Stephany Writes

Categories: Recurring Series

Quarterly Budget Update | Q4 of 2022

Happy Thursday, friends! It’s time to face the music to reveal what I spent in Q4 of this year. This always tends to be a very spendy quarter for me since it involves my birthday and lots of holidays. This quarter also included a six-day cruise, so it was spendier than usual! Let’s dig into the numbers, shall we?

A quick note: I do not include health insurance premiums, 401k deductions, or any other pre-tax deductions that come out of my paycheck before I see it land in my bank account. This is about what I spent from my take-home pay.

Housing ($5,918; -$110 from Q3) – My housing costs came down a bit in Q4, which usually happens because my electric bill goes down a lot, thanks to the nicer weather. Running my AC a lot less means nicer energy bills, imagine that!

  • Rent ($1,415 per month)
  • Electric (averaging $103 per month, which is a decrease of $51 per month from Q3)
  • Phone bill ($123 per month)
  • Water ($47 per month)
  • Internet ($80 per month)
  • Student loan ($126 per month, but now that I’m funneling my $100 loan reimbursement to this loan, I’m paying less; I only had to pay this once in Q4!)
  • Car payment ($362 per month)

Food ($1,541; -$638 from Q3) – I am convinced that I somehow missed a week or two of itemizing my food purchases, because how is this so low?! I don’t understand it, but I’m not going to complain that my food budget is more in line with where I want it to be. Here’s how it broke down:

  • 64% in groceries ($329 per month)
  • 27% in Ubereats orders ($138 per month)
  • 7% in fast food ($38 per month)
  • 2% in Starbucks (one $25 refill on my Starbucks card)

Christmas ($813) – Unfortunately, I ended up spending more money on Christmas in 2022 than I did in 2021 (+$37). I don’t really set a budget for Christmas (other than socking money away throughout the year in a separate Christmas savings fund), but I think I probably need to. Maybe next year I’ll try to stick to a $600 budget. While the majority of this was gifts, I did wind up spending a whopping $254 on decor. WHAT IN THE HELL, STEPHANY. I am giving myself a $100 budget for decor in 2023 and I must stick to it.

Travel ($730; +$305 from Q3) – It was a spend-y quarter for travel, as I went on my 6-day birthday cruise! There were drinks on the cruise, a little bit of shopping, Bingo cards, and some food when we were off the ship. This category also includes payment to my cat sitter.

Shopping ($698; +$154 from Q3) – Oops, another spend-y quarter for shopping.

  • Beauty – $347 (I had to replace a lot of skincare items and makeup this quarter, wah)
  • Books – $89 (8 print books, 2 e-books)
  • Clothing – $53 (pajama pants, yoga pants, comfy pants… all the pants)
  • Home – $107 (a shower rod, hand towel, new rugs for my bathroom, and a jewelry organizer)
  • Home organization – $47 (lots of boxes and bins for keeping things organized, including two more boxes for housing Christmas decorations)
  • Accessories – $20 (three new pairs of earrings)
  • Office supplies – $26 (a planner and a wall calendar)

Health ($478; -$51 from Q3) – Monthly therapy visits + my Peloton app membership.

Savings ($450; -$300 from Q3) – Not much happening for my savings this quarter! I stopped some of the auto-transfers that I had set up (for the girls’ pet fund and my “rainy day” fund) early in the quarter just to make sure I had enough in my account to cover Christmas purchases and the cruise. I’ll get them set up again in January, not to worry. I’m also just understanding children’s ISAs and will probably open one for my kids next month.

Spa ($439; +$184 from Q3) – A few facials, a few pedicures, and my big-time hair appointment (it costs me $300+ for highlights, cut, and style, but I only do this twice a year).

Entertainment ($438; +$232 from Q3) -I spent a lot more on entertainment this quarter, and that’s because I bought tickets to Taylor Swift! I’m soooo excited for this concert in April. I am beside myself! Other purchases that fall into this category include book club dinners, one-on-one dates with friends, and in-app purchases.

Supplies/Toiletries ($326; +$118 from Q3) – I try to keep my supplies/toiletries purchases under $100 per month, but in Q4, I averaged $109 per month. Not fully off the rails, but something for me to keep an eye on in 2023.

Subscriptions ($293; +$2 from Q3) – None of my subscriptions changed from Q3. This category includes Patreon (I subscribe to 3 Patreon communities), Netflix, Peacock, Paramount+, Spotify, Second Nature (air filter subscription/bimonthly), Book of the Month, and two photo editing apps (Befunky, which I use for collages, and Canva, which I use for the podcast).

Auto ($234; -$597 from Q3) – Much lower number this quarter since I didn’t have to pay my car insurance. I spent $115 on gas, $36 on car washes, and $80 on miscellaneous (which includes a new Sunpass, some car tolls, and some car accessories like a cute new trash can).

