Loving… my new role at work. It has been quite the change to shift from a writer to a manager this month. After 8 years of working on deadlines and writing taking up the majority of my tasks, I’ve relished having different tasks to accomplish and settling into my role as a manager. At the beginning of the month, I spent a whole day engaged in hour-long conversations with each person on my team (I have five people), which was exhausting but also really exciting. There is so much potential on my team, and I’m really looking forward to helping each of my team members grow. There is a lot I have to learn about how to be an effective manager, but I’d like to think I’m well on my way to that.

Loathing… new job jitters. I really didn’t expect to go through the rigamarole of new job jitters, considering I’m not at a new company but whoa, did they hit this month! While I am still as busy as I was when I was a writer, I’m busy in an entirely new way, in a way that makes me look back at the end of each day and wonder if I accomplished anything. I know I did, but it’s hard to measure my accomplishments the way I could when I was writing full-time. I’ve also had these random anxiety spirals that I’m going to get fired at any moment, which is fun! Now that I don’t have any writing tasks to show proof of my value to my company, I’m all “do I provide any value at all anymore?!” which is just DUMB all around because hello, I was promoted because I provide a ton of value! It’s so silly, but that’s how my brain works.

Watching… The Olympics! Well, I watched the first week of the Olympics and then I lost interest. I’m not sure why. I think I just wanted to do something else with my evenings than watch Olympics coverage. But I did get to see Nathan Chen and Chloe Kim win gold medals, and I really enjoyed the men’s snowboard half-pipe. There were some truly astonishing tricks!

I’m also still working my way through Brooklyn 99 (halfway through season 6!) and Younger (nearly finished with season 3).

Listening to… Mall Talk. It’s a podcast all about the mall, nostalgic memories of the mall, and the stores we shop in. While I don’t spend a lot of time in malls these days, this podcast has brought back so many memories for me! The mall was just the place to be when we were young, wasn’t it? I’m diving into the archives of this podcast and enjoying it a lot!

Grateful for… a benign mole. When I went for my skin check earlier this month, my dermatologist found a mole on my lower back that was a little worrisome to her so she took a sample to biopsy. Thankfully, it came back benign and all is okay! I think that I’ve had to get a mole biopsied every single time I’ve had a skin check (my back is very mole-y) so this is standard procedure for me, but I’m always relieved when nothing worrisome comes back. And this is just another reminder of how important regular skin checks are!

Anticipating… a four-day weekend next week. My mom and stepdad are going away and asked me to watch the puppers for a few nights, which I am so excited to do! The two of them haven’t gone away since they got Lucy, so it will be my first time with both dogs and I can’t wait to spend copious amounts of time snuggling them and getting covered in dog kisses. I always sleep over at their house when I’m dog sitting since it’s easier than bringing the dogs to my place (my girls would be MOST unhappy!) and I just decided to give myself a little work reprieve while I was at it. Why not?! I don’t have anything planned for this weekend, but I’m sure I’ll find plenty of ways to fill up my time.

Researching… sit/stand desks, still. I am definitely going to buy one, and probably soon! I have my eye on this desk from Amazon, which has nearly 8,000 reviews. It’s only $240, too, which feels so cheap for a sit/stand desk (why did I think these desks were thousands of dollars?!) Plus, I think I could sell my current desk for a pretty good price to offset the cost of the desk.

Planning… our Niagara Falls vacation! I love the planning phase of a vacation, and I am having a blast developing our itinerary. Our tentative plans at this moment involve flying into Buffalo on a Wednesday and driving right over the border to Canada. We’ll spend three days at Niagara Falls (probably longer than we need, but we love slow-paced vacations where we only do a few things during the day and have low-key evenings), one day in Toronto, and one day in Buffalo before flying home on a Tuesday. If you have any recommendations for restaurants or things to do in any of those locations, I’m all ears!

Thinking about… Ukraine. The photos and videos coming out about what’s going on there are horrifying and scary. I feel so helpless when I watch the news and see what these people are going through. The uncertainty of what’s to come has to be terrifying. Jessica Yellin posted this really sobering clip of a subway station in Ukraine being used by citizens as a bomb shelter. Her caption was really poignant: “You’re going to hear a lot about Putin, Biden, sanctions, world oil prices and more. Let’s also remember the lived reality for Ukrainians. Yesterday was work, school and life. Today, bombs, checkpoints, and praying for safety seeking shelter underground in the subway.”

Wishing… that our cool weather had stuck around for just a bit longer. Ugh. It’s now officially “too hot to take a walk in the middle of the day” weather. We’re regularly seeing temps in the mid-80s, which would be a nice cool down in September or October but in February, it just feels wrong. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted, right? And I know many of you are wishing for sunshine and warm weather, so I shouldn’t complain too much.

