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Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

The Month of August

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August was a wonderful month. It was a slow month, but also a month of big decisions, new experiences, and tons and tons of time spent lounging lazily reading.

Disconnecting from my blog and the Internet as a whole was exactly what I needed. I needed to get away from blogging and social media, to let it all go for just a little while. I will admit, at a certain point, I began to feel weird, so cut off from what was going on in people’s lives. As I added my social media apps back onto my phone yesterday, I felt as if I was entering this unknown world. I felt awkward as I scrolled through Twitter and Instagram once again. In due time, it’ll become second nature for me. It always does.

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We’re two days into September already. We’re a mere eight days away from the kick-off to the NFL season and I’m sure Halloween costumes and candy will be littering the aisles of Target soon enough. Before we know it, we’ll be eating Thanksgiving dinner, decorating for Christmas, and singing holiday songs. This year is passing by in a blink of an eye, but that’s just how it goes. I’m just trying to be present and open to what each day has for me.

Early into August, my roommate and I signed a lease! After losing out on some privately owned condos in South Tampa, we decided to rent from an apartment community. We move next weekend, so August has been a flurry of decluttering, packing, shopping for the new place, and saving up for move-in costs. I have many emotions surrounding this move, which I’ll be talking more about next week.

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I celebrated two years at my job last month. I can’t believe it’s been two whole years, and that I still love what I do just as much as I did when I started. Like any job, it has its low points, but generally, I love it. It helps that the work environment is healthy and motivating and that I work with wonderful people who are fun to be around. I had an informal annual review, which was more of a discussion where I could ask questions and give feedback on their processes. It’s truly a joy working at this company and I cannot wait to see what lies ahead in year three!

After more than two months of having a UTI, Dutch is back to his normal self. It was really in August when he seemed to be back to his usual perkiness. He’s not having accidents in the house anymore, though we have been careful to take him out more often. (And, sometimes, that entails waking up at 4 a.m. on a Saturday, which is totes fun.) Last week, he went to the vet for a dental cleaning and his biannual comprehensive exam. He passed his comprehensive with flying colors, and it makes me so happy to know that he is healthy again and not dealing with the pain of a bad UTI. That was such a low point of my year!

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Other happenings in August: Dutch and I walked in a race, which was fun even if the race was a little unorganized. I met up with my friend Amber to participate in a Home Depot workshop, where we got to make a decorative shelf (and it was completely free! Score!). And my writing partner and I started meeting weekly to work on our novels. We hadn’t made the time for it in a very long time, so it’s been fun to get together for a few hours on the weekend and have dedicated time to work on my novel.

All in all, August was good to me. I loved my time away from the Internet, but I was also counting down the days when I could return to it. I missed it so much more than I thought I would, especially blogging. While I needed the time away to reconnect with myself and make some big plans for my life and this blog, letting it go for a little while made me realize how much I love it and what a big part of my everyday life it is. I’m so very happy to be back.

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Tell me something good that happened for you in August!

Categories: Life

Rest

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In 2012 and 2013, I took a month-long social media and blogging break. I did it in 2012 because my heart had been broken and I needed the time away to just sit in the sadness for a little while without the distraction of social media. Social media is noisy and filled with people giving their opinions on what to think, say, do, feel. I needed to get away from the noise so I could just be.

I enjoyed my break so much that I decided to take another one the following year. I didn’t take a break in 2014, but I decided early this year that I wanted to take one in 2015. August has always seemed like the right month because stuff happens this month. 2012 was the heartbreak, 2013 was starting a new job, and hopefully, 2015 is moving to a new city.

I’m really looking forward to the time away. I’m not necessarily addicted to social media. I scroll through my feeds a few times a day, but I don’t update them as much as I used to. I use Instagram the most, and sometimes I feel pressure with it to make sure I don’t get too behind on my feed. So this break isn’t needed because I’m too addicted to social media. I’m not at all. I just like the idea of forcing myself to completely get away. Of taking off the apps on my phone and not using social media as a distraction when I’m sitting at a red light or waiting in line or watching TV. Plus, social media is so noisy and so opinionated and sometimes makes me feel bad about myself or my life… so these month-long breaks are so good for my soul.