Pets ($119; -$259 from Q3) – An easy quarter for the girls! I spent $44 on a new bag of food, $38 on treats, $33 on litter, and $4 on toys.

Charity ($49; +$11 from Q3) – I didn’t quite make my goal of donating $50 per month to a charity of my choice, but in Q3 I was able to donate a meal to a needy family for Christmas.

Categories: Books, Recurring Series

Best of 2022 | My Favorite Reads

And here we are: my favorite “Best of 2022” post to research and write. It’s time for my annual review of my best reads of 2022 (and some fun superlatives). I love putting this post together, going through all of my 5-star reads and trying to figure out which ones deserve to be listed as my absolute favorites. This year, I struggled between two books for my overall favorite book of 2022. I went back and forth between them for days, unsure which one really deserved the top spot. I thought, “Maybe I make them both my favorites?” But I am nothing if not tied to my structure, and I forced myself to choose a favorite. I’m pretty happy with my final decision; it feels right!

Like the past few years, this post is broken down into my overall favorites (favorite overall book, favorite fiction, favorite nonfiction, and favorite romance), my favorites by genre, and then some fun superlatives (many of these categories came from the end-of-year episode from Sarah’s Bookshelves Live). Let’s get into it!

Overall Favorites

Favorite Overall Book

Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau – When I came across this title as I was compiling a list of all my 5-star reads from 2022, my heart skipped in my chest. Yes. I remember this book. I remember how it made me feel. I remember these characters and the strong sense of place and the way I felt when I finished this novel. It was a beautiful story about family and religion and chosen family and love and motherhood and music and growing up. Mary Jane is a character I loved from the moment she appeared on the page and I only grew to love her more with every new thing I learned about her. It’s the kind of book that reminds me why I love reading so very much. It most definitely has earned its place as my favorite book of 2022.

Favorite Fiction

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus – The book that oh-so-nearly took my top spot. This was a favorite of many people this year, and I am so happy about that because it’s an excellent read. I loved the main character, Elizabeth Zott, who is trying to be a scientist during a time when women were supposed to stay home and tend to the kids. She encountered sexism, difficult managers, and more, and ultimately, winds up teaching chemistry to mothers via her cooking show. This book was a pure delight (though it is filled with heavy themes; do not be fooled by its fun cover!) and I enjoyed being in this world so much.

Favorite Nonfiction

Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by Suleika Jaouad – This book was a masterpiece. Suleika Jaouad has such a beautiful way of writing, and how she managed to write about her cancer diagnosis in her early twenties, the cancer treatment that nearly killed her, and the road trip she took when she was declared cancer-free is beyond me. This book is magnificent. It’s brutal. Suleika doesn’t shy away from showing us all facets of herself: the good and the bad. Cancer patients aren’t angels on earth: they are real humans going through one of the shittiest things a person can go through and aren’t always the most pleasant people to be around. I was sad to learn that Suleika’s leukemia had returned in late 2021, but from her Instagram, she seems to have finished treatment and can now focus on healing and getting her life back. I can only hope she has many, many years of health and happiness ahead of her.

Favorite Romance

Book Lovers by Emily Henry – How could I have any other book as my favorite romance of the year? This book gave me all of the happy feels, and I believe it is the book that has finally edged out The Hating Game as my all-time favorite romance. Nora and Charlie’s banter and the sweet way they fell in love just warmed my heart, and it was the kind of book I coudn’t put down and thought about long after I finished it. I thought it was realistic, completely adorable, and didn’t fall for many of the romance tropes that grind my gears. I loved it!

Favorites by Genre

Favorite Literary Fiction

N/A – I went through my list and I didn’t read too much literary fiction this year and what I did read wasn’t anything I could list as a “favorite.”

Favorite Contemporary Fiction

All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle – This was such a sweet book about a lovable curmudgeon, which is one of my favorite fiction tropes. Hubert Bird is a lonely man who is living alone and sustains himself with his regular phone calls with his daughter who lives in Australia. He lies to her during these phone calls, talking about all the things he’s doing and people he’s seeing, when he’s not doing anything or seeing anyone. The story is about how Hubert forms his own community to ease his loneliness (and prove to his daughter that he does have friends), and it was just so beautiful.

Runner-Up: Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson

Favorite Historical Fiction

Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid – I know some people balk at calling this historical fiction since part of it takes place in the 1990s. But y’all, that was 30 years ago at this point and I feel confident calling this historical fiction. This is the story of Carrie Soto, a tennis legend, and her return to the court to win back her title. Carrie is unapologetically herself and, well, she can be a bit of a bitch, but there was just something about her that I loved and couldn’t get enough of. This story was propulsive, fun, and I flew threw it. (Note: There has been some criticism of Taylor Jenkins Reid, a white woman, writing about a Latina character. Since these criticisms are coming from people of color, I do take their criticisms to heart and hope TJR does as well. It’s not that white people cannot write about POC; it’s about the fact that the majority of writers who are POC are not given the same publishing dollars and platform as white authors like TJR. More here.)

