Anyone who has read my blog for any period of time will know that my mom and I are best friends. In the sense that we talk on the phone multiple times a day, we travel together, and we hang out at least a few times a week. I tell my mom about any little thing that happens in my life. If I make a doctor’s appointment, I tell her. If I cook a particularly great meal, I tell her. If I have an unsettling dream, she’s gonna know all about it.
We have a healthy (if slightly co-dependent, at least on my end) relationship, but I want to be very clear with everyone here: Teenage Stephany could be a bit of a brat. My mom didn’t think I needed to tell these stories, but I think it’s important to understand that tween/teen girls can be brutal to their moms, even those who grow up and realize their mom is actually the coolest person ever (as I do).
Story #1: Wishing I had a different mom
There was a girl in my church group who seemed to have the most amazing life. She had three older siblings, two parents who were married and seemed to really like each other, and oh yeah, her family was pretty rich. This girl was beautiful and thin and had great hair. She was everything I aspired to be. And in my most diabolical fights with my mom, I would tell her, “I wish Girl’s mom was my mom!”
Brutal.
Imagine being a single mom, trying her best, and your kid throws this insult at you! I try to apologize for this comment at least once a month because, man, it was nasty.
Story #2: Writing words
I was a very emotional kid, and especially so when I was dealing with my period (I started early, in fifth grade). Add to that just usual teenage hormones and dealing with a dad who was in and out of my life (and jail), and things would come to a head now and then. After one spectacular fight (I truly don’t remember what it was about), I took a pen and angrily slashed out the words “I hate my mom” right on my dresser. A few hours later, feeling completely embarrassed by my reaction, I covered the words with a sticker, but somehow, my mom found out what I had written, and she was not happy.
Story #3: A new hairdo
Here’s a quick story, and one that those of you with teen daughters may relate to. My mom came home from the salon one evening with a different hair color, and said to me, “Do you like it? I like it!” And my sarcastic response to her was, “Well, that makes one of us.”
There are many more stories where this came from, and while we still have our moments (we have had some epic fights on vacation!), they are few and far between these days. The point is, it’s hard being a teen girl, and it’s hard being a mom of a teen. My mom was doing her best, and so was I, and we emerged from those years with a stronger relationship and plenty of inside stories to laugh about.
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