Stephany Writes

Categories: Recurring Series

36 Questions | Part II

A few months ago, I answered a few questions from this questionnaire and figured today was a great day to answer a few more! To be honest, a few of these questions got very deep and personal but it felt cathartic to write about some of the events of my past. <3

1. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Oh, I would most definitely like to retain the body of a 30-year-old. My therapist told me that the newest science believes that brains continue developing into the early thirties (rather than 25, as originally thought), so I’d like to keep my fully formed brain with me, thank you very much. I’d also like the ability to make new memories and enjoy the wisdom that comes with being older and having more experiences. And wouldn’t it be amazing to be in my 80s and still have the joints and muscles of a 30-year-old? No more aches and pains! That would be a gift.

2. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

On an almost monthly basis, my body starts acting up at night. My shoulder hurts or a headache won’t go away or I pulled a muscle in my chest but it definitely feels like I’m having chest pains. On those nights, I go to sleep and think to myself, “I’m going to die in my sleep from a heart attack or stroke!!!” (Those nights, I always come so close to calling my mom and telling her I need to go to the ER immediately, but I can usually calm myself down enough to be logical about what’s happening.) Anyway, I have yet to die in my sleep from a heart attack or stroke, but apparently that’s the way my anxiety brain thinks I will die so that’s something for me to talk about in therapy, I guess.

3. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I think I am most grateful for the relationship I have with my mom. She is truly my best friend and someone I enjoy being around more than anyone in the world. Mother/daughter relationships can be so complicated, and I think the fact that she was my primary caregiver during a time when my dad was not a stable parent in my life drew us closer together. She was dedicated to providing a stable, loving, encouraging home for my brother and me. She listened to us, she took time to hang out with us, and she never badmouthed our dad in front of us. Did I have teenage angst with her? Yes, of course. (I wrote “I Hate My Mom” on my dresser in a fit of teenage rage one day and then felt so bad about it that I covered it up with a sticker.) Was I embarrassed by her as a teen? Duh. (My brother and I asked her to park a few blocks away when we were going to this weekly church event so we could pretend that we walked there.) Was I hormonal and not able to handle my emotions very well? Yuuuup! It’s all part of the growing up process. As I got older, as I went through estrangement with my dad, as we suffered the loss of family members, we formed a tight bond. And I am so grateful to have a healthy, loving, supportive relationship with my mom. It’s the best thing in my life.

4. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I wish I had a father who loved me. In his own way, he did love me but that love came with conditions. If I didn’t live up to his conditions, he became a bully. He berated me, shouted curses at me, and made me feel that I was unworthy of his love and attention. And that’s why I estranged myself from him in my early twenties, a decision I have not regretted since. (In fact, I am so, so proud of that young girl who dared to make that choice.) It took many years of therapy (and a handful of bad relationships where I realized I was giving everything up to make my partner happy without asking anything of them) to get to a place where I feel confident in who I am. And I know my father was the one with the problems here, not me. And damn, imagine missing out on the last 16 years of memories with your son and daughter. That’s on him.

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Easy: I would be able to make conversation with anyone. I wish I was friendly and outgoing, and someone who didn’t struggle to make conversation with people. But I am not that person. I always feel like I’m bothering people if I try to engage them in conversation, and I never know how to (a) start a conversation and (b) keep it going. I am always amazed at my friends who can go up to literally anyone and strike up a conversation. They don’t struggle with word retrieval or stumbling over their words or feeling dumb. Being able to conversate easily with people is such a great skill, and I wish I had it.

Do you want the body or mind of a 30-year old? What quality/ability would you like to have?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 112)

1) Supplements

I’m trying out some new supplements to see if they’ll help with my chronic inflammation (which I think is the reason behind all of the nerve pain I’ve been experiencing lately, and may even help lower my A1C). My dietician recommended I start taking fish oil and from there, I went down a rabbit hole of other supplements that could help improve inflammation. Ultimately, I decided I’d start taking fish oil and turmeric, in addition to the multivitamin and Vitamin D supplement I already take. I’m hoping that the addition of these supplements and the changes I’m already making to my diet will start to shift the tide of the health issues. Fingers crossed!

