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Stephany Writes

Categories: Books

Book Review: Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney

***

Title: Willpower
Author: Roy F. Baumeister & John Tierney
Genre: Self-help
Year: 2011
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

***

I was intrigued by the premise of this book. Willpower. I’ve told myself for years that I have very weak willpower. Its limited presence shows itself in the way I struggle to lose weight, save money, and mark off items on my to-do list. So I wanted to know about willpower. What it is, what it does for me, and how to strengthen mine.

A good chunk of this book was devoted to case studies and celebrity examples of what willpower looks like (and what it doesn’t). I wasn’t very impressed with it all, wondering how to apply the hundreds of case studies presented to my own life. Now, I love to read case studies. I find the human psyche incredibly complex and interesting. But it got a little too much for me, especially when life application was lacking.

The last part of the book (starting with Chapter 9) was when things started getting interesting for me. This was when I started seeing more life application. This is when I began to understand it all.

In the spirit of a self-help book, I’m taking a different approach to this book review. Instead, here is what I learned from this book:

1. We all possess a finite amount of willpower that gets depleted throughout the day. (p. 35)

2. For every task completed throughout the day, from forcing ourselves out of bed in the morning to not eating that second piece of chocolate after lunch, draws from the same stock of willpower. (p. 35)

3. “Whether you’re judging yourself or judging others, never equate being overweight with having weak willpower.” (p. 215)

4. The Oprah Paradox. Think about Oprah. She is hugely successful and she couldn’t have gotten to where she is without having exceedingly high self-control and willpower. Yet she struggles with losing weight (and keeping it off). Even people with high self-control can struggle with their weight. (p. 217)

5. It’s more important to heed the body’s internal cues than the external cues. When we diet, we start imposing more external rules on our bodies: when to eat, how much, etc. But it’s more important to listen to our bodies. Learn to recognize our hunger signals, and learn to recognize when we are full. (p. 223) This is something that Weight Watchers, in particular, heavily emphasize. There was a pretty interesting study done on this very issue and it hit home the point of internal versus external cues.

6. When we start craving sweets, it’s more than just a matter of weak willpower. Our cravings have a “sound physiological basis”. Self-control depletes glucose and the fastest way to get that back? Eating sweets. It’s at this point that we need to reach for something richer in protein and nutrients, even though reaching for chocolate is the more satisfying option. (p. 226 – 227)

7. “…people with high self-control consistently report less stress in their lives. They use their self-control not to get through crises but to avoid them. They give themselves enough time to finish a project; they take their car into the shop before it breaks down; they stay away from all-you-can-eat buffets. They play offense instead of defense.” (p. 239)

8. In the game of willpower, it’s the exertion of trying to make a decision that matters. Even if you end up giving in, it doesn’t automatically replenish your willpower stock, although it will help you from expending more willpower with this decision. (p. 244)

I found the book to be quite an interesting read, although it was really the last three chapters that spoke to me the most. The book is heavy on case studies and makes up about 90% of the book’s content. I enjoy reading studies so it wasn’t a big deal for me, but it did get a little too much at times. If you enjoy self-help, it’s a good read. And if the psyche into self-control and willpower interests you, I would definitely recommend this book.

I received this book for free from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review. All words and opinions are my own.

Categories: Books

4,101 pages later…

I think I always knew I would fall completely in love with the Harry Potter series once I started reading the books. I read the first two when I was in middle school and remember really enjoying them, even if they were a style of book I wouldn’t normally read. I don’t know why I never finished the series, but I know part of the reason was because of the dark magic displayed in the subsequent books that had all Christian parents in a tizzy. I was never banned from reading the books, but also didn’t care to keep reading. So I stopped and even when the movies came out and more and more people extolled these books, I never had an interest in them.

I wasn’t tempted when the Wizarding World of Harry Potter opened in Orlando, a mere 90 minutes from me. I even visited Universal Studios a few months after it opened and was just happy the lines for all the other rides were shorter since everyone was hanging out in Harry Potter land. It wasn’t that I thought I was “better” than those who were obsessed with Harry Potter, but I was just indifferent to the whole series. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it’s a fantastic series, I always thought. Just not for me.

And then Erin came up with a fantastic idea. (Fantastic for those who love Harry Potter, of course.) She formed an 11-week reading plan from the end of June to the beginning of September where a bunch of us would read through the series. Seven books. Over 4,000 pages. In eleven weeks. The Summer of Harry, she called it.

I thought she was crazy. I had seen the books. They were not your average young-adult literature novels. They were heavy and thick. And she wanted us to read them ALL in eleven weeks?

