Recurring Series

Looking Forward… the Fall 2018 Edition

I haven’t done one of these “Looking Forward…” posts since February 2017, so I think it’s definitely time to talk about some of the exciting things on the horizon for me:

Today, I’m looking forward to my afternoon nap.

Ha! I have been so tired this week, and I think it might have to do with my goal of walking 10,000 steps every day. I just don’t think my body is used to that much movement! I’m asking more of my body than I have in a really long time, and it’s letting me know it needs some rest to repair itself. So, I’m definitely trying to listen to my body and this weekend, while busy, should also be full of some long naps and restful nights.

This weekend, I’m looking forward to kayaking for the first time.

I’ve never been kayaking, can you believe that? And I live right next door to a nature preserve that has kayak rentals! So, on Sunday, my mom, my brother, and I are going to this preserve to go kayaking. It’s part of my mom’s Christmas present (she wanted us to do an activity together) that she’s finally cashing in on. I hope it’s a fun day and that we have great weather!

Next month, I’m looking forward to my first therapy appointment.

I finally got in touch with a therapist and finally got an appointment scheduled! I am really, really looking forward to this appointment and I hope I click with this therapist. I’ve been trying to keep a list in my phone of all the things I want to talk about because I completely spaced when I was on the phone with her, scheduling the appointment. She asked why I was seeking therapy and I was all, “Uh… anxiety? Relationship problems? Family issues?” It was not my finest moment, that’s for sure. Thankfully, she sent me an online form where I was able to list out exactly why I was seeking therapy, and I was able to better organize my thoughts that way.

This year, I’m looking forward to getting my next tattoo.

I always knew I wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate my love for Dutch, but the problem was that I didn’t know where to get it on my body. I wanted it in a location that was easy to hide, but also where I could see it often. And then, one day, it hit me exactly where to get it and now I keep picturing it there. So, I’m ready to get this tattoo and would probably go tomorrow to get it, if I could. It’s happening soon, though, and I can’t wait to show everyone when it’s done!

Next year, I’m looking forward to seeing the Grand Canyon in person.

I’m pretty stoked about this, and my mom is on board to make it our mother/daughter vacation for 2019. There will be lots to plan, but I’m really looking forward to that process. I just don’t think I can go another year without seeing this beauty for myself. It is time.

What’s something you’re looking forward to – big or small?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in August

Loving… my new goal of walking 10,000 steps every day. I officially sent in my cancellation notice to my gym, which meant I needed to figure out what I was going to do for exercise. Okay, that’s a lie because I haven’t even been using the gym, but making that decision to quit the gym prompted me to think about what I wanted to do for exercise. And I decided to dust off my FitBit and commit to walking 10,000 steps every day. It is a HARD goal and requires getting in a 30-45 minute walk every day. And also, it forces me to get up from my desk and take short walks outside throughout the day. But I am really enjoying this new challenge. It’s great for my mental health (fresh air! exercise! vitamin d!) and great for sleep because my body is so ready to rest after being in motion all day.

Loathing… SI joint pain. The unpleasant side effect of moving my body to the tune of 10,000 steps a day is that I’m experiencing some soreness and pain in my tailbone. I think it might be my SI joint (that’s what Dr. Google tells me), so I’m trying to do some light stretching after I take a long walk. It seems to be helping, but I also think it may be time for me to visit a chiropractor. I’ve wanted to visit a chiropractor for a really long time because I’m pretty sure my spine is all sorts of jacked up after spending almost a decade at a desk job, even though I’m kinda terrified it will be super painful. But this SI joint pain is also pretty damn painful, so if a chiro can figure it out for me and allow me to friggin walk without pain, it’s worth it.

Watching… the last season of The Office. Y’all. It’s been a struggle to get through this season. The writing is just not at the level I expect from this show, and I kinda hate all of the plotlines. I even stopped it around episode 8 or 9 to watch four seasons of Friends back to back. But I am determined to finish this series at long last! Only a few more episodes to go, and I’m pretty sure I’ll cry like a baby at the series finale. I’m also slowwwwly making my way through season 3 of Mad Men. There’s just something about this show that doesn’t have me on the edge of my seat to watch the next episode, but I also enjoy it when I’m watching it. It’s weird.