Runner-Up: The Summer Before the War by Helen Simonson

Favorite Contemporary Romance

Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake – Before I read this book, I had yet to read a satisfying sapphic romance. Most of the ones I’d read didn’t feel realistic or were really bland and boring. But this one had everything I wanted in a good f/f romance: witty characters, a propulsive plot, a great meet-cute, and a dark moment that felt totally realistic. I loved it so much!

Runner-Up: The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

Favorite Historical Romance

A Wicked Kind of Husband by Mia Vincy – This book is a prime example of not judging a book by its cover. The cover is… not great, but the story inside more than makes up for it. It’s a really fun historical romance involving a husband and wife who only saw each other on their wedding day, and the next time they come across each other, it’s two years later on the streets of London… and they don’t even recognize each other. What a fun concept, huh?! I loved it, mostly because enemies-to-lovers is my jam.

Runner-Up: Three Nights with a Scoundrel by Tessa Dare

Favorite YA

Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian – This was such a magnificent story about three teens growing up in the middle of the AIDS crisis at the end of the 1980s. Each holds a different connection to AIDS: Judy, whose uncle has AIDS; Art, who documents the AIDS crisis through photographs; and Reza, who is hiding his sexuality because he’s scared of AIDS. It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking story about how the AIDS crisis was affecting teens during this time, and I am so grateful to the author for writing it.

Runner-Up: The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

Favorite Mystery/Thriller

The Maid by Nita Prose – If I was still listing out my favorite books 1-10, this book would be high on the list. It was such a fun thriller and I liked that it was more about Molly, the main character, and the found family she created for herself than the mystery at the heart of the novel. Molly was a character I couldn’t help falling in love with. She was so sweet and I wanted to protect her at all costs. When I finished this book, I hugged it to my chest.

Runner-Up: The Nothing Man by Catherine Ryan Howard

Favorite Memoir/Essay Collection

You Got Anything Stronger: Stories by Gabrielle Union – This was such a beautiful essay collection from Gabrielle Union, covering so many topics. Some of the more poignant essays were Gabrielle talking about her struggle to conceive and ultimately using a surrogate, her stepchild coming out as trans and how she and her husband (Dwyane Wade) responded, and the time she found herself in a white supremacist bar in Croatia in 2019 and had to run for her life. She is open and vulnerable, talking about motherhood, aging, life in Hollywood, and more.

Runner-Up: A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold

Superlatives

The Most Disappointing DNF

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles – I was really excited to start this book and thought it was going to be a home run, but it turned out, I was really, really bored by the plot and gave it up after about 150 pages. I really gave it a try, but it was not for me. At least right now.

The Most Disappointing Book I Read

The Queen of Hearts by Kimmery Martin – I recently reviewed this book on my blog, so you guys know why I was so disappointed in this book. There were multiple instances of fatphobia, casual racism, and classism. This book was written in 2018, and the author should know better.

The Book I Was Most Surprised to Love

How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love by Logan Ury – I have never had any inclination to read a book about dating, but a friend recommended this to me and I decided I had nothing to lose. Imagine my surprise when I ended up loving this book and taking so much away from it! Logan Ury packs in so much interesting tidbits about the science of dating as well as practical tips for making dating apps work better for you.

The Book I Thought I Would Love More Than I Did

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin – Everyone I know has raved about this book so I jumped into it with high expectations, but it just fell flat for me. I think it was just not the right book for me, but I can understand why other people love it!

Most Deserving of the Hype

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeannette McCurdy – This book got all of the buzz in the last quarter of 2022, and I think it was well-deserved. I listened to the book on audio, and while it was a hard book to listen to at times due to the relentless abuse McCurdy suffered from her mother, it was impactful and I am so glad she was able to write this book for herself, if for nothing else.

Least Deserving of the Hype

The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz – Ughhh, this book. It was such a slog. The main character, Jacob, was so boring and one-dimensional and the foreshadowing was heavy-handed. I also thought the book within the book (which was supposed to be this best-selling masterpiece) was not really that well-written. Maybe I’m just not into white male protagonists anymore. Anyway, this novel got a ton of buzz in 2021 but I just didn’t get it.

The Book I Loved That Other People Hated

When She Woke by Hillary Jordan – This book has a pretty low Goodreads rating (3.67) but I gave it 5 stars! I think I just read it at the right time because the whole premise just worked perfectly for me, and I flew through the book. I think it’s a book that would be hard to read in the post-Roe America we live in now, though.

The Book I Hated That Other People Loved

Emily of New Moon by L.M. Montgomery – This book has a 4.11 rating on Goodreads, and I HAVE QUESTIONS. This is the kind of book that did not age well, and did not have the same charm as Anne of Green Gables. It also involved a really troubling relationship between Emily (age 11) and a family friend (age 36), especially since he routinely asked her if she found him attractive. Gross.