But since there was a good group of bloggers jumping on board with the idea and I knew Erin and others really wanted me to read the series and discover the magic (for lack of a better term) hidden beneath the covers, I joined in.

I had no idea what I had signed myself up for.

I had no idea the impact this series would have on my life.

I had no idea that I would become like Them. Dreaming of visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Linking everyday processes to what I have been reading about. Falling in love with the characters and this wizarding land J.K. Rowling had imagined. Watching the movies. Drooling over Rupert Grint. (Just me?)

And 4,101 pages later, I am a believer.

I don’t even know how to describe this series or the impact it has had on me. As a writer, I was utterly astounded and impressed by Rowling’s writing ability and imagination. Every book was packed with character development, incredible plot lines, and details upon details upon details. Rowling doesn’t write by accident and every nugget of information she drops has impact and meaning. (Which is why I’m really excited to reread this series to see all the clues I missed the first time around!)

I still haven’t been able to wrap my mind around everything that happened in these seven books. Tragedy. Triumph. Love. Hate. Angst. Humor. So many amazing characters and there is no way I can choose my favorite. Every character had a place in the book, a reason for being there. They all had their moments of victory and defeat. (Although to be completely honest, there will always be a soft spot in my heart for Ron.)

One of the best parts of reading this series was the Thursday night Twitter chats with a bunch of people reading right along with me. While I was the only one going through the series for the first time, I think it added a special something to it all, to have someone experiencing Harry Potter for the first time. Everyone else knew how everything plays out and how the series ends, but everything was brand-new for me. Being able to discuss and dissect the book with these people was so special for me. This isn’t the type of book series you can read lightly and move on from. Discussing it helped me to process all my emotions and everything that I felt while reading the books. Those Thursday night chats tied the entire #SummerofHarry experience together.

What happens now? Well, first, there is one last #SummerofHarry chat tonight. (10:00PM EST for anyone interested!) And then, I need to watch the movies. I’ve seen the first two (which were excellent, by the way) and I need to find some time to watch the remaining movies. Who’s up for a Harry Potter movie marathon?!

Categories: Books

Book Review: American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld

***

Title: American Wife
Author: Curtis Sittenfeld
Genre: Fiction
Year: 2009
Rating: 3 of 5 stars

***

I should start off this book review by saying I’m always skeptical of how I will like a book that is wildly popular. All of my friends on Goodreads have rated American Wife 4 or 5 stars so I thought I would take a chance on the book. It had a good premise and I was intrigued by the fact that it was loosely based on the life of Laura Bush.

The beginning of this book was slow, the middle was fascinating, and the end was confusing. I know the beginning set up to show how Alice Lindgren would face the trials of the rest of her life, but it was very slow-moving for me but I kept reading, hoping it would get better. The middle of the book utterly captivated me. I loved reading about a more grown-up Alice, independent and sassy yet content to lead a quiet life – someone I closely identified with – and her romance with Charlie. The end of the book, about Alice and Charlie’s life as President and First Lady was very confusing for me. There were constant switches from the present day to the past and sometimes I could barely keep track. (It wasn’t until the end when I realized the present day had all taken place on ONE day.) It felt very chaotic for me.

The character development in this story was outstanding. I felt a kinship with Alice, relating to her quiet nature. I love the way Alice was written, as a quiet lady but also someone who has determination and morals. I absolutely loved Charlie and the way he loved his wife. He had major faults, none more apparent than when he was an alcoholic, but there always lay this playfulness and deep love for Alice and his daughter. Ellie stole my heart, along with Alice’s grandmother, and Charlie’s family. All the characters were alive and vibrant, with their own set of issues and problems.

The book gave a good, albeit fictional, glimpse into the life of a politician’s wife. Although the majority of the story focused on Alice’s past and there was only a small chunk devoted to life as First Lady, it was interesting to see how the wife of a controversial President reacts to situations. I’ve never been one to sit on my high horse and bash a President because I truly (maybe naively) believe they are doing the best job they can. They have the hardest job in the world and have to deal with so many situations I cannot even begin to think about. The First Lady is there to support her husband. She may not always agree with what he chooses, but she supports him because that’s what you do in a marriage.

I gave the book 3 stars because Goodreads tells me that means I “liked it”. Four stars equals “really liked it” (which I didn’t). And 5 stars means I thought “it was amazing”. (Nope.) It was a good book with a good tone and voice. For me, it was very slow-moving in parts and there were a lot of scenes I thought didn’t exactly need to be there. I would still recommend this book because I think the writing gives it the edge.

What were your thoughts on this book (if you’ve read it)?

