Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 114)

1) Reading retreat

A few weeks ago, I called my leasing office to see what could be done about my peeling tub. The peeling started a while ago and is getting noticeably worse, and I do not want to be charged for it when I move out. They told me that they can bring someone in to refinish it, but that I’ll need to be out the apartment for one day due to all the fumes. Which means my cats need to be out of the apartment, too. I thought about holing up in a room in my mom’s house, but then I had a better idea: A reading retreat! I have had this idea in my head for so long to spend a long weekend by myself in an Airbnb with a stack of books and snacks and the challenge to read as much as possible.

My tub refinishing is happening on April 10th, which is a Thursday, so I booked a cute little house about 30 minutes from me from Wednesday – Saturday. I’ll work a full day on Wednesday and head over to the house in the late afternoon. I’ll have 2.5 days to myself (I’ve already asked for the days off work!) to read, read, read. My goal is to read for 24 hours in total, which is an aggressive goal but I like having something tangible like this to strive for. I’m already thinking about the books I want to bring and the snacks to buy. And the best part is, I’ll have my girls with me to keep me company! That’s a win/win.

2) Rookie mistake

There I was at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning, armed with my reusable bags and Reddit research of how Aldi works and my quarter to get my shopping cart. I slipped the quarter into my purse the night before, knowing I’d probably forget it if I didn’t do it right then and there. I drive to my nearest Aldi, which isn’t far but isn’t as close as Publix (10 minutes opposed to 5 minutes). And then I’m ready. I reach into my purse to make sure I have the quarter in hand, prepared to not look like a newbie. Except the quarter is not where I put it. The quarter is gone. It just disappeared from my purse! I searched everywhere in my purse, but I am quarter-less. And while I probably could have waited outside of Aldi for some kind soul to take pity on me, I have social anxiety and that’s not the way I operate. So instead I sadly pulled out of the parking lot and drove to Publix for my weekly grocery shopping. Hopefully I have better luck this weekend.

3) One week from tomorrow

Next Saturday is the big day! My mom and I will be doing the Fight for Air Stair Climb, and I am so very nervous about it. I was trying to train for it by using the stair stepper at the gym, but y’all, the stair stepper is no joke. The most steps I did at once was 300 and it felt like agony, which makes me really excited about climbing another 600! At this point, I am going to trust that I have the fitness level to complete it (I climb three flights of stairs with groceries weighing me down on a weekly basis, so I can handle this, right?!).

I am pleased to announce that I surpassed my fundraiser goal threefold (a massive thank you to everyone who donated – thank-you cards are in the mail!). If you wanted to donate but haven’t yet, can I ask you to donate to my mom’s fundraiser? She’s trying to raise $100 as well!

4) Dinner fail

I had my first dinner fail in a while! I couldn’t see how I could fail at a recipe that called for adding a whole head of garlic to the pot, but apparently, I made a very bland chicken dish from those instructions. I don’t know if it was just the recipe that failed me or if I missed some crucial step that would have taken things up a notch, but the meal was not nearly as flavorful as I expected. I ate my portion for dinner but threw the rest away. Win some, lose some.

(What I didn’t fail at this week was my beloved Italian chicken, in which I dump a whole bottle of Italian dressing into a bag, add some chicken, and let it marinate for a few hours before throwing it in the oven to bake. Yummmm!)

5) Weekend plans

I have a great weekend planned! Tonight will be a low-key one at home. Tomorrow, I have writing with Mikaela in the morning and then I’m going to my mom’s so we can celebrate Lucy’s birthday (she’s turning four, omg). The dogs are going to their favorite place for a bath and then afterwards, we’re going to our favorite ice cream shop that specifically makes ice cream for dogs. Yay! And on Sunday, I will go to a yoga class and then in the late afternoon, I’m finally giving my mom her birthday present (from last July, ha): We’re going to a paint-your-pet event at our local Painting with a Twist! She’s going to paint Lucy and I’m going to paint Eloise. (Which means I will need to go back to paint Lila!)

