Life – Page 40

Categories: Life

Why I’m Moving in with a Roommate

Originally, I had no plans to move in with someone. I wanted my own place where I didn’t have to share a single thing with anybody. In my head, this sounded fantastic. I wrote out a budget for myself and started doing a little apartment hunting to see if I could find something that met all of my needs.

But alas, here I am, a month or so away from finally moving out, and instead of moving to my own place, I’m moving in with a roommate. At age 27. I think it’s around this point when people, if they’re single, decide to get out of the roommate rat race and into a place of their own. And yet… though I thought I wanted that for myself… I am supremely happy with my decision to live with a roommate.

Here’s why.

1. I don’t like living alone.

I like being alone. I like alone time. But I do not like living alone. It’s lonely. It’s confining. I get freaked out that someone is going to break into my apartment and murder me in my sleep. I just don’t feel safe living alone. I have a very active imagination, and even though I live in a gated, very safe apartment community right now, I still get freaked out at night when my mom’s away.

Don’t get me wrong – I do like those weekends when she’s away and I have the place to myself. It is nice. And I’ll definitely have that with Roomie because she travels a lot, visits family and friends, and has a super active social life. So there will be many nights and weekends when I am alone.

But I just don’t think I want a 24/7 living-alone arrangement. At least right now.

2. Rent ain’t cheap, yo!

First, I want to make it clear that I don’t live with my mom rent-free. I haven’t since I graduated college and started working at a “big girl” job. I’ve been contributing to our household bills for a very long time, and also have my own bills, like car insurance, phone, car loan, etc. Basically – I know how to live financially independent of my mom. Just because I live with her doesn’t mean I’m living off her. (I believe most of my family thinks this of me, so I just wanted to clear this up right here.)

So it’s really nice to be able to split my bills up. To not have the burden of rent or utilities on my own. When I started looking at one-bedroom apartments that fit my needs (i.e., safe community, pet friendly, washer/dryer included, etc.), I started to realize I would have to live at the top of my budget. So I was stressed about being able to afford to live on my own. And stressed about having to forfeit some of my apartment needs to find a cheaper place.

Enter Roomie. With her, I can live in a place that meets my needs (and hers, of course!) and all the bills will be split down the middle. It relieved so much stress off my shoulders and, through our searching, we’ve been able to find places that are beautiful and updated, but also keep us at the lower end of our budget.

3. A roommate equals a built-in buddy.

Well, probably not always, and probably not if you don’t get along with your roomie (as happened to me in college), but in a sense, having a roommate means I’ll have someone to do stuff with. Living alone means I would have to really be diligent about reaching out to friends (something I need to be doing anyway, I know) to ensure I don’t spend entire weekends curled up at home, watching Netflix. Which, as mentioned in Monday’s blog post, is what I’m most wont to do. My roomie is definitely an extrovert and someone who thrives on a busy schedule, and living with her will force me to get out more and be more social. And it will be nice to have someone to come home to, in a sense. Someone to share dog duties with. Someone to cook with, watch TV with, be goofy with. I have that with my mom and it’s just so darn nice. It really is. I would really miss the built-in buddy part if I lived alone.

4. I’m moving in with one of my best friends – not a stranger or someone I barely know.

While all of the above points are true and big reasons that factored into my having a roommate, this point is the biggest factor. I am not sure I would have considered moving in with anyone else – in fact, having a roommate wasn’t even on my radar until I met Bri last June and formed a deep bond with her. We clicked instantly and even though we are very different in some ways, we are also so eerily similar. And she’s just so darn easy to be around. She makes me feel better, just by being around her. I’m so looking forward to having her bright spirit in my everyday life.

I would not have considered a roommate situation with a stranger or a casual acquaintance. I tried that once, and it ended up terribly, and I would never do it again. The main reason I am moving in with Bri is because I think living with her will be such a positive experience because she is someone I know and love.

And, so, there you have it. Perhaps one day I will live alone, but it just doesn’t feel like the right time for me right now. I have fears about what these next few months will hold, but I also have a ton of excitement and anticipation. A roommate situation isn’t for everyone, but I think it can be a positive experience in the right circumstances and I’m willing to take the chance on that.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give for living with a roommate?

