Recurring Series

Five for Friday: On Sleep

A few years ago, I wrote two blog posts all about my sleeping habits (part I and part II). I find the topic of sleep and our habits surrounding sleep to be endlessly fascinating. Sleep is something we all do but we all go about it wildly differently. For today’s post, I wanted to continue the sleep conversation with some more thoughts I’ve had about sleep. Sprinkled in this post will be pictures of my beautiful boy Dutch, who was my heart and soul before he passed away in February 2018. I’m reading blog posts from early 2018 for my blog recategorization goal and it’s bringing back so many memories of him. This one broke my heart the most, and I had to snuggle the cats afterward. <3

1) I had a terrible run of insomnia when I was in 6th grade. Falling asleep on my bed was nearly impossible so I devised a plan to start my night on the floor. I would gather my pillows, blanket, and book and place them on the floor next to my bed. And then I would just lay on the floor, reading until I fell asleep. Eventually, in the middle of the night, I would move to my bed (it was always the falling asleep that was hard, not the staying asleep) and sleep the rest of the night on my bed. Whatever works when it comes to insomnia, right?!

2) I really hate getting up in the middle of the night to pee, and I avoid it at all costs. I try to pee right before going to bed, but it never fails that I will wake up maybe an hour or two before my alarm is set to go off, needing to pee. And usually, I will just hold it until my alarm goes off. This can’t be good for my body. I think it stems from taking care of a senior dog. It took a lot for him to go to sleep and if I ever got up from the bed (he slept with me, of course), it would wake him up. Then, I’d have to take him out for a potty break and spend 20-30 minutes trying to get him back to sleep. After he passed away, it took me a long time to realize I could get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break without disturbing him. And I’m still weird about it! It just feels like so much work to get up, even though it’s so much more painful to lay in bed and hold it.

3) While I know that sleeping on your stomach is one of the worst sleeping positions, it’s my most favorite one. Usually, I’ll start the night on my stomach with my left arm tunneled underneath all of my pillows (I sleep with an insane amount of pillows; one-pillow life is not for me) so that my left hand is near the top of my bed frame and my left shoulder is twisted up near my ear. My right arm is usually tucked in close to my body. This position doesn’t sound comfortable, BUT IT IS. I can’t explain it. Throughout the night, I’ll usually end up on my side or on my back and I typically wake up on my back.

4) I am pro-pets sleeping on the bed. Dutch would sleep with me all night long and now, the cats sleep with me. They’re a lot different than Dutch, though, as they jump on and off the bed throughout the night. Usually, Lila will climb into bed when I’m reading and sleep next to me, and then she jumps off when I turn out the light. Eloise will sometimes start the night in my bed but more often than not, she jumps up in the middle of the night. She either settles herself right on my belly (if I’m sleeping on my back) or finds a spot smack-dab in the middle of the bed, causing me to angle my body in a weird way. (I’m used to doing this as Dutch would sometimes sleep sideways on the bed or snuggled in so close to me that I would barely have any room. He took up more room on the bed than you’d think a 10-lb dachshund could take!)

5) Does anyone remember how popular waterbeds were in the 80s and 90s? My family had one, a large waterbed that I think was my brother’s and so did my grandparents. The more I think about waterbeds, the weirder they seem to me. The process of filling up a water bed is WILD to me (hooking it up to a hose from your yard…?) and I can’t imagine they were very comfortable. Or maybe they were the MOST comfortable? I guess sleeping on water would be really nice for some people, like if you have chronic back pain, but I need a little structure to my bed.

Tell me a random sleep habit/memory you have!

Categories: Recurring Series

Everyday Moments of April

1 – Meeting and snuggling with Eleni! She is so wee and adorable.

I was also able to properly prank my mom for April Fools’ Day! I pretended that our favorite massage therapist was quitting. She bought it hook, line, and sinker and I was elated that I could prank her. Tehehe.

2 – Doing the SPCA Pet Walk with the dogs. They seemed to have a lot of fun and were so good around the other dogs.

3 – Meeting up with my cousin and her two-year-old daughter for a park date.

4 – A really good therapy intake with a new therapist. I felt very comfortable with her, and we even connected over books and reading.

