Stephany Writes

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (3.14.22)

Happy Monday, friends! Florida had a weird cold front blow through this weekend. After weeks and weeks of temps in the mid-80s, it got down to the upper 30s. !! Brr. The cold weather isn’t going to stay around (wah), but it shouldn’t as warm this week as it has been lately, so that’s something to be happy about.

Last week, I finished two books and liked both of them. That’s always nice! Here are my reviews:

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build New Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (★★★★☆)

In Atomic Habits, James Clear lays out a specific formula for how to become more successful at habit formation: You must make your goals obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. On the flip side, you must make habits that you want to break invisible, unattractive, difficult, and dissatisfying. If you’ve read about habits before, there’s really nothing new that Clear brings to the table so there isn’t anything earth-shattering in his approach or this book. But it is a good primer on habit formation and there were some specific nuggets of information to help me with my own habit practices. Specifically, the idea of starting as small as possible and trying to become just 1% better on a regular basis. However, I cannot stress enough how triggering this book can be for someone healing from diet culture trauma. I found myself falling into some problematic thought patterns as I was reading this book, as I considered my own weight and health and the habits I “should” form. (For example, one of the “good” daily habits that Clear lists is weighing yourself every morning. Um, what? That is a troubling daily habit! Unless you’re training for something and need to fit into a specific weight class, there is no reason to weigh yourself every day!) Even with his problematic language, I am still giving this book 4 stars because it was helpful in some respects and I appreciate the approachable style of the writing.

We often expect progress to be linear. At the very least, we hope it will come quickly. In reality, the results of our efforts are often delayed. It is not until months or years later that we realize the true value of the previous work we have done. This can result in a “valley of disappointment” where people feel discouraged after putting in weeks or months of hard work without experiencing any results. However, this work is not wasted. It is simply being stored. It is not until much later that the full value of previous efforts is revealed.

One of the most common questions I hear is, “How long does it take to build a new habit?” But what people really should be asking is, “How many does it take to form a new habit?” That is, how many repititions are required to make a habit automatic?

The central idea is to create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible. Much of the battle of building better habits comes down to finding ways to reduce the friction associated with our good habits and increase the friction associated with our bad ones.

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (★★★★☆)

Man, I really liked this contemporary romance. I love that Olivia Dade’s characters are always a bit older (late thirties, in this novel, which isn’t “older” in the grand scheme of things, but is a little unusual for the romance genre) and some of whom are fat and aren’t trying to change themselves. So refreshing! In this novel, Marcus is a lead character on a Game of Thrones-esque show. When a fan of the show, April, tweets a photo of herself cosplaying as one of the other leads in the show, she is inundated with horrifying messages about her weight. And, of course, some truly terrible men include Marcus in the conversation, thinking he’ll be as disgusted by April’s body as they are. He’s not; instead, he asks April out on a date on Twitter. (Mostly to shut up these stupid men, but he’s also attracted to her as well.) Thus begins a really sweet love story between Marcus and April. There are a handful of other storylines mixed into this novel, such as April’s love of writing fanfiction and Marcus’s public persona as “just a pretty face” even though he’s incredibly intelligent. They both have a lot of internal growth and healing to do. I could have done without the included fanfiction stories and really dumb movie scripts (I skipped over all of them, which just goes to show that they weren’t necessary to the story). All in all, this was a fantastic contemporary romance! (Open door.)

What I’m Reading This Week

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (3.7.22)

Happy Monday, friends! I have today off work (woop, four-day weekend!) and I may try to do my March 5K today so I can get it done early in the month. Why not?!

I finished three books last week, all of which earned 4 or 5 stars from me, so it was a most excellent reading week for me. Here are my reviews:

The Nothing Man by Catherine Ryan Howard (★★★★★)

You guys, this thriller was just so good! I had high expectations going into the novel because so many of my trusted sources have been raving about it for months, and it fully met every expectation I had. This book within a book centers around Eve Black who was 12 years old when a serial killer murdered her family. Twenty-odd years later, she’s written a true-crime book about the event and the serial killer, who has never been caught. His nickname was the Nothing Man because law enforcement truly had nothing on him. No evidence, no patterns, nothing. She publishes the book, which is when Jim, who is the Nothing Man, starts to read it and realizes how close she has come to the truth. Which means, of course, he must stop her the only way he knows how. It’s a dark and grisly novel with graphic depictions of murder and rape, which is usually a no-go for me as a highly sensitive person. But it didn’t bother me too much. While it was gruesome and hard to stomach at times (I couldn’t read the book at night), I also appreciated the underlying theme of remembering the victims. We can all name a serial killer (or a dozen), but how many of us can name the victims of serial killers? All in all, this book was excellent and while I guessed the ending, it didn’t detract from my enjoyment.

