclaimer here: Yes, I could buy a condo or townhome and things like lawn care service and pest control wouldn’t be necessary. But that would also come with an HOA fee, so there’s that to worry about.)

4) I have never desired homeownership.

I was listening to a podcast episode yesterday and the host asked the guest this question, “What are the things that, even if they are a smart decision, aren’t the right choice for you?” Bing, bang, boom. Yes. Buying property is a smart decision in many ways. Mortgage payments go toward building credit in a way that rent payments do not. Homeownership is one of the only ways to build generational wealth. But even if it is a smart decision for many people, it is not the right one for me. I have never desired homeownership. I do not want the responsibility of it. Perhaps if I had children, a partner, or heck, even big dogs, it would make sense. But in my little life, where it’s just me and my two cats, this is what feels good for me. And that’s really all that matters, at the end of the day.

If you’re a homeowner, what do you love about owning a home? If you’re a renter, what do you love about not owning a home?!

Categories: Life

Quarterly Budget Update | Q3 of 2022

Happy Wednesday, friends! It’s time for my quarterly budget update. Sometimes, I get very scared to publish these posts because I am the least frugal person ever and I know I am setting myself up to be judged. (A long time ago when I was writing budget posts, I had someone comment on how much I spent on toiletries and it put me off writing about my budget for years. But like… what a silly thing to get upset over!) But my budget is my budget, and I think it’s good to be honest about where our money is going and what our spending habits look like. Everyone spends money differently, and that’s okay! So, with all that said, here is my Q3 budget report!

Bills ($6,028; +$192 from Q2) – My bills category increased for the second quarter in a row, but it was mostly due to my renter’s insurance payment, which I pay yearly. It’s just under $200 for the year. And my electric bills are just sky high these days because it’s hot in Florida and I prioritize being comfortable in my home (I regularly keep my air conditioner around 71F) over saving money. Here’s how it all broke down:

  • Rent ($1,118 per month)
  • Electric (averaging $154 per month, which is an increase of $46 per month from Q2)
  • Phone bill ($109 per month)
  • Water ($48 per month)
  • Internet ($80 per month)
  • Student loan ($126 per month)
  • Car payment ($362 per month)

Food ($2,187; +$214 from Q2) – My food budget continues to frustrate me. I’m spending more than $100 per week on groceries and over $50 per week on Ubereats. I’m trying really hard not to order Ubereats as much (not that it shows!) but then I get into situations where I haven’t grocery shopped appropriately so I don’t have lunch or dinner options, so then I order something quick from Ubereats. It’s so convenient! And I’m paying for that convenience. Here’s how it broke down last quarter:

  • 57% in groceries ($419 per month)
  • 27% in Ubereats orders ($208 per month)
  • 6% in fast food ($47 per month)
  • 6% in Starbucks ($40 per month)
  • 2% in restaurants ($14 per month)

Auto ($831; +$647 from Q2) – This quarter included my biannual car insurance payment (which was also $112 more than I paid in February of this year, sigh). I spent a little less on gas ($114) and a little more on maintenance ($50, which included an oil change and tire rotation).

Savings ($750; -$200 from Q2) – Even though I put $200 less away in savings, I am still really happy that I was able to sock away a good amount of money this quarter. I set up automatic withdrawals to my savings accounts on Capital One so that the money leaves my account without me having to think about it.

Emergency ($602; +$602 from Q2) – I created a new category, “Emergency,” to place any expenses related to my evacuation. Hopefully this isn’t a category I have to use often! This category comprises the Airbnb, gas, an extra cat carrier, and extra food.

Shopping ($544; -$478 from Q2) – I continued my trend of spending less money on shopping than I did in Q1 and Q2. I put myself on a bit of a spending pause (aside from a $30 allowance every pay period) and it’s helping me get caught up on a credit card that I used way too much in Q2.