5 – A quick and relatively painless mole removal. I expected to have some pain once the numbing agent wore off at night, but it was only a tiny bit achy and some ibuprofen took care of that.

6 – Having my mom come over to change my bandage and spending some time with her. My mole removal is in an awkward place (lower back) so it’s hard for me to change the bandage myself.

7 – A rainy day. It was so lovely to work inside with the rain falling outside. Loved it!

8 – Being able to snag an emergency dental appointment. I am grateful that I was able to get x-rays done and find out that my gum pain isn’t anything serious. However, I’m super bummed that their next appointment availability isn’t until mid-May. (NOTE: Holy crap. If I had kept that appointment, I would still be dealing with super painful gums when eating.)

9 – Game night with the fam! We introduced my youngest nephew to What Do You Meme? and he thought it was a RIOT. (We use the family edition, which has lots of humor perfect for 7-year-old boys.)

10 – A randomly cold day! (It was in the low 50s when I woke up, and that was such a delightful surprise.)

11 – Meeting my mom for dinner. We had such a lovely time together. I love being with her.

12 – Ordering grocery delivery. A combination of a busy workday, specific food I really needed, and being lazy led me to just ordering grocery delivery, which I usually only do when I’m sick and can’t get to/shouldn’t be at the store.

This beauty loves to take naps on the stairs outside my apartment. She’s a neighbor’s cat and well cared for, but I also want to steal her!

13 – A night with my mom! We ordered pizza, played some games of rummy, and watched Survivor together.

14 – Finding a new dentist’s office and being able to snag an emergency dental cleaning. They solved my gum irritation and it was so nice to be able to enjoy pizza with Bri later that evening and have zero mouth pain. Yayyyy!

15 – Taking a nice long nap and then going on a nice long walk.

16 – Taking the dogs to Salty Paws and watching them enjoy their ice cream. Cutie patooties!

17 – Easter Sunday. My mom, stepdad, and I went out for brunch (my mom and I had delicious watermelon mimosas!) and then I took a nice long nap afterward.

18 – Helping one of my writers recover 12 pages of lost content. I’m so glad I was able to help!

19 – Getting my stitches out and being able to take my first bubble bath in two weeks. Ahhh!

20 – Book club night! Mikaela came with Eleni and we all took turns snuggling her. What’s better than that?

21 – Mom and I spontaneously booked a cruise today for my birthday in November. Our first cruise since 2019! Wahoo!

22 – A wonderful massage. I am so glad I have figured out a way to make massages comfortable and relaxing for me (for me, the key is to ask for a light, light touch).

23 – Bri and I spent most of the afternoon working on our podcast. She figured out all the techy stuff like how to record through her computer with two different mic setups and then we recorded our trailer episode.

24 – Ellie’s birthday! She turned 4 today and we celebrated with wet food and presents.

25 – A dinner date with Mom. Always a fave!

26 – A-midmorning walk in 72 degrees. It’s so nice to have these tiny glimpses of nice spring weather. (But by 10am, it’s over 85 degrees with an extreme UV index and just… ugh.)

27 – I felt very blah today and unmotivated by work. I just wanted to lay in my bed and read and nap! I was tempted to order Ubereats for dinner but I forced myself to make dinner for myself. A great decision because the recipe turned out excellent and the act of cooking lifted my spirits!

28 – Playing with the cats brings me so much joy because it brings them so much joy. I need to do it with them more.

29 – Eating a Screamin’ Sicilian pizza and watching episodes of Get Organized with The Home Edit on Netflix. I don’t know what it says about me that I love that show so much!

30 – Recording a full podcast episode! It was so much fun. I really didn’t expect this creative venture to be as fun as it has been. Another highlight of this day was watching the livestream of The Popcast’s live show in Dallas. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt!

Tell me a highlight of April for you!

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in April

Feeling… a little emotional that my little ladies are turning 4! Eloise’s birthday was on Sunday and Lila’s is next Sunday (Mother’s Day!). I can’t believe that I’ve been a cat mom for this long (before adopting them, I had only ever had dogs). They have added so much happiness to my life. I never knew cats could be so funny and sweet and personable, but my girls totally are. I’m buying them a very fancy new cat tree to celebrate turning another year older, and I’m 100% certain they’ll love the box the cat tree comes in more than the tree itself. The cat life!