2) Birchie Made Me Do It

This week, Birchie posted about the American Lung Association’s Fight for Air Climb that she’s doing, and because I’m a masochist, I looked up to see if there’s one of these climbs happening near me. Unfortunately, I found one. There’s a climb in Tampa at the Bank of America Plaza on April 5th and my mom and I are thinking of signing up. Are we CRAZY?! I think we’re crazy. I know we work out regularly but are we in climb-900+-stairs-at-once shape? But also, we lost my uncle (my mom’s brother) to lung cancer in 2023 so it feels like a good cause and I love a good fitness challenge. Maybe I’ll meet a hot firefighter on my way up and we’ll have the sweetest (or sweatiest) meet-cute.

So here’s my plan: Tomorrow, I’m going to use the stair stepper at the gym and see how long it takes me to climb 100 stairs and how I feel afterward. If I do not feel like dying and that I could feasibly keep going if needed, then I’ll sign up for the stair climb. I’ll have six weeks to prepare, which would give me enough time to feel confident that I won’t die in a stairwell in Tampa.

3) Downtime

I have re-engaged the Downtime feature on my phone. From 8 p.m. to 9 a.m. five nights a week (Sunday – Thursday), I will lose access to those apps that tend to suck me in and keep me from doing my evening and morning routines in a timely manner. I am hoping this will help me get to bed earlier and be more productive in the morning because those phone games and Instagram and Reddit apps can really slow me down. Plus, it will bring down my average screen time, which is so high that I can’t even talk about it. (After two days of using Downtime, my average screen time was already down by almost two hours. That should tell you how often I was using my phone in the early mornings and evenings! Oof.)

4) Warm-Ups Do Work!

Last week, I complained about my Wednesday night HIIT class and how I feel that I’m not adequately warmed up for it. After sitting all day at a desk and then immediately jumping into a workout class, my body is usually very unhappy with me! This week, I got to the gym early and did 20 minutes on the elliptical and then spent 10 minutes stretching. I really focused on my hip flexors and hamstrings (as directed by Nicole!) and I think it helped so much! I felt a lot more loose and limber starting class and my lower back didn’t hurt nearly as much as it usually does! One of the stations we did this week was a repeat from last week (single-legged RDL with a ball, and then we throw the ball at a target). I could only do one of the three circuits for that station before my back started hurting too much. This week, I could do most of the circuits (my back started hurting about halfway through the third circuit) and with a heavier ball (15 lbs vs 10 lbs). Now I know: the warm-up is key to a better workout.

5) Weekend Plans

I don’t really have much going on this weekend! Today, I am taking Lila for her annual vet appointment (please send prayers that I can get her in her carrier without too much drama) and then I will have a low-key evening at home. Tomorrow, I plan on going to the gym for a workout, getting a pedicure, and in the evening, it’s game night with the fam! And Sunday will be an easy day. I’ll go to a yoga class, do my weekly grocery shopping, do some meal prep, but mostly take it easy.

What are your weekend plans?

Categories: Recurring Series

One Picture Per Hour | Sunday, February 16, 2025

7:15 a.m.: It’s time to wake up and Eloise is sitting on my stomach. Lila was also jumping off and on the bed throughout the early morning, but Eloise gets the photo for this one!

8:21 a.m.: It’s time for the weekly bath for my CPAP equipment. They get to spend 30 minutes in warm water and gentle, unscented dish detergent. My nasal mask goes into a separate bath with a special disinfecting tab.

9:08 a.m.: I took a walk to my mailbox because for some reason, Amazon dropped off a package into my mailbox and not my front door like they normally do. Gah! The package included a new yoga bag I wanted to use today so I had to go get my mail!

10:28 a.m.: My plan was to leave my apartment around 10:00 to go to the gym and do a few of the weight machines before yoga class. But I got a little anxious about the gym being really busy and trying to find unoccupied weight machines. So I decided to do a simple routine at home instead. I have a set of 8-lb dumbbells (don’t tell my HIIT trainer who never lets me use anything less than 15 lbs in class, ha!) and did about 20 minutes of arms and legs, which felt awesome!

11:00 a.m.: It’s yoga time! I really love my new yoga bag (to hold yoga blocks and a knee pad) but my current yoga mat is too big for it. I guess I need to purchase a slimmer yoga mat! (I need to get a new one anyway; this one is pretty old.) Yoga class was alright. There was a sub for the class and she did a lot of traditional yoga poses and less deep stretching.