What I’m really excited about, though, is taking a break from blogging. I love my blog and I love writing posts, but it takes a lot of work. I probably spend around 5-10 hours a week on this blog, which isn’t a lot, but it kinda is to spend on a passion project that actually costs me money rather than gives me any. I do it because I love it, but it’s also something that burns me out easily. And I just need the time away from the writing and the planning and the documenting. To do things for the sake of doing them, and not worry about how to spin them into a blog post.

So, here we go. One month away from social media and blogging. I’m so ready for this.

Categories: Life

My Favorite Podcasts (Round 2)

Prepare yourselves, friends! Today’s post is going to be a long one, but it’s one I’ve been wanting to write for a long time. As I’ve mentioned before, I am a voracious listener of podcasts. I started listening around February or March of last year, and it’s an obsession. Currently, I have 26 shows that I am subscribed to and I can only see that list growing and growing. I wanted to take the time to recommend some of my favorites to you guys, just in case you a) want to start listening to more podcasts but aren’t sure where to begin, or b) are as obsessive about podcasts as me and want more shows to add to your feed. I’ve broken these down by categories, so enjoy!

Interview-style podcasts

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> The Lively Show: Blogger Jess Lively interviews guests all about their lives and work, with an emphasis on intentional living. She has an eclectic mix of guests (the variety has been even better in the second season, which I appreciate) so she’s not just interviewing bloggers and creatives, but also business leaders, authors, and nutritionists. Her interviewing style is unique, which is what I love about this podcast. I take away something to reflect on from each episode.

> Death, Sex & Money : Host Anna Sale interviews famous people and regular people about their thoughts on – you guessed it! – death, sex, and money. (As the tagline says: “the things we think about a lot, and need to talk about more.”) I love the variety of guests she interviews – one week it might be Jane Fonda and the next week just some regular girl talking about her father’s death. And, like Jess, she has such a unique interview style where she asks tough questions that other people would probably shy away from.

> Nerdist Podcast: One of my long-time favorite podcasts! Comedian Chris Hardwick interviews famous celebrities about how they got to where they are today. Definitely one to listen to if you’re into comedy.

Chit-chat podcasts

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> The Shepod: Two girlfriends living in L.A. (Rachael and Sara) come together every Sunday for brunch and chit-chat. They talk about what’s going on in their lives, as well as what made their “gross list” for the week and take a look back to some “90’s nostalgia.” All in all, it’s 45 minutes of fun and I love sitting down with these girls once a week!

> Starr Struck Radio: A married couple – Mary Catherine and Ben – come together once a week to discuss “adulting” topics, like the challenges of buying a home, whether or not to have kids, and being an effective manager of your time. I really like the male perspective this show brings because so many podcasts in this vein are female-focused. Having the two perspectives provides a balanced look at the topics, and they are just really fun together.

> Call Your Girlfriend: Two long-distance besties sit down twice a month to chat about what’s going on in the world. There’s an emphasis on pop culture and feminism, which I appreciate, and I just enjoy their back-and-forth dialogue.

> The Joy the Baker Podcast: One of the first podcasts I ever started listening to and I love it so. Two friends and bloggers – Joy and Tracy – sit down for hour-long chats about… anything, really. It’s always so random and the two of them are hilarious together, so I giggle throughout each episode. Their shows have been few and far between lately (I think they’ve only recorded 4 podcasts this year…) but I’m a loyal subscriber, so anything I get from them makes me happy!

Storytelling podcasts

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> StartUp Podcast: This follows different startup companies through the trials and tribulations of forming and developing their company. The first season, which I’m listening to now, follows Alex Blumberg as he starts his podcasting company, Gimlet Media. I didn’t think I’d get sucked into this show as much as I have because business podcasts aren’t my thing, but I love the storytelling format and love the honesty with which Blumberg tells his story.

> Serial: I mean, if you don’t know what this podcast is about, I welcome you back into the land of the living. Listen. Now. Before you do anything else. This is the best podcast out there, hands down!