The Underrated Gem of the Year

Susannah Nix’s “King Family” series – I had a hard time choosing a book for this category, as I didn’t read too many underrated books that I really, really loved. In the end, I chose the King Family series by Susannah Nix. This is a contemporary romance series, and I really want Nix to be a lot more popular than she currently is. She writes such fun romances and I devour each and every one! Plus, how can you deny titles such as “Cream and Punishment,” “Pint of Contention,” and “Mint to Be”? COME ON.

What was your favorite book of 2022? What book did you read in 2022 that you don’t think was worth the hype?

Categories: Recurring Series

Best of 2022 | A Month-by-Month Recap

Putting together my yearly recap is a labor of love. It involves reading through my blog posts from the previous year to remember what I was doing and how I was feeling, as well as sourcing images and putting them into a collage. I’ve been working on this post for about a week now (woof) and it’s a solid 2,500 words. You’re welcome, friends. What a year 2022 was!

JANUARY

  • I started off my annual goal of going for a 5K walk in a local park every month with a bang by going for a long walk with my mom and the dogs on Martin Luther King Jr. day. The dogs had fun and so did we!
  • I had a terrible anxiety episode on a Friday night when I couldn’t get ahold of my mom for 12 hours. We talk every day on the phone and we hadn’t talked that day, so of course, I imagined the worst-case scenarios. I didn’t sleep at all that night and couldn’t shut my mind off for anything. She was fine, just went to bed early. But it took me a while to come down from that episode, and I really do think it impacted me for months afterward.
  • I had lots of family time this weekend, as my brother, nephew, and I spent almost every Saturday and Sunday at my mom’s house to watch the playoff games.
  • Bri texted me to say she had been thinking about this podcast idea I talked to her about at the end of 2021 and she wanted to do it. AHH. I was excited to make it happen but also really nervous. It felt like such a big undertaking, starting a podcast, and I was scared I didn’t have what it took. We had a few brainstorming sessions this month, going through what we wanted our podcast to look like, figuring out the name, and coming up with episode ideas.
  • On the last day of January, my promotion was officially announced to my team. This was my last month of being a content writer!

FEBRUARY

  • I kicked off February by starting my new job as content team manager, and went through some growing pains that first month. It was weird to not be as busy as I used to be! And I had this weird anxiety that I could be fired at any moment because I couldn’t bring tangible value to my role the way I used to be able to (“I’m writing X amount of pages every month!”)
  • The Winter Olympics were fun to watch, mostly to see Nathen Chen (figure skating) and Chloe Kim (snowboarding) win their gold medals. But it was also heartbreaking to witness the downfall of some athletes who had trained so long and so hard for this moment.
  • I bought a new coffee table and it was super easy to put together. I love it so, so much. It’s the perfect size for my living room!
  • We surprised Mikaela with a mini celebration during our February book club, as she was due to give birth a few weeks after our meeting. I brought vegan, gluten-free cupcakes for her and we gave her a gift card.
  • Russia declared war on Ukraine, and it was horrifying and so sad to see the images and stories coming out of Ukraine. It’s devastating that the war is still raging even now, but the Ukrainian people are fighting like hell to keep their country.

MARCH

  • I started the month with a long weekend, dogsitting Chip and Lucy. It was my first time dogsitting both of them at once, and we had a lovely time together! There were lots of snuggles on the couch, lots of reading time, and lots of outside time.
  • My mom woke up one morning to find a rather large lump on her chest. Luckily, she had a doctor’s appointment the next day and while her doctor wasn’t too concerned, he scheduled a breast ultrasound for later that week just to be cautious. Thankfully, it was only a cyst but boy did I worry myself silly for the many days leading up to the appointment. Afterward, we celebrated by getting brunch at The Library.
  • My best friend Mikaela welcomed a sweet baby girl, Eleni Kim, on March 21st. She was so tiny when she was born!
  • I had to have a mole on my back fully removed as it came back pre-cancerous. It wasn’t a huge deal, but it did require stitches so my mom had to help me change the bandage every few days as it was in an area of my body I couldn’t reach. I was very glad to get the stitches removed after 10 days!
  • I bought a sit/stand desk! And I hired someone from TaskRabbit to put it together for me, which was an A+ decision. I hate putting furniture together, and it was nice to be able to pawn that work off to someone else who does enjoy it. The new desk takes up so much less space in my apartment and makes my living room feel so much bigger.