What was your last dinner fail? What are your weekend plans?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 73)

The high of my week was having dinner with my friend Amber, who happens to have a thriving travel planning business, to talk about a potential trip my mom and I want to take in the fall: Paris and London. I have wanted to do a trip like this for so long, and I think it’s finally time to make it happen! My mom and I chatted with Amber about the things we want to do in each city and she gave us so many recommendations on how to build an itinerary that will work for us. I am so glad to have Amber’s expertise to help us create an ideal itinerary and handle all of those annoying tasks of planning a trip like booking accommodations and excursions. She is going to be an invaluable resource for us!

The low of my week was finding out that I owe on my taxes for the first time ever! I had a feeling this was coming since I’ve been getting less and less back every year (it’s usually enough to cover the cost of TurboTax, but nothing more, lol). It wasn’t too bad ($182) but it was quite the bummer. I miss those years when I got a four-figure tax refund, but I also enjoy making a decent salary now, so ya win some, ya lose some.

I’m currently reading three books! On audio, I’m halfway done with Summer Fridays by Suzanne Rindell and I am loving it so much! It’s the kind of audiobook I don’t want to stop listening to, which very rarely happens. In print, I’ve got about 100 pages left of Crow Mary by Kathleen Grissom, which has also been an excellent read. And my e-book right now is Caught Up by Liz Tomforde, which has also been a good read. So my reading life is BANGIN’ right now!

A recommendation I have for you is the Big Feelings Substack by Sarah Jacobson. I’m not even sure how I started following this Substack, but I love Sarah’s honesty about life as a single, childless woman at 39, setting boundaries at her corporate job, and more. She has a beautiful writing style and I look forward to reading her words every week!

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Behind the Scenes of a Book-to-Screen Adaptation with Georgia Hunter on Sarah’s Book Shelves Live. This was a really fun conversation with Sarah and Georgia. Georgia wrote We Were the Lucky Ones, which is now a Hulu miniseries, and she talks all about what it was like trying to get her book adapted and being an executive producer for the show. It was an excellent discussion!

The best money I spent was $3,048.81 to pay off my LASIK bill! While it felt really scary to make such a large one-time payment (and I had to do it over the phone to an automated system), it feels so good to finally have this debt paid off and not looming over my head anymore. I’m so, so, so happy I got LASIK (it has been LIFE-CHANGING) and even happier that I paid off the surgery within 18 months!

My plans this weekend include a very low-key Friday (I think I’m going to finally curl up on the couch and watch Dirty Dancing!) and then a very busy Saturday (an early-morning gym workout, a writing date with Mikaela, recording two podcast episodes with Bri, and then game night!). And I’ll follow it up with a restorative Sunday – the only things on my agenda are yoga and grocery shopping.

What was the high of your week?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 72)

The high of my week was a great annual review with my boss. I wasn’t necessarily worried about this review because I know the value I bring to my department, but I was curious how she saw my contributions considering she joined our team in the last half of the year. Thankfully, everything lined up! I appreciated her thoughtful feedback and how she articulated the career growth she sees in me, specifically within our department. It made me feel really good! And I found out my bonus percentage for the year, which was such a relief because I was counting on that bonus to pay off my LASIK bill. Woop!

The low of my week was anxiety. It’s been over a week of living in a high-anxiety state and I am very much ready to call my psychiatrist to talk through medication options if this doesn’t improve. I spent last weekend spiraling about a specific situation (surprisingly, not about my mom this time!), and I am so grateful to my friend Mikaela who sat with me on the phone for over an hour on Friday morning when I texted her that I was panicking. We didn’t talk about the anxiety, she just chatted with me as she went about her morning after dropping her daughters off at school and getting ready for the workday at home. This is what I need when I’m spiraling: distraction. I was hoping the anxiety would ease after the weekend, but it hasn’t. Ugh.

I’m currently reading two books. On audio, I’m almost done with Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting by Lisa Genova. In print, I’m about 100 pages into Crow Mary by Kathleen Grissom. I’m really enjoying it!

A Reel I enjoyed was this very good usage of the Internet to show us the different types of “cat engines.” Sometimes, the Internet can be just what we need right now.