Loathing… pregnancy dreams. I have this reoccurring dream where I’m pregnant and single, and suddenly, I decide that I really, really do not want to have this baby anymore. I’m usually well into my pregnancy at this point so it’s not really an option, but I always wake up from the dream feeling so unsettled. (And so happy to wake up not pregnant!) I do not desire motherhood for myself, and I certainly do not desire single motherhood, so I don’t think these dreams are a manifestation of a secret wish for myself. From the googling I’ve done about these dreams, pregnancy dreams (especially if you aren’t pregnant and aren’t trying to be pregnant) represent the birth, or the development, of something new, like a creative project or a budding relationship. And I am in the process of working on something new and exciting (more on that below!), so I think that’s where the dream is coming from. But oof, I really hate these dreams. I get so panicky about being pregnant and having to take care of a real, live human all by myself!

Watching…

Bridgerton, season 2 – I didn’t love season 2 as much as season 1. Season 1 gets 5 stars from me, and I’ll give the second season 3 stars. Some people preferred this season, but it was just missing a little bit of the magic that made season 1 so incredible. I’ve heard they may go out of order for season 3, so I’m really hoping we get Eloise’s story next.
Brooklyn 99 – I finally finished my rewatch! I didn’t love the final season. I understand why they did what they did with that season, but it felt a little phoned in at times. And final seasons always have a sense of melancholy to them.
Superstore, season 5 – I forgot that I was watching this sitcom! I’m speeding through season 5 and loving it. Such a great show.
Get Organized with The Home Edit, season 2 – I watched season 1 when I had just moved into my new apartment and it brought me great comfort when I was having a little bit of anxiety. I just started watching their second season and I’m loving it. Organization is something I love and this show just makes me want to quit everything and become a home organizer.

Listening to… The Trojan Horse Affair. It’s a new-ish podcast from Serial, hosted by Brian Reed of S-Town fame. I’m only a few episodes in and I’m enjoying it so far. I love short-form investigative podcasts like this! I don’t listen to enough of them because I can’t really do the true crime ones (my overactive imagination doesn’t mesh well with true crime). But this one has been very interesting!

Grateful… that I can take two really nice vacations this year without completely obliterating my budget. After spending so many years struggling with my finances and sometimes barely making enough to cover my bills, it feels so good to earn an income where I can easily pay my bills, have money to put into savings, and take really nice vacations. And I’m doing it all on my own (the single-person tax is real). I’m not used to having this level of comfort with my finances, and I don’t take it for granted at all.

Anticipating… two weeks off work in June. I will be spending the first half of those two weeks on my Niagara Falls vacation with my mom and the second half will be a little bit of a staycation for me. I am really looking forward to having such a long time off work—I think the last time I took this much time off was in 2019 when my mom and I went to Ireland. It feels almost irresponsible to take so much time off work, which is just the American way, I guess. (But no, I don’t feel guilty enough to rescind my PTO request. I’m taking those two weeks and I’m going to enjoy them!)

Struggling… with my bedtime. It’s like I need someone to come yell at me to TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND GO TO SLEEP. I used to be so diligent about my 9:30 bedtime, but working from home means I don’t have to get up as early so my bedtime has become loosey-goosey. And now that I’ve been using the Sleep Cycle app for a few months, I can see that I’m averaging around 6 hours of sleep a night, which is just not enough sleep for me. I really need to make it a priority to put my ideal nighttime routine into place so that I can start getting the right amount of sleep for my needs.

Thinking about… the difference between diet culture and healthy living. I want to make some changes to my overall diet (that is, what I eat on a daily basis) to stave off heart disease and even prediabetes, but it’s tricky to make sure I’m doing it from a place of love and compassion. I have spent so much time engaging in toxic patterns of diet cycling and then hating myself when I couldn’t live up to an impossible standard I set for myself (1200 calories a day, anyone?) Going on a diet is not something I care to do ever again, but I also know I need to overhaul what I’m eating to make sure I’m doing so in a way that will serve my overall health well into the future. Figuring out how to do that without engaging in anti-fatness rhetoric isn’t easy. But I’m determined to find the balance.