APRIL

  • Bri and I recorded our first-ever podcast episode in April. We recorded the intro episode, and we had such a fun time. We actually recorded the intro 5 or 6 times, but ended up releasing our first take since it was the most natural.
  • I went back to therapy. After my intake session, I wasn’t sure if this therapist was the right one for me but I decided to give it a few sessions before deciding anything. Our first official session was so healing and helpful, and I realized right away that I had found someone good.
  • We had some fun memory-making days with the dogs! Early in the month, we all went to the SPCA 3K Pet Walk and had a great time walking around and enjoying all the doggos. Then, we did a day trip together where we all went out to lunch (the dogs are not great at restaurants: Chip barked ferociously every time our server came by, sigh) and then took the dogs to a dog ice cream parlor for a fun treat. While there, I saw a cat on a leash!
  • We had book club at Bri’s house where we did a frozen pizza taste test. The verdict for me: Screamin’ Sicilian frozen pizza is amazing. Mikaela also came to book club and brought baby Eleni who was passed around for snuggles.
  • I went out to brunch on Easter with my mom and stepdad. We had mimosas and ate a decent meal. (It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it was fine.) It was fun to get dressed up, though, and enjoy some time with them!

MAY

  • I kicked off the month by going to a u-pick flower farm with Amber. There were rows and rows and rows of wildflowers and sunflowers that we could pick and add to our cups to take home.
  • I celebrated Mother’s Day with a delicious brunch with my mom, stepdad, brother, sister-in-law, and my nephews.
  • I went back to the office to work for one day. It was fun to hug a whole bunch of people I haven’t seen in-person for two years. I also went out to lunch with a few coworkers and then enjoyed happy hour with more coworkers after work.
  • Mikaela and I were able to resume our writing dates! She brought Eleni with her, and I was more than happy to snuggle a sleepy newborn while I worked on my writing project.
  • I chopped off 10 or so inches of my hair, going back to a “lob” for the first time in many years. It was fun to do something different with my hair, although I think I prefer it long.

JUNE

  • We took Chip and Lucy to the dog beach. It was very cute to watch them swim in the ocean for the first time, although they were a bit unsettled by all the big dogs around them!
  • My mom and I spent a week in Canada and New York, exploring Toronto, both sides of Niagara Falls, and the sweet town of Niagara-on-the-Lake.
  • I got Covid. I managed to make it two years and three months without ever getting brought down by this nasty disease, but it happened and it was very unpleasant.
  • Roe v Wade was overturned, in a Supreme Court decision that makes no sense and had has disastrous effects to so many women already. This is a horrifying reality to live in.
  • My company announced that they were giving us unlimited PTO. What a relief to not have to worry about “saving up” for PTO when I want to take time off.

JULY

  • My mom got Covid (likely from me) and I had a lot of anxiety about her. We had to postpone all of her birthday celebrations and then my stepdad got Covid and my brother got it, too, and it was just a month of sickness and sadness.
  • I had an emergency therapy appointment because I was not handling my mom’s Covid diagnosis well, and cried a lot. I don’t normally cry in therapy, but this was really restorative and what I needed.
  • Bri and I finished recording all of our podcast episodes for season 1! I had so much fun recording with her, way more fun than I thought I would. (This is not a diss on Bri; I always have fun with her! It’s more that I’m not someone who likes to talk a lot, or so I thought, so I wasn’t sure how I would take to being behind the microphone.)
  • The girls’ big birthday gift, a new cat tower, arrived and they immediately took to using it, which I was surprised about. They still love this cat tower a lot, although Lila never uses the hammocks, which was the sole reason I bought this cat tower, ha.
  • I scheduled my first date since my breakup, only to have the guy cancel on me the day of the date. Sigh.

AUGUST

  • We launched our podcast into the world this month! The Friendship Paradox has been a delight to release and the reception has been nothing short of fantastic. Our listenership is low right now, but just the fact that we have nearly a hundred people listening to every episode feels crazy!
  • Biden announced his student loan forgiveness program that would forgive all of my student loan debt and ensure I don’t have to think about student loans ever again! (Of course, Republicans are doing all they can to quash this program, but I am holding out lots of hope that they won’t succeed.)
  • I went through some major bouts of loneliness this month (and previous months, honestly) and things felt really hard for a long time.
  • I spent a weekend with Chip and Lucy where we did our usual: snuggling on the couch together while I read my book and they snoozed.
  • Bri and I started recording podcast episodes for season 2, which had a much different feel than season 1 but were still really fun to record!

SEPTEMBER

  • I kicked off the month with a fun Labor Day getaway with two of my best friends, Bri and Amber. We spent three days at a resort in Orlando where we floated in the resort’s lazy river, went mini-golfing, went to a cat cafe, and took a sunset airboat ride.
  • I got injured for the first time all year on said vacation, after tripping down a few flights of stairs at our condo. I sprained my big toe and it hurt like hell for a few days.
  • The NFL football season started! It was so good to have Football Sundays with the fam back in my life.
  • At the end of the month, I evacuated with my mom, my stepdad, my fur-siblings, and my two cats when we thought Hurricane Ian would be coming directly for the Tampa Bay area. We snagged a last-minute Airbnb in Ft. Lauderdale, and we’re very grateful when the hurricane took a turn south and missed our area completely.

