Stephany Writes

Categories: Books

Bookish Questions

These bookish questions were posed to the hosts on Sarah’s Bookshelves Live on an episode that released at least a year ago. While I was listening to the episode, I typed up the questions in my Notes app, intending to answer them in a blog post, but then that note got buried in my app. I only just discovered the note a few weeks ago when I was cleaning out my Notes app! Oops. Better late than never?

1) Have you always been a reader? Do you have a distinct memory of when you truly fell in love with reading?

Yes, I have always been a reader. I learned to read in kindergarten, and it quickly became my favorite hobby. Every Saturday morning, my mom and I would go to the library so I could check out the max number of books allowed, and it’s one of my most cherished memories. My mom definitely championed my reading and made it as accessible for me as possible!

I don’t know if I have a distinct memory of when I truly fell in love with reading. I know my books were a source of comfort for me in a tumultuous childhood. I know I was greatly impacted by some of the stories I read, and just found the whole process of reading and diving into unfamiliar worlds to be such a delight. I think I was just destined to become someone who is a Reader-with-a-capital-R, and there’s not a line of before and after. Once I learned to read, that was it for me. It was love at first sight.

2) Was there any time in your life when you were not reading as much?

Like most people, my reading dipped a bit while I was in college. I still read a lot, but I also had to make time for school assignments and required reading. Thankfully, my major didn’t require a ton of required reading (elementary education, then journalism), so at least I could enjoy my books as a brain break. It was important for me to have reading as my outlet during those stressful college years, so I made plenty of time for it. (Probably at the detriment of my social life, if we’re being honest.)

3) What parts of your reading taste have changed dramatically over your reading life, and what has stayed consistent?

When I was younger, the only books I read were Christian fiction. Chaste Christian romance, Christian YA, Christian thrillers, Christian nonfiction, etc. I believed that reading anything not published by a Christian press was a sin, sending me straight to hell. So that was all I read for a long, long time, until I started venturing out to reading different kinds of books. If I could pinpoint when this transition happened, it was during my first year of college. I was very sad while living on campus (I had a very hard time making friends and had a volatile relationship with my roommate), so I spent a lot of time at the college bookstore because being in my empty dorm room just made me depressed. On a whim, I picked up a book in a romantic suspense series (not a Christian romantic suspense book, mind you!) and fell completely in love with the characters and stories and yes, all the sexytimes.

These days, it’s rare for me to read a book published by a Christian press, mostly because there is so much about those books that don’t align with my beliefs. Sometimes, a nonfiction book will strike my fancy (I just finished listening to The Making of Biblical Womanhood, in fact!), but I have to be in the right headspace to read anything involving religion.

As for what has stayed consistent, it’s my love for romance. I have always loved romance novels, starting with the Love Stories series as a teen and moving on to Harlequin romance that I consumed like candy. And now romance isn’t a genre relegated to a small corner of the library or bookstore. It doesn’t feel embarrassing or “low-brow” to read romance. This genre has come such a long way, and it’s so gratifying.

4) How often do you talk about books in your day-to-day life?

My core friend group is my book club, so we talk about what we’re reading all the time. I don’t really talk about what I’m reading with work people, although I had a special connection with a previous boss where we would end our 1:1 meetings talking about what we’re reading. Sometimes, I’ll talk about books with my mom, but she’s the only reader in my family. I often feel very out of place when it comes to my family because I love to read, and nobody else does! Such a travesty.

When it comes to strangers or people I see every once in a while, I don’t often talk about books unless it comes up organically. For example, during one PT session, my therapist asked me what I was doing over the weekend, so I told her I had book club, and that’s how we started connecting about books and reading. Maybe one day I’ll get better about just point-blank asking people if they are a reader and/or what they’re reading.

5) What is the primary reason you read?

Reading is essential to my life. I would be lost without my books because I would lose the essence of who I am. It’s as essential to me as breathing, as sleeping, as moving my body. It’s hard for me to relate to people who don’t read because I just can’t imagine doing anything else with my free time!

When I was younger, I read primarily for enjoyment and that’s still the primary reason I read today. I love getting lost in a fictional world. I love the way reading can transport me and allow me to escape my reality for just a little while. But I also love learning new things and opening my mind to other cultures, perspectives, and ways of being. I credit books as the reason I was able to deconstruct my faith and become a more open-minded individual.

