Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v.3)

Happy Friday, friends! I don’t have too much going on this weekend, and I’m glad for it. A writing date with a friend and football with the fam is all I have on my agenda, but I think I’ll still find a way to fill my weekend with good things. Even if those good things are naps and episodes of Grace and Frankie. 🙂

Today, I’m continuing the Friday Questions series I started a few months ago, using questions posed at the end of the episodes of the Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!

1) What’s your favorite way to start your day?

I love starting my day with a good workout, mostly because I want to get it out of the way as soon as possible and it feels so good to sweat first thing in the morning! I love my weekends because I go to the 9:15 AM spin class and that’s so perfect – I can sleep in and eat a filling breakfast before going to class, and I’m not half-asleep when I begin like I am for my 5:45 AM spin classes. Or if I’m not going to spin class, starting my day with a long walk while listening to a podcast is perfection for me.

2) What’s something that’s recently sparked your curiosity that you’d love to learn more about?

Gosh, something that has sparked my curiosity feels a little TMI to talk about, but deep breaths, here goes: sexual journeys and how different they are for everyone. I grew up thinking that sex outside of marriage was wrong on every level, and a lot of the teachings in the church center around women keeping themselves pure and virginal for their future husbands. And I think that really messed with my head, and it took me a long, long time to understand that having a sexual journey is healthy and normal and fine. No matter what that journey looks like, whether that’s a lot of partners, one or two partners, or just yourself.

My curiosity was sparked when I listened to a Call Your Girlfriend episode about this, where they answered a listener question for someone who is 22 and hasn’t even begun her “sexual journey,” as she called it and was wondering if she was weird. And, gosh, the podcast hosts were so kind and compassionate to this listener and it got me really thinking about what sexuality means and how different it is from person to person.

(I’m really scared to publish my thoughts on this topic, but I’m just going to do it because we have to have these conversations. I want to have these conversations.)

3) Which common piece of advice do you happily ignore?

Probably, “live every day as if it’s your last.” Or, YOLO. I think about this a lot when I choose a nap over spending time out by the pool. Or a Friday night watching Netflix instead of going out on a date. Life is fleeting, you should be DOING MORE, I sometimes think to myself. But really, I just need to do what feels right to me at the moment. I don’t think I’ll reach the end of my life and regret all the naps I took because, hell, naps make me ridiculously happy. I don’t think I’ll regret not going out on more dates because dating isn’t fun for me and usually just leaves me feeling empty and sad. (Netflix, on the other hand, gives me great joy.) To be clear, there is a balance and I do try to put myself out there and go outside and explore my surroundings, but it’s also okay to not live every day as if it’s your last and think you’re going to regret not getting out there more. I just don’t think that’s true. At least not for me.

4) What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Trashy romance novels, hot bubble baths, Frappuccinos, long afternoon naps, the Target Dollar Spot, snuggling with Dutch, frozen Hershey Kisses, raw cookie dough. It’s hard to pick a favorite guilty pleasure. I have so many!

5) What do you want to be known for?

I want to be known as someone who was never afraid to be vulnerable and let people inside. I want to be known for being a great listener, the person that my friends know they can come to when they need to vent or talk about what’s going on in their lives. I want to be known as someone who gives good advice, but also knows when to just listen and offer support. I guess it all boils down to my relationships and being the best friend that I can be to my people.

Tell me some of your favorite guilty pleasures!

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in September

Loving… how fast my new iPhone got to me! I ordered it on the 15th and it was delivered this Wednesday. It doesn’t feel different from my 6s at all, except that the camera is much better. And it’s nice to not be in danger of running out of space! Wheeeee. I’m still waiting for my Otterbox case to be delivered, so I’m treating the phone like it’s worth a million dollars, but I’m happy that it’s here and it’s fun to play with. 🙂

Loathing… Dutch’s nighttime cry-barks. It’s this weird thing he’s started doing where he walks around my apartment and whines and then, from time to time, lets out this high-pitched part-cry, part-bark. He rarely barks anymore as it is, so it’s really weird to hear it come out of him. I keep wondering if my neighbors think I beat him at night! I think it might be a way for him to say, “I’m ready for bed!” because usually when I pick him up and put him on my bed, he settles down quickly. Ugh, it’s so hard seeing him get old. I feel like I’m forgetting what he used to be like – when he was super active and able to jump up and down off furniture and went to sleep easily and wasn’t bumping into walls or getting stuck in corners. We’re in this weird, new normal now and I’m not sure I like it, but there’s nothing I can do about it. The sad reality is that our dogs get old and all we can do is have compassion for them and help them be as comfortable during this stage.

