Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 44)

1) First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who has offered their condolences for the loss of my grandma. The past week and a half have been the worst of my life, and it’s been the support from family and friends that have helped me get through it. I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat now – just a hug can make me start bawling! Grief is a weird business, and I feel like I’m only at the beginning of it.

2) I’m really glad I decided to go to the hospital with my mom two Sundays ago when we found out my grandma had been admitted back. It was the last time I was able to have a real conversation with her. And she looked amazing then! She ate an entire bowl of broth and a pudding cup, was able to conversate easily, etc. And the last conversation I had with her was her asking me how my new apartment is. This lady was in the hospital battling an infection and she still wanted to hear all about my life. That’s who my grandma was in a nutshell. Always concerned about others, always interested in their lives.

3) At my grandma’s memorial, as my grandpa went up to her casket to say his last goodbyes, his words to her were: “Four days in heaven, Barbara. How awesome is that?” The strength of his faith has always amazed me, but he’s blowing me away with how he’s handling this loss. Of course, he’s devastated, but he still has hope and faith and trust. It’s incredibly inspiring.

4) Here’s a Bible verse my cousin found that has brought me great comfort this week: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) For anyone going through a hard time, whether grieving a loved one, a dream, a relationship, I hope that verse also brings you hope.

5) I’ve been so drained this week, so emotionally exhausted. I’m ready to have a low-key and relaxing weekend. My only plans are to watch my nephew’s soccer game on Saturday afternoon and hang out with my brother watching football on Sunday. Lots of sleep, TV watching, and reading on the docket, exactly what I need!

I need to hear something cheerful. Tell me something good that happened with you this week!

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently, the September Edition

Feeling… little bouts of anxiety here and there. I’m still not fully myself, but I’m getting there. Little by little, this new life will start feeling less scary.

Reading… Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. At 477 pages, this one is going to take me a while.

Happy… that my grandma is recovering well from her surgery on Thursday. I was so glad to see her on Saturday and am hoping that her tests today go well and she can finally start eating actual food. (Because she lost a lung, there’s a chance she could aspirate when swallowing, so she’s been on an NPO diet (i.e., she cannot eat or drink anything orally). She’s been getting potassium and sugar through an IV, but can’t even have a sip of water! Poor lady.

Listening to… some new podcasts, including Magic Lessons, Real Talk Radio, and Hidden Brain.

Anticipating… my hair appointment on Friday. Hair appointments make me so happy. They are relaxing and I always leave with cute hair. Yay!

Watching… all of my favorite TV shows! I love premiere season. Some new ones I’m trying: Life in Pieces, Quantico, Scream Queens, The Grinder, and Code Black.

Planning… some goals to accomplish in the last quarter of 2015. I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of this year! I have enjoyed this year, but I want to end it with a bang – so I’m setting some big goals to accomplish.

Wondering… if my stuffy nose has anything to do with my acid reflux. I was on 40 mg of generic Prilosec for 30 days, and after 30 days, I bumped down to 20 mg (per doctor’s orders). But then I wound up with a stuffy nose. It feels suspiciously how I felt when I had a sore throat for a month (no symptoms, hurt the most when I woke up, etc.) I couldn’t find much information on my theory, but I bumped myself back up to 40 mg yesterday and… no stuffy nose. Coincidence? I don’t know, but I’m going to continue and see what happens.

Waiting… for my new iPhone to arrive! I’ve been hemming and hawing over getting a new phone, but finally decided to bite the bullet and do it. I’ve had this current phone for over two years now and for something I use as much as I use my phone, a new one is just a good idea. I can’t wait for it to arrive!

Frustrated… by my lack of motivation when it comes to healthy eating and exercise. I know part of it is due to feeling sad and dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, and I’ve just been trying to take it easy and get lots of sleep. But I also know that eating better and exercising will only help my anxiety and get me on the path to feeling better. Must try harder!

Loving… kind people checking in on me, Dr. Pepper, a new beautiful pool to enjoy, Football Sundays, and salted caramel mochas.

What are you currently reading, anticipating, and frustrated by?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 18)

The high of my week was my grandma’s successful surgery. A few weeks ago, my grandma had a PET scan and found out the chemotherapy she’d been on for the past months and months had not been working. (Her tumor had not shrunk at all.) Her options were surgery or a more aggressive form of chemo (which, with the way the less aggressive chemo she had been on had affected her wasn’t really a viable option). So, she opted for surgery, which was yesterday. Her tumor was wrapped around her pulmonary artery, so it was very likely that the surgeon would go in and find out he couldn’t remove the tumor. Thankfully, though, the surgeon was able to remove the tumor, but he had to do so by removing her entire left lung. So that’s a little scary, but it was the best option and hopefully, once the recovery process is complete, my grandma is back to her old self!

The low of my week was dealing with a stuffy nose every morning! I don’t know what’s going on, but every single morning this week I have woken up with a completely stuffed-up nose. I even bought some nasal decongestant spray because it’s been so bad. Just a few sprays completely clears me up… until the next morning. I don’t know what’s going on because I don’t have a cold… I’m not sure if it’s just the new place and getting used to new air? (Is that even a thing?!) I hope it clears up (ha) soon because it’s very annoying to deal with.

I’m currently reading Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson. I’m reading it for the poetry category for the Book Riot reading challenge, but I’m not really enjoying it. It’s beautifully written, but I’m just not a poetry person, I guess.

An article I really enjoyed was this story about a man who has built a train for his rescue dogs. I mean, really. Could this story be any cuter? The video slayed me.

The best money I spent this week was $12 on a hook rail to hang up keys and Dutch’s harness/leash. My roommate and I needed something to keep that stuff in one convenient location, so I’m very happy with the purchase. Bonus: it’s super cute!