Needing… a pair of comfortable house slippers for standing. I’m still trying to get used to that sit/stand desk life, and one of the things I realized I needed is a pair of comfortable slippers so that I could have a little bit of support and cushioning when I’m standing. (Standing for hours in my bare feet on a hardwood floor is not so great for my feet and ankles.) I’ve been going back and forth on a few pairs on Amazon (current favorites here and here), so I just need to make up my mind!

Buying… podcasting equipment. I’ve been talking in vague terms about the creative project I’m working on with my friend Bri, and most of you have already guessed what it is. Yes, we’re starting a podcast! We’ve been in the planning stages for many months and we’re now ready to start recording some episodes. Bri found this great beginner’s podcasting kit (a microphone, pop filter, and headphones) for $90, so we snatched it up and started playing around with our new equipment last weekend. So far, we’re having fun and I’ll be sure to share all the details with you when we’re ready to release it out into the world!

Loving… mid-morning walks in 70-degree sunshine, chocolate ice cream cones, Wordle, springtime blooms, lazy Sundays where I don’t ever leave my apartment, when a duck is swimming in my mom’s pool, when I find Lila sleeping all snuggled up next to my… spin bike (how is that comfortable?!), three-paycheck months, Monday night dinners with Mom, and the way Ellie stretches out on my office chair for her evening naps.

What are you currently watching and anticipating?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 41)

The high of my week was book club where we all got to take turns snuggling baby Eleni! We met at Bri’s house and I was so happy that Mikaela was able to come with the baby. We all got to have our moment with her—she’s such a teeny tiny little gal (just 7 lbs at four weeks old)—and it was such a delight. Aside from all of the baby snuggles, we also taste-tested six different frozen pizzas (Screamin’ Sicilian and DiGiornio’s Rising Crust came out heads and shoulder above Red Baron Classic, Tombstone Original, and Totino’s Party Pizza). I am definitely going to start getting the Screamin’ Sicilian for my frozen pizza stash. It was excellent! (And yes, we did talk about the book, haha. We read The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune. Two people gave it 3 stars, one person gave it 4 stars, and the rest of us gave it 5 stars.)

The low of my week was going through some emotional turmoil, stemming from a really difficult therapy session. I think I forgot how much therapy can excavate old wounds that I thought were long healed and force me to look long and hard at all the ways I am letting those old wounds continue to affect the way I live my life. Maybe I’ll write a blog post about this soon, as there is so much to dig into and process, and it may be really cathartic for me to do so. Suffice it to say that I am feeling very tender and emotional, crying frequently (and I am not a crier by nature), and I think this is just something I have to go through in order to truly break free from some of my more toxic thought patterns and behaviors. But it still sucks and I hate it and I just want all of this emotional turmoil to be over with.

A blog post I enjoyed was Redefine the color nude by The Anti-Racism Daily. It’s embarrassing that when I received The ARD’s daily article yesterday, I realized I had never considered how harmful and white-centering the term “nude” is when referencing it as a color. After all, the color nude means something vastly different depending on your skin color and yet, most “nude” colors are for white skin tones.

“From dresses and underwear to bandages and cosmetics, descriptions of “nude-colored” or “flesh-colored” cater to those with fair skin. Even as moves to diversify commercially-used products grow, they fail to address how discriminatory design practices prioritize and center white bodies, making Black and Brown people an afterthought.”

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Cait Flanders: Purposeful Healing & Romancing Yourself on The Pop-Up Pod. Nothing like listening to a podcast episode on a Thursday morning and crying! This episode really spoke to me on so many levels, from Cait’s experience in romantic relationships, to setting boundaries with her mom that led to an estrangement, to learning how to let go of her people-pleasing tendencies that were impacting her relationships (romantic and not). It was as if Cait was pulling out the words from my soul and eloquently describing them in this podcast episode. It was exactly what I needed and the episode was such a healing one for me.