Reading… Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan, still. I’m almost finished! I’m enjoying the book a lot, but it’s not a page-turner (more character-based than plot-based), so it’s easy to set it aside or only read a chapter or two a day. And it’s 416 pages, so it’s not a quick read at all. But I’m positive I’ll finish it either today or tomorrow. Woohoo!

Watching… season four of Parks and Rec. This show is so wonderful and well-written, and I just watched the episode where Leslie’s campaign managers quit and the rest of the Parks department steps up to help her with her campaign, and ugh, my heart. I’m thoroughly enjoying my rewatch of this series.

Anticipating… Asheville in six weeks! We started planning this trip in the spring, so it always felt so far away. But it’s starting to get real and I cannot wait to spend a long weekend with my best girls, exploring this gorgeous city. I’m also looking forward to experiencing cooler weather! Florida doesn’t get any semblance of fall (we’re still in the nineties here), so I’m ready to feel a chill in the air and warm myself by a fire. Yes, please!

Thinking about… my next cruise, which will be #10 for me. Last weekend, my mom and I ended up booking a seven-day cruise for the end of April. We even sprung for a balcony room because, hell, it’s my 10th cruise and I am going all of 2016 without a cruise and I want to live it up. This cruise leaves out of Port Canaveral and sails to the Bahamas, Belize, Honduras, and Mexico. It’s going to be the best week ever and I’m already counting down the days!

Needing… to make a decision about my 30th birthday party. I’m going back and forth on whether I want to have a full-blown traditional 30th birthday party where I invite a ton of friends and reserve a clubhouse and have food brought in… or if I want to just invite a small group of my closest gal pals and either have dinner at a fancy restaurant or meet up at a friend’s for a low-key game night. Honestly, the second option is so much more my speed and will be much cheaper than the traditional route. I guess I have to dig into why I felt the need to have a traditional 30th birthday party in the first place.

What are you currently reading and anticipating?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 22)

The high of my week was dinner with my girlfriends on Monday night. It was so nice to get together with them and chat about how we all were doing following the storm. They kept me sane during the hurricane and I don’t know what I would have done without them!

The low of my week was feeling uninspired. It’s been a weird week for me emotionally. Maybe I’m still recovering from the emotional turmoil the hurricane put me through (which makes me feel like a whiny baby when I see what Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria have done to Puerto Rico). But I haven’t felt like working out, and even going to spin class feels like a chore. I haven’t felt like cooking or eating healthy. I haven’t felt like being around people. I’m just this gray ball of gloom right now. I’m trying to give myself grace and just let myself be gloomy and moody, but I’m really hoping I snap out of this funk soon.

I’m currently reading Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. This is the September pick for my work book club and it’s been a book that I’ve been wanting to read for a while, but I don’t think I would have gotten around to it anytime soon, if not for book club. I’m only about 50 pages in so far, but I’m enjoying it!

A blog post I loved was this post by Girl’s Gone Child. The post was everything to me. It was about raising feminist children and being a feminist and fighting for what you believe in and rape culture and speaking your truth even when it hurts. Please go read it.

Guilt will not absolve us of our crimes, of course. We must work together to change the narrative. We must fight against our own implicit bias. We must recognize our shadows and face them head on. We must be willing to break our children of their innocence so that across town, children in REAL DANGER can be safe.

We must be willing to call ourselves out…

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Episode 0: Genesis by Good Christian Fun. This is a brand-new podcast hosted by Kevin T. Porter, he of Gilmore Guys fame, and I think it’s exactly what I need. This podcast explores Christian pop culture, something I am super familiar with. As most people know, I grew up in the church and Christian pop culture was all the rage in the 90s/early 2000s. In my house, we solely listened to Christian radio (even knowing the lyrics to a Britney Spears song was blasphemy) and a good chunk of the books I read (especially in my late teens and early twenties) were Christian based. So, I think I will find a lot to relate to in this podcast and I can’t wait to fully dive into the episodes!

The best money I spent this week was on the new iPhone 8! I probably wouldn’t have bothered getting a new phone just yet (I have the 6S), but my current phone doesn’t last more than 3-4 hours before the battery dies. My plan was just to get a new battery for the phone since it works fine otherwise, but I realized that I also need a phone with more space (my phone only has 16gb and let me tell you, that is not enough space, even for someone who doesn’t use a ton of apps!). So I bit the bullet and got the iPhone 8 with 64gb and it should be delivered sometime next month. My plan is to keep that phone until it dies a tragic death – hopefully, four or five years from now, ha.