Have your reading tastes changed dramatically over the years?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (12.3.25)

Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents―and What They Mean for America’s Future by Jean M. Twenge (★★★☆☆)

Audiobook • Libby • Nonfiction • 2023

Short synopsis: A groundbreaking, revelatory portrait of the six generations that currently live in the United States and how they connect, conflict, and compete with one another.

I am fascinated by the topic of generations, so this book seemed to be right up my alley! To put it in perspective, my grandparents were part of the silent generation, my stepdad is a baby boomer, my mom juuuust makes the cut for Gen X, my brother and I are millennials, many of my cousins and my older nephew are Gen Z, and my younger nephew is Gen Alpha.

I enjoyed getting a glimpse into the generations before me, since there is a lot I didn’t know about what was happening at this time and how those events shaped their overall characteristics. So, I was in a great mood as I started the millennial chapter. I was excited about what she had to say about my generation! And… oof.

Maybe I’m being overly sensitive as a millennial, but I could just feel the disdain she had for my generation. It got to a point where I had to look up reviews of this book to make sure I wasn’t alone in my thoughts, and a lot of other people agree that she seemed to cherry-pick research and statistics that would suit her narrative about millennials and Gen Z. I just found so many gaps in her research and writing.

She harped on the fact that starting with Gen X, people started waiting to get married to have kids. Hmm… wonder why that could be. Perhaps because women couldn’t even open a bank account in their own name until 1974? This was literally never brought up in the chapter about Gen X and how women finally having more rights as independent people led to a lot of change in the culture. She badgered millennials and Gen Z about declining birth rates and our inability to buy houses, even though she doesn’t think affordability is an issue. She buys into the lazy narrative that all millennials want participation trophies and spend too much time on our phones. And I found the Gen Z chapter really confusing. It feels like this author has never even talked to Gen Z people, conducted any sort of focus group, or discussed what’s really important to this generation.

I’m sticking with a 3-star rating because I did find parts of the book fascinating, but I was hoping for something a lot more inclusive and expansive than I received. But hey, maybe that’s the millennial in me who was hoping for a sweet participation trophy while reading about her generation! (Recommendation source: Sarah of Sarah’s Bookshelves Live)

Finlay Donovan Digs Her Own Grave by Elle Cosimano (★★★★☆)

Audiobook • Libby • Mystery • 2025

Short synopsis: When a body turns up in their nosy neighbor Mrs. Haggerty’s yard and the investigation begins to target Finlay’s ex-husband, Finlay and Vero are reluctantly pulled into helping her—and into uncovering dangerous secrets before their own come to light.

This is the fifth book in the Finlay Donovan series, and I still love this series so dang much. Is it great literature? No. Is it realistic? Absolutely not. Do I care? Not one whit. I love Finlay and all of the craziness she gets herself into. (Actually, maybe I like her nanny, Vero, better. I would absolutely date Vero if I could.) In this book, Finlay attempts to clear her ex-husband’s name while discovering some intriguing hobbies her nosy neighbor has taken up. It’s fun, frothy, and propulsive, and I could barely put it down!

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown (★★★☆☆ 1/2)

Print • Library • Nonfiction • 2021

Short synopsis: In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human.

I’m someone who’s very in tune with my emotions and is always trying to better understand why I feel the way I feel. This book is organized into sections based on different emotional experiences (aka, places we go when we’re hurting or places we go when things don’t go as planned). Brown walks you through 87 emotions, from the uplifting to the devastating (I cried while reading about anguish).

While the book is easy to read and engaging, I’m not sure it’s something I’d rush to recommend. Brown repurposes a lot of her own previous writing, along with a fair amount of other people’s work (all properly credited, of course). I don’t know… I just didn’t love it. It didn’t feel fresh or new. But maybe that wouldn’t bother other readers, and I’m just being a Critical Cathy.

I’ve read several of Brené Brown’s books, and I always walk away feeling like I should be getting more out of them than I do. Maybe she’s just not the behavioral expert for me.