> Undisclosed: The State Vs. Adnan Syed: This podcast is basically a spinoff of Serial, where Rabia Chaudry (the one who brought Adnan’s case to Sarah Koenig of Serial) along with two law experts, Susan Simpson and Colin Miller, revisit Adnan’s case, piece by piece, revealing new information as they go along. The first few episodes were a little shaky, but it’s gotten really good as they’ve found their footing and they’ve revealed some startling information that wasn’t covered in Serial.

Bookish podcasts

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> Dear Book Nerd: Librarian Rita Meade, along with a guest co-host, answers listener questions about “life, love, and literature.” There’s always such an interesting mix of questions, and Rita has made the podcast a safe space for listeners to ask any type of question.

> Book Riot – The Podcast: The editors of Book Riot.com come together for an hour-long podcast each week, talking about what’s new in the world of books and publishing. They can sometimes go off on tangents and I find their ad spots to be way. too. long., but in general, I enjoy the hosts and their camaraderie.

Educational podcasts

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> Criminal: A podcast that explores all facets of crime and criminals. It tells the story of people who have been wronged and people who have wronged others. It’s a fascinating look into the human psyche!

> Invisibilia: A show from NPR about the invisible forces that affect human nature. Some of the topics covered in their first season: what would it be like to live a life without fear, whether our thoughts have a bearing on who we really are, and how expectations can limit or empower us. Such a powerful podcast and I am on pins and needles waiting for season two!

> Stuff Mom Never Told You: A podcast all about women! I love the hosts and I love the range of topics covered – from women explorers to pregnancy to the Golden Girls. If you’re looking to learn more about feminism and womanhood, I’d highly recommend this podcast.

> Stuff You Should Know: Consistently one of the best podcasts on my feed. I love Josh and Chuck and I love how I get to learn about the most random topics. Like circus families. And BASE jumping. And ocean currents. Always informative and always very well-researched.

Miscellaneous podcasts

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> Mystery Show: A new show from Gimlet Media where the host, Starlee Kine, takes on random mysteries to solve. It’s a little silly but really entertaining. And Starlee is just adorable and funny and I want to be more like her.

> Happier with Gretchen Rubin: I am not a huge fan of Gretchen Rubin the author (I know, burn me at the stake), but I am a huge fan of this podcast! Gretchen and her sister, Elizabeth, get together once a week giving advice on happiness and good habits. I can relate to Elizabeth a lot, which is what I think I love most about this podcast.

> Dear Sugar Radio: Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond bring back their advice column, Dear Sugar, in the form of a podcast. The questions cover all sorts of topics, so it’s not just about relationships or marriage and family, but also about finances and friendships and personality issues. I always walk away from an episode having learned something, either about myself or the world.

Whew! There you have it. My favorite podcasts right now, broken down by category. Maybe I’ll revisit this post in another year to see how my podcast tastes have changed. 🙂 If you’re a podcast listener, do you have any shows to add to my list? (Because I obviously need more shows to add to my list… haha)

Categories: Life

Why I’m Moving in with a Roommate

Originally, I had no plans to move in with someone. I wanted my own place where I didn’t have to share a single thing with anybody. In my head, this sounded fantastic. I wrote out a budget for myself and started doing a little apartment hunting to see if I could find something that met all of my needs.

But alas, here I am, a month or so away from finally moving out, and instead of moving to my own place, I’m moving in with a roommate. At age 27. I think it’s around this point when people, if they’re single, decide to get out of the roommate rat race and into a place of their own. And yet… though I thought I wanted that for myself… I am supremely happy with my decision to live with a roommate.

Here’s why.

1. I don’t like living alone.

I like being alone. I like alone time. But I do not like living alone. It’s lonely. It’s confining. I get freaked out that someone is going to break into my apartment and murder me in my sleep. I just don’t feel safe living alone. I have a very active imagination, and even though I live in a gated, very safe apartment community right now, I still get freaked out at night when my mom’s away.

Don’t get me wrong – I do like those weekends when she’s away and I have the place to myself. It is nice. And I’ll definitely have that with Roomie because she travels a lot, visits family and friends, and has a super active social life. So there will be many nights and weekends when I am alone.

But I just don’t think I want a 24/7 living-alone arrangement. At least right now.