My plans this weekend include a writing date with my friend, M., and my nephew’s birthday party on Sunday afternoon. He turns NINE on Monday, which is crazy to me. How did he get so old? Other than that, the weekend should be fairly low-key for me, which is exactly what I need. Hoping it’s a rejuvenating one for everyone!

What was the high of your week? What are you currently reading?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in July

Loving… that I was able to renew my lease at my apartment and my rent is only increasing by $25 a month! Hooray! I definitely have no plans to move apartments for a good while—I’d like to stay here for another few years and perhaps look for a place to buy after that. (Though I’m not sure how I’d ever come up with the money for a down payment, so who knows if that will ever be a reality for me!) But I am happy with where I live and happy the rent didn’t increase astronomically. And I know my brother will be super excited when I tell him he doesn’t have to help me move this year!

Loathing… how old Dutch has been acting lately. Everything just seems harder for him now and it breaks my heart. Thankfully, he’s on medication to help with his arthritis pain and nighttime restlessness and that really seems to be helping him settle down and sleep through the night. (I’ve only had one late night with him since he started the meds and that was because we were at my mom’s for the night and I think he was just disoriented.) One of his newest mannerisms that he’s been doing for the last few months is just sitting in my room and staring at the wall (usually shaking). He bumps into walls and such. He’s just old and there’s not much I can do about that because he’s healthy in every other respect. He has the energy to go on walks (not long walks, mind you) and he eats and drinks normally and he’ll play with me from time to time. This is just the time in a dog’s life that’s the hardest, to see them slowing down and aging. All I can do is keep loving him and making sure these last few years of his life are comfortable and happy. And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think I’m doing that very well.

Reading… Evicted by Matthew Desmond. It’s a book about poverty and the housing crisis, and just how hard it is for people who live at or below the poverty line to find affordable housing. This is a subject that has particular personal resonance with me because I grew up poor (not poverty poor, but poor nonetheless) and I grew up well familiar with what an eviction notice means. I’ve heard rave reviews of this book and even just 100 pages in, I can see why. Desmond writes in such an engaging way and I got sucked into this book immediately.

Watching… Big Brother! It’s my favorite summertime show. Big Brother is a huge time commitment because it’s on three times a week, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. (I’d watch it seven days a week!) This season is really good and I’m really enjoying all of the houseguests and all of the accompanying drama.

Anticipating… my upcoming social media and blogging break. Honestly, up until last weekend, I wasn’t even planning on taking a break, but something flipped in me and I realized how much I’m desiring to get away. Even so, I keep going back and forth on whether or not I want to really take a break because I do really enjoy social media and writing for this blog. But it’s also good for me to just get away and stop checking Twitter every time I’m in line at the grocery store or scrolling through Instagram when I’m laying in bed at night. And it’s good for my blog overall to step back and reevaluate what I’m writing about and how I’m conveying my message. It’s good for me, even if I do start craving the blog and my social media feeds about halfway through the month.

Thinking about… using my upcoming blogging break to do some sort of NaNoWriMo exercise. I’m way behind on my novel and I just can’t find the time to write aside from the two hours I spend with my writing partner each week. Scratch that. I’m not making the time. I’m only writing around 1,000-2,000 words a week and I’m over 10,000 words behind where I should be at this point in the year. So maybe August will be a good time to charge myself with writing around 1,500 words a day. I’m still rolling the idea around in my head, so we’ll see what happens!

Needing… to start making plans for my 30th birthday party. I have a friend who is helping me and we just keep pinning ideas to our secret board on Pinterest, but we need to sit down to discuss who I’ll be inviting, what kinds of decorations and games to play, what to serve for food and drinks, etc. I’ve never actually planned a party like this, so I have no idea what to do, but luckily, my friend is more than adept at this kind of stuff hence why I recruited her. (And also, she won’t let me call the whole thing off just because I’m feeling insecure that nobody will actually come to my party, ha!)

What are you currently loving, loathing, and reading?

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 2)

Happy Friday, friends! I took today off so I could take my mom for a routine medical procedure—fingers crossed everything turns out A-OK for her! I’m hoping to get some freelance work done while she’s busy with that and the rest of my weekend should be a good one: dinner with Mom, a haircut, and game night with the fam. Woohoo!