I also really liked this passage about trauma and how our brains process it:

I was only twelve when this happened. Even while I was still in the bathroom, my brain was preparing me for my survival, opening the deepest vault in my memory bank so it could send the worst of what I was about to see straight in there. When the vault started to approach capacity, it just dumped some stuff straight out. This is how I’ve come to understand the effects of trauma on the mind of a child. That night is a jigsaw puzzle missing pieces and some parts of it have clearly been put together wrong.

(print, library)

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (★★★★★)

This book was so… dare I say it?… charming! It follows Charlie who has just become the new lead of a Bachelor-esque show called Ever After. Charlie has only agreed to be on the show so he can relaunch his career in tech, which came to a crashing halt six months ago. When the show begins, Charlie is shy and awkward and can barely make conversation with the women. Enter: Dev. Dev has been a producer on Ever After for six years and becomes Charlie’s handler for the show. Dev has to get Charlie to loosen up and enjoy the process. What Dev doesn’t expect is to fall in love with Charlie… and for Charlie to fall in love with him. I can’t even handle how cute this book was, how much I loved Charlie and Dev, and how fun the cast of characters are. There is incredible mental health representation in this book (Charlie has OCD and social anxiety, while Dev struggles with depression) as well as queer representation. I really loved the scenes of Charlie figuring out his sexuality (is he asexual? bi? gay? demisexual? graysexual?) because sexuality truly is a spectrum—even if you identify as straight. The conversations he had with Dev and other people in his life about his sexuality were so heartwarming and I truly want everyone who is questioning to have that level of support. It’s so very needed. This book truly scratched my Red, White, and Royal Blue itch and it will have a lasting place on my bookshelf. (#ownvoices, e-book, Libby)

Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling (★★★★☆)

Mindy Kaling’s second memoir has been sitting on my bookshelf for a long, long time and I finally read it to fulfill March’s Unread Shelf Project prompt, read a biography or memoir. I sped through this book in a day and a half (it’s only 230 pages with lots of pictures) and enjoyed it. It didn’t make me laugh as much as her first memoir did, but I loved reading about how she got her show and the day-to-day life of a showrunner. I also appreciated her thoughts on being a curvier woman in Hollywood and how she became a confident woman (a lot of hard work! Confidence is not something that just happens, especially for women of color in Hollywood, but working hard every day can breed a level of confidence that carries you throughout your life). While it wasn’t the most memorable memoir (I think I will have forget I read this in a few weeks’ time), it was an easy, quick, enjoyable read. (print, owned, Thriftbooks)

What I’m Reading This Week

  • The Madness of Crowds by Louise Penny (audio) – I am a little less than halfway through this mystery, which is the most recent release of Penny’s Chief Inspector Armand Gamache series. I can’t believe I’ll be all caught up when I finish this book! I’m enjoying it, although there is some talk about how the pandemic was over once everyone had access to vaccines. (Oh, how I wish!)
  • Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (e-book) – I’m about 50 pages into this contemporary romance and I am liking it a lot! It’s about a famous actor who starts dating a non-celebrity, and the fanfiction they write together. The catch? The famous actor is the star of the TV show they write fanfiction about, and revealing his identity could kill his career.
  • Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (print) – It’s obvious that I need a little bit of help in the habits department. I’ve heard really good things about this book and I’m hoping it will give me tangible steps to take as I try to build better habits into my daily life.
  • Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People by Nadia Bolz-Weber (print) – This slim novel (it’s under 200 pages) is broken into short vignettes, so I’m reading a couple a day. I’ve read two chapters so far and it’s… okay. I’m not sold on the book yet.

What are you reading this week?

Categories: Books

February Reading Wrap-Up

Happy Friday, friends! Today starts a four-day staycation for me and my biggest plans for today are to get a haircut and get a photo taken for my passport renewal. Woo!

Today, I’m starting my new reading wrap-up series. I am super excited about this series and had so much fun putting it together. I’m breaking down this wrap-up into three sections: a list of the books I read this month (with ratings, sources, and a mini-review), my book stats for the month, and a fun little superlative section.

Books Read

  • A Wicked Kind of Husband by Mia Vincy (★★★★★ – e-book, Amazon) – a surprisingly perfect enemies-to-lovers romance
  • Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian (★★★★★ – #ownvoices, audiobook, Libby) – a ya love story that will stick with you
  • Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope by Meghan Phelps-Roper (★★★★★ – print, library) – a difficult memoir from a courageous woman
  • Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (★★★★★ – #ownvoices, print, Amazon) – a book I wanted to hug when I finished it
  • Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian (★★★☆☆ – e-book, Libby) – a queer love story that had me doing a deep dive into consumption/tuberculosis
  • Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language by Amanda Montell (★★★☆☆ – print, Amazon) – a good overview of how culture (and patriarchy) shapes language
  • When We Left Cuba by Chanel Cleeton (★★★★☆ – #ownvoices, audiobook, Libby) – an engaging novel that was part-spy novel and part-coming of age story
  • The Bastard’s Betrayal by Katee Robert (★★★★☆ – e-book, Amazon) – a dark and gritty mafia romance that earned all of the chili peppers from me
  • All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle (★★★★★ – #ownvoices, print, library) – an uplifting story with A Man Called Ove vibes