2. Rent ain’t cheap, yo!

First, I want to make it clear that I don’t live with my mom rent-free. I haven’t since I graduated college and started working at a “big girl” job. I’ve been contributing to our household bills for a very long time, and also have my own bills, like car insurance, phone, car loan, etc. Basically – I know how to live financially independent of my mom. Just because I live with her doesn’t mean I’m living off her. (I believe most of my family thinks this of me, so I just wanted to clear this up right here.)

So it’s really nice to be able to split my bills up. To not have the burden of rent or utilities on my own. When I started looking at one-bedroom apartments that fit my needs (i.e., safe community, pet friendly, washer/dryer included, etc.), I started to realize I would have to live at the top of my budget. So I was stressed about being able to afford to live on my own. And stressed about having to forfeit some of my apartment needs to find a cheaper place.

Enter Roomie. With her, I can live in a place that meets my needs (and hers, of course!) and all the bills will be split down the middle. It relieved so much stress off my shoulders and, through our searching, we’ve been able to find places that are beautiful and updated, but also keep us at the lower end of our budget.

3. A roommate equals a built-in buddy.

Well, probably not always, and probably not if you don’t get along with your roomie (as happened to me in college), but in a sense, having a roommate means I’ll have someone to do stuff with. Living alone means I would have to really be diligent about reaching out to friends (something I need to be doing anyway, I know) to ensure I don’t spend entire weekends curled up at home, watching Netflix. Which, as mentioned in Monday’s blog post, is what I’m most wont to do. My roomie is definitely an extrovert and someone who thrives on a busy schedule, and living with her will force me to get out more and be more social. And it will be nice to have someone to come home to, in a sense. Someone to share dog duties with. Someone to cook with, watch TV with, be goofy with. I have that with my mom and it’s just so darn nice. It really is. I would really miss the built-in buddy part if I lived alone.

4. I’m moving in with one of my best friends – not a stranger or someone I barely know.

While all of the above points are true and big reasons that factored into my having a roommate, this point is the biggest factor. I am not sure I would have considered moving in with anyone else – in fact, having a roommate wasn’t even on my radar until I met Bri last June and formed a deep bond with her. We clicked instantly and even though we are very different in some ways, we are also so eerily similar. And she’s just so darn easy to be around. She makes me feel better, just by being around her. I’m so looking forward to having her bright spirit in my everyday life.

I would not have considered a roommate situation with a stranger or a casual acquaintance. I tried that once, and it ended up terribly, and I would never do it again. The main reason I am moving in with Bri is because I think living with her will be such a positive experience because she is someone I know and love.

And, so, there you have it. Perhaps one day I will live alone, but it just doesn’t feel like the right time for me right now. I have fears about what these next few months will hold, but I also have a ton of excitement and anticipation. A roommate situation isn’t for everyone, but I think it can be a positive experience in the right circumstances and I’m willing to take the chance on that.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give for living with a roommate?

Categories: Life

Reviewing the Second Quarter of the Year

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And just like that, the first half of 2015 is over. I’ve both loved and loathed this year. For the most part, it’s been a great one. I’ve been able to travel. I’ve helped my mom plan her wedding. And I’ve really taken the time to let myself be. There have been low moments. Moments where my anxiety overwhelms me. Moments where I worry I’m not doing enough with my life. Moments where I get so scared for the future that it’s hard to breathe. C’est la vie, right?

In any event, we’re done with two quarters of the year and, as I did for Q1, I wanted to take the time to reflect on what was good and challenging in Q2, and make some goals for Q3.

Q2 Review – The Highlights

  • Going on my seventh cruise

I had such a wonderful time on my cruise in mid-May. It wasn’t the perfect cruise, but it just felt really good to get away from reality. I got to spend time in the Bahamas again as well as three new-to-me islands (St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, and Grand Turk). I’m already looking forward to my next cruise!

  • Chopping off my hair

I’m so glad I took the plunge and went back to a bob. I ended up taking 9 inches off and it has been such a delightful change. My hair feels so much more manageable now and getting ready in the morning takes no time at all!