Categories: Life

Reviewing the Second Quarter of the Year

top left photo credit

And just like that, the first half of 2015 is over. I’ve both loved and loathed this year. For the most part, it’s been a great one. I’ve been able to travel. I’ve helped my mom plan her wedding. And I’ve really taken the time to let myself be. There have been low moments. Moments where my anxiety overwhelms me. Moments where I worry I’m not doing enough with my life. Moments where I get so scared for the future that it’s hard to breathe. C’est la vie, right?

In any event, we’re done with two quarters of the year and, as I did for Q1, I wanted to take the time to reflect on what was good and challenging in Q2, and make some goals for Q3.

Q2 Review – The Highlights

Going on my seventh cruise

I had such a wonderful time on my cruise in mid-May. It wasn’t the perfect cruise, but it just felt really good to get away from reality. I got to spend time in the Bahamas again as well as three new-to-me islands (St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, and Grand Turk). I’m already looking forward to my next cruise!

Chopping off my hair

I’m so glad I took the plunge and went back to a bob. I ended up taking 9 inches off and it has been such a delightful change. My hair feels so much more manageable now and getting ready in the morning takes no time at all!

Helping my mom plan her wedding

It has been really fun helping my mom plan her wedding! We hadn’t done much in the way of planning until we got back from our cruise. Since we knew the wedding would be small (originally, we were thinking around 15-20 people, but the guest list has since grown to be closer to 30) and we wouldn’t need to book a fancy hall for the ceremony or reception, we managed to tackle all the to-dos in these last two months. Every weekend, we’ve had different wedding tasks to complete (such as: taking engagement photos and designing the invitations, scoping out the perfect area in downtown St. Petersburg for the small ceremony, finding my mom’s wedding dress and my maid-of-honor dress… things like that). All that’s left is to put together wedding favors and do all the day-of getting ready and setup! I honestly cannot wait!

Helping with my mom’s surprise bridal shower

My mom’s work BFF (who is actually going to be the officiant at the wedding!) put this whole surprise bridal shower together, and she did a fantastic job. Not only did she most of the decorating and planning, but she also helped everyone keep mum about the whole event, so my mom was super shocked. I was so touched to be included in the festivities and it makes me so incredibly happy that my mom has such a great support system at her work. She deserves it all!

Meeting Emilie

I had such a fun afternoon in Downtown Disney with Emilie and her fiance, Pete. From the get-go, it felt like I was hanging out with old friends, not people I had just met! But that’s the way it goes with blogging friends, eh? It was quite wonderful to meet them!

Q2 Review – The Challenges

Spraining my ankle

Oh, it’s just no fun at all to get injured while on vacation. Spraining my ankle during my zip-lining and hiking excursion in Puerto Rico turned what was a super fun excursion at the start into my personal version of hell. Luckily, the tour guides were super nice and helpful once I told them about my injury, even helping me down some of the more treacherous terrains. Since then, my ankle has just been very tender. I can walk on it fine now, but stepping down onto that foot or walking downstairs still causes shooting pain. Hopefully, I’ll be 100% soon!

Dealing with a sick pup

My poor Dutchie-Boy. As I mentioned previously, Dutch has been dealing with a bad UTI. After three weeks on medication, he was still not getting better so last week, he went back to the vet. This time, he had blood work done and another urinalysis. His blood work came back normal, but his urinalysis showed signs that he still has a UTI. SIGH! The vet sent him home with two new types of antibiotics to get rid of the bacteria causing the UTI. (He’s also on new food + a probiotic to help with some stomach pain the vet noticed.) I am just hoping and praying this gets rid of the UTI for good because I hate that he’s still suffering!

Eating healthy

It’s been such a struggle. It just hasn’t been easy to summon the motivation to cook healthier meals, eat out less, and do everything else that falls into eating better. But something has to give because I’m tired of not feeling good – both inside and out. I’m hoping a combination of using MyFitnesspal more regularly and going low-carb will get me to where I want to be.

Q2 Review – The Goals

I set five goals for myself to complete in Q2. Let’s review them!