Listening to… Dirty John. I know, I know. I’m wayyyy behind on this true crime podcast, but I was a little wary to listen to it because true crime can be a little too much for me. As I suspected, this podcast has been a bit triggering for me, but in a way I didn’t expect. It’s not triggering because of the scary content, but because Dirty John is eerily reminiscent of my dad, right down to the threatening phone messages, blaming his failures on everyone else, and manipulating women. At this point, I’m over halfway done so I think I’ll power through and finish it, but ugh. Why are men so terrible?!

Anticipating… the start of football season. I am so ready for the new NFL season and to spend my Sundays at my mom’s watching the games with my brother. There’s truly nothing better than that!

Grateful… to be feeling the best I’ve felt in a really long time. I would say that this is probably the best I’ve felt in maybe a year? Life has just been hard in a lot of different ways since October, which is when my vet told me it was time to start seriously monitoring Dutch for quality of life. From October – February, I was in a constant state of stress because taking care of a geriatric, blind, deaf dog who had dementia was a lot of work, especially for one person. Not to mention, I was constantly worried about Dutch and trying to make every day as comfortable and happy for him as possible. Then, I had to let Dutch go, and, well, my grief process has been very well documented on this blog. It’s been rough learning to live without him, but I feel like I’m finally beginning to see the light and find my way out. It feels really good.

Needing… to put a ban on Amazon. It’s actually gotten worse and not better since canceling Prime because now I just buy enough to qualify for free shipping (which usually means I add a book to my cart because why not?) and then order. I’ve placed five separate orders in August alone (totaling at least $30 each time…), so I think it’s time for me to tackle a shopping ban in September. My credit card needs a break.

What are you watching and anticipating?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 55)

1) Lately, I’ve been feeling embarrassed about my older car and wishing I had something new and flashier. I hate having these moments of embarrassment because it’s fine to have an older car. There’s nothing morally better about having a newer model, and my car drives just fine right now. And also, I just got it paid off and there’s no way in hell I want another car payment right now. But still, there’s the sense of embarrassment that my car is 13 years old and is nearing 125,000 miles, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of newer cars. No Bluetooth or backup cameras or self-closing trunks. It’s old and slow. I’m trying to remind myself that a car is not a measure of financial stability. Those with newer cars aren’t better with their money than those with older cars. (In fact, it’s probably the opposite.) And this little old lady I’m driving is my first car, something I got on my own and paid off in full due to my own hard work. That’s something to be proud of.

2) I’ve been having a ton of anxiety when I’m driving on the highway. This is a problem since I have to drive on the highway to get to work. It usually appears right as I’m merging into traffic, which can often be a scary task for anyone with all of the cars flying by. And I know the anxiety is due to my recent highway snafus, with tire blowouts happening right during the morning rush hour. (The first tire blowout happened as I was merging, so there ya go.) I’ve never been a particularly fearful driver, which I know may seem crazy with how fearful I am about everything else in my life. It’s probably due to the defensive driving skills my dad taught me (hey, he was good for some things!) and I’m a pretty good driver as it is. So this highway anxiety is a new experience and I don’t like it at all. I’ve yet to have a straight-up panic attack, the kind where I have to pull over and calm myself down. But the signs are there – heavy breathing, racing heart, overheated body – and I have to take a lot of deep breaths and remind myself that I know what to do if something happens. I’ve done it twice already. I’m not really sure what more I can do to help myself through this anxiety, but I’d sure love for it to disappear any day now.