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (11.17.25)

The Last Flight by Julie Clark (★★★★★)

Print • Library • Thriller • 2020

Short synopsis: A woman escaping her abusive, high-profile husband trades plane tickets with a stranger, only to assume the stranger’s dangerous identity after the other woman’s flight crashes.

This thriller was so propulsive! I loved the setup and how these women’s stories intertwined. The book takes us through everything that led Claire to plan her escape from her husband—and how carefully she crafted her exit. After the swap, the book moves back and forth in time, as we follow Claire in the present as she steps into Eva’s life while learning what drove Eva to trade places, too. I found this book to be utterly unputdownable! It was smart, well-written, and had two protagonists who were worth rooting for. The ending was exceptional, too. Highly recommend!

The Silence That Binds Us by Joanna Ho (★★★★☆ 1/2)

Audiobook • Hoopla • YA • 2022

Short synopsis: After her brother dies by suicide and her parents are blamed for it (due to their “high standards”), a Chinese Taiwanese American teen uses her writing to fight harmful stereotypes and reclaim her family’s narrative.

This book was so heavy. The author did an excellent job weaving together so many different topics—suicide, racism, the model minority myth, grief, etc. Without getting too spoiler-y, when May’s brother dies by suicide, it rocks everyone who knew him to their core. Because he didn’t seem depressed and certainly not suicidal. He was caring, sweet, and kind. He was popular at school and a stellar athlete. The kind of teenager who had everything going for him. It was so hard to understand why he would die by suicide, but I think that’s the (scary) point. Sometimes it’s the star athletes, the ones who seem to have it all together, who are struggling so much with their mental health.

Since I have a close relationship with my brother, as May did with hers, I felt especially tender toward May. Her grief was so palpable and raw. There’s a scene where she’s listening to a song her brother left for her, and she’s crying and listening to it over and over again, and it was so brutally sad. I cried while listening to that scene. It was such a beautiful, heartwrenching depiction of grief.

Most of the novel is about the response to May’s brother’s suicide. Shortly after it happened, one of the (white) fathers in their school basically implied that the reason he died was because of the high standards Asian parents place on their kids at this school. It’s wild to think that a) someone would say that when his parents are in the same room and b) I could absolutely see that happening in today’s fractured society. May decides to pen a response that is published in a community paper, and then he responds back in the same paper, and it devolves from there.

This is a story about family and grief and loss. And it’s about racism and standing up for yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s also a beautiful story about being Asian and being proud of who you are. Another one I highly recommend (for very different reasons).

It’s a Love Story by Annabel Monaghan (★★★★☆)

Print • Owned (Target) • Contemporary Romance • 2025

Short synopsis: When a former child star turned studio exec lies about securing a hit popstar for her project, she’s forced to team up with a smug old crush to fix the mess—only to confront her past and discover something real along the way.

I went on such a journey with this romance. The beginning drops you right into Jane’s world, and I initially struggled to understand what her job was or why she was so mad with this random guy named Dan. A smoother transition into the early chapters would have helped because I spent the first 25% feeling confused and unsure why I should care about the conflicts unfolding. However, as the book progressed and I settled into these characters and the tension at the heart of the novel, I liked it a whole lot more. Jane was incredibly relatable to me, especially as she navigates her own daddy issues. There’s a scene where she talks about how she realized she was never compelling enough for her dad to stay (he left when she was 5), and how that belief has reverberated in her romantic relationships, of thinking she is not interesting or compelling enough for someone to stick around. And oof, it hit me right in the feels because this is something I have spent many hours in therapy trying to work through. I’m still working through it because it is a deeply ingrained part of my psyche. There was something genuinely healing in the way the book portrays Jane’s avoidant attachment style. I feel like a lot of people won’t get it, but ugh, I do. So much. This book touched me in a way I was not expecting. <3

What’s the last book that made you cry?

Categories: Books

What I’m Reading (11.14.25)

The Only One Left by Riley Sager (★★★★☆ 1/2)

Print • Owned (Book of the Month) • Thriller • 2023

Short synopsis: Kit becomes a home-health aide for the infamous Lenora Hope, who is believed to have killed her entire family (but with no evidence, she was never convicted). As Kit tends to her new patient in her crumbling mansion, she begins uncovering dark secrets about the infamous 1929 family massacre—and realizes Lenora’s version of the truth may be deadlier than it seems.