12:52 p.m.: Leftover pizza for lunch and an episode of Big Brother. My mom and I are currently making our way through Big Brother 2 and wowww is it a completely different show with some problematic behavior/language. But I have to place the show in the time period (summer 2001) and we had some problematic views at that time!

1:48 p.m.: Shower time! I decided I should probably not be a gross mess for the rest of the day.

2:42 p.m.: I drive to Bri’s house while listening to my audiobook. We’re recording podcast episodes today!

3:32 p.m.: You guys! I got my nose re-pierced today. YAY! I forgot I had brought up the idea of getting my nose re-pierced to Bri on our Galentine’s date on Friday and she was all about it. It was so, so painful just like the first time around but the pain only lasts a few seconds really. I’m so happy to have my nose piercing back!

4:01 p.m.: It’s podcasting time! We have some fun plans for this podcast and it was so great to be back in the saddle. We recorded two episodes today with the first one releasing on March 11th.

5:11 p.m.: More podcasting! Thankfully, we have our podcast mascots hanging out with us. They’re pretty adorable.

6:43 p.m.: The benefit of podcasting on a late Sunday afternoon with Bri? Her husband made us dinner! It was delicious and the best part is that I didn’t have to make a single part of it. Yum, yum!

7:37 p.m.: After dinner, Bri and I do some scheduling of lady dates and podcast recording dates and then we join Sean on the couch for a few episodes of Brooklyn 99. My favorite show! I will never turn down Brooklyn 99 episodes, that’s for sure.

8:51 p.m.: Home sweet home, and Lila is really excited about treats! (Or I caught her mid-yawn, you decide.)

9:45 p.m.: I would like to tell you that I spent my time after getting home working on this post, but instead I Facetimed with my mom and then laid on the couch and played Happy Color on my phone for way too long. Lila jumped on the couch at some point, so I got a little bit of cat love in the midst of my rotting.

10:17 p.m.: I was too tired to do anything else, so I got into bed with my book. But alas, this picture is a farce. I did not read a single page of my book and instead just watched Instagram Reels until I was too tired to keep my eyes open. For shame!

What’s something you did yesterday?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 71)

The high of my week was a very fun night with friends where we visited a romance bookstore and went out for pizza afterward. You’ll hear all about the fun in tomorrow’s FIG update!

The low of my week was feeling sluggish during my Wednesday night HIIT class. I think I need to start arriving at the gym a little early on Wednesday nights so I can warm up my body before starting the class. I think that’s part of the reason why I have so much lower back pain during the workout—my body is just so tight from sitting all day. I think if I did about 10-15 minutes on the elliptical and then did some static stretching, I’d feel a lot better in class. I mean, I’d still feel like I was dying but, like, a good kind of dying, you know?

I’m currently reading four books, ahhh! I am reading The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery for the CBBC. I’m also reading Beginner’s Luck by Kate Clayborn (print), The Favorites by Layne Fargo (print), and The Family Game by Catherine Steadman (audio). I’m not very far into any of these books (aside from The Blue Castle) so I don’t have much to say about them yet! (Oh wait, I am actually reading five books right now because I’m slowly working my way through Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchauspe. I only read a few pages a day so I can really take in the information.)

A Reel I enjoyed was this girl showing us the smallest bathroom in NYC. You guys, I was not prepared!

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Trump’s Opening Salvo on 5-4. This was a sobering episode, all about the different executive orders and other chaos that Trump has inflicted during his first month in office and what it could mean for the courts. I always love their perspective and this was an especially good episode.

The best money I spent this week was $108 on all of my bookish goodies at Steamy Lit! I was expecting my bill to be a lot higher so I was pleasantly surprised with the total. Plus, I consider this to be putting my dollars where I want them: a woman-owned, minority-owned bookstore that aims to be a safe, inclusive space in our community. It doesn’t get better than that!

My plans this weekend include so many fun things! Tonight, Bri and I are getting together for our 10th annual Galentine’s Day! We are going out to dinner and then seeing Paula Poundstone live. Woop! On Saturday, I have book club in the morning and then I’ll have my writing date with Mikaela afterwards. On Sunday, Bri and I are getting together to record the podcast. !!!! It has been ages since we last recorded and I am really excited to get the podcast back up and running. Also, this is a four-day weekend for me (I took today off and Monday is a holiday for us), so I am very much looking forward to bookending my busy plans with lots of time to myself!

