I remember when I started writing this series. I thought to myself, is it even worth writing about? This is all going to go away within a few weeks, right? 

Oh, sweetie.

It’s now been four months since my last day in the office. Four months since I sat at lunch with friends and heard one of them say, “Oh, shit, COVID-19 is now a global pandemic.” Four months of social distancing and wearing face masks everywhere I go and worrying when normal life will resume.

Health experts have been eyeing Florida as the next potential epicenter for the last few weeks, and it appears we are here. We are constantly creating new statistics, like having the most cases in one day (15,300), and our governor is not doing a damn thing about it. COVID-19 shouldn’t be a partisan issue. I shouldn’t have to feel like all of this lack of action is due to having a Republican governor. And yet, the Republican party has made it a partisan issue. Our president refuses to wear a mask (except for one time and no, he does not get credit for that) and deal with the issue at hand. Instead, he’d rather talk about cancel culture and tearing down confederate statues than the fact that 138,000+ people have died from COVID-19.

Sometimes, I imagine how an actual empathetic and reasonable president would have handled this pandemic. I’m not even talking about a Democratic president! Just someone who would actually be saddened by so many deaths and want to help families who have lost loved ones.

I know I use a lot of these COVID-19 updates to discuss politics, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s hard to separate politics from the virus. They’re inextricably linked. If we had a competent administration, one that values science and facts (…and one that didn’t disband the pandemic response team), we could have controlled this virus early on. Trump knew what was coming, and he refused to do anything about it. That’s on him. That’s on Republicans.

It feels weird to be the state that’s in the news. Every breaking news alert about Florida makes my heart drop. It’s hard to believe where we are today versus where we were in early May. That’s when we started reopening, and we didn’t do it slowly. Nope – we opened restaurants, bars, bowling alleys, gyms, and movie theaters. It was full speed ahead. Sure, we had a “phased” reopening plan, but things in our first and second phases were way down in other state’s final phases.

Here’s what the past few weeks have looked like in my world:

WORK

• I continue to work from home and there’s currently no plan to bring employees back into the office. Originally, my company was going to open the office twice a week for up to 25 employees to come in and work (with all common areas shut down, including our break room). They are putting that plan on hold for now with the rise in cases. Apparently, about 40% of businesses in our office building are back in the office (which is staggering to me!), so I’m very glad that my company isn’t requiring that for us.
• Investing in a second screen has been LIFE-CHANGING for my work-from-home life. I can’t believe I spent three full months working remotely with just my laptop screen!

FRIENDS/FAMILY

• My family did a big get-together for the Fourth of July that I opted out of. I had a lot of FOMO about not being there, but I know I made the right choice. We had a big group this year (16 people, I think?) and I just had a strong feeling that social-distancing guidelines would be hard to follow. My Fourth of July was spent at home, keeping watch over the cats who were a bit bothered by all the fireworks.
• I haven’t seen any friends in months, except for a quick visit to one of my nearest and dearest to pick up some masks. She’s been sewing face masks for coworkers and friends, and I requested two—one for me and one for my mom. I loved the mask she made for me and I promptly asked for more. <3
• Family from Georgia came into town for the holiday and while I didn’t attend the big Fourth of July get-together, my mom, stepdad, and I went out to dinner with them while they were here. My plan was to wear my mask the whole time and not hug them buuuut that swiftly went out the window when I saw them and I had to give my beloved family a hug! Balancing risk vs reward can be tricky, but I do not regret seeing them.

PUBLIC OUTINGS

• I went to a restaurant for the first time in early July. And then promptly visited restaurants three more times. I really thought I would stay away from restaurants for a good long while, but there was a Friday night when I was helping my mom out by picking up my stepdad from his truck stop and he wanted to go out for dinner. So I acquiesced. And then there was dinner when my family was in town. And then visiting two restaurants during my mom’s birthday week. It’s not something I want to make a regular occurrence, but it happened and I feel fine about it. (And maaaaan, was it nice to have fresh bread delivered right to the table! Takeout bread is just not the same.)
• I had my first pedicure since February. My mom has been wanting one, and I decided her birthday was the perfect time to do it. I felt very safe at the nail salon I visited. A friend had gone there and reported back that she felt really safe while there (she’s being even more cautious than I am, so I felt really good about it). lt was super nice to have all the dead skin on my feet sloughed off, haha, and my toenails painted. The salon was huge and everyone was spaced out. We were seated at two chairs in the corner with three chairs between us and a set of friends. I was really happy with my experience!
• I’ve started visiting more retail stores—visits to Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond. I foresee more shopping dates like this over the next month or two as I prepare for my move. It is what it is. I always wear my mask and try not to touch too many surfaces.

MENTAL HEALTH

• My anxiety has felt fairly manageable over the past few weeks, and I am so very thankful for that. I have been feeling little moments of despair here and there, which is natural. Everything feels very out of control right now and it’s hard to predict what’s going to happen next. (Well, other than cases exploding even more if we don’t start to shut things down.)
• My sleep has been all sorts of jacked up ever since I started staying at home. It’s a combination of too much caffeine and not enough Vitamin D, I think. I’m not moving around as much or getting outside in the sunshine as much as I used to. I’ve implemented a system of cutting off caffeine by 3pm every day and spending at least 10 minutes outside in the middle of the day. It’s helping! My sleep has definitely improved, especially with the caffeine goal. I always forget how much it affects me until I begin to limit it.

