It’s been a while since we’ve had a virtual coffee date, friends! Let’s sit down with a drink—I’m sipping on an iced vanilla latte myself—and chat about what’s going on in our lives.

If we were having coffee today… I’d start the conversation by gushing about my podcast for a little while! I’m having way more fun with it than I thought I would, and it’s been even better to put it out in the world and hear how you guys are enjoying it! We’re starting to plan for season 2 and have a recording date scheduled for next weekend, which I’m very much looking forward to! And we have a creative brainstorming session to figure out some bits and pieces we want to put together for season 2 on Monday. This little passion project really has my whole heart at this point!

If we were having coffee today… I might talk about mental health. My anxiety has been in an up-and-down state these days. Some days, I’m fine. Other days, I’m not. I’m trying to do what I can to keep myself mentally well: taking my meds, going for walks, seeing my therapist, hanging out with friends/family, checking in with my moods, etc. But it’s exhausting to never know how I’m going to feel on a particular day. Or to do something that I think is going to be good for my mental health, but it turns out to cause me more anxiety. And there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to talk about all of this on my blog because oh my god, can I just get it together already? I have this incessant need to “win” my anxiety disorder and when it takes me down, I feel so defeated, as if I wasn’t strong enough to battle it like I should have. I feel as if I am letting other people down when my anxiety isn’t as stable as I want it to be. (Could I be any more of an Enneagram 9? Sigh.) I’m trying to be better about just letting my anxiety disorder be what it is and not be defeated by this up-and-down trajectory of symptoms. Easier said than done.

If we were having coffee today… I’d probably groan about how difficult dating is. Do you know that I was all set up to go on a date with someone and he canceled on me the day of the date? And that the next time I set up a first date with someone different, I logged into my Hinge profile to send a message the morning of the date, only to find out he had unmatched with me? Or that I’ve had four different lengthy and deep conversations through Bumble with women I really liked… only to get ghosted after a few days? Y’all, my self-esteem is not great right now. I feel undateable. I don’t know where to go from here but, oof. This return to dating apps has not been good for me.

If we were having coffee today… I might admit that I got myself in a bit of a pickle financially. I don’t really know how it happened but in the last month alone I’ve had to withdraw money from emergency savings to save myself from overdrafting in my checking account. I’ve mentioned before that I have two separate savings accounts: one is with my bank, and I try to keep $500 in that savings account so that I can quickly transfer money to my checking account if I don’t have enough in there to cover a bill. The other savings account is through CapitalOne, and that’s where I keep my various saving categories: emergency savings, pet savings, Christmas, etc. I built up a nice little nest egg in my emergency savings that I haven’t had to touch, but I got myself into a bit of a jam at the beginning of this month. With only $80 in my bank savings, I didn’t have enough to cover a bill that would be autodrafting from my checking account, so I had to dip into my CapitalOne emergency savings. Ugh! I’ve been doing so good at not living paycheck-to-paycheck, so it’s a bit demoralizing to have this happen. So, until I get my credit card fully paid off, my bank savings back to $500, and my emergency savings back to $3,000, I am on a slight shopping ban. It’s not a full-scale shopping ban because I am going to be here for, ehh, a few months I think. I’m giving myself $30 to spend each pay period. But I’m definitely saying no to any major purchases, unnecessary Ubereats orders, and retail therapy. I know I will feel so much better when everything is back to normal, and September is a three-paycheck month, which should really help!

If we were having coffee today… and I felt really comfortable with you, I might bring up some of the things I’ve been thinking about in regards to weight loss, dieting, and body image. Here’s my truth: I want to lose weight because I am not at a healthy weight and the last time I had bloodwork done, some of the numbers were concerning. For a while, I thought about rejoining WW for the 8th, 9th, 10th, who knows, time. But then I thought about how much I hate counting points, how demoralizing it is to have to restrict when I run out of points (yes, you can eat whatever you want, but you’re still restricting yourself to fit into a certain daily points range) (and also, ugh, I do not love that feeling of needing to exercise to “earn” extra points – NO). I just don’t have it in me to do that to myself again. I do believe that WW can work for many people; I’m just not one of them. I’m considering Noom, but I also don’t really love the idea of grading my food on a scale of good, neutral, and bad, because I don’t believe food is inherently good or inherently bad. I am most definitely not going to redownload My Fitness Pal and track every calorie I eat because that just leads me down a negative path. So what’s a girl with eating issues to do? I don’t have a solution here. I might end up trying Noom, especially because they keep sending me emails about getting 6 months free with a one-year subscription. Or maybe I just need to find small ways to add healthier foods into my diet. For example, I switched my breakfast from eggs and toast to string cheese and Greek yogurt. Instead of having a ton of different chocolates and Little Debbie snacks around, I have one bag of dark chocolates. I don’t love dark chocolate and can only eat a few at a time since it’s so rich, so it gives me the chocolate fix without tempting me too much. Is it enough? I don’t know. But I know I need to get serious about what I’m putting into my body because there’s nothing I want less than heart disease and diabetes.

If we were having coffee today… I would, of course, give you an update on the cats. My little ladies are doing great! Eloise has been loving my new habit of making my bed every morning, as I find her curled up on the bed all morning long. (However, she seems to take issue with the process of me making my bed, as she swipes at me with her claws while I’m doing it. I’m not a fan!) She’s also still demanding that I share the office chair with her while I’m working. She’ll stand on the arm of the chair until I move over to let her curl up next to me. I let her do it because I love the closeness! Lila has always been my shy, skittish kitty who hides under the couch when company is over. But she is so open, snuggly, and lovey with me. She lets me snuggle her close to my side in the morning when I’m in bed and has even started curling up next to me on the couch when I’m watching TV. That’s a new habit for her, as she used to be very particular about where she would sleep and didn’t want to be too close to me. She also loves licking the inside of my elbow, which isn’t always the most pleasant feeling with her rough tongue on such sensitive skin! But I let her do it because I’m a sucker and her cute lil face is hard to resist.

Whew! This turned into a very serious coffee date. Thanks for listening to me! Tell me what you would talk to me about on this coffee date. 🙂