This was such a creepy thriller, and I loved every minute of it. Not only do you have a possible murderess (who had her own little poem, just like Lizzie Borden), but there’s also the setting of the mansion that is slowly crumbling into the sea. There are cracks in the wall and a top floor that tilts ever so slightly, it can make you feel a little seasick. The story of what really happened on the night of the murders is slowly revealed through typewritten words from Lenora, who is mute and fairly immobile, but has a sharp mind and an ability to type. There are so many twists and turns, red herrings everywhere, and a main character whom I quickly grew to love. The ending was wholly satisfying, too, even if I rolled my eyes a bit at one of the reveals at the end. (I think the author tried to be a bit too clever, and it didn’t work for me.)

Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors (★★★★☆ 1/2)

Audiobook • Hoopla • Literary Fiction • 2024

Short synopsis: One year after their sister’s death, three estranged siblings return to their family home in New York in this unforgettable story of grief, identity, and the complexities of family.

I had a wild experience reading this book. At first, I found it an unbelievable slog with the most unlikable characters I’ve ever met. It was our October book club book, and one of my friends asked me if it was worth reading when I was about 40% through. I said no, it wasn’t very interesting. And then I kept reading because I wanted to trust Lisa’s opinion on the book. She gave it 5 stars, and our tastes usually align, so there must have been some reason she loved it so much, right? And boy, am I glad I kept reading. The second half of the book made everything that happened in the first half suddenly make so much sense. The characters became dynamic and heartbreaking, people I just wanted to wrap in a big hug. Yes, they are unlikable, but they are also humans who are dealing with the very real grief of losing an essential part of their world—one of their siblings.

This is a book about complex family dynamics, and it was something I could wholly relate to. It was about addiction and the people behind the headlines. It’s about sobriety and recovery and the non-linear journey it takes. And it’s about grief, all-encompassing grief. At the end of the book, one of the characters says about grief, “I miss her and I miss her and I miss her … And I wait for the feeling to end because every other feeling has ended, no matter how intense, no matter how hard – but this won’t. There’s no end to the missing.” Ooh. That really hit me deeply. It cut to the core of all of my anxieties about death and grief. It’s the never-ending missing.

This is a book that I thought would be 3 stars at best, but might end up as my favorite book of the year. What a wild turn of events.

Unromance by Erin Connor (★★★★☆)

Print • Owned (indie bookstore) • Contemporary Romance • 2025

Short synopsis: Bestselling romance author Sawyer Greene, reeling from heartbreak and dealing with a severe case of writer’s block, plans for a one-night fling—until fate keeps throwing these strangers together in a holiday rom-com setting.

This is the second book I’ve read recently that plays with romance tropes—and features a best-selling romance author as the FMC. I’m just hoping this isn’t going to be the new trope—romances about romance tropes! In any event, this book was a much more positive reading experience than the other book I read with a similar plot. While I had a hard time connecting with the FMC, I was totally sold by the chemistry between the two main characters and loved the way romance tropes were explored in this novel. Plus, the novel took place around Christmas, which just lent a very cozy and sweet vibe to the whole novel. Is it a novel that will knock your socks off? Probably not, but it was a pleasant way to spend a few hours.

What are you reading?

Categories: Books

Ranking My Favorite Books

Recently, the Currently Reading podcast released an episode where they ranked the books they listed as their favorite book of the year, going back six years. Since I have ranked my favorite book going back to 2011, I thought, why not go all the way to the beginning? Some of these favorites are embarrassing, honestly, as I have since learned how problematic they are. But they are a glimpse into the reader I was then. (For those books, I’m going to select an honorable mention, another favorite book of that year that has better stood the test of time.)

Without further ado, here are my ranked favorites, from least favorite to most favorite:

14) The Help by Kathryn Stockett (2011)

There’s a reason this book is in the lowest spot. While I loved this book and its subsequent movie, it is a book filled with problematic elements and I cannot in good faith recommend it anymore. My honorable mention for this year is The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen, one of my all-time favorite YA novelists. I can still remember how I felt when I read this novel; it gave me the warm fuzzies!