MISC

• I am really glad I don’t have to worry about the upcoming school year. I see teachers and parents on my social media timelines fretting about what to do, and I really feel for them. Parents in my school district can choose to send their children to school or do digital learning, but what a hard choice to make. My brother and his wife have made the decision to keep my nephews home for this school year, which means my sister-in-law will undertake the arduous task of working from home while making sure a five- and 11-year-old do their schoolwork. Oy vey. I also highly sympathize with teachers who are worrying about the upcoming school year and what it will look like for them. Teaching during a pandemic is not something anyone is prepared for!
• My library books are still in transit. I don’t think I’m ever going to get them, ha. It’s been six weeks since I requested them and I guess they will forever be in transit. Is it because I have a $1 fine??? 😉 Oh, well. I’ve got plenty of other reads to keep me busy for the time being.

How are you holding up? What’s it like where you are?

So here we are. Florida is one of the states seeing significant increases in COVID-19 cases and looks to be the next epicenter. We hit a record-high of 5,000+ cases two days in a row (Wednesday and Thursday), which is astonishing. What’s even more astonishing is that our governor is still not willing to do anything about this. He continues to insist it’s due to increased testing, which is just not factual at all. I try to check this database at least once a day to see how things are going in my county and what the ICU bed availability looks like. (28, as of Thursday night.)

Thankfully, the county I live in now has a mandatory mask ordinance in place. I’m glad we have sensible officials in our local government! All of Florida should be under this ordinance since wearing masks is the best way to prevent community spread, but alas. At least I can feel good knowing that whenever I go to the grocery store, everyone else will be wearing masks. (And I really feel for the workers who have to enforce this rule with shoppers. I know there are plenty of people who won’t like the rule, sigh.)

My family is planning this big Fourth of July party, as some family members will be in town and everyone wants to get together. At first, we were thinking about doing it at a park but now we’re planning to have it at a condo on the beach. There will be a lot of us (around 20 people, maybe?!) and I think I’m going to have to be the party pooper who doesn’t attend. I just don’t feel comfortable about it, and I hope my family understands, but even if they don’t, that’s okay. I have to do what feels right for me.

I’ve had a lot of anxiety lately, much more than normal. I’ve been in a really good place with my mental health for about the past year, so it always feels defeating when my anxiety rises to unmanageable levels. I think it all stems from the trajectory this pandemic has taken for my state. Not only are our case numbers rising, but the median age of a coronavirus patient is dramatically lower—37 years old. Normal life seems like a state of mind. Was there really a time when I could walk into a packed spin class and not blink an eye at being seated less than a foot away from people?

I think I’m also feeling rather sad about having nothing to look forward to. There are no vacations on the horizon or fun plans to anticipate. I’m trying to save my vacation days to take a good chunk of time off around my move. Even though the move won’t be too crazy since I’m moving within my complex, it will still be nice to have a lot of time to pack and unpack and get the girls used to the new setting. I’m trying to take off one day per month, too, as a mental health day. That helps! I took a Wednesday off in June and basically did nothing but read and sleep, and it was divine. I planned to go to the pool, but it rained all afternoon. I’m taking off a day next month to celebrate my mom’s birthday with her, so that will be nice. 🙂

And, hopefully, I can plan a getaway in the fall. Something within driving distance, of course. Maybe it’s time to visit Savannah again? I love that city so much, goodness.

As I mentioned last week, my company announced plans for reopening the office. They’re doing it in phases and this first phase is completely voluntary. The office will only be open on Tuesdays and Thursdays, only 25 employees can be in the office at one time, and the office will be thoroughly sanitized before and after each workday. While I don’t have any plans to go into the office to work, I am hoping to schedule a time to pick up some of the stuff from my desk. Like my wireless computer mouse and my cat calendar and my big Tervis water cup. When I left in mid-March, I had no idea I wouldn’t be back for such a long time! It’s crazy when I think about it. There were also some discussions about continuing a mostly remote work-from-home program once things return to “normal.” I would be required to come into the office once or twice a month for team meetings and such, and that sounds great to me.

In other good news, I finally got my washer fixed! I felt comfortable enough having the maintenance man come in and look at it (he wore a mask), and turns out, I needed an entirely new washer/dryer! My new one is super fancy with a touch screen and lots of bells and whistles, and it makes me less anxious to move out of this apartment, haha. It’s so exciting!

I’m still keeping pretty isolated in my day-to-day life. I did go to TJ Maxx once and Target twice, but that’s about it. I’m still not going to the gym or restaurants, and still not seeing friends. My circle remains my mom, stepdad, brother, and older nephew. I haven’t seen my girlfriends since we did a socially distanced book club meeting at the end of May, and it makes my heart ache. I miss them so much! But it’s also hard to know what sorts of activities would be ok to do, you know? And being outside isn’t all that pleasant right now in Florida between the intense heat and mosquitoes. Ugh.