For my workouts, I completed a 30-minute strength workout on Monday (20-minute full body class with Rad Lopez and a 10-minute crushing arms and shoulders class with Daniel McKenna), a long walk outside on Tuesday, a 30-minute Cody Rigsby ride on Thursday, and a 30-minute Leanne Hainsby ride this morning.

The best money I spent was on a cruise deposit! Oops? I don’t know what made me log onto Royal Caribbean’s website and start poking around at cruises. But I did and they were running an incredible sale, and my mom was all, “Book it!” So I booked a birthday cruise. We don’t leave until November (the day before my birthday!) so we have a long, long time to go, but I am so stinkin’ excited. I used to cruise yearly before the pandemic (my last cruise was December 2019) and I have missed cruise life so, so much. I can’t wait to be back on a ship in 219 days! (But who’s counting?)

My plans this weekend include a massage this afternoon (yay!), spending Saturday afternoon with Bri to work on our creative project, game night with the fam on Saturday evening, and going for a 5K walk in a local park on Sunday morning. And Sunday is also Eloise’s 4th birthday! We will celebrate with a dish of wet food with a special topper and some prezzies. The cats never get wet food (they free-feed with dry food) so this is a special treat for them. 🙂

What was the high of your week?

Categories: Recurring Series

Snapshot of My Day | April 19, 2022

Time I woke up: 7:00 a.m. A “sleep in” day!

First thing I did upon waking: Lots of snuggling with the cats! Eloise was sleeping in the middle of my bed, which she hasn’t been doing lately, so I gave her lots of pets and told her how happy I was that she slept with me. And then because I was giving her so much attention, Lila jumped up on the bed to get petted and loved on, which I was very happy to oblige. Then I played the day’s Wordle (got it in 4).

Today’s weather: It was a pretty nice day today – sunny with a high of 81F. When I woke up, it was in the upper 60s and that was such a delightful surprise!

Something I spent money on today: $25 to restock the cats’ treats. They got a huge new carton of chicken-flavored Temptations as well as a new carton of tuna-flavored Greenies.

An out-of-the-ordinary thing that happened today: My apartment is right off a very busy highway and my desk faces this highway. Today, there was an undercover cop in a black truck parked on the highway who was pulling people over left and right for speeding. I counted 7 instances of the cop pulling people over in the span of a few hours. It was crazy!

Last thing I read (not on the Internet): Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake. This book is so stinkin’ cute.

Last thing I read (on the Internet): NGS’ blog post about what she wears during the spring to walk her dog. 🙂

Last text I sent: I sent my mom a picture of my bubble bath with three hands-up emojis. (I haven’t been able to take a bubble bath in two weeks thanks to my stitches. I got them out today and I’m so happy to have bubble baths back in my life!)

Last text I received: “Lol. If they’re made right.” From our book club group chat. We were talking about pizza in preparation for our frozen pizza taste test. (Our resident vegetarian Mikaela was talking about how Pizza Hut pepperoni was the hardest meat she had to give up, hehe.)

Last website I visited: Google. I was trying to figure out if there was a better descriptor for the highway I live off. (Aside from the actual name of it, of course; I just wasn’t sure if there was a better way to describe it.)

Last show I watched: My weekly episode of The Office so I can listen to today’s episode of Office Ladies when it drops!

Last thing I said: “Am I bugging you?” I said this to Ellie as I turned on the kitchen sink to wash some dishes. She was laying on a stack of reusable shopping bags near the kitchen sink. (The answer is yes because she immediately jumped down.)

Last thing I ate: A loaded baked potato! One of my favorite meals. (I add butter, cheese, bacon, and sour cream.)

What I was doing an hour ago: I was FaceTiming with my mom. We ended up chatting for 40 minutes!

What I will be doing an hour from now: Hopefully, I will be sound asleep. Or else I will be reading or listening to ASMR videos on YouTube.

Current whereabouts of other members of my household: Both cats are just moseying around the apartment and occasionally, one will try to pounce on the other. It’s their usual nighttime routine. 🙂

One thing I crossed off my to-do list today: I finally mopped the dining room and kitchen! That’s been on my to-do list for a week, I think. Oof.

*Snapshot of My Day inspired by Torrie