Buying… a floor lamp! I was at Target last weekend and was shocked to find that the floor lamp that I’ve had my eye on and has been out of stock for months was back in stock! Whaaaat. I had an alert set up on my Target app, but it never let me know. Unfortunately, when I put the lamp together and placed it in a corner of my living room, I… kinda hated it. It’s a little too short and doesn’t give off as much light as I’d hoped. I’m going to return it and get this one instead. I’m hoping it meets my needs better!

Feeling… relieved after a period of my blog being down last night. I think I was just trying to access it during a time when GoDaddy was renewing my domain, but it threw me for a loop! I was furiously looking up my domain registration on Google and logging into HostGator (where my blog is hosted) to figure out what was going on. And then I decided to just step away from it for the night and believe it would all work itself out. Of course, I also started spiraling a bit, wondering if this was it for my blog. It was all going to be gone forever. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal, I could start a new blog if the worst came to worst… or maybe I would just stop blogging entirely. Maybe this was a sign. But the palpable relief I felt when I pulled up my blog and everything was working fine was the actual sign that this blog means the world to me. I’m so glad it’s up and running again. Whew.

What are you currently loving and loathing?

Loving… my new fur-sister Lucy who is so smol and adorable. She makes Chip look ginormous! I’m obsessed with her and have told my mom she’s only allowed to Facetime with me now when Lucy is with her (sometimes she’s sleeping in her crate—not ok!) Tonight, I’m going to spend some one-on-one time with her (and Chip) while my mom and stepdad go out to eat, and I’ve been looking forward to this puppy-sitting date all week long!

Loathing… how nervous I get before some meetings, especially if I have to lead it. Even if it’s just a one-on-one meeting, I have to do so much prep beforehand to make sure I know what I want to say and then get crazy butterflies in my stomach in the hour leading up to the meeting. Anyone else?!

Watching… season three of The Crown and season five of Schitt’s Creek. This season of The Crown introduced an all-new cast and I’m still getting used to Olivia Coleman as the Queen instead of Claire Foy! But it’s very good and informative. (The third episode of season three, about the Aberfan disaster, was horrifying and something I’ve never heard of before!)

Listening to… In God We Lust, a podcast miniseries about Jerry Falwell Jr and this crazy scandal involving a love triangle between him, his wife, and a pool attendant. It’s fascinating!

Grateful for… really excellent customer service. I placed a big order on Chewy last week and when it arrived, the plastic box of Greenies had split open and spilled all over the box. I immediately sent an email to Chewy’s customer service and within 10 minutes, they had responded and placed a new order for a new box of Greenies for me (at no cost to me, of course)! Their email was super cute, too, and I was impressed with their service! Excellent customer service gives me all of the heart-eyes.

Anticipating… the three-day weekend. While I’ll likely have to do a little work this weekend (mainly editing), I’m going to try to limit it to one hour per day. I plan to spend a lot of time with Lucy, take a long nap every day, and catch up on reading! I feel like I’ve barely had time to read this week because work has been so insane.

Thinking about… some really exciting work changes that could spell major career growth for me. I had a very interesting meeting with my director last week where she discussed some of the growth potential she sees in me, which is really gratifying to hear. I’m so glad I bring so much value to my team and that she’s thinking about ways I could add even more! But it also has me thinking long and hard about the ways I want to grow, not just the ways I can grow. Does that make sense? There’s a difference between what is available for me and what will actually suit my needs and skills.

Wishing… for a new therapist. I think I’d like to go back to therapy (more as a “tune-up” and to talk through some stuff in my life) but finding a therapist is always such a struggle. I may end up going back to my old therapist—she was wonderful, but I also felt a little like we had hit a wall and there was not much further I could go with her in my mental health journey. So that’s why I’m thinking of looking for a new therapist, but ugh, it’s really the most arduous task and I’m also a little concerned about the cost. On my old insurance plan, it was $50 per session, which is doable with my budget. But I’m on a high-deductible plan now so I’d be paying much more (one of my friends who is in therapy is on a similar plan and pays $150 per session, eeks). However, I think I get three sessions free so there’s that! Anyway, I think maybe I’ll make a goal for June to find three therapists I’d like to contact so I can get the ball rolling on this.

Buying… knock-off Airpods. So, my Airpod problem that I hoped Apple would fix for free (some Airpods made before October 2020 have a defect) ended up being another issue entirely. And since I didn’t get Applecare on my Airpods, the cost to replace was $160. Yeah, no thanks. I know it was stupid not to get Applecare (it’s only $30 for two years—what were you thinking, Steph?!) but I just didn’t figure I would need it. JOKE’S ON ME. Anyway, I bought a pair of $30 knock-off Airpods on Amazon and they seem to work pretty well! They turn on and connect to my phone immediately when I put them in my ears, but need to be in their case to turn off (Airpods turn off if you just take them out of your ears, which is really cool). I’ll probably end up buying another pair of Airpods in the future (this time, with Applecare), but these little knock-offs will work for now.