Categories: Books

Book Review: In Her Wake by Nancy Rappaport

***

Title: In Her Wake
Author: Nancy Rappaport
Genre: Memoir
Year: 2009
Rating: 3 of 5 stars

***

Nancy Rappaport was 4 years old when her mother committed suicide. Her parents were embroiled in a bitter custody battle at the time, with the courts siding with her father in the most recent battle before she killed herself. The story is about Rappaport trying to find closure in the death of her mom, seeking out anything to understand her mother’s mind and why she committed suicide. It is a mini-biography of her mom, her father, her family, and herself. It is a daughter trying to put together the pieces of her mother’s life.

For me, I never felt like I got a true picture of Nancy’s mother. I learned a lot about Nancy herself, her parenting styles, and how she and her siblings learned to cope without their mother. While there was exploration into her mother’s past and how she came to meet Nancy’s father and raise her children, there seemed to be more of an emphasis on how the family coped afterward. It makes sense, though, since the author was just four when her mother passed, but judging by the subtitle, I was expecting to have a clearer picture of her mother.

This was the type of story you would have to read in bits and pieces. The author’s writing style is very good and easy to read, but there is a lot of information to digest. It’s the type of book you have to read a little at a time, process, then pick up again in a few days. There was a lot of clinical information that I found interesting, but I imagine it just might be too much for some people.

In the end, it was a good book but I wouldn’t shelve it among my favorites. It tended to get very wordy in parts. If you’re a fan of non-fiction and memoirs, it’s a good pick for a book chock-full of anecdotes and information, especially involving suicide and how a family copes with the aftermath.

I received this book for free from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review. All words and opinions are my own.

Categories: Books

Book Review: Remember by Karen Kingsbury

Title: Remember
Author(s): Karen Kingsbury and Gary Smalley
Genre: Christian Fiction
Year: 2003
Rating: 5 of 5 stars

From Goodreads:

She has locked up her heart, convinced that no one – including God – could love her. Four unlikely people – Alzheimer’s patients – find the cracks in Ashley’s heart and slowly help her remember.

Then comes the nightmare of September 11, which forever changes the lives of the Baxter family, causing them to remember what is important and leading them to make decisions that are both heartbreaking and hope-filled.

Landon Blake, who has loved Ashley since he was a teenager, tries to dull the pain of her rejection by immersing himself in the rescue efforts at Ground Zero.

Tragedy and healing. Hurt and forgiveness. Redemption. And powerful lessons about remembering.

My review:

There is a lot happening in this book, but it’s fairly easy to keep track of. The timing of this book is from the summer of 2001 until the fall of that same year. A majority of this book occurs during the September 11 attacks and how the Baxter family is affected by it. This was the first book that ever made me feel the impact of that day since I was just 13 and had never heard of the World Trade Center before it happened. I was far away from the effects of that day.

The book focuses on Ashley’s story. She was introduced in the first book of this series, as someone who was aloof and distant, not wanting a relationship with God and not very concerned about being a good mother to her three-year-old son. She ends up working at an adult care center that specializes in Alzheimer’s patients, hoping being around them will jumpstart her heart and make her feel again. She falls in love with the people there and how she is helping them. In the process, she learns a lot about the human spirit and what she wants to remember in her last days. Is she living a life worth remembering?

One of the things I most love about Karen Kingsbury is the steadfast way she mixes in Biblical truth with fictional storytelling. Many Christian authors are focusing more on the fiction, less on the faith, but Kingsbury manages to incorporate an amazing story, along with a boatload of faith issues. Her characters are real. They are real in their faith and real in their mistakes. I’ve read a lot of Christian chick lit and while I love it, I also finish feeling a bit disappointed, like they were afraid of really embracing faith and Jesus and making Him the center of their novel. There were so many faith issues brought up, including someone finding their way back into the church, someone trying to find their place within God’s ministry, someone questioning faith and why people rely on it so much. She doesn’t shy away from the tough issues, which is what I love about her.

This turned out to be one of the best books I’ve read in a really long time. There were points when I wanted to throw the book down and scream, but I think that’s telling of a good author. She made me feel things deeply. When they hurt, I hurt. When they rejoiced, I rejoiced. I feel like a part of this family. I feel like I could sit down to dinner with them and have a connection with each and every one of them. The book wasn’t my usual puppies, sunshine, and rainbows but I am so glad I pressed on, even when tragedy and sadness made me want to shut the book and never open it again. This book is real life.

What’s the last book you read that you felt deeply connected to the characters?

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Welcome!

Hi, I'm Stephany! (She/her) I'm a 30-something single lady, living in Florida. I am a bookworm, cat mom, podcaster, and reality TV junkie. I identify as an Enneagram 9, an introvert, and a Highly Sensitive Person. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

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