Today, I wanted to continue the “Friday Questions” series that I started last month, using questions posed to the guests on Real Talk Radio. Let’s dive in!

1) Do you have any specific regrets that you live with and, if so, what have you found to be the best way to handle regret?

Oh, hell yes. I really wish I was one of those people who didn’t have regrets, but I’m not. I have them, I try to make peace with them, but it’s hard. I regret living in a dorm instead of an apartment during my first year of college because I think I would have had a more positive experience. I regret some of the financial mistakes I’ve made and waiting so long to start a 401k. I regret letting a boyfriend walk all over me and take advantage of me. I don’t think I have any regrets that are massive—just little things that make me wonder if I’d approached the situation differently, what would my life be like now?

But the way I handle these regrets is to realize that everything that happens is meant to happen, and I was meant to go through these situations so I could be the woman I am today. Take the boyfriend as an example. Having that experience and realizing how quickly I can change my tune to please other people has helped me to be more assertive in my dating life and set expectations early on.

I think it’s human nature to have regrets. The important thing is to recognize them for what they are and to learn from them.

2) What are you most excited about right now?

To be completely honest, what’s exciting me the most right now is knowing I’ll be able to pay my credit card off very soon (mid-August at the latest). I am thankful that I picked up a freelance assignment that is going to provide me with enough income to pay it off, and then I can get back to funneling money into my emergency fund. This isn’t the sexiest answer, I know, but it’s the truthful one. The thing is, I had this darn credit card paid off earlier this year, but then my trip to Puerto Rico happened and some unexpected bills popped up and I wasn’t freelancing and and and and and. It is what it is, but I would really like to stop funneling all my freelance income to my credit card. I’d really like to use it to fund my emergency savings and pay off my lowest student loan debt. I just have to get smarter about how I spend my money (and probably finally invest in the You Need a Budget system because apparently I really do).

3) Which one or two books have had the biggest impact on you?

The book that I always recommend to people because of the way it affected me is A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. It’s a heartbreaking book, but also one filled with so much hope and truth about the human spirit. It’s also so eye-opening to realize how difficult it is to be a woman living in an oppressed country like Afghanistan.

For nonfiction, I always recommend The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal. This book blew me away, giving me so much insight into the brain and the way we react to willpower. Also, McGonigal has such a fun writing style and her writing is super accessible.

I’d also add This is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel, which is a recent read that quickly made its way to the top of my “must reads” list. I am recommending it to everyone. And, of course, how can I not include the Harry Potter series? That series will always be one that impacted me so deeply on such a grand scale.

(Okay, that’s three books + one series. I’m a bookworm, what can I say? I can’t choose just one or two books!)

4) How do you think about the idea of work/life balance?

I am very fortunate to work at a job that doesn’t require overtime or working on the weekends. I’m not expected to monitor my email 24/7 or be available at all times. I can leave my work at work. There are times when I have worked on the weekends to meet a deadline, but I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to do that in my four years in my current position.

The times when work/life balance becomes tricky is when I feel like I spend all of my weekends in freelance writing mode. There’s no time for my hobbies, like writing for this blog, fiction writing, reading, spending time with friends and family, etc. I love the freelance writing I get to do, but I also have to be careful not to take on too much, because I don’t want my entire life to revolve around work.

I honestly do not believe that work/life balance is a myth. I think it’s wholly achievable. Of course, I say this as a single person who doesn’t work in an intense field. But still, I think it’s achievable and it’s about setting boundaries and priorities.

5) How do you manage multiple passions/projects?

Currently, I could break my passions into three categories: reading, my blog, and my novel. Reading is typically my top priority because it’s my #1 self-care habit and my favorite way to relax. I try to write two posts a week for my blog and I’ve only missed that goal three times (one being when I was away on vacation) this year, so that’s definitely my second priority. This means writing my novel is last on my priority list (when, really, it should probably be first).

So, how do I manage my three passions? It’s more difficult on some weeks than others. I’ve built my life around these passions, allowing for plenty of free time to read and write (which, in essence, means a lot of alone time, ha). I just try to juggle as best as I can. I have a word count goal I try to reach every week for my novel, a weekly post goal for my blog, and an annual book count goal for reading. These goals keep me motivated and give me something to strive for. I work hard to meet them. And I give myself grace when I don’t because, at the end of the day, my life won’t fall apart if I miss a blog post or only write half of the words I wanted to write.

What are you most excited about right now?