My Beige Flags

We all have our beige flags. They are not toxic traits like red flags, nor are they all that positive like green flags. They are the quirks of our personality that is probably a little annoying to other people, but not enough to be troublesome. Here are some of my beige flags:

1) I can’t fall asleep unless I’m listening to an ASMR video on YouTube.

I’ve become addicted to ASMR to help me fall asleep at night. My favorite videos are “role plays” where a creator pretends she’s working at the front desk of a hotel, in a grocery store line, or checking out books at a library. They are so soothing with the quiet voices, clicky-clacky keyboards, and crinkly sounds of bags and books being handled. I don’t have to even look at the videos; I just turn them on, place the phone on my bed, and snuggle in to listen and fall asleep.

Oh! One of my new favorite ASMR accounts is a woman who paints these gorgeous scenes on canvas. Her melodic voice and the brush strokes and all the little sounds happening as she mixes colors… heaven. She’s one of those accounts where I have a dozen videos where I’ve only watched 5-10 minutes because I fall asleep so quickly.

2) I take forever to respond to text messages.

Please don’t count on me to respond to text messages in a timely manner. I’m the friend who barely interacts on a group message because I’ll pick up my phone, see 100 texts in a group chat (half of those being reactions), and quickly scroll through to get that red notification off my app. And for 1:1 convos, I will often see the message, need a minute to think of my response, and then realize it’s been hours and my friend is still waiting on me. I will respond, but I am terrible at keeping a swift convo going through text.

3) I *have* to drink Gatorade with my pills in the morning.

Water is so gross to me in the morning. There’s something about all those nighttime germs running around inside my mouth, and even after brushing my teeth, I just cannot handle water until mid-day. For years, I’ve been taking my morning pills with purple Gatorade, which I know isn’t a great alternative (hello, sugar and acidity!), but I like to tell myself it’s better than taking my pills with soda.

However, I’ve been dealing with some hardcore heartburn lately, and I think it’s going to be time to train myself to take my pills with water. Maybe I could switch to taking them at night?! IDK.

4) I like to say things like “Don’t mind if I doo-zers!” when I find a parking space up front.

I’d kill it as a middle-aged dad. Sometimes I think those Progressive, “don’t end up like your parents” commercials were made for me.

5) I am overly affectionate with the animals around me.

The first time I saw a Reel from the most affectionate vet in the world, I felt seen. This is me around any animals I see. I want to devour them with my love. I tell them immediately that they are my very best friend and that I love them so, so much. I am awkward around children, but put a dog or a cat or, hell, a gerbil in front of me, and I become an entirely different person. I can chat with a dog so much more easily than a human, I’ll tell you that.

What are some of your beige flags?