OCTOBER

  • We launched season 2 of our podcast!
  • My mom’s car needed a very costly repair ($5,000) so she opted to get a new car instead. Unfortunately, the car she bought had to be ordered and delivered so she was car-less for nearly a month. I got to be her Uber driver for that time, shuttling her to appointments and dinners out.
  • I did a fun bathroom refresh where I changed out the shower curtain and rugs, got new bath sheets (which are so luxurious), and added cute lil Command hooks for my towels right outside the shower stall.
  • I got my flu shot and bivalent Covid boosters at the same time on a Friday afternoon, and was very pleased that my only symptom was a sore arm.
  • I bought lots of fun fall decor for my apartment, my first time ever decorating my apartment for fall!
  • I experienced lots and lots of anxiety spirals and spent a lot of time in my head, worrying about endless scenarios.
  • I spent Halloween at my mom’s house where I dressed up like a cat to pass out candy. We had hardly any trick-or-treaters, though!

NOVEMBER

  • I did NaBloPoMo 2022 and published 30 blog posts in 30 days! We had a really great, big group of bloggers join in this year, which was a lot of fun. (And a lot to keep up with!)
  • My mom and I attended Running of the Wieners with Chip and Lucy, and Chip got 2nd place overall! We’ve never had a dog even win in their heat, much less make it to the finals and win, so it was so very exciting.
  • I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. My stepdad cooked dinner and it was delicious!
  • My mom and I went on our first cruise since 2019. We rode a hot air balloon and sipped cocktails poolside in the Bahamas, jumped into a waterfall and tubed down a river in Jamaica, and painted pottery in Haiti.
  • I turned 35! We were in the Bahamas on my birthday, and it was a lovely way to spend a birthday.

DECEMBER

  • I participated in San’s Secret Santa Mug Swap and was delighted by the mug and extra goodies that my Secret Santa, Anne, sent to me.
  • I spent a fun Saturday with friends: a writing date with Mikaela, lunch and making gingerbread houses with coworkers, and a dinner date with Amber.
  • I was shocked and saddened by tWitch dying by suicide. I am still trying to process this loss, and my heart is broken for his wife, his kids, and everyone who was impacted by his life.
  • I enjoyed a lovely Christmas with my family: we went to a candelight Christmas Eve service at a nearby church, had our annual steakhouse Christmas Eve dinner, and had a lovely Christmas Day at home.
  • I ended the year by having coffee with Amber and talking about our goals for 2023.
Categories: Recurring Series

Best of 2022 | My 2022 Goals

Well, here we are. The final check-in on my 2022 goals. How did I end up doing? Welllll… it’s not pretty. Let’s get into it:

Three Big Goals

1) Reduce my sugar intake. Not complete. I didn’t make this goal specific enough. I know better than that!

2) Save $4,000 for a down payment. Not complete. At the end of 2021, I was thinking about becoming a homeowner in the near future. Now, it’s just not something I’m all that interested in. A renter I shall be!

3) Reorganize my blogging categories/tags. Not complete. I made a huge spreadsheet of all the blog posts I’ve written from 2009-2021 and started recategorizing blog posts, but only made it to February 2011 before I put the project on pause.

20 Fun Goals

1) Buy a new mattress. Half-complete. I have most of the money saved, but wanted to add another $500ish to my savings account before I started mattress shopping for real. However, I recently realized that I could use my brother to get a mattress for dirt cheap! He works for a furniture store and has a decent employee discount and he got me some prices on mattresses for under $400! (With a box spring, that price would be a smidge higher but still wayyy lower than using one of those online mattress providers.) This will get done in 2023!

2) Complete the 2022 Unread Shelf Project. Complete! This year, I read:

  • January (the book you’ve been putting off reading): The English Wife by Lauren Willig ★★★☆☆
  • February (a title you couldn’t resist): Wordslut by Amanda Montell ★★★☆☆
  • March (a memoir or biography): Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling ★★★★☆
  • April (a book by an indie publisher or small press): When She Woke by Hillary Jordan ★★★★★
  • May (the shortest unread book on your shelf): The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin ★★★★☆
  • June (a book about a journey): Outlawed by Anna North ★★★☆☆
  • July (a book set in a country/culture different than yours): A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (DNF)
  • August (a book chosen by your friends or family): Pretty Little Things by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton (DNF)
  • September (a book that represents the reader you want to be): The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Dare ★★★☆☆
  • October (a book that makes you nervous): A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold ★★★★★
  • November (a title that starts with the first letter of your name): The Smart One by Jennifer Close ★★☆☆☆
  • December (a classic book): Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison (DNF)

3) Read all of the books added to my Goodreads TBR in 2017. Complete! I DNF-ed almost half of these books, but that’s okay. The goal was to finally give these books that have been languishing on my Goodreads TBR for so long a try, and that’s what I did.