13) Me Before You by Jojo Moyes (2013)

Oh, how I loved this book when it came out! I was all aboard the Jojo Moyes train. But this book stereotypes people with disabilities and is basically about a guy who wants to die rather than live as a disabled man. My honorable mention is A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, which honestly should have been my favorite of this year. This is one of my all-time favorite books, and it would be much higher on my list if I had chosen it.

12) Becoming by Michelle Obama (2018)

This was the last book I read in 2018, and I think recency bias is the reason I listed it as my favorite of the year. Was it a good book? Yes, especially on audio. But looking at my other favorites of that year, I should have given it to A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, as that book stands out more than this one. Honestly, I can’t even remember most of Michelle’s memoir. I’m not sure if that’s an indictment on me or her, though.

11) The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (2014)

I truly do not have any recollection of this book. Like, I vaguely have an idea of what it was about but if you asked me to name any of the five people, I’d be lost. But it was the best book I read in 2014. Maybe I should reread it to see if I can recapture the magic.

10) The Women by Kristin Hannah (2024)

I loved this book so very much, but there just hasn’t been enough time for it to sit with me and see if it’s going to be an all-time favorite. I learned so much about the Vietnam War and what it’s like to be a nurse in combat, and it’s a book I can easily recommend to just about anyone.

9) The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (2016)

It’s not often that a romance makes my all-time favorite book of the year, but this romance was a standout for me. I’ve reread it multiple times and it continues to be one of my favorites. It’s just so cute!

8) The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall (2020)

I have such a strong sense memory of reading this book. It was during the early days of the pandemic that the only place I was going was the grocery store. I wasn’t even seeing my mom! But I remember sitting on my bed with the sun high in the sky and devouring this book on my Kindle. It was a perfect book.

7) The Martian by Andy Weir (2015)

Oh, my god, this book! My first Andy Weir novel and certainly not my last. I have grown to love the way he tells his stories, even all the technical, science-y jargon that usually goes over my head, but is still fascinating to read about. This one remains my favorite of his. I loved it so much that I’ve been scared to see the movie, even though I know it’s great.

6) Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (2012)

I loved this book. I loved that when I got to the big twist in the middle, I threw the book across the room. I loved the ending. I loved how dark and twisty it was. It was the pioneer in the thriller genre, and maybe it was too good at what it did since it launched hundreds (thousands?) of books promising to be “the next Gone Girl.” I’m glad I read this book when I did because it gives me such a sense of appreciation for the genius of Gillian Flynn.

5) Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau (2022)

This book was so unexpected. I did not expect to love it as much as I did, but it was one of the best stories I’ve ever read. It had such a strong sense of place and the characters were so alive and vibrant. I want this book to be an HBO miniseries.

4) We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres-Sanchez (2023)

There was a whole controversy surrounding the book American Dirt, and through that controversy, people began recommending other books with similar plots, but written by people of color. This book stood out in a sea of recommendations, and I am so glad it did, because it was sensational. It truly shone a light on what it means to come to this country as an undocumented immigrant and how harrowing that journey is. This is not a happy book, but I am so glad I read it.

3) Know My Name by Chanel Miller (2021)

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. This is not an easy book to read, as it details Chanel Miller’s rape, the aftermath, and the trial that follows. She was raped by Brock Turner, who was convicted but only served three months in jail. Chanel has such a beautiful writing style, and she is honest and vulnerable in this book. This is an important book for everyone to read to better understand what it is like for the victims of rape.

2) The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (2017)

This book should be required reading in all high school classrooms, but we all know that won’t be happening anytime soon. It’s a fictionalized story about the very real epidemic that is Black people being shot and killed by police. But it’s about more than that. It’s also about the idea of being a “good” Black person, the power of standing up for yourself, and holding people accountable for their actions. Angie Thomas wrote a masterpiece with this book.

1) Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi (2019)

I knew from the beginning that my favorite book of the last 14 years was an easy choice. It was always going to be Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. This book tells the story of two half-sisters: one sister is sold into slavery and leaves for America, while the other is married off to an Englishman, living a life of luxury in Ghana. From there, we follow their family lines over the next 300 years. It’s a brilliant work of fiction and always my #1 recommendation.

Thoughts on my list? Have you read any of these books?