Book Stats

  • # of books read: 9
  • # of pages read: 2,891 pages
  • Fastest read: Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (3 days)
  • Slowest read: Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian (12 days)
  • Star average: 4.3
  • % of books by or about BIPOC or the LGBT community: 56%
  • Abandoned books: 1 (Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit—I gave this book about 30 pages before abandoning it, but it just felt very academic and also a bit dated, in some ways)
  • Goodreads goal check-in: I set a goal of 135 books this year and currently, I am 1 book behind schedule. Eeks!

Superlatives of the Month

  • Favorite book of February: Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson
  • Favorite romance of February: A Wicked Kind of Husband by Mia Vincy
  • The book I thought I would love more than I did: Wordslut by Amanda Montell
  • A book that was totally deserving of the hype: All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle
  • Favorite audiobook experience of the month: Like a Love Story (three different narrators reading each person’s part, and they each seemed to truly embody their characters)

What was the best book you read in February?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (2.28.22)

Hi, friends. I hope you all are doing well and taking care of yourself right now. It’s been a hard weekend and the news out of Ukraine is horrifying and really scary. I am continuing to pray for peace, as neither the people of Ukraine nor the people of Russia have asked for any of this. <3 (My news sources right now are Jessica Yellin and emilyinyourphone on Instagram, as well as the Pod Save the World podcast, if you’re looking for good options to keep up-to-date on what’s going on without going crazy.)

It’s hard to make the transition to a silly post about books, but alas, I know it’s good to have distractions right now. I finished three books this week, all 4- or 5-star reads, so it was an excellent reading week for me! Let’s dive into the reviews:

The Bastard’s Betrayal by Katee Robert (★★★★☆)

Dark romances aren’t normally my jam, but I tend to make an exception for Katee Robert. Her mafia romances are some of my favorites! I used to exclusively read romantic suspense books before I moved on to more contemporary/historical romances, but I always love diving back into a world that’s just a bit more dangerous than you’d find in a typical romance. In this book, the first in a new series, we’re drawn into the world of Rose Romanov, who will one day be the head of the Romanov family. She’s been dating a “normal” guy named Jackson for a few months when she finds out he’s actually part of one of their rival mob families and has been sent to spy on her family. Chaos ensues from there. I really liked this book and I’m excited about this new series. I do have to say, though, that it is very, very open door and some of the sex scenes were a little too much for me, even. But all in all, a solid read where I really had no idea how things would resolve for the two main characters. (e-book, Amazon)

All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle (★★★★★)

What a sweet, heartwarming book! In All the Lonely People, Hubert Bird is an 82-year-old Black man who lives alone in London and doesn’t have much in the way of friends. His wife died 13 years ago and he keeps himself sane with his weekly phone calls from his daughter who lives in Australia. To appease his daughter (who is very worried he’ll become a lonely old man), he has made up a fanciful life where he spends all his time with three friends that he met at a group event. When his daughter announces that she’s coming to visit him after a handful of years away, he realizes he needs to make some new friends—and fast. This is a book about loneliness, about how to make friends no matter what age or stage of life you’re in, and about the magic that can happen when we open ourselves up to others. I was completely captivated by Hubert and his life (the book switches back and forth in time, taking us through Hubert’s life from the time he was a young man to how he fell in love with his wife to where he is now), and this is a book I could confidently press into the hands of any reader. (#ownvoices, print, library)

“Although things were noticeably better than they had been when Hubert first arrived in England, that didn’t mean racism had suddenly disappeared. It was still there every day in newspaper headlines, in the stereotypes appearing on TV, in the assumptions strangers made about people who looked like him. The only difference with this kind of racism was that it was marginally more likely to result in graffiti scrawl across a family’s front door than a physical attack or a beating. Instead it remained an ever-present background noise that, from time to time, if the situation allowed, could be tuned out for a moment’s respite.”