My plans this weekend include a pedicure and dinner date tonight with my roommate and her friend that is coming into town this afternoon. Tomorrow, I want to spend some time at the pool, finish decorating the apartment, visit my grandma, and have dinner with my mom and stepdad. And then Sunday, I’m meeting up with my friend to write and spending the rest of the day watching football with my brother. Happy Friday!

What was the highlight of your week?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 17)

The high of my week was Dutch adjusting easily to his new home. I’ve had a few people ask me how he is doing and I’m happy to report he is handling this change much, much easier than me. I was worried he was going to spend his days crying in my apartment and annoy the neighbors, but he’s been on his best behavior! He’s bonding with my Roomie and it lessens my anxiety tremendously that he has taken this change in stride.

The low of my week was dealing with this adjustment period of living with a roommate. My roommate herself is amazing and I love her to death. She’s been very accepting of my anxiety and given me a lot more grace and kindness than I’ve been giving myself. Still, this week has been a very tough one and there have been many, many tears. This is a big life change for me, and change is my #1 anxiety trigger, so I should have expected this to be a lot harder than I anticipated. But there’s just something about being in the anxiety and living through it that feels so discouraging. I am doing better today than I was on Sunday/Monday, so I can only pray this new life situation starts to feel more normal and less terrifying as the days and weeks go on.

I’m currently reading Flat-Out Celeste by Jessica Park. I was reading Stiff by Mary Roach to fulfill the microhistory category for the Book Riot reading challenge, but it wasn’t grabbing my attention and was just putting me in a downer mood. That’s when I realized that what I really need right now when it comes to my reading life is books that are fun to read and light-hearted. AKA, all of the romance and YA I can get my hands on. This book is exactly what I need.

A blog post I enjoyed was 7 Ways to Calm Unemployment Anxiety by my friend Linda. This post was perfect timing for me (you could honestly retitle this “7 Ways to Calm New Living Situation Anxiety” and it would just about work perfectly). This post was so insightful and it has helped me take a step back and reevaluate things.

The best money I spent this week was $3 on my new favorite mug (pictured above)! Isn’t it perfect?

My plans this weekend include spending Friday afternoon with some of my favorite coworkers to celebrate two birthday girls, writing with my friend on Friday evening, unpacking and reorganizing all day Saturday, going to my nephew’s birthday party on Sunday afternoon, and taking my roommate out for dinner to celebrate her birthday on Sunday evening. Whew! It shall be a busy weekend indeed.

What was the highlight of your week?

Categories: Recurring Series

A Weekend in Pictures: The Moving Edition

Right after work on Friday afternoon, my roommate and I drove to our new apartment to pick up our keys! We were very excited, as evidenced in the above photo. We moved in a few of our boxes and then took a trip to the happiest place on earth – IKEA – so Roomie could buy a TV shelf and coffee table for our new place. It was quite an interesting experience trying to fit two super-long boxes and one square-shaped box into her Jetta. With the use of a bungee cord and me using skills I didn’t know I had to shove a box in the back of her car, we made it work. And drove s-l-o-w-l-y back home. Then, I did a quick shopping trip at my new Publix so I’d have food for next week (and won’t have to shop during the week, which I hate). By that time, it was nearly 6 p.m., and I still had packing to do (!), so I high-tailed back to my side of town.

It was time to get serious about packing on Friday night. I had packed up most of my stuff the weekend before but still had to pack up things I had left for the last minute – like clothes, bathroom items, etc. My first night in the new apartment would be Sunday, so I still had to keep a few items unpacked, but packed up about 95% of my stuff! If you’re also planning to move, hiring a professional moving company like Three Movers is highly recommended especially if you have a lot more things to do.

Saturday morning, I was up early because it was moving day! My brother and my mom pitched in to help me move all my big items (namely: my dresser and bed, as my roommate would be supplying the couch and dining room table). It was a super smooth move (even with a bit of rain while loading and unloading) and within 3 hours, we had finished our move! After that, we headed back to St. Pete to drop off the U-Haul, have lunch, and complete a few errands.

In the afternoon, I ventured back to my new apartment with Dutch in tow (so he could get used to the new place before coming back for good the next night!), where I spent a few hours unpacking boxes and taking slow walks with Dutch outside. I managed to unpack my kitchen boxes, got my bathroom put together, and unpacked a few things in my bedroom – making my bed and unpacking my clothes, mostly.

After a few hours at the new place, Dutch and I went back to St. Pete for the night. And I soaked my feet in a foot massaging bath and it. was. the. best. I needed it so much – my feet were killing me – and it really helped.

Sunday morning – after helping me move! – my mom ran a 5k. She did awesome! She’s been working super hard with her running pace and it’s been really showing. (She finished about 6 minutes faster than she did at our Savannah 5k in March!) Yay, Mom!

We celebrated my brother’s birthday on Sunday afternoon! We watched some football and ate some good food, like the above delicious cookie cake. I’m typically not a huge cookie cake fan, but this one (from Publix!) might have changed my mind. Soooo good!

And then, on Sunday evening, Dutch and I spent our first night in our new home. I’m struggling big time right now with this change, and I knew I would, but it just feels so much bigger and so much harder. I’m being reminded of my time in college a lot right now, which just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I thought I was past this, you know? Sunday night was tears, tears, tears. It’s hard when home doesn’t feel like home. I know it will soon and I just need to get past this, but I’m trying to be okay with not being okay right now. Feeling very grateful to have my buddy Dutch along for the ride, though. This would be a million times harder without him.

How was your weekend? Anybody else feel completely off-kilter when a big change – even good change! – happens? How do you deal?