In other news, I’m still waiting on the books I requested from the library. Four of the books I requested have been “in transit” for more than two weeks now. Whew. To be clear, this isn’t a complaint and I know my library system is doing its best right now. Just an observation. I know they’re dealing with a backlog and I’m assuming they’re quarantining any materials they get in for 14 days, so perhaps my time is coming soon. I’ll be patient! I’ve got enough reading material to keep me busy anyway, between my own bookshelves (both print and Kindle!) and Libby. I’ll be fiiiiine. 🙂

So that’s where I’m at right now. There’s a lot happening, and it all feels very scary and overwhelming at times. But I have to remember to stay present and not worry about what could happen in the future. Yes, Florida is most likely COVID-19’s next epicenter, but all that means for me is spending more time at home with my kitties. And is that really such a bad thing?

As I write this post on June 11, Florida has reported more than 11,000 new coronavirus cases and 350 deaths this month alone. It’s staggering. It’s tragic. It’s terrifying.

It’s hard to know if cases are going up because we reopened so early and so chaotically, or if it’s because more widespread testing is available, including at nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Maybe both factors are at play. But it can’t be stressed enough that this pandemic is not over. I see less and less people following proper social distancing guidelines and wearing masks when in public. A friend told me that her five-year-old was invited to a friend’s pool party. (!!!) Not to mention, the Republican National Convention is going to be held in Florida (biggest eyeroll ever) and you know Trump is going to want that center filled to the brim.

I’ve been hemming and hawing lately about getting a pedicure and a massage. Both are silly things to worry about when we’re in the midst of a global pandemic and racial justice movement, I know, but man, do I miss both of them. My feet are a wreck and my body feels stiff without the release of massage. I wanted to wait to see if case numbers increased after we reopened our stores and restaurants and salons, and now that I see the staggering numbers for June, I’m glad I waited. (I don’t regret getting my hair done because I felt like my salon took the right steps to protect their employees and guests. My next appointment isn’t until mid-July and I’ll reassess when the date is closer.)

The company I work for sent out a survey about our work-from-home program. As of right now, there is a target date of July 6th to start bringing people back into the office on a voluntary basis. I am really not interested in going back to the office, both because of the pandemic and because I enjoy working from home so very much. I really hope I can transition to a full-time remote worker. I’d love that. I’d be also open to coming into the office one day a week, but nothing more than that. But if I do transition to remote work, I really want to get a regular desktop computer with two monitors. Working off my laptop is fine, but not a long-term solution.

Speaking of computers, I’m still waiting for my replacement keyboard to come in. Argh! It was supposed to be shipped to the repair shop within 3-5 days, and now it’s been 10 days! Thankfully, I bought a wireless keyboard when this whole mishap happened, hoping I could hook it up to my laptop and use it. It didn’t work the first time I tried it, but I randomly decided to give it another go and IT WORKED. So now I can use my laptop (and have access to my work VPN!) and I am GLORIOUSLY HAPPY. Working on a tiny, outdated Chromebook was miserable. And I feel less crazed about getting my keyboard fixed. Yay!

In super exciting news, my library system is now allowing us to place holds again! I think they have been doing curbside pickup for a few weeks now (maybe for stuff that was placed on hold before the pandemic hit?), but now we actually have the ability to place holds and pick them up. Once my holds are ready, I’ll call the library to select a time slot to come by and pick them up (curbside, of course). I put five books on hold once I heard the news! I’m just excited to get back to my “normal” way of reading and not have to rely on my Kindle so much. This pandemic has shown me that I prefer a good ratio of print books and e-books. 50/50 at least, but more like 70/30. My ratio during the pandemic has been 30% print and 70% e-book and whew, I am ready for that to change!

I went to the beach last week, which is out of the norm for me even when not in a pandemic. Last Friday was a hard day (my dad’s birthday) so my mom took the afternoon off to spend time with me, which was so lovely. We decided to venture to the beach for a few hours and it worked out perfectly. It was overcast so the beach was not crowded at all and everyone was pretty far apart from one another. There were a few large groups, but nothing over 10 people. (It also made me realize: We should always sit at least 6 feet apart from people at the beach! Like, it’s crazy to me to not do that, pandemic or not. Get out of my bubble!)

I’m still so weirded out by this new reality of mask-wearing, even though I am 100% pro-mask. It’s just so strange, you know? To be searching Etsy for masks and to get in my mom’s car to see three masks hanging off her gear shift and to drive down the road to see someone wearing a mask while waiting for the bus. They’ve become so normal, yet they still feel so abnormal. I feel kindred spirits with people who choose to wear their masks and eye-roll-y at those who don’t. (And yes, I understand that wearing a mask isn’t possible for everyone and that there are real safety concerns for Black people wearing masks.) But I think most people just can’t be bothered, and that’s really unfortunate.

That’s where things stand with me and the state of coronavirus in Florida right now. It’s not looking good, but I’ll keep updating my notebook with new numbers and crossing my fingers we start to see improvements soon.