A podcast episode I enjoyed was my own! The Friendship Paradox is back, baby! We took a very long, six-month hiatus due to hurricane madness and very busy schedules and in that time, we both realized how much this podcast means to us. Our first episode of season 9 was all about what happened to cause our hiatus and how we handle hard times.

The best money I spent was $30 on lunch with my mom yesterday. I was thinking about how much I did not want to eat a sad bowl of tuna fish for lunch when my mom texted me to see if I was available for lunch. Yes, please! We met at our favorite local deli and I had a delicious sandwich that was so much better than my original lunch plans. And I got some mom time! (I paid for my mom’s lunch since she got us dinner the night before—I promise this deli isn’t charging $30 for a sandwich, ha!)

My plans this weekend include some pampering and a girls’ weekend away! It’s going to be a very good weekend, my friends. I gave myself a four-day weekend so I could really enjoy myself. This morning, I am going to the hair salon where I am going to get new color and a haircut (yes, I was doing my hair at home and now I feel like going to a salon, whatever). I’m also going to get my underarms and brows waxed. (I’m hoping waxing my underarms regularly may help with my cyst issue since blocked hair follicles can cause these types of cysts.) And then in the afternoon, Bri and I will be off to Orlando! We’re staying with her friend where we plan on going to a Taylor Swift-themed romance bookstore, loving on her friend’s animals, enjoying afternoon tea, and corralling said friend for a podcast episode! (She’s an enneagram 4 so we’re going to dive into her personality.) It will be a lovely weekend (though I will very much enjoy a relaxed, low-key Monday to recover from it all!).

What are your weekend plans?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 113)

1) Fight for Air Climb

Well, I did it! I signed up for the Fight for Air Climb. On Saturday, I used the stair stepper at my gym and I was able to climb 150 steps without too much difficulty so I think I can handle the climb. Maybe. Hopefully. With a lot of grumbling, at least. To get ready for the climb, I’m going to use the stair stepper at least twice a week and increase the number of stairs I climb each time so that I can at least be close to handling 900+ steps on April 5th. And now for the part where you guys come in (if you’re so inclined). I’m trying to raise $100 for the American Lung Association, so I’m going to leave the link to my fundraising page here. Any amount helps, even just a few dollars!

2) A break-up

I broke up with my dietician yesterday. Because I am a coward, I did it over the messaging app while cancelling our next appointment (and I even asked ChatGPT how to write the message for me, lol). I love my dietician and she taught me so much, but I don’t know how helpful she is going to be on my journey to lower my A1C. If I do go back to a dietician (which I will probably only do if I’m diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes), then I will see a diabetes dietician. I don’t feel like I was making all that much progress in living a healthier lifestyle with my dietician, but she’s definitely the person I want every woman who struggles with a diet culture mindset to go to. She was excellent at helping me break down those thought patterns and eating behaviors! But now, it’s time to do things my own way, which will entail tracking my food and paying close attention to portion sizes and nutrition facts.

3) The elephant in the room

NGS wrote a post yesterday that really resonated with me. I haven’t talked about politics much on my blog lately, not because I’m not thinking about it all the time but because it feels so dark and heavy and I don’t really have the words to express how scared I am. It feels easier to talk about other things. I am scared for democracy, for freedom of speech, for the Constitution. I am scared that there are no checks and balances anymore, and that this administration is going to be able to dismantle politics as we know it. I am scared that we won’t have any more global allies or the protection of NATO. I am scared for our immigrant community and the absolute shitstorm they are enduring. I am scared and heartbroken for trans people and losing the ability to declare their gender on documents (WHO is that hurting?!). I can’t believe we withdrew from the WHO and what this will mean for global health outbreaks going forward. I could keep going. Things are terrible and every new story makes me want to scream into the void.

4) Let’s talk about cats

Because there’s no great way to segue after the previous point, let’s talk about cute things my cats have done recently: Lila playing with her crinkly ball (the only toy she will bat around the apartment). Eloise snuggling into my freshly washed quilt and not moving (not even for treats). Lila hardcore snuggling me in the early mornings. Eloise sleeping on the dining chair next to me while I work at the dining room table. Lila splaying herself out on the coffee table while I’m coloring and watching TV. Eloise grooming a toy (!?!). Lila being sweet and loving with this beaver toy, so sweet and loving that I think they might be having a love affair.