Refinance my auto loan

Check! I have been working with an advisor at my bank to refinance my auto loan and we’re in the final stages of it now. I’m just so happy that I finally got this done!

Schedule an appointment with a therapist.

Incomplete. And I really, really need to start seeing a therapist. I must make this a priority in Q3.

Launch a brand-new blog theme.

Check! And I love it so!

Make a decision on an apartment.

Incomplete. My move-out date has been pushed back to possibly August, maybe September. I’m okay with it, though! With all of Dutch’s recent vet visits, saving money has not been possible so I’m not really ready financially to move out. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be writing my Q3 review from a South Tampa address. Squee!

Start writing fiction again.

Incomplete. I haven’t been able to get into the habit of it. Maybe I need to give myself some sort of word count or time goal? Hmm.

Looking ahead to Q3 (July, August, and September)

As I did last quarter, I want to set five achievable long-term-ish goals for this quarter. While I still love the purpose behind setting yearly intentions, it’s nice to break those intentions up into smaller goals to strive for. So, without further ado, here are the goals I want to accomplish in Q3:

Move to South Tampa
Start therapy
Lose 15 lbs
Take a social media and blogging break
Start writing fiction again

What were the highlights of Q2 for you?

Categories: Life

Let’s Talk about Book Clubs

A few weeks ago, in the comment section of my book review post, Kathleen requested I write a post on my book club. I feel like I talk about my book club a lot on this blog, but I don’t go into many specifics. So, today, if you’ll indulge me, let’s talk about book clubs.

on joining

My start to this book club was a little rocky. And mostly due to my own silly insecurities. Originally, I planned to join in January 2011. After searching on Meetup.com, I found a young women’s book club and it sounded perfect for me. So, I joined and even read the book pick for the month, but the day of the meeting, I panicked and bowed out. I just… got scared. Worried about what people would think of me. Going to a social event on my own is terrifying for me and I couldn’t get past my own insecurities at that time.

Nearly two years later, I summoned the courage to try again. It was the exact same book club, but it had a new leader, Amber, who is the nicest and most welcoming person I’ve ever met. I ended up joining around the time Amber was hosting a new members’ get-together. It would just be a few new people who wanted to join the club and some long-time book club members, getting together at a restaurant downtown for drinks and tapas. It was honestly the best situation for me as I got to “join” in a low-key setting and get to know some of the members before I attended my first meeting.

My first actual book club meeting was in October of 2012 and it went so wonderfully! We met at a restaurant, and it was a small group, which was perfect for me. And from then on, I’ve been a book club regular!

our meetings

Like most book clubs, we meet once a month and we pick a date based on everyone’s schedules. Sometimes it’s a midweek dinner, other times it’s a Friday night or Sunday morning brunch.

If we choose a date during the week, usually we’ll meet at a restaurant for a few hours because schedules are busy and we all need to get home in a timely manner.

If we choose a Friday night, we’ll usually try to pair it with a fun outing. We’ll meet at a restaurant to eat a good meal and talk about the book, and then drive over to another location for some fun. Some of the things we’ve done: laser tag, bowling, shuffleboard, and playing games at a brewery downtown.

During the summer months, we’ll often schedule “brunch book club by the pool” where everyone comes to my pool on Sunday morning for brunch potluck, mimosas, and pool time! It’s so much fun and usually my favorite type of book club we have!

So anyway, we definitely don’t stick to any one type of book club outing. We like to keep things interesting and it honestly just feels like a “girls’ night out” than the type of book club most people expect. And I love that! 🙂

discussing books

Another way we might not be like a typical book club is with our discussions. We don’t have in-depth discussions about the books we choose. I know some people like to discuss themes and literary plot devices, but we prefer to just chat about how we felt while reading the book. Sometimes, if a book we read comes with a discussion guide, we’ll answer a few questions from that. Generally, though, we just like to discuss different plot points and our reactions to them. We don’t tend to pick super literary books, anyway, but more “feel good” books, which are more fun to discuss thoughts and feelings than literary themes.

choosing books

We have a few parameters for choosing our monthly read:

It can’t be one someone has already read. We like to have the reading experience together!
Ideally, it will be a book two or more of us have marked as “to-read” on Goodreads.
Ideally, it will have a rating of 3.5 stars or higher on Goodreads.
It has to have multiple copies available at the library. (Nearly all of us are library users, so we run into problems if the book has a long waiting period or is completely unavailable. This also means we don’t read popular books, so we haven’t read The Girl on the Train or All the Light We Cannot See as a group.)