3) It looks like my days of wearing contacts are coming to an end. I had a feeling this was coming, due to my worsening astigmatism. I’ve had astigmatism for a while now, probably since my early college days, and I used to have no issue with contacts. I wore toric lenses, which are specifically designed for those with astigmatism, and never had an issue. But over the past year, wearing contacts (especially at work) was growing more and more uncomfortable. The contact would move around in my eye and get stuck in a position that made my vision blurry. So I’d have to constantly put rewetting drops in my eyes and move the contact around to get my clear vision back. It’s really annoying, and I talked to my eye doctor about it at my last appointment and he agreed with my assessment that wearing contacts for everyday use is probably not the best thing anymore. For most people with astigmatism, the contact can move around a bit and they can still see fine. But when you have really bad astigmatism, one simple rotation and you suddenly can’t see at all, which is what I’ve been experiencing. So, I’m going to switch to wearing glasses most of the time (the main reason why I bought prescription sunglasses finally!) and getting daily contacts to use when I don’t want to wear glasses.

4) I’ve been thinking about the next place I want to travel to. I thought about planning another cruise for the spring of 2019, and I might still do that, but what I would really love to do is see the Grand Canyon. It’s one of those bucket list items for me, something I’ve always dreamed of. I think it’s time to make it happen for me next year. I haven’t spent a ton of time researching about taking a trip to the Grand Canyon, just did some digging about where to stay for a trip like this, but I think I might dive into the research and planning more deeply in the next few months. (And yes, I would like allllll of your recommendations because I don’t really know what I’m doing here.)

5) August 28th is the midterm primary for Florida, and for some reason, I requested a mail-in ballot for the first time ever. I don’t even know why because we have the option for early voting and voting on election day isn’t really that big of a deal for me. (I could always work from home that day.) But I got my ballot in the mail a few weeks ago and have let it sit on my counter since then. Realizing that election day is imminent, I finally opened it up only to discover I had waited too long to fill it out and would have to go to a physical location to drop it off. Still, it was nice to fill it out in the comfort of my home and take my time looking at each candidate and position and making an educated vote. And, since I’m dropping it off instead of mailing it in, I should still get an “I Voted” sticker, and isn’t that the point of these elections? (Joking, of course.)

Where would you like to travel next?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 29)

The high of my week was receiving the clothes I ordered from Old Navy! After the disappointing ThredUp order (made even more disappointing when I found out they have a super strict return policy and I wouldn’t be able to return anything I got, ugh), I decided to place a small order at Old Navy (and hooray, they were having a 30% off sale when I did!) and got some new shirts that will be perfect for work. Even better – they fit perfectly and make me feel great. What can be better than that?! (Oh, I know – if any of the shirts didn’t fit right, I could easily return them at my local Old Navy.)

The low of my week was all the crappy food I ate. I just didn’t plan my meals well this week, and you know what they say: fail to plan and your plan will fail. So, I’m just taking this week as a loss and going to spend some time this weekend scoping out some healthy meals and spending Sunday in the kitchen meal prepping. (Please send me your ideas for healthy breakfasts and lunches! I’m in a huge rut.)

An article I loved was Stephen Miller Is an Immigration Hypocrite. I Know Because I’m His Uncle. by David S. Glosser. Hoo boy, was this a great article. (And can we say, family drama?! That’ll be a fun Thanksgiving table, ha.) But it really drove home the point that being against immigration is honestly hypocritical for just about everyone in the Trump administration because you’re being prejudiced against your own family history.

Trump wants to make us believe that these desperate migrants are an existential threat to the United States; the most powerful nation in world history and a nation made strong by immigrants. Trump and my nephew both know their immigrant and refugee roots. Yet, they repeat the insults and false accusations of earlier generations against these refugees to make them seem less than human.

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Jon Favreau on Armchair Expert. No, not that Jon Favreau. The political speechwriter Jon Favreau! You know, the one who is basically BFFs with Barack Obama. I’m obsessed with him and basically fan-girled hard when I saw him at Pod Tours America a few months ago. (He’s just so dreamy! And so damn smart and genuine it hurts.) If you love Favs as much as I do, please do yourself a favor and listen to this episode. Also, I found it super informative about how to talk to people who may hold similar political beliefs, but are more cynical and apathetic about them. Jon did a great job of really cutting to the heart of why politics should matter to everyone.