  • Tech – $210 (a new phone, a new phone case, a mic stand, and a robot vacuum*)
  • Books – $73 (8 books)
  • Clothing – $68 (two bras)
  • Beauty – $63 (a foundation brush, foundation, lipstick, headbands, foot mask, and nail polish)
  • Home – $57 (a tiny globe, a jewelry organizer, Command hooks, and some organizational containers)
  • Hobbies – $32 (two games)
  • Accessories – $20 (one necklace)
  • Office supplies – $18 (a planner and a blank notebook)

*The robot vacuum was $265 and I had saved up $225 to buy it. I only included the difference of what I hadn’t saved, not the whole price of the robot vacuum.

Health ($529; -$513 from Q2) – In Q3, I jumped down to monthly therapy rather than biweekly therapy, which saves me a cool $120 per month. I’m hoping that when I switch insurance plans next year, my therapy visits will be cheaper (I’m switching from an HMO plan to a PPO plan) and I can go more often. I really need to be going more than monthly, but it’s all I can afford right now.

Travel ($425; -$1,377 from Q2) – Q2 was a VERY expensive quarter for my travel category. Q3 was much better. I took a long weekend trip with two friends in Q3 but it was a pretty affordable vacation!

Pets ($378; +$235 from Q2) – I bought food ($44), treats ($24), toys ($88 – included their new fancy cat tower!), litter ($48), and a few supplies like a new water bowl and litter mat ($67). Eloise also had her annual check-up at the vet and got her rabies vaccination ($107).

Subscriptions ($291; -$13 from Q2) – I still feel like I’m spending way too much on my subscriptions, but as always, it’s hard to figure out what to cut out. This amounts to $97 per month.

Spa ($255; -$413 from Q2) – I canceled my massage membership this month so I only had to pay for one more month of that (I still have a handful of credits left that I’ll be using up over the next few months). I also got my hair cut!

Gifts ($217; +$106 from Q2) – Q3 includes my mom’s birthday, two friends’ birthdays, my brother’s birthday, and my older nephew’s birthday. There’s a lot going on!

Supplies/Toiletries ($208; +$47 from Q2) – I averaged around $69 per month on supplies/toiletries in Q3, and I’m happy with that!

Entertainment ($206; +$169 from Q2) – There was a lot more going on this quarter in my entertainment category. More plans with friends, more dinners out. Good job, me!

Holidays ($62; +$62 from Q2) – I bought some fun fall decor for my apartment. (Yes, I promise I will show you the decor soon!)

Charity ($39; -$11 from Q2) – Oof. I am very unhappy with myself for not donating the $50 per month to charity like I wanted to! I just got out of the habit. In 2023, I might make a goal to donate $150 per quarter to a charity of my choice rather than $50 to a different charity every month. It will probably be easier to do it all at once rather than trying to remember it on a monthly basis. Anyway, this quarter I bought some supplies from a friend’s Amazon wishlist for her classroom.

Final Thoughts

In Q2, I had 6 categories where I ended up spending more money than the previous quarter. And in Q3, I had 11 categories. Eesh! However, the overall monetary increase was less than in Q2. ($2,485 in Q3 vs $2,684 in Q2) And two of those increases (my emergency category and my biyearly car insurance payment) were out of my control expenditures, so I can’t be too upset about my spending this quarter.

I still want to really work on my food budget with the overall goal to keep it under $600 a month. Every quarter, I’m spending about $50-70 more money per quarter in my food budget. (Q1: $596 per month; Q2: $657 per month; Q3: $729 per month) I just need to be a better grocery shopper, honestly. Those Ubereats orders add up so quickly. One meal can easily cost $30 after fees and the tip for the driver.

One thing I am proud of is spending less money shopping. I have had to put myself on this self-imposed spending timeout because I got behind on credit card payments and started having to use more money from my savings than I wanted to. I had hoped I would be fully caught up by now but I’m not and that’s okay. I’ll get there!

What’s a purchase you made recently (big or small!) that brought you an inordinate amount of joy? For me, it’s the cat tower I bought for the girls. They love it so much!