When We Left Cuba by Chanel Cleeton (★★★★☆)

This novel begins at the end of the 1950s—John F. Kennedy has just become president, Fidel Castro is prime minister of Cuba, and Beatriz Perez and her family are trying to build a life for each other in Miami after fleeing Cuba. But Beatriz quickly becomes drawn into the dangerous world of espionage, as she is recruited by the CIA to infiltrate Castro’s inner circle. While the beginning of this novel was slow, it really seemed to gain speed once everything was established and I had a hard time putting it down. On the surface, this book may seem like a spy novel but it’s really about so much more than that. It’s about family and sisterhood, about being a refugee and how everyone in a family is impacted differently (some by embracing the new country and culture, others by fighting to get back to their home country). It’s about resistance movements, courage, and love for country. It’s a gorgeous love letter to Cuba and Cubans who fought for the resistance. I really, really liked this novel! (#ownvoices, audiobook, Libby)

What I’m Reading This Week

  • The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochran (e-book) – I just started this queer romance and I am already sucked into this crazy, lovely world. The setting is a Bachelor-type reality TV show, and I am here for that.
  • The Nothing Man by Catherine Ryan Howard (print) – Everyone has been raving about Catherine Ryan Howard, so I suggested one of her books for book club. I’ve been told it’s actually pretty dark and gory, which I don’t normally go for, so we’ll see if I can stomach it. (At any rate, I will only be reading it in the daytime!)
  • The Madness of Crowds by Louise Penny (audiobook) – I was positive that I had more books left to read in the Chief Inspector Armand Gamache series before I got to the latest release, but nope! Once I read this book, I will be officially caught up. I can’t believe it! I’ll start this on Tuesday.

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

My Reading Themes

A few weeks ago, the hosts of the Currently Reading podcast had a great episode about the themes of their reading lives. We always talk about the genres we like to read or the types of books we like to read (short books, long books, plot-driven, character-driven, etc), but have you ever stopped to think about why you like to read the books you like to read? When you take stock of the books you read, are there any strong themes that emerge? I loved this post and the way it made me stop and think about the types of books I gravitate towards. Why do I love the romance genre so much? Why is reading diversely so important to me? What themes do I need to really sink into a book and fall completely in love with it?

It took me a while to come up with my reading themes, but I finally came up with three buckets:

Gaining a New Perspective

I am a sponge for information and I love learning new things from what I’m reading. Even more than that, I love when a book can provide me with an entirely new perspective and force me outside my comfort zone. Whether that’s learning how gay teens in the 1980s were dealing with the AIDS crisis (Like a Love Story), or reading about a little boy growing up in the Midwest who wants to be a girl (This Is How It Always Is), or reading stories from the disabled community about what it’s like to be in their bodies (Disability Visibility), or learning about the racial caste system of the United States (Caste). I read to expand my worldview, gain a new perspective, and get out of my white, cis bubble. Reading diversely is important to me because I don’t want to only read books written by and about white people. I want to read books that are going to challenge me, that are written by and about marginalized communities, and that give me a perspective entirely different than my own. In doing so, I hope I am developing a greater sense of empathy for the people around me and a broader worldview than you might expect from a white girl growing up and living in Florida.

Delightful Happy Endings

My reading life isn’t always so serious, though. Sometimes, I just want to read a lighthearted romance novel that gives me a happy ending. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I love the romance genre so much—what does it give to me, considering so many people (women, especially) don’t love the genre? And I think what I love so much is the predictability of romance novels. I love knowing there will be two people falling in love and, at the end of the novel, they will find happiness with each other. It’s the journey to that final destination that we’re discovering, not some wacky final twist at the end. Romance novels are about the human experience. And they’re also about women finding their voices, men learning how to be vulnerable, people conquering their fears and coming to terms with their past. They may be plot-driven, but the good romance novels are the ones that make you care deeply about the main characters at the heart of the story. You laugh with them, cry when they get hurt, and get butterflies in your stomach when they kiss.

Delightful happy endings encompass a lot more than the romance genre, too. After all, this is a theme in my reading life so I’ve found these stories in YA (Tell Me Three Things), in commercial fiction (Other People’s Houses), and in historical fiction (Cocoa Beach). Sometimes, a lighthearted story with a happy ending is exactly what my heart needs.

Meaningful Character Connections

I had a hard time naming this theme (and I still don’t really like the name) and it’s one that I feel can be the hardest to describe. I’m not talking about character-driven stories here, but rather, I love books where I can feel meaningfully connected to the characters. I want to fall in love with the characters, so much so that finishing the novel feels like leaving some of my best friends behind. I want stories that connect me to people—their histories, their experiences, what they love and hate, who they love and hate, the things that have shaped them. The last book I read where I felt a palpable connection to a character was Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson. I loved Jade, the main character, so damn much and the last 30 or so pages had me tearing up because I was so happy for her and the goodness in her life. I was so sad to finish the book and leave Jade behind.

Character-driven stories tend to provide the most meaningful connections (Writers & Lovers certainly did that), but plot-driven stories can do the same (The House in the Cerulean Sea, most definitely). In fact, there’s really something special about a plot-driven story that allows you to meaningfully connect with the characters because those books can sometimes rely more on story than on characters, and I love when a book can express both beautifully.

What are your reading themes?