A few years ago, I realized that my mom is the great love of my life.
If you’re lucky enough, you’ll have one of these great loves. For many people, it’s their romantic partner. For others, it’s a dear friend. For me, it’s my mom. She is my person in every sense of the word, the first person I think of when I have good news and the only person who can comfort me when I have bad news. Seeing her face immediately calms my nervous system.
Our relationship is not your average mother/daughter relationship. It’s not even your average mother-daughter best-friend relationship. It goes much deeper than that. She is imprinted on me in only the way a great love can be.
There are reasons for this closeness. Growing up with an abusive husband (her) and an abusive father (me) made us closer because she became my safe place in a volatile childhood. Even when my dad was at his worst, I knew my mom would be the calm in the storm. And then later, after she had divorced my dad and my brother had moved out to live with his then-girlfriend (now wife), it was just the two of us against the world. For years and years, it was just her and me, living together, our lives seamlessly intertwined.
My mom has never asked me to be anything but who I am. She hasn’t pressured me to date more or made me feel bad about not being in a serious relationship. She’s never questioned my desire to be child-free, even knowing how much joy she got from being a mother. I was terrified to come out to her, so worried that it would impact our relationship, but all she ever wants is for me to be happy and satisfied with my life.
Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s a different kind of birthday, as it comes after a big change in her life, but she reminds me time and time again of how strong and brave and badass she is every day. She was in her thirties when she left her marriage, two tweens in tow, to move back in with her parents. She was in her forties when she left the career she had been doing her whole life (teaching preschool) to forge a new career in insurance. She was in her fifties when she remarried and took another chance on love. And now, in her sixties, she’s starting over again. She’s got a pretty good track record of figuring it out and living the life she wants, and I am excited to see what this new pathway brings for her.
My mom is the best person I know. She is my favorite human, my ride or die, my bestie for the restie. Some people are lucky enough to marry the great love of their life and build a family with them. But I know I am the luckiest that the greatest love of my life is the woman who grew me in her belly, raised me, and made me into the woman I am today.
Happy birthday, Moomie. I love you to infinity!
Happy birthday Stephany’s mom!
Oh Stephany, I love this beautiful tribute to your mom. Your love for each other just shines through in all these photos and in your words. I love that you have such a special and close relationship. Your mom is a very lovely person and I wish her all the happiness today, on her birthday, and in the coming years. How lovely to have such a relationship!
Also, it makes me smile because I know how old your mom is – same birth year as my husband!
I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating her – I know you will. I hope there is cake involved! xo
Thank you so much! I really cherish our strong and close relationship. I know the mother/daughter dynamic can be very fraught, so I’m grateful it isn’t for us!
What a lovely tribute to your mom and your amazing relationship. Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!!
Thank you – we had a wonderful day together!
GAH. What a lovely tribute to you mom!!! Does she read your blog? I hope she sees this- it would be the best birthday present in the world.
Reading this makes me think about the relationship I have with my own kids. I’m not as close with them as you are with your mom- you guys had special circumstances that led to a special relationship. But I’m still close with them (especially my son) and I think they know that I’m the person who will always, always be on their side, no matter what. A mom’s relationship with her kids is unique, unlike any others in their lives, including romantic partners.
Happy Birthday Stephany’s Mom!!!!!
She does and did read this post! 🙂
There is truly something special about a mother, especially one that isn’t fraught with tension. I’m glad your kids have you as their mom!
Happy birthday to your mom! I love that you have such a special relationship with her. It is very unique and came about due to unfortunate circumstances. But it is a silver lining to the challenging things you’ve both faced in life. I hope the decade to come is a wonderful one for her. She’s a tough gal and she’s passed that onto her daughter!
Yes, yes. I really hit the mom jackpot!
Happy Birthday, Stefany’s mom!
The love and support that you have for your mom, and that she has for you is so apparent in what you write. I love hearing about the adventures that the two of you have together – from the every day errands to the travels abroad. The two of you are so cute – I’m glad you have each other’s backs.
Thank you so much! It’s a special relationship. <3
Oh, Stephany! What a beautiful tribute to your mom! Happy birthday! How wonderful that she inspires you so and makes you feels so seen and loved. What a blessing for both of you… Long may your wonderful adventures continue 💗
Thank you so much! Our relationship is the biggest blessing in my life.
What an amazing tribute to your mom. I cannot imagine a better birthday gift. I’m so happy for you that your mom has always been there for you and shown her support. Amazing. I’m sending her wishes for an outstanding birthday. May the coming year be full of fresh starts that don’t feel exhausting, but feel exhilarating. Happy birthday!
Thank you! It was such a pleasure to write this for her!
Happy, happy birthday to your mom! I love that you’re so close and that she’s been such a constant in your life despite her own sometimes difficult journey. But she sounds like someone who does not get up and takes life at it comes! It’s a wonderful role model and I am so glad she has the same constant support in you that she is for you. I wish her all the best for this next decade (and beyond!)
Thank you, San! You are so kind. <3
This post made me well up with happiness. What a wonderful, safe, loving relationship you two have! I love this line so much: “My mom has never asked me to be anything but who I am.” If I have one goal as a parent, it’s exactly that.
I hope your mom had a fabulous birthday, and I wish both of you many new adventures together in the coming months and years. xxxooo
That’s the best thing we could want from our parents! It breeds confidence and safety that kids need.
Thank you!
This is so beautiful! How lovely to have such a wonderful relationship with your mom. Happy birthday, Stephany’s mom!
Oh Stephanie, this was beautiful!! Happy birthday mom!!!!!!!! May you have many years of health and happiness!!!
What a lovely post, and (belated) Happy Birthday to your mom! I always love reading about your adventures together, whether they are big adventures or small every day ones. The mother – child relationship is singular, and I’m glad that yours is such a good one.