Feeling… happy about Olive’s progress. I haven’t given an update on Olive (my friend’s baby with a rare, aggressive form of cancer) in a while, but she’s speeding through her chemo treatments like a boss! She mostly experiences a lack of appetite and extreme fatigue from her treatments (and sometimes mouth sores, poor thing!). She has two more cycles left before she is done and I cannot wait to celebrate when that happens.

What are you currently loving, loathing, and wishing for?

Loving… my new bedtime. I’m trying to focus on getting into bed by 9 p.m. every night, something I haven’t been doing for a really long time. (At least since I’ve been working from home.) A lot of times, I don’t even start my nighttime routine until 9:30 or 10:00 and then I’m rushing around trying to get everything done so I can get to bed before 11. It’s really unpleasant. To make my new bedtime, I have a cut-off time for TV and computer work by 8:30 so I can get through my nighttime routine and be in bed by 9 p.m. Then, I spend an hour or so reading and 15-20 minutes watching ASMR videos on YouTube, with lights out by 10:30. It’s been amazing so far! It gives me lots of time to read and wind down at the end of the day, without feeling like I’m rushing around like a crazy person.

Loathing… that there are still way too many weeks between now and when my mom gets Lucy (my new baby fur-sister). Her official adoption date is May 24th and I’m taking time off work so I can go with my mom to pick her up and then play with her for the rest of the day! I’m so ready to meet her!

Watching… season two of The Crown and season four of Schitt’s Creek. I’m loving both! This is my second time around with Schitt’s Creek (I love that show so much, and it’s even better the second time). The Crown has been fascinating, especially since there was so much I didn’t know about Queen Elizabeth II. It’s not always a super-exciting show to watch, but it’s teaching me so much and the acting is phenomenal.

Listening to… Confronting OJ Simpson. This podcast is produced by Kim Goldman, whose brother Ron was killed along with Nicole Brown Simpson in 1994 by (allegedly?) OJ Simpson. Kim talks to everyone involved in the case—prosecutors, journalists, witnesses, and even jury members—to get to the bottom of how OJ was acquitted. I was way too young to follow this trial when it happened and I only know loose details, so I’m learning a lot. It’s a difficult, heavy podcast at times as Kim grapples with this tragedy that happened when she was just 22 (and as close as I am with my brother, her loss hits me hard). But it’s been fascinating, too, especially considering the OJ Simpson trial was dubbed the “Trial of the Century” and so many people watched it live.

Grateful for… getting vaccinated. I got my second Pfizer shot yesterday, and the more I think about being fully vaccinated two weeks from now, the more emotional I get. I will admit that the pandemic didn’t hit me nearly as hard as it did for other people. In many ways, it improved my life because I got to start working from home full-time and my social anxiety was at an all-time low. Of course, I was nervous about getting Covid but I tried to be proactive about doing what I could to limit my exposure. It helped that my county has had a mask mandate since the beginning of the pandemic, even if the rest of Florida is doing whatever the hell it wants. But even still, I am so grateful that I was able to get my vaccinations, and much, much sooner than I anticipated. I am grateful to have avoided getting Covid (that I know of). I am grateful for every high-risk person who doesn’t have to live in fear of Covid anymore. We’re almost through this.

Anticipating… a three-day staycation in May! My mom and stepdad are going away on vacation in May and need me to watch Chip, so I decided to give myself a little break, too. April was a really insane month of work (enough that I worked all weekend for the past two weekends, ugh) and I need the time off. Plus, the logistics of watching Chip while taking care of my cats can get a little crazy since I stay at my mom’s when I’m watching him. Maybe one day he can peacefully coexist with the cats, but he’s way too much of a wild man for them right now! So it gets a little nuts traveling back and forth between homes, and it will be much easier to do that if I don’t also have to think about work. I’ve planned something to do each day: a massage, a hair appointment, and an eye appointment, and will try my best not to turn on my work computer AT ALL during my time off. I just want to sleep and read and swim and play with Chip. 🙂

Thinking about… how different our bodies can feel from day to day. Ever notice how something that felt easy one day suddenly feels like the biggest challenge the next day? This has been happening to me a lot this week, and it’s frustrating. I know I’m not a robot, so things are bound to feel different from one day to the next, but it’s hard not to think that it says something about me and my internal motivations. I’m trying to give myself more grace to take it easy on those days when I’m in a funk and everything seems hard. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just my body’s way of telling me to slow down for a bit.

Wishing… for a cruise vacation. Man, I miss cruising so much! But I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that just yet. Maybe in 2022. But I do miss traveling and airports and hotels and sightseeing and being out of my normal routine. I can’t wait to reintroduce travel into my life!