What was the best money you spent this week?

Categories: Recurring Series

Monthly Recap | January 2025

Hi, friends! New year, new monthly recap format. 🙂 Some of this will look familiar and some of it will not! Each month, I’ll dive into a few specific categories about my month:

  • Books – I’ll share my book stats and some bookish superlatives.
  • Media – I’ll give you three recommendations each month (TV shows/music/podcasts/movies/etc).
  • Money – I’m doing this superlative-style with some fun categories like my best purchase of the month, my most regretful purchase, and how many books I bought.
  • Journal – I got this idea from The Lazy Genius. I’m going to share 10-12 snippets from my One Line a Day journal every month (only the safe-for-public-consumption snippets, of course!).
  • Overview – A short overview of what went well, what was challenging, and a few goals I have for the next month.

BOOKS

Reading Stats of January

  • Books read: 10
  • Number of pages read: 3,446
  • Average star rating: 3.93
  • Average time to finish a book: 7 days
  • Format breakdown: 40% print, 30% e-books, 30% audiobooks
  • Genre breakdown: 80% fiction, 20% nonfiction
  • # of DNFs: 2 (Let the Games Begin by Rufara Faith Mazarura and P.S. I Hate You by Lauren Connolly)
  • Audiobook reading: 42 hours, 49 minutes (actual time: 23 hours, 13 minutes)

Reading Superlatives of January

  • The best book I read in January: All in Her Head by Elizabeth Comen, MD
  • The worst book I read in January: Distress Signals by Catherine Ryan Howard
  • The book I was surprised to love: Annie Bot by Sierra Greer
  • The book I thought I would love more than I did: Fly Girl by Ann Hood
  • Most deserving of the hype: The Return of Ellie Black by Emiko Jean

Reading List (from favorite to least favorite)

  1. All in Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women’s Bodies and Why It Matters Today by Elizabeth Comen (audiobook, 2024) ★★★★★
  2. Annie Bot by Sierra Greer (audiobook, 2024) ★★★★★
  3. Making Up by Lucy Parker (e-book, 2018) ★★★★★
  4. The Return of Ellie Black by Emiko Jean (print, 2024) ★★★★☆
  5. A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston (print, 2024) ★★★★☆
  6. The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher (print, 1987) ★★★☆☆
  7. The Thing About Love by Julie James (e-book, 2017) ★★★★☆
  8. Fly Girl by Ann Hood (audiobook, 2022) ★★★☆☆
  9. Colored Television by Danzy Senna (print, 2024) ★★★☆☆
  10. Distress Signals by Catherine Ryan Howard (audiobook, 2017) ★★★☆☆

MEDIA

  • The Traitors, season 3 (Peacock) – Season 3 of The Traitors kicked off in January! Peacock releases episodes weekly so it’s like being back in the olden days where we couldn’t binge our favorite TV shows, ha. I’m loving this season so much, though. So much drama! And some of my favorite Big Brother and Survivor characters are on this season, so that’s been fun.
  • The Circle, season 6 (Netflix) – I finished season 6 of The Circle last month. It was a pretty good season but there were a few characters who were so villainous and mean that it became less and less fun to watch them. But if you love a good villain, this is the season to watch!
  • Book Riot – The Podcast – I used to listen to this podcast religiously but stopped listening to it at some point. Sarah from Sarah’s Book Shelves Live mentions them from time to time on her podcast so I decided to redownload it and see if I wanted to bring them back to my listening rotation. Within the first episode I remembered why I deleted them (they are a bit hoity-toity at times, lol), but I do love the insights they give into the publishing world so I think I’ll keep listening.