The best money I spent was $21 on dinner with some girlfriends. We went to a new-to-us taco place where I had some of the best tacos of my life, as well as chips, queso, and guac for the table. But as good as the food was, the conversation was even better and I left feeling oh-so-happy for these women in my life. They’re good ones.

My plans this weekend include working on some freelance assignments, a hair appointment where I’m hoping to get a much darker auburn color, game night with the fam, and enjoying a book club meeting at a friend’s pool. It should be a really, really great weekend and I’m looking forward to it so much!

What was the high of your week? The low?

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 6)

It’s been quite some time since my last Friday Questions post – five months, in fact! So I am overdue in going through some of the terrific questions that Nicole asks her guests on her Real Talk Radio podcast. Below are five more questions, some of which required a lot of thought in coming up with an answer. Enjoy!

1) What’s a habit you’d like to break? What’s a habit you’d like to build?

I’d love to break my habit of needing chocolate after lunch and dinner. It’s not a craving, but an ingrained habit that I have found so hard to give up. My body just… like… expects it, or something. I’d like to save chocolate as something special a few times a week, not something I eat multiple times a day.

As for a habit I want to build, I’d like to work on implementing a skincare regimen on a regular basis. I have all of the products I need: cleanser, toner, moisturizer. Even a Clarisonic! But I struggle to get on a regular habit of morning and nighttime face washing. I use a makeup wipe every night to take off my makeup, but that’s about the extent of my face washing. Every now and then, I’ll get on a kick where I do the morning and nighttime skincare routine for a few days in a row, and then I fall off the wagon. It’s just… a lot of work? And sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s helping much. (I swear I feel like I break out more when I’m regularly using my Clarisonic than when I’m not.)

2) When you look ahead to the next couple of months, what do you feel most excited about?

Getting a kitten! My goal is to adopt one in either September or October, once my living room is finally all put together. (Hoping to shop some Labor Day sales for my new couch.) I’ve been having a lot of bouts of loneliness lately, the kind of loneliness that comes with being completely alone in an apartment for hours on end. I never felt that way when I had Dutch around because he was my little buddy who kept me company. So, I know it’s time for me to adopt a cat and have a little four-legged friend with me again. I cannot wait to enter the world of being a cat lady! Bring it on.

3) What’s something you do to inspire or encourage yourself when you’re feeling defeated?

It helps to step away from whatever is making me feel defeated. Is it my dating life? Delete the apps. Is it my writing? Work on something else. Is it social media? Take a break. Is it work? Find things outside of work to bring me joy and fulfillment.

I also think actually talking about it and speaking truth to my feelings of defeat helps to lessen its impact. When I’m feeling defeated because my anxiety feels unmanageable, I’ll get on Instagram Stories to say so, and the responses I get always make me feel better. Like I’m not the only person feeling overwhelmed by my own thoughts. Sometimes, talking about my lack of dating prospects or diet struggles with my friends helps me to see that I’m getting too in my head about things and that I am a lovely person whether or not I’m dating or losing weight.

4) What’s something you really love about yourself?

I love how funny I am! I’m the girl who is always making my friends laugh and keeping things light-hearted with jokes and sarcastic comments. I feel like my humor doesn’t really come across in my writing, but basically, all I do with my friends is tell jokes and make them laugh.

5) What’s a time when you quit something and it was absolutely the right decision?

When I decided to change my major from elementary education to communications. I was nearly done with my education degree (just had to do a semester of student teaching), but after failing a student teaching internship, I realized that teaching was not where I was meant to be and I changed my major. It was a hard decision at the time because it meant another 2-3 years of schooling, but it was the right move for me. I was able to graduate with a major that was much more aligned with my skill set and now I have a job that I really love. I don’t think I would have ever been happy as a teacher.

Tell me something you really love about yourself!