Typically, Amber comes to our meeting with a few book ideas, and sometimes, some of us will also have some options. We’ll read aloud the book synopsis from Goodreads and then decide collectively if we think the book will be a good fit. It usually doesn’t take us very long to pick a book, and we tend to choose cute YA novels, engaging thrillers, or women’s lit.

new members

We don’t regularly take new members. We no longer have our group listed on Meetup.com (Amber actually took it down the month after I joined – glad I joined when I did!) Our group now exists in a private Facebook group.

Nearly all of us are introverts, so we like keeping our meetings small. Having 10-12 members at a meeting starts to feel overwhelming. But every now and then, we’ll do a “bring a friend to book club” meeting if we feel like we need to add new faces and new personalities to the group. That’s actually how my BFF Bri started attending!

special events

We like to do something special at least once a year to celebrate the book club’s anniversary. In 2013, five of us went on a two-day weekend cruise, and in 2014, we took the Ghost Tour of St. Petersburg. This year, we’re thinking about spending a weekend in Orlando for the Food & Wine Festival!

Other than that, we’ll get together for dinner every now and then. We had a 90s gift exchange for Christmas last year. A few of us got together to carve pumpkins last October. I’ll meet up with Amber for lunch since we work near one another. A book club friend and I started meeting up for writing dates. We all met up for a painting date for a friend’s birthday. Things like that!

We have so much fun together. They are more than just my “book club girls,” but some of my closest friends and favorite people. Growing up, I didn’t have friends who really understood me, or even really accepted me for who I was. These girls are my people. They get me. I never knew that I could find people who accepted me as I was, and let me be my neurotic, weird, crazy self. I love these girls with my whole heart and I’m so glad I took a chance on joining this group. It’s been one of the best decisions of my life.

Do you belong to a book club? How does it differ from mine?

Categories: Life

The Tampa Bay Project #2: Visit the Dali Museum

I haven’t been making much progress on The Tampa Bay Project. In fact, all I’ve managed to mark off is visiting some local restaurants and taking the Ghost Tour of St. Petersburg. But I wrote this list with no pressure on crossing everything off at any specific time. I just wanted to have a running list of “things to do” around town.

This past Saturday, though, I had the chance to cross an item off this list: visiting the Dali Museum. I asked my soon-to-be-roomie Bri if she’d like to visit it with me and she gave a resounding “YES!”

I’ll admit that I didn’t know too much about Salvador Dali before going to the museum. I knew he made some… wacky… paintings, so I figured I was in for a treat.

Dali was a Spanish surrealist painter, born in 1904 in Spain. Though his father wanted him to go into business, art was his passion and I’d say he made the right call about choosing this path over the more traditional one. He was an eccentric man who lived an extravagant lifestyle. He also produced more than 1,500 paintings in his lifetime! Can you imagine? That’s absolutely nuts. That takes so much passion and dedication and hard work.

(I loved his descriptions of his paintings!)

There was really so much to see at this museum! I think we spent over two hours there, slowly walking through all the different exhibits. As one would expect, there is a permanent collection of Dali’s work, but there are also other exhibits rotating throughout the museum.

One such exhibit was “Dali Revealed,” which was a selection of 48 photographs taken by photographer Robert Descharnes. I loved seeing the candid shots of Dali and his wife, Gala, and just getting this tiny glimpse into the way he made his paintings. He seemed like such an interesting man, and these photographs capture his personality perfectly.

Another exhibit we saw was “Dali & Da Vinci: Minds, Machines & Masterpieces.” This exhibit showcased more than 75 works and reproductions, including some of the reproductions both Dali and da Vinci proposed during their time (some of which became a reality and others that did not). It basically showcased how these two artists used mathematics and invention to bring about some of their most famous works.