  • Helping my mom plan her wedding

It has been really fun helping my mom plan her wedding! We hadn’t done much in the way of planning until we got back from our cruise. Since we knew the wedding would be small (originally, we were thinking around 15-20 people, but the guest list has since grown to be closer to 30) and we wouldn’t need to book a fancy hall for the ceremony or reception, we managed to tackle all the to-dos in these last two months. Every weekend, we’ve had different wedding tasks to complete (such as: taking engagement photos and designing the invitations, scoping out the perfect area in downtown St. Petersburg for the small ceremony, finding my mom’s wedding dress and my maid-of-honor dress… things like that). All that’s left is to put together wedding favors and do all the day-of getting ready and setup! I honestly cannot wait!

  • Helping with my mom’s surprise bridal shower

My mom’s work BFF (who is actually going to be the officiant at the wedding!) put this whole surprise bridal shower together, and she did a fantastic job. Not only did she most of the decorating and planning, but she also helped everyone keep mum about the whole event, so my mom was super shocked. I was so touched to be included in the festivities and it makes me so incredibly happy that my mom has such a great support system at her work. She deserves it all!

  • Meeting Emilie

I had such a fun afternoon in Downtown Disney with Emilie and her fiance, Pete. From the get-go, it felt like I was hanging out with old friends, not people I had just met! But that’s the way it goes with blogging friends, eh? It was quite wonderful to meet them!

Q2 Review – The Challenges

  • Spraining my ankle

Oh, it’s just no fun at all to get injured while on vacation. Spraining my ankle during my zip-lining and hiking excursion in Puerto Rico turned what was a super fun excursion at the start into my personal version of hell. Luckily, the tour guides were super nice and helpful once I told them about my injury, even helping me down some of the more treacherous terrains. Since then, my ankle has just been very tender. I can walk on it fine now, but stepping down onto that foot or walking downstairs still causes shooting pain. Hopefully, I’ll be 100% soon!

  • Dealing with a sick pup

My poor Dutchie-Boy. As I mentioned previously, Dutch has been dealing with a bad UTI. After three weeks on medication, he was still not getting better so last week, he went back to the vet. This time, he had blood work done and another urinalysis. His blood work came back normal, but his urinalysis showed signs that he still has a UTI. SIGH! The vet sent him home with two new types of antibiotics to get rid of the bacteria causing the UTI. (He’s also on new food + a probiotic to help with some stomach pain the vet noticed.) I am just hoping and praying this gets rid of the UTI for good because I hate that he’s still suffering!

  • Eating healthy

It’s been such a struggle. It just hasn’t been easy to summon the motivation to cook healthier meals, eat out less, and do everything else that falls into eating better. But something has to give because I’m tired of not feeling good – both inside and out. I’m hoping a combination of using MyFitnesspal more regularly and going low-carb will get me to where I want to be.

Q2 Review – The Goals

I set five goals for myself to complete in Q2. Let’s review them!

  • Refinance my auto loan

Check! I have been working with an advisor at my bank to refinance my auto loan and we’re in the final stages of it now. I’m just so happy that I finally got this done!

  • Schedule an appointment with a therapist.

Incomplete. And I really, really need to start seeing a therapist. I must make this a priority in Q3.

  • Launch a brand-new blog theme.

Check! And I love it so!

  • Make a decision on an apartment.

Incomplete. My move-out date has been pushed back to possibly August, maybe September. I’m okay with it, though! With all of Dutch’s recent vet visits, saving money has not been possible so I’m not really ready financially to move out. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be writing my Q3 review from a South Tampa address. Squee!

  • Start writing fiction again.

Incomplete. I haven’t been able to get into the habit of it. Maybe I need to give myself some sort of word count or time goal? Hmm.

Looking ahead to Q3 (July, August, and September)

As I did last quarter, I want to set five achievable long-term-ish goals for this quarter. While I still love the purpose behind setting yearly intentions, it’s nice to break those intentions up into smaller goals to strive for. So, without further ado, here are the goals I want to accomplish in Q3:

  • Move to South Tampa
  • Start therapy
  • Lose 15 lbs
  • Take a social media and blogging break
  • Start writing fiction again

What were the highlights of Q2 for you?

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Welcome!

Hi, I'm Stephany! (She/her) I'm a 30-something single lady, living in Florida. I am a bookworm, cat mom, podcaster, and reality TV junkie. I identify as an Enneagram 9, an introvert, and a Highly Sensitive Person. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

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