5) Weekend plans

I have a great weekend planned! I have nothing going on tonight and I’d really like to finish one of the books I’ve been slogging through for over a week now. Tomorrow, I’m going to a friend’s daughter’s play, which should be so adorable. And then I’m going to drop off my nephew’s birthday present at his home and go shopping with my mom. Sunday, I have a writing date with Mikaela and then I’m going to visit my cousin to snuggle her baby. It’s been forever since I’ve seen her or him, and I am vastly overdue for a visit.

What are your weekend plans?

Categories: Recurring Series

36 Questions | Part II

A few months ago, I answered a few questions from this questionnaire and figured today was a great day to answer a few more! To be honest, a few of these questions got very deep and personal but it felt cathartic to write about some of the events of my past. <3

1. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Oh, I would most definitely like to retain the body of a 30-year-old. My therapist told me that the newest science believes that brains continue developing into the early thirties (rather than 25, as originally thought), so I’d like to keep my fully formed brain with me, thank you very much. I’d also like the ability to make new memories and enjoy the wisdom that comes with being older and having more experiences. And wouldn’t it be amazing to be in my 80s and still have the joints and muscles of a 30-year-old? No more aches and pains! That would be a gift.

2. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

On an almost monthly basis, my body starts acting up at night. My shoulder hurts or a headache won’t go away or I pulled a muscle in my chest but it definitely feels like I’m having chest pains. On those nights, I go to sleep and think to myself, “I’m going to die in my sleep from a heart attack or stroke!!!” (Those nights, I always come so close to calling my mom and telling her I need to go to the ER immediately, but I can usually calm myself down enough to be logical about what’s happening.) Anyway, I have yet to die in my sleep from a heart attack or stroke, but apparently that’s the way my anxiety brain thinks I will die so that’s something for me to talk about in therapy, I guess.

3. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I think I am most grateful for the relationship I have with my mom. She is truly my best friend and someone I enjoy being around more than anyone in the world. Mother/daughter relationships can be so complicated, and I think the fact that she was my primary caregiver during a time when my dad was not a stable parent in my life drew us closer together. She was dedicated to providing a stable, loving, encouraging home for my brother and me. She listened to us, she took time to hang out with us, and she never badmouthed our dad in front of us. Did I have teenage angst with her? Yes, of course. (I wrote “I Hate My Mom” on my dresser in a fit of teenage rage one day and then felt so bad about it that I covered it up with a sticker.) Was I embarrassed by her as a teen? Duh. (My brother and I asked her to park a few blocks away when we were going to this weekly church event so we could pretend that we walked there.) Was I hormonal and not able to handle my emotions very well? Yuuuup! It’s all part of the growing up process. As I got older, as I went through estrangement with my dad, as we suffered the loss of family members, we formed a tight bond. And I am so grateful to have a healthy, loving, supportive relationship with my mom. It’s the best thing in my life.

4. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I wish I had a father who loved me. In his own way, he did love me but that love came with conditions. If I didn’t live up to his conditions, he became a bully. He berated me, shouted curses at me, and made me feel that I was unworthy of his love and attention. And that’s why I estranged myself from him in my early twenties, a decision I have not regretted since. (In fact, I am so, so proud of that young girl who dared to make that choice.) It took many years of therapy (and a handful of bad relationships where I realized I was giving everything up to make my partner happy without asking anything of them) to get to a place where I feel confident in who I am. And I know my father was the one with the problems here, not me. And damn, imagine missing out on the last 16 years of memories with your son and daughter. That’s on him.

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Easy: I would be able to make conversation with anyone. I wish I was friendly and outgoing, and someone who didn’t struggle to make conversation with people. But I am not that person. I always feel like I’m bothering people if I try to engage them in conversation, and I never know how to (a) start a conversation and (b) keep it going. I am always amazed at my friends who can go up to literally anyone and strike up a conversation. They don’t struggle with word retrieval or stumbling over their words or feeling dumb. Being able to conversate easily with people is such a great skill, and I wish I had it.

Do you want the body or mind of a 30-year old? What quality/ability would you like to have?