Lastly, one of my favorite exhibits was the “Student Surrealist Art Exhibits” in which students in grades 6-12 throughout Florida submitted their take on surrealism. The students used pen, pencil, colored pencils, digital photography, acrylic paint, and more to create amazing works of art. I mean, some of these students were 12 years old and creating incredibly detailed and amazing pieces. I am not an artist in the least, and stuff like this impresses me so much. Kudos to the kids! (And how amazing would it be to have your artwork displayed in a museum at the age of 12?!)

The Dali Museum also has a garden area, which featured an enormous mustache (reminiscent of Dali’s own fab mustache!). It’s the perfect photo op, don’t you think?!

In any event, it was a really fun afternoon spent with my friend. (It also happened to be our friend-aversary, as we had our first lady date this weekend a year ago! We’re adorable, is what I’m saying.) I’m really happy I got to visit the Dali Museum because it’s been a really long time since I’ve visited an art museum.

Do you like visiting art museums?

Categories: Life

Around Here

Thanks Kathleen for the post idea!

Around here I’m adjusting to a new hairstyle. I’ve wanted to do a drastic change to my hair for a while now. Once my hair reaches a certain length, it just starts looking stringy and dull. While it’s full and thick when it’s short, it gets very thin and fine the longer I grow it out. So, I took the plunge and cut 9 inches off my hair on Friday. I am so pleased with the change! It’s the perfect cut for summer!

Around here my mom and I are in the final stages of wedding planning. Her wedding is in three weeks and we’re planning a small, intimate gathering. I think we’re expecting to have around 30 people total. My mom and her fiance will be married at a spot in Downtown St. Petersburg, and then we’re going to a casual steakhouse for the reception. Over the past few weeks, invitations were sent out, the wedding dress was purchased, the cake was ordered, supplies for wedding favors were bought, a photographer was acquired, and the ceremony was written. It’s almost time!

Around here I’ve been dealing with a sick pup. He contracted a bad UTI while we were away and then, after two weeks on medicine to make him better, he started getting ill in the mornings. One morning, he got ill SIX TIMES before 6am. Thinking it was the medicine, I took him off it for a few days and he got better immediately. (He did get ill two more times after going off the medicine, but after-effects, maybe?) Right now, I’m keeping a close eye on him and if I notice him not acting like himself, it’s back to the vet we go!

Around here I’m slowly healing from my sprained ankle. I still have to walk downstairs slowly because there’s a certain way my foot lands that causes shooting pain. But generally, my ankle is fine. I’m exercising again, but taking it easy. Lots of interval rides on the stationary bike and I’m doing some upper-body strength training. I tried using the elliptical a couple of weeks ago and my ankle was in pain afterward, so I’m nervous to get back on it! I’m being cautious, but it’s definitely about 90% healed.

Around here I’ve been working on refinancing my car loan – and I got approved! I don’t know all the details just yet, but getting this done has taken a weight off my shoulders. And it’s really gratifying to see my hard work in improving my credit score is paying off.

Around here I’ve been really struggling with healthy eating. My schedule has been a bit wacky lately (this week, I’ll only be home one night!), which makes it hard for me to stick to a healthy diet. I haven’t been meal planning quite like I need to, and I can’t remember the last time I actually cooked something. (Unless boxed mac and cheese counts?) I keep waiting for my schedule to quiet down, but this just seems to be my new normal. I need to figure something out because I’m stuck at an unhappy weight and it’s driving me crazy.

Around here my roomie-to-be and I are still searching for a place to live. Our move-in date is scheduled for late July, but it is looking like it could be August instead. Which I’m totally fine with! The lease I have with my mom at our current apartment isn’t up until November, so I have plenty of time. We’ve decided to look in South Tampa for a rental, which is a… hipper… part of the city. It’s not necessarily my scene, but I’m willing to give it a try, as long as we find a place in my price range. Since many of the rentals in South Tampa are privately owned, many work on 30-day notices, so even if we found something today, it most likely wouldn’t be available by the end of July. So! We shall see what happens.