  • Columbine by Dave Cullen ★★★★★
  • I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson DNF
  • All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven ★★★★★
  • Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit DNF
  • Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People by Nadia Bolz-Weber ★★★☆☆
  • Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier DNF
  • The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Killing Young Women by Jessica Valenti ★★★★☆
  • Words in Deep Blue by Cath Crowley ★★★★☆
  • Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader by Anne Fadiman DNF
  • The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland by Rebekah Crane ★★★★☆
  • I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou ★★★☆☆
  • Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer DNF
  • A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold ★★★★★
  • Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult DNF
  • Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward DNF
  • How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life by Heather Havrilesky DNF
  • Does Jesus Really Love Me?: A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America by Jeff Chu ★★★☆☆
  • Flight of Dreams by Ariel Lawhon ★★★★☆
  • Close Enough to Touch by Colleen Oakley ★★★★☆
  • The Nix by Nathan Hill DNF
  • The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord DNF

4) Do 100 Peloton workouts. Not complete. I made it to 66 workouts. Womp, womp.

5) Restart my novel. Not complete. I started a podcast, though, so I did something creative this year.

6) Go back to therapy. Complete! I love therapy.

7) Watch 12 standup specials. Half-complete. I only watched 6 standup specials this year.

  • Taylor Tomlinson, Quarter-Life Crisis ★★★★★ (I cried with laughter from this one. A must-watch!)
  • Nate Bargatze, The Greatest Average American ★★★☆☆ (There were some chuckles, but overall, kinda blah.)
  • Mike Birbiglia, Thank God for Jokes ★★★★☆ (A bit more heartfelt than funny, but still a good special.)
  • Taylor Tomlinson, Look at You ★★★★★ (Is Taylor my favorite stand-up comedian? I think so.)
  • Nicole Byer, BBW ★★★☆☆ (Very, very raunchy!)
  • Iliza Schlesinger, Elder Millenial ★★★★☆ (Soooo funny and her thoughts about dating really spoke to me.)

8) Watch 6 TV series. Complete!

  • Only Murders in the Building – I watched seasons 1 and 2 this year.
  • Ted Lasso – I watched seasons 1 and 2 in May/June.
  • Abbott Elementary – I watched season 1, and it was excellent.
  • Good Girls – I watched season 1 and I’m halfway through season 2.
  • Cheer – I watched almost the entirety of season 2 while I was holed up at home with Covid.
  • Love is Blind – This show is so bad, it’s good. I watched seasons 2 and 3 this year.

9) Launch two seasons of our podcast. Complete!

10) Get my third tattoo. Not complete. My social anxiety is holding me back on this one. I just need to make the appointment!

11) Walk one 5k a month, in a different place each time. Not complete. I only managed 3 walks.

  • January 17, 2022 – Seminole Park – 2.82 miles with my mom and the dogs in 1 hour, 12 minutes
  • February 20, 2022 – Walsingham Park – 3.1 miles solo in 1 hour, 16 minutes
  • May 14, 2022 – Crescent Lake Park – 3.1 miles solo in 1 hour, 14 minutes

12) Redo my bathroom. Complete!

13) Get microdermabrasion or laser treatment—whatever is the better option for dealing with my acne scars. Not complete. Money was a little tight near the mid-point to the end of the year, and I know this would be a significant cost.

14) Learn how to French braid. Not complete. A goal for 2023!

15) Go on one date a month. Not complete.

16) Put an extra $1,000 toward my car loan. Not complete.

17) Make 12 new recipes. Half-complete. I made 9 new recipes, but didn’t quite get to doing one new recipe every month.

18) Make a recipe book. Not complete.

19) Cut gluten out of my diet for one month. Not complete.

20) Buy a coffee table and a floor lamp. Complete! I bought a cute coffee table in January and a floor lamp in March.

Well, that was depressing. I managed to fully complete 7 goals and halfway complete 3 goals. Out of 20. (We won’t even get into the three big goals I originally planned for.) There are many reasons I did so poorly this year: mental health struggles, financial woes. I also feel like I have a lot of aspirational goals on this list, but didn’t really break those goals down into more manageable chunks to make them more attainable. Ah, well. Live and learn, right? I’m not going to beat myself up over this poor performance. It is what it is! I also accomplished a lot of other things this year, things I didn’t add to my goals list, and I’m going to choose to be proud of those accomplishments.

Happy New Year, friends! I can’t believe this is my last blog post of 2022. See ya in 2023!