MONEY

  • Favorite purchase of January: A heated hand massager ($50). I bought this on a whim when I was having really bad nerve pain in my right hand. It felt so good to massage that hand, especially when I added the heating element! My nerve pain has calmed down a lot since early January so I’m not using this tool as much, but I’m glad I bought it. It will come in handy (<– ha) when my nerve pain acts up again.
  • Silliest purchase of January: Valentine’s mice for the girls ($3). I couldn’t help myself to these cute little Valentine’s mice for my little Valentines. So far, Lila has sniffed at one but they’ve mostly left them alone, so that’s cool.
  • Most regretful purchase of January: A pack of press-on nail strips ($9). One of my friends raved about this nail set at book club so I decided to see what all of the fuss was about. I think this was 100% user error and not the fault of the product, but I just did not like these at all! The edges felt so jagged even when I tried smoothing them down, so the press-on nail trend is just not for me, I think.
  • Number of books purchased in January: 5 (Shrines of Gaiety by Kate Atkinson, Becoming Madam Secretary by Stephanie Dray, The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer, The Favorites by Layne Fargo, and By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult)
  • Best recommendation: Anker phone charger ($13). If you’re looking for a super fast charging cord, here you go! One of the chargers I keep in my living room stopped charging fast and I can’t have that. So I bought these because they had good reviews and came with a nice, long cord, and I’ve been very happy with my purchase!

JOURNAL

  • January 1: A lazy start to the new year, which I am so happy about. I didn’t even get out of my pajamas.
  • January 5: Last week of football and the Dolphins are out of the playoffs. What a bad season.
  • January 9: Tried to go to SBC (Silent Book Club) but went to the wrong brewery. Womp! Mom and I did our own silent reading hour then went out to dinner.
  • January 10: Met up with Jenny! We went to a cat cafe and then a bookstore. It was such a great afternoon!
  • January 11: Bri and I met up to do some brainstorming for the podcast. We haven’t recorded since August!
  • January 15: Felt like I was going to die during HIIT. Probably shouldn’t have told Wayne that I like it when he pushes me.
  • January 16: Bad: Bloodwork results were terrible and I might have diabetes. Good: Author event with Lynn. I left feeling so inspired!
  • January 20: Trump was inaugurated. Today is a very dark day.
  • January 25: Brunch book club. We brought book ideas and activity ideas and put them all in a jar to choose throughout the year.
  • January 27: I tried mushrooms today. I did not like them – eeks.
  • January 29: Today was a bad mental health day. I am just feeling very discouraged by all of my ailments.
  • January 31: Found a new cyst on my body – this time on my right side near my boob. Ugh.

OVERVIEW

What went well

  • Food journaling – I’m doing this through my dietician’s app and just leaving notes about what I’m eating. I’m not looking at calorie counts or anything like that! It’s been eye-opening to say the least.
  • Blogger meetup – Jenny was in the Tampa area in January and we had a fun afternoon together. We went to a cat cafe where I very nearly came home with the sweetest orange cat and then I took her to Oxford Exchange to buy books. Afterward, we had coffee/tea together and chatted our lives away!
  • Podcast brainstorming – Bri and I needed a break from the podcast at the end of the year. Between the hurricanes, me not having a car for a month, Bri’s busy season at work, and the holidays… we just could not sync up our schedules! We met last month to talk about restarting the pod and we’re hoping to release new episodes starting in March!

What was challenging

  • More ailments – I was hoping 2025 was going to be the year of better health, but it’s not starting off that way. I now have three months to get my sugars in check so I’m not diagnosed with diabetes. I started dealing with intense carpal tunnel pain that kept me awake at night. And my dermatologist diagnosed me with hidradenitis suppurativa, which is the reason my body keeps producing cysts on my underarms.
  • The elephant in the room – It hasn’t even been a month and this new administration is causing such chaos. We knew this would happen, but it’s always so much worse when you’re in the middle of it, and it’s hard to know how much worse things are going to get.
  • Really bad cramps – Ugh, you guys. Typically, I have one day of pretty bad cramps on the second day of my period, but a dose of ibuprofen usually takes care of things. Not this month! This month, I had terrible cramps for three days straight and nothing made them feel better – not ibuprofen, not a heating pad, nothing. I let myself fully just rest, though, and maybe that’s what my body needed.

Goals for February

  • Get a new Target card – When I lost my wallet in November, I replaced most of my cards but never got a new Target card (mine is just the debit card so it’s linked up to my bank account, but I do like that sweet 5% discount). This month, I must replace the card!
  • Drop off a Goodwill donation – My car is filled with all of my donations and my plan is to do this today.
  • Hang up my floating shelves – I’ve had these shelves for months now and I just keep being lazy about putting them up.

What was the best book you read in January? What was one of your highlights of the month?