Hey, friends! It’s been a while since we’ve sat down for a little coffee date. I’ll be drinking an iced coffee with a few pumps of vanilla creamer. Mmm! Here’s what I’d want to talk about with you today:
If we were having coffee today, I’d talk about how I took a break from the news for a few weeks. Do you ever hit a breaking point with the news? It’s just one shitty story after another. It’s Republican governors signing anti-mask mandates into law and news of irreversible effects of climate change and horrifying stories from Afghanistan. I just couldn’t take it anymore. At least, I couldn’t take all of the news consumption I do on a daily basis: the podcasts and the e-newsletters and the online threads. It was too much, so I decided to give myself a break from it all for a few weeks. I still received CNN breaking news alerts to stay informed, but I didn’t click on the links and I didn’t spend hours listening to political pundits talk about each news event to death. It’s been good for my mental health to have this break, which I started right before I left for Chicago and will extend until next week most likely. And I highly encourage anyone who’s feeling overwhelmed by the news to take the same break. It’s okay to step away for a bit and gather your bearings.
If we were having coffee today, I might confide about a scary incident that happened with Ellie last week. I left her outside on the patio for two hours! You guys, I felt like the worst cat mom ever and I couldn’t stop crying about it all night. Every time I looked at her, I’d start crying. I went out on the patio for, like, five seconds and I didn’t see her come out there with me, so I closed the door when I went back inside I usually always, always check to make sure both girls are in the apartment before I close the patio door but I didn’t do that this time because I wasn’t out there for very long. Ugh! I gave Ellie three big handfuls of treats and an extra “meaty stick” because I felt so bad. The patio isn’t enclosed and I’m just so grateful that Ellie didn’t jump off the patio or do something else crazy. My brain can’t stop thinking about worst-case scenarios of her running away or falling and hurting herself. But she didn’t. She just sat on the patio and waited for me to open the door. I think I was more traumatized by the event than she was, quite honestly. She’s gotten so many hugs and kisses and extra treats since then. And one day I will forgive myself for doing that to her.
If we were having coffee today, I might complain that it feels like my time is being pulled in so many competing directions. And I really don’t feel like I know how to manage my time well anymore. It feels like finding time to do all of the things I want to do is so much harder these days. There are blogging tasks to get to (writing blog posts and reading my favorite blogs and keeping up with my personal inbox), reading time to prioritize, and workouts to do. There is time I need to spend maintaining a clean home, my finances, and my friendships. There’s a new relationship that’s burgeoning and exciting that I want to invest my time and energy in. There’s my family and all of the space I want to make for them. There’s TV and all of the shows I want to watch (my TBW list grows longer by the minute). Social media has become almost a non-factor in my life these days because I just don’t have the energy for it anymore. And, of course, work takes up a bulk of my day Monday-Friday, leaving me very little time to enjoy my personal pursuits outside of the few hours at night that I get to myself. It just feels like a lot and all of it is a priority to me; these hobbies are critical to my mental health. And then there are the pursuits that I don’t have the bandwidth to even think about (like restarting my novel). Anyone else feel like they’ve just been treading water for a long time?
If we were having coffee today, I’d probably talk about how irritable and oversensitized I’ve been lately. Which hopefully was all because of my period, which I started yesterday. For the past few days, I’ve felt so incredibly irritable. Everything has been bugging me, to the point that hearing people laugh on a podcast made me angry. (At least I was self-aware enough to know that I was being ridiculous?!) I know some of my irritability is due to work stress and feeling so overwhelmed by my workload, but I’m hoping the irritability mostly had to do with PMS and that it’ll go away very soon. I don’t always experience PMS, so it is always a rude awakening when it happens. Ah, hormones.
If we were having coffee today, I’d be happy to share an Olive update. She is now nearly two months post-treatment (she finished treatment on July 10th) and is doing incredibly well. She’s had scans done twice and both have been completely clean—what a relief! Her hair is slowly but surely growing back and she’s regaining her strength. She’s even measuring on track physically and is light-years ahead developmentally. Basically, homegirl is a goddamn warrior and it’s the most amazing thing to witness.
What would you want to talk about during our coffee date?