Categories: Recurring Series

Best of 2022 | The Year in Blogging

It’s been a good year for the blog. And I didn’t realize how good until I looked at my yearly stats. I don’t worry about my blogging stats; this blog is just a place for me to come and talk about my life, and I love that there is now this community of other bloggers who are doing the same. We’re not trying to make money here; we just like having the space to chat and connect. But I do like doing a check-in at the end of the year to put together this post. It’s interesting to see what people are most connecting with, what old blog posts are still getting thousands of views (it’s so crazy!), and how many people are stopping by my blog on a daily basis. It’s always more than I expect!

By the Numbers

  • 57,000 unique views
  • 13,000 visitors
  • 1,088 words per post on average
  • 1,400 comments
  • 180 posts
  • 121 countries represented in my views (with the United States, Canada, and Poland being my top three)
  • 165 subscribers

My number of unique views, unique visitors, and comments skyrocketed this year (+17,000, +2,000, and +600). My average words per post also increased (whoops) to over 1,000, and that’s an increase of 138 words per post from 2021. Will 2023 be the year I bring that average down to a more reasonable number? We shall see! I also posted a lot more—41 more posts, to be exact!—and that’s likely because I didn’t take two blog breaks, like I did in 2021.

My Top 5 Blog Posts of 2022

(Blog posts written in 2022, in order of most pageviews.)

  • My New Rules for Dating – I loved writing this post after reading Logan Ury’s book, How to Not Die Alone. While I haven’t exactly implemented the rules I laid out in this post, I did enjoy thinking about how to make the dating apps work better for me. I really do not enjoy the dating life (which is why I’m not on the apps as much as I should be), but I do desire partnership so I need to get better about using the apps to hopefully find that special person.
  • Stitch Fix | Summer 2022 – I think the reason this post made it on this list is that it was the last post I published before I took a few weeks off blogging while I was away on my Niagara Falls trip. In this post, I also talked about my body image and finding clothes that make me feel good no matter what my body looks like, which garnered a lot of (kind!) comments.
  • TGIF (v. 42) – I’m surprised that this post wound up as my third most popular post of 2022! There were a lot of comments on this post, which might be due to asking everyone to vote on their favorite pair of glasses I got in my Warby Parker try-on pack.
  • A Friday Morning Coffee Date – In this coffee date post, I got really vulnerable about my dating struggles, my mental health, and some weight-related challenges. Apparently, you guys like it when I’m really honest about what’s going on in my life!
  • My Experience with Covid-19 – I got Covid for the first time ever in June, after my Niagara Falls trip. (Wear your mask on planes, folks!) In this post, I talked about my experience with Covid, which really wasn’t as terrible as other people’s experiences. I ended up giving Covid to my mom and my brother (and my mom gave it to my stepdad!) and they all had it much worse than me.

My All-Time Most Popular Blog Posts

These stats haven’t budged in a few years, and this is the second year in a row I have gotten more than 2,000 views on the “10 Things I Like About Myself” post. I’m not sure why that post (written in 2014!) is still getting so many views.

  1. I’m 27 and Scared to Move Out (+221 views)
  2. On Being a Socially Anxious Introvert (+2 views)
  3. 10 Things I Like About Myself (+2,271 views)
  4. “What is meant for me is already mine.” (+506 views)
  5. Rules for Living with a Dachshund (+144 views)

Other Favorite Posts

  1. Some Thoughts on 12 Years of Estrangement – I’ve been estranged from my father for 12 years now. I was just 22 when I made the decision to sever our relationship, which feels so young, but also, I am so proud of that girl who decided she wouldn’t accept that kind of volatile relationship from someone. Becoming estranged is not an easy decision (especially when the person is your own father), but it was the best one I could have made. In this post, I talk about that decision and what being estranged from someone really feels like.
  2. That Time of the Month – I loved the discussion that Kelsey and Erica had about their periods on The Girl Next Door podcast so much that I decided to write an entire blog post about my own period—my history with periods, what periods are like for me these days, and funny stories I have about menstruation. I think we need to be more open and honest about things like periods, and I loved the discussion I had in the comments with some of you guys after writing this post.
  3. Living with Mental Illness – This year started off with one of my worst anxiety nights in a really long time and in this post, I talk about that experience and what it feels like to come down from a place of heightened anxiety. Bringing people into the real world of someone with an anxiety disorder is something I’m really passionate about, not only because we need to lessen the stigma of mental illness but also because it helps me feel less alone when other people say, “I’ve been there, too.”
  4. The Girl I Was Then – I’ve spent a lot of time this year reading through the archives of my blog as I work on my blog recategorization project, and it’s been really hard to read older blog posts from when I was in my early twenties and realize how hard I was on myself. I didn’t treat myself very kindly, and this post is a love letter to that girl to let her know she was okay as she was.
  5. My Evolution As a Reader – I wrote a long post all about how my reading has evolved throughout the years, starting in elementary school and continuining through college and beyond. I have always been a reader and it was fun to think about the different ways reading showed up in my life during different times.

It’s been a good year of blogging and I can’t wait to see what sorts of things I feel pulled to write about in 2023!