Buying… supplies to organize my little “office.” I bought a new desk chair (it arrived yesterday!) that I will put together this weekend. And I bought some cord organizers to try to tidy up my cord situation. I have SO MANY cords for my work computer and it looks so messy. It’s been driving me crazy for a while, so I finally found some solutions to tidy everything up that I hope work. (I bought this cable management box and these cord wrapping bands.)

Feeling… both excitement and dread about re-entering the dating world once I’m fully vaccinated. I’m excited to see what’s out there, but I also know how demoralizing online dating is. I’m trying to remind myself of all the fun things about dating: trying new restaurants, conversating with someone totally new, first kisses, and that overwhelming feeling of possibility.

What are you currently watching, anticipating, and grateful for?

Loving… my spin bike! Of course! I have really enjoyed doing the beginner spin workouts on the Peloton app and I’ve already seen a difference in my performance. (The first few rides, my elbows, forearms, and wrists hurt from holding my upper body up, and now they don’t bother me at all!) I want to get a cadence sensor for my bike since the instructors seem to really focus on it in the classes and my non-Peloton bike doesn’t have a way to measure cadence. (I’ve just been working at a speed/resistance that feels good to me.) I think I can “graduate” from the beginner workouts, though, so that’s exciting!

Loathing… how hot it is already! Ugh, Florida. We’re already seeing temps in the 90s and it’s not even April! Thankfully, we’re getting these little temperature dips every now and then (this weekend, the highs are in the low to mid-70s!) so it’s not so bad, but I am not ready for summer weather just yet.

Watching… the current season of Nailed It! I was so surprised when I logged into Netflix and saw that a new season was released. I’m not a TV binger by any means, but I consumed the entire season over the weekend. It was perfection! Nicole Byer can do no wrong in my eyes.

Listening to… Nothing Much Happens, a podcast that gives you a bedtime story to fall asleep to. I’ve only recently started listening to this podcast (typically, I listen to ASMR videos on YouTube to fall asleep), but it’s really lovely and relaxing. It sends me to a soothing, happy place to fall asleep.

Grateful… that I was able to schedule my COVID-19 vaccine appointment! Florida is opening up vaccines to everyone over age 18 on April 5th, and I secured an appointment for April 8th. I’m so thrilled! This means I will be fully vaccinated by mid-May. I don’t know if this will change my day-to-day life much, but I’m just excited to see more and more people get vaccinated. We’re only at 14% of fully vaccinated Americans, but hopefully, by the end of May, that number will be dramatically higher.

Anticipating… potentially a tropical vacation this summer. With my mom and I soon to be vaccinated, we can start thinking about how we want to use our flight credit from the trip we had to cancel in 2020. It’s been fun to look up flights and hotels and to daydream about getting away. Planning vacations is one of my most favorite things, and I’ve missed it so!

Thinking about… investing in a few Olive & June products to start doing my nails again. I don’t paint my nails, ever, but I was influenced by a Bookstagrammer who was raving about Olive & June so I went to their site and started playing around. I could have easily dropped $50+ on new nail polish and dry drops and a special polish brush… thank goodness for the March spending limit I have myself on! I do miss having pretty colors on my nails but I probably need to take it slow (maybe just get a new color and topcoat?) to see if this is something I actually want. Hmm… perhaps I can reward myself with new Olive & June products every time I go a week without chipping my nail polish? Ha.

Inspired by… conversations about marriage with a friend. I have a friend who is so honest and open with me about her marriage, even discussing their disagreements and the way they work through them. It’s so eye-opening to me! I think there is so much about marriage that is hidden behind closed doors—like it’s taboo to talk about it. This friend has a really strong and stable marriage, but of course, she and her partner fight from time to time because that’s what couples do! I love hearing about the ins and outs of her marriage, mostly because it reminds me of how important it is to communicate in a marriage and be truly vulnerable about what you need since nobody is a mind reader. Anyway, it’s been inspiring and I’m glad she feels that she can share the realities of marriage with me.

Researching… how to get rid of the dark spots on my face (caused by acne). I’ve been meticulously keeping a multistep skincare routine for a few months now, and I’ve seen marked improvements from it. Even my esthetician is impressed with my clear pores and soft skin! But what hasn’t improved are all the dark spots dotting my chin and jawline from acne (I’m a serial popper + picker, sigh). I don’t necessarily want to try a chemical peel or microdermabrasion just yet, so I’ve been researching other skincare remedies I can try, like a dark spot serum. It’s something my esthetician recommended for me and I think I’m going to buy Murad’s Rapid Dark Spot Correcting Serum. I’ve had great luck with Murad’s products in the past so I’m crossing my fingers this one will work just as well. (And for the price, it better—whew!)

What are